When Insults had Class

[Kathryn41 3,205]

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got

boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my

husband I'd give you poison."

He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the

gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or

your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -

Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great

pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the

dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading

it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved

of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar

Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a

friend.... if you have one." -

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is

one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -

Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -

Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -

Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -

Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on

it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -

Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support

rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho

Marx

[Jenn! 918]

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the

dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

oooh, burn...

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Those guys were the masters os classy "OH SNAP!" **claps**

[Ban Hammer 13,628]

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -

Charles, Count Talleyrand

nowadays, she's not called easy, she's "horizontally accessible"

[The_Dude 1,142]

Gotta love dry, snide humor. Something that a vast majority in the U.S. either abhor, or don't understand, or both.

[AlHayatZween 2]

although sometimes i can't resist a good quip about yo' mama.

[The_Dude 1,142]

although sometimes i can't resist a good quip about yo' mama.

Or the old Pharcyde Song "Yo Momma"

[Krikit 1,165]

I LOVE hidden innuendoes and insults. They make me laugh.

[The_Dude 1,142]

I LOVE hidden innuendoes and insults. They make me laugh.

Oh yes, those are the best ones. When they don't even realized that you've insulted them until someone explains it to them.

[Krikit 1,165]

I LOVE hidden innuendoes and insults. They make me laugh.

Oh yes, those are the best ones. When they don't even realized that you've insulted them until someone explains it to them.

Or they do realize it and it makes them laugh. lol

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I LOVE hidden innuendoes and insults. They make me laugh.

Oh yes, those are the best ones. When they don't even realized that you've insulted them until someone explains it to them.

Or they do realize it and it makes them laugh. lol

I take this as a green light? Whoohoo!

[edp333 9]

unlike:

Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.

Judging by the old saying, "What you don't know can't hurt you," he's practically invulnerable.

And there he was: reigning supreme at number two.

Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

[jundp 191]

Love it! Of course, nothing beats a good Shakespearean insult.