Change of Status of K1 due to violence

[Jonara 0]

For God's sake, people are entitled to change their minds! A K-1 petitioner has 90 days to marry or to decide that s/he wants to go back home. So, although it is a visa to allow enough time to marry, it is also a time to figure out if this is what s/he wants, especially if s/he has never been in the USA or any other foreign country, for that matter.

If you have never lived in a foreign country, you have no basis to judge somebody in such situation. Living in a new culture/country is very hard to do and not everybody has the character to survive in such scenario.

At the same time, please do not be so quick to accuse people of fraud just for asking a question. You do not know what conditions she will have to return to Brazil to, so we cannot fault her for looking at a way to "improving" her life. Let us focus on answering the questions (as it was clearly done) and stop passing judgment, especially if you are not fully aware of the circumstances.

Having said that, when she went to the consulate to get her visa she agreed to the rules of the visa: either she marries (the petitioner) or forgets about the whole thing. K-1 petitioners must be clear of that.

Such a philosophical dilemma. Generally people who are about to get married may change their minds, it's normal. But coming in as K-1, the whole concept of marriage becomes annoyingly transactional and you have to play by the rules. The fact that there is a long wait to even obtain that visa is good enough time to figure out what you want to do with your life. The 90 day period should not be viewed as "contemplating" time. 90 days is not even enough to plan a wedding (assuming that you'd like to play safe and make sure the fiance gets here first as opposed to planning way ahead) let alone add a "self-reflection" moment.

I've been slightly bothered by some forum topics around fraud in this site lately (lol I'm not accusing "fraud" in this particular thread by the way). But people who just messed around with the system ruins it for others who have good intentions. I've been depressed by being separated from my fiance. I see a lot of quotes here about the beauty of waiting and that's inspiring but at the end of the day.. WAITING SUCKS ANYWAY! I haven't prayed in years but I've started lately. LOVE IS PAIN!

[clueless_in_usa 8]

I don't understand the situation why after all the hardship of going through the visa process, a person can automatically change her mind to do what she is suppose to do - which is to get married to the petitioner. I am not here to judge but I guess she didn't go through the courtship stage. This girl that the OP is referring to is very strange to me.

Ok, let me give you an example. People get a K-1 visa, get married, and then (change their minds and) get a divorce.

If you ask me, I prefer that (my) fiancee changes her mind before marrying me than after getting married ...

... and please, do not tell me that people who get a K-1 (even madly in love) should stay together forever, because reality is not that way.

Yes! It is different to live miles apart from living under the same roof 24 hours a day, 90 days in a row (not to say 365 days a year).

[Chica Yeyé 41]

then, if you are not ready to live under the same roof... don't propose. quite simple.

[Kiv 32]

Hello everyone,

I am new to forum, so I wanted to say hello and with my first post I am looking for some answers for a friend. Thanks, in advance for your input.

Here is the situation:

A girl I met in Brazil. came over on a Fiance Visa with another guy a couple months ago. We have remained friends and stayed in contact via email and occasional phone calls since she arrived in the U.S. About 2 weeks ago, she called me crying saying that the ex-wife of her boyfriend beat her up with the help of her adult daughter. This was at a public event and the police were called and the ex-wife was arrested along with my friend's boyfriend. The boyfriend was arrested for hitting the ex-wife to get her off of my friend. My friend was hurt badly and she told me the police took pictures of her scares and bruises. My friend was at home scared because she has no one to help her out as she does not know anyone in the city or in the U.S. beside me. Since she lives many states away from me it was not much I could do.

She is in the last 30 days of the visa and now does not want to marry this guy, but she does not want to go back to Brazil. The boyfriend is apologetic and wants to marry her immediately. She wants to stay here so she will probably marry him just to get her documents.

I remember talk about a change of status of a visa if the woman was abused. My question is: Would this case qualify for her to get a change of status of her visa without marrying this guy????? Thanks for any help here.

If she does not want to marry then she is in a good time to go back before the k1 expires.

If there is another reason for her to don't want to go back to Brasil and to want to live in the US maybe there is another option for her like a Work or Family Visa, but she has to go back and start a new process, if she over stays her current visa she may get a bad record that can hurt her other options.

If she has in mind VAWA I think it does not work if she is not married. Her fiance did not hurt her but his ex, he was trying to deffend her, so I guess this is not an option.

[clueless_in_usa 8]

then, if you are not ready to live under the same roof... don't propose. quite simple.

This is why nobody divorces, because everybody who gets married is surely ready to live under the same roof forever.

I also like Utopia, but life has shown me that it is better to get real.

[AngelnSteve 0]

Ok read your first couple of posts in this thread - first you say she doesn't want to marry this guy - who apparantly has done nothing wrong, then state in the same post that she would just to get her documents = FRAUD.

In your second post you say she's not a bad person - so how about marrying the guy "just to get her documents".. sounds pretty bad to me - I don't need to read your other posts as your said enough about this person already

Edited June 24, 2009 by AngelnSteve

[bhajishah 4]

What a load of ####### calling you and playing victim.!!

She is from Brazil and never been in a family fight seen a fight and etc.. She cant use him to yell VAWA. But is lumping him with his ex wife to hint @ one. Also hinting @ a need for a hero to r4escue her . WOW the award goes to Scarlett.

Fiancee sdefended her and went to jail. Im sure his court case will be dismissed.

I know a lady her grown kids picked a fight and immigrant husband went to jail, she got rid of the kids. met him @ jail. bailed him out within minuters,paid the lawyer and the judge tossed out the case. Immigrant stayed by her side the whole time, even though he never been arrested before in his life. explained the situation to immigration. didnt even have interview for AOS. Still they happily married andnow the trouble makers know they cant come between them.

