Islamic Marriage contract

[HoneyandSonny 0]

I know a few of you have been through the marriage contract ceremony....Just wondering what to expect. We are planning on having the Sheikh over to the house and having a party. So far we are making preparations for the ceremony and we have been checking out prices for flowers, cakes, chocolates.....We want something nice yet simple. Just trying to get some ideas here from those of you who have been through this ceremony.

Also I am wondering about the dowry, mahr? I have no idea what ask for and I only have another week or so to figure it out.

Edited June 22, 2009 by Honeyandsweetie

[nurse1967 287]

Ask your fiance what to ask for as for the dower. We put some minimal amount just because it is required and custom. We didn't have an actual ceremony since we got married in the courts. One thing you might be aware of is your can have it put in your marriage contract that you husband cannot have multiple wives. Also you can ask for other concessions as well. I am not trying to be negative but you know you always want to cover things up front. Good luck with your upcoming marriage!!

[Kenza 1]

I agree with Betsy as far as the mahr, my husband has given me so much, but on the marriage contract the mahr was 100 euros-which he didn't give me upfront, it was just written. I suggest one, small party with just the immediate family (hard for MENA countries I know lol). The engagement party we had was just immediate family and still about 100 people came. We had just appetizers-no dinner-to cut the cost. Wear one dress and have a wedding cake

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Ask your husband what is customary for the mahr. what did his father give his mother and uncles give aunts ect ect?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I know a few of you have been through the marriage contract ceremony....Just wondering what to expect. We are planning on having the Sheikh over to the house and having a party. So far we are making preparations for the ceremony and we have been checking out prices for flowers, cakes, chocolates.....We want something nice yet simple. Just trying to get some ideas here from those of you who have been through this ceremony.

Also I am wondering about the dowry, mahr? I have no idea what ask for and I only have another week or so to figure it out.

The Sunnah of the Prophet prescribes a low-key ceremony, inviting to friends and family, nothing ostentatious. What Muslims actually do is another thing, and that can vary widely. The very basic law is that of any other contract, the offer (to marry) , consideration (dowry), acceptance or rejection of the offer and contractual provisions. There are to be at least two competent witnesses, your contract should be registered with the court, and a merry time should be had by all. Wearing henna tattoos, proper paryers, and drinking milk and eating dates are a common element of the ceremonial tradition.

Your question about the mahr raises other concerns. Do you know what will be in your marriage contract? If you are have a legal nikah, you need to know whats in it, including whether or not it sets a mahr, and if that mahr must be paid at the ceremony, or if it can be deferred. For that kind of information, you must ask an expert on Islamic fiqh in Lebanon, and specifically the fiqh that would govern the jurisdiction where you will marry. In countries where Islamic law is recognized, it's as binding as any other kind of contract in the country where it is engaged, and, increasingly so in the US.

Also, and this is not just for you, you often cannot add or subtract provisions from a contract to suit you. You cannot just write your own contract, cannot necessarily deny the husband plural marriage, or anything like that. The law is the law there, as it is here, and is set by legal/religious authorities. What is allowed or not allowed varies from place to place, even within the country, just as it does in the US. What my marriage contract allowed or prohibited when I married in Sale, Morocco may have no relationship to what yours would say in Lebanon. If your husband is Twelver or Isma'ili Shia, it will make a difference, for Shia cannot permanently marry a non-Muslim.

I know you asked primarily about the ceremony, but, after the ceremony is done, the marriage goes on, insha'allah. You should never sign something you don't understand, or agree to contractual provisions without knowing your rights and responsibilites.

I hope this is helpful to you.

[HoneyandSonny 0]

My fiance is sunni but doesn't practice, he never wanted to have an islamic ceremony but here in lebanon one must marry according to your religion. We were doing some reading about the Mahr here in lebanon it said that Lebanese brides typically ask for high value items or an high amount of money...I guess to ensure that they don't divorce. Has anyone else heard of this? No I don't intend to ask him for a huge amount of money because I wouldn't feel right about it. Iam not sure what his father gave his mother or what his aunts asked for.

[Kenza 1]

My fiance is sunni but doesn't practice, he never wanted to have an islamic ceremony but here in lebanon one must marry according to your religion. We were doing some reading about the Mahr here in lebanon it said that Lebanese brides typically ask for high value items or an high amount of money...I guess to ensure that they don't divorce. Has anyone else heard of this? No I don't intend to ask him for a huge amount of money because I wouldn't feel right about it. Iam not sure what his father gave his mother or what his aunts asked for.

it doesn't even have to be money. a lot of times in Morocco, on the wedding day, the husband will "shower" his wife with gifts. Bracelets, necklaces, perfume, dresses, etc. I married in Rabat, Morocco and before signing, he asked me if i had any other conditions, i said no

[L179 1]

you can leave the mehr up to your husband to decide then.

mine was 100,000 rupees which is about 1,000 USD

[Zee Bee 61]

The mahr, as I understand it, is up to the discretion of the bride. Ask for an amount that you are comfortable with.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

In Egypt the Bride gets a gold braclettes, a gold ring, gold earrings, and a gold necklace. They may also get money.

[Sandrila 1]

At the time of my marriage I was not aware of my rights as a bride or even what the protocol was for marriage contract. His mother (=family) was not a stickler.

Quite frankly when you marry for love you don't think about what is in it for you.

You accept the normal conditions of marriage, love, support and fidelity.

Had I had known, I would have welcomed whatever I may have been entitled to.

I like the idea of having to consider what is presented to you.

My only real request would be to have had a wedding celebration of some sort.

I would never have rejected any gifts of jewelry as deemed necessary by my husband either

I know that in our marriage certificate we had to list somethings for dowry, however, I guess I defered them as my husband couldn't actually provide them. It was required that we list "something".

Had I known in Morocco I could request certain conditions I would have.

Not necessarily monetary but somethings I want him to adhere by. The subject of not having additional wives would have been addressed but from what I undestand a man cannot proceed in that direction unless he is able to provide for the one he has and then some. That wouldn't apply to my husband anyway.

OFF TOPIC but I still kick myself in the ####### for letting my ex off the hook having not been required to pay me alimony after the time and children I had given him. In retrospect better the husband be accountable and responsible for something, IMO

Edited June 23, 2009 by Sandrila