Hitting and Swearing

[RVIANE♛ 5]

I am a true bloodied filipina but I am not aware that there is a custom in our country that problems should not be discussed or talked about. I'm so puzzled by her attitude to be honest with you. Something is not right in her attitude. You should stop the hurting and hitting at the earliest possible time because if she got used to it, it would be a usual scenario in your home. I wonder why these attitudes of hers didn't came out in the open for the last year that you've been together. You have to be prepared because she's kinda weird and you don't know if there will be worse incidents that will happen in the future.

maybe its her way to get out from this relationship or leave him since she got approved with her AOS i hope im wrong

[MikenKyhen 0]

Never before have I hit her or she hit me thou she has in the past durring the verbal battles said things like "do you want to hit me now?"

To the person who told me to tell her the consequences of hitting, she apparently already knows as she commented last night that I should call the cops on her.

Sounds like she is trying to provoke you. Was she in a violent relationship in the past?

[MikenKyhen 0]

In the past we have had a few yelling fights because of something I apprently did or did not do, but she won't tell me what. She sometimes would say she asked me to do something when she didn't. Even threatening to leave me durring some of these verbal jousts. She never talks to me about what is wrong saying that it is not their custom to talk about problems. Apparently ignoring them is the norm.

Yet, when she got into a messaging fight with her aunt on a myspace type site, she would not stop talking about it and asking me for help with wording her replies. All her friends talk to her about what is going on with that but when we have our own issues its "shut up, we dont talk about it" or "leave me alone don't talk to me." A day later, usually after a day at work, she is back to normal and everything is fine, thou I still have no idea what happened.

Never before have I hit her or she hit me thou she has in the past durring the verbal battles said things like "do you want to hit me now?"

To the person who told me to tell her the consequences of hitting, she apparently already knows as she commented last night that I should call the cops on her.

When I have asked her if this is how her parents raised her or it this is how they treat each other or her sister treats her husband I am told not to bring them up and not to talk about them.

We have been married for over a year now. Last year around this time was when we got into our first verbal fight. We had a rough patch for a few months off and on. We then went for 8+ months with no issues. Some of the fights have been around her time of month.. I attributed them to mood swings and they would blow over the fastest. But this one right now puzzles me the most. I havent done anything wrong other than hitting back the other day. Everything has been going fine. She passed her learners permit finally and I have been teaching her to drive. I have yelled at her a few times because she came close to hitting things. Amazingly enough not other motorists but stationary objects are what she tends to almost hit. She gets mad at me at times for that too but thats a brief thing and its over once we get to our destination.

We got married last may and her aos was approved in February of this year.

Sounds like she is trying to provoke you into doing something that you would wind up regretting. Was she in a violent relationship in the past?

[rheanick 42]

Yesterday my filipina wife started hiting me several times, once in the mouth just slightly off camera when she was chatting with her family back home. I swore and said "ah, what the f..." and then she would not stop swearing or hitting me. When we were going to bed she slapped my face so I slapped her back, not as hard and told her to stop because its not nice and hurts. She then hit me some more times and swore some more and now will not talk to me..

Is this sime weird philippine custom that I never heard about? Did I break some custom by hitting back and telling her to stop?

Its not an acceptable attitude of a woman, a filipina or another nationalities. Prevent hitting her back. Try observe and document her attitude. Talk to a friend or psychiatrist about it. If you hit her back.. that's a good case for VAWA...

It is strange that a woman, not just a filipina, would hit and swear to you after talking to her family.

[Wonderer 0]

It sounds to me like she is trying to provoke a response out of you so that she can file a domestic violence complaint. Then she doesn't need you to remove conditions on her green card. Whatever you do, don't buy a house. She may eventually be living in it without you and you will be court ordered to pay the mortgage.

[Uthar 0]

Sounds like she is trying to provoke you into doing something that you would wind up regretting. Was she in a violent relationship in the past?

Not to my knowledge. Her family has told me that she has never had a BF before me. And I know for a fact that I was her first, if you get my drift. But that doesn't mean she didn't have guy friends who were violent.

The reason she did not have a BF before me was, according to her family, because noone wanted to date the deformed girl. She has a childhood injury that did not get proper treatment. The scar is only seen when she gets undressed but if you pay attention to her movement close enough you can see its effects. But it did not make my feelings for her change either way. I love her.

Normally her attitude is very upbeat and lively. She is the fun one that everyone wanted to have arround. Thats not to say she might not have been scarred mentally by guys wanting to be friends with her and not wanting to date her.