Being scared, depressed etc.. is often very selfish feelings in disguise.

She shouldnt be callin other men for help either. She should go to her Fiancee with fears and let him comfort/reassure her

[Chica Yeyé 41]

then, if you are not ready to live under the same roof... don't propose. quite simple.

This is why nobody divorces, because everybody who gets married is surely ready to live under the same roof forever.

I also like Utopia, but life has shown me that it is better to get real.

Listen. I did not say that. But if you file for a fiancee visa, you should be ready to get married. That's what the visa is for - the only reason it exists. Not ready? Don't propose. K-1 visas are NOT a "let's shack up for 3 months and see if we like it" visa. It is pretty damn simple.

[clueless_in_usa 8]

Listen. I did not say that. But if you file for a fiancee visa, you should be ready to get married. That's what the visa is for - the only reason it exists. Not ready? Don't propose. K-1 visas are NOT a "let's shack up for 3 months and see if we like it" visa. It is pretty damn simple.

I don't disagree with this statement, but please, do not make it so strict. We are humans. Only for that sole reason (being humans), we make mistakes. People are allowed to change their minds ...

... however, I hope that nobody gets away with breaking the rules.

[chrisc85 0]

ok, to me, in my opinion, it sounds like this girl just wants to stay here for the paperwork. the OP basically stated this blatantly. this, of course, IS fraud, and she should go home if she doesnt marry this guy and really love him. she has to according to the law anyway, and she should. it just doesnt make any sense why she would want to stay here in the US after going through everything (and everyone) that shes gone through.

as far as the whole "purpose of the visa" not being meant as a trial-run... yeah, the government states it this way, because if they didnt, there would probably be countless more couples who werent nearly as serious about each other going through with the visa process. but in reality it cant be so strict. things happen. im assuming (and this is just an assumption) that in most (and i seriously mean a majority here) cases, 2 people living in separate countries applying for a k1 visa will NOT have had the opportunity to live with eachother for an extended period of time, or depending on the culture and financial circumstances, not at all. i would NEVER be able to live with my female fiancee by ourselves in morocco before getting married. that would just not be acceptable. we have enough faith in our relationship to truly believe that things will work, and we love each other endlessly, but nobody knows for sure how things will really be until you are in the position at the time. i strongly feel it will work for us and will do everything possible to make sure it does. but there are couples in america who stay together for years and then they move in together and break up within a matter of months because they cant stand living with each other.

(then again, many young american couples arent serious about relationships in general. im not referring to anyone in particular, but we all know the basic typical american hook-up/break-up cycle)

on top of that, even if it was culturally acceptable to live with my fiancee before getting married, what are the chances that my boss at my job will be like "oh, sure chris. go ahead and take 3 months off so you can see if you really love living with your fiancee or not". yeah, sure. like that will happen. things happen and the 90 days can and should be used as a sort-of testing ground, but ONLY if they already truly love each other strongly enough in the first place and have for some time, to honestly believe and have the faith that it really will work out.

but this brazilian chick is giving up too easy. AND asking for documents. hahahah sheisterrr

Edited June 24, 2009 by chrisc85

[Aniomaman 0]

Just like everyone has said, if she is no longer interested in marrying a man that tried to save her from his ex then she should leave and not commit immigration fraud. Am sure she has seen more violence than that where she comes from and if I was a woman, my man's action would have reassured me that I will always have someone to stand for me. I just think her excuse doesn't hold water, but if you can just change your mind that quickly on marriage then one is not ready for marriage.

[Kanja 202]

LOL Im a newbie here but forgive me if I say some of you guys are rather HARSH....

However you have all stated the truth, there is no other way... Have the friend go back and maybe try to play the lotto (Diversity Visa) aka DV... maybe she will win

[DanielParul 50]

I've rewritten my response a half dozen times, and there's just no way to say this without sounding callous, so I'm just going to say it.

I think your friend is a fraud who came to the US just for a green card. Her willingness to give up her fiance because of a fight with his ex-wife speaks volumes. I hope her fiance comes to his senses, and realizes that he's been duped.

I'd fight my fiancee's ex-husband and his entire family and not give up on her. I'd sacrifice my US citizenship and go live in some disease infested hell hole just to be with her. I can't fathom someone who would give up their fiance because of a fight with his ex-wife, and yet still want to go for a green card. Her priorities are painfully obvious.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Ok, as I said in another thread on a similar topic, sh!t happens! People DO change their minds. I don't think most people would have any argument with that.

What IS being stated, repeatedly and rather emphatically, is that you DON'T come to the US on a K1 visa with the intention of using it as a tool to DECIDE. You should have decided before your US citizen sponsor even files the I-129F. Now, if you come here on a K1, with the full intention of getting married to your fiance(e), and find that you just can't live with your fiance(e), fine! No problem! Like I said, sh!t happens! Get back on the plane, and go back home! No harm, no foul!

What has ALSO been stated, repeatedly and just as emphatically, is that you DON'T come to the US on a K1 visa, change your mind about your fiance(e), but decide you STILL want the green card! In that event, there is no doubt in my mind that the intention of getting the visa was immigration and NOT marriage. This is what the OP's friend has done, and I'm convinced it's fraud.

[Ellie-and-David 38]

Hmmmmm,

I wonder if the petitioner will look like a more attractive proposition once your friend realises she has no legal way to make this K1 work in her favour.

If she changes her mind and goes ahead and marry's him....well I think any questions regarding her true intentions will be answered.