[sara..... 371]

this is not good no matter what the nationality of a person is.

u can try to get her into someplace to find help for her but if the relationship has progressed to hitting that fine line has already been crossed and from what i have seen in relationships that involve hitting it never goes back to what it was before that happened

if ur in a relationship that involves EITHER one of u hitting it is only my opinion but its time to decide for urself what is really going on here love is not abusive verbally or physically.

while it might be true she has some sort of hormonal problem once a month she needs to get help for it.

u need to protect urself and NEVER ever hit her back but do take pics of urself if there is any damage.

this is just my opinion

sara

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Yesterday my filipina wife started hiting me several times, once in the mouth just slightly off camera when she was chatting with her family back home. I swore and said "ah, what the f..." and then she would not stop swearing or hitting me. When we were going to bed she slapped my face so I slapped her back, not as hard and told her to stop because its not nice and hurts. She then hit me some more times and swore some more and now will not talk to me..

Is this sime weird philippine custom that I never heard about? Did I break some custom by hitting back and telling her to stop?

Something is very wrong...next time, get up and walk away, don't let her provoke you so much that you want to react and slap her back (just walk away). I'd have to talk to her about her behavior. If she doesn't have some underlying mental problem and just needs to vent maybe she should take a kick boxing class or something, but beating on her husband is not acceptable....I'm still thinking WTH

[LaneAndDaisy 0]

Yesterday my filipina wife started hiting me several times, once in the mouth just slightly off camera when she was chatting with her family back home. I swore and said "ah, what the f..." and then she would not stop swearing or hitting me. When we were going to bed she slapped my face so I slapped her back, not as hard and told her to stop because its not nice and hurts. She then hit me some more times and swore some more and now will not talk to me..

Is this sime weird philippine custom that I never heard about? Did I break some custom by hitting back and telling her to stop?

hi..i like to share my opinion ...maybe its her mannerism..some people are very physical, likes to touch and be touched and in her case, likes to hurt and be hurt(perhaps??) maybe she was tolerated to do it before...or no one told her that its not a nice thing to do ..she should be warned about its effect on other people...it should be stopped before it gets worse..i hope its just part of her being sweet (malambing???)i dont think so

Edited June 18, 2009 by LaneAndDaisy

[macutelit 0]

There is something wrong to that person.

[jamesNrei 0]

can't you talk to one of her relatives and find out what is troubling her and if she has any history of such violence? she might be angry with you about lots of things that it's been overwhelming her already, and for her hurting you physically is her way of outlet rather than talk about it? She might have some sort of scheme too. I dunno...but physical violence of a Filipina is not unheard of, but not common.

Try to make her communicate with you about her feelings and thoughts in a neutral and safe environment.

[MikenKyhen 0]

Sounds like she is trying to provoke you into doing something that you would wind up regretting. Was she in a violent relationship in the past?

Not to my knowledge. Her family has told me that she has never had a BF before me. And I know for a fact that I was her first, if you get my drift. But that doesn't mean she didn't have guy friends who were violent.

The reason she did not have a BF before me was, according to her family, because noone wanted to date the deformed girl. She has a childhood injury that did not get proper treatment. The scar is only seen when she gets undressed but if you pay attention to her movement close enough you can see its effects. But it did not make my feelings for her change either way. I love her.

Normally her attitude is very upbeat and lively. She is the fun one that everyone wanted to have arround. Thats not to say she might not have been scarred mentally by guys wanting to be friends with her and not wanting to date her.

I can tell you, this is something that isn't going to fix itself. It sounds like she is going to need some professional counseling. There is only so much you can do in a situation like this. The first step is weather she is willing to accept help.

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

can't you talk to one of her relatives and find out what is troubling her and if she has any history of such violence? she might be angry with you about lots of things that it's been overwhelming her already, and for her hurting you physically is her way of outlet rather than talk about it? She might have some sort of scheme too. I dunno...but physical violence of a Filipina is not unheard of, but not common.

Try to make her communicate with you about her feelings and thoughts in a neutral and safe environment.

She slaps you again out of the blue, I have her a$$ in jail, nobody needs to put up with abuse, man or woman. No excuse for violence.

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

Never before have I hit her or she hit me thou she has in the past durring the verbal battles said things like "do you want to hit me now?"

To the person who told me to tell her the consequences of hitting, she apparently already knows as she commented last night that I should call the cops on her.

Sounds like she is trying to provoke you. Was she in a violent relationship in the past?

maybe someone told her about vawa.

[almaty 19]

first of all, maybe she was angry and has a poor way of expressing in and this was family norms....second, of all..you hit her.,.GUILTY ...as her