Need help please

[Bashorun 1]

Valentine is a lady and not a guy. I see so many people make this mistake becos I had once been. Well, like everyone of us knows that have married to someone from a different culture, it is not always smooth at the beginning but that doesn't mean that ur partner doesn't love U. After some months and U look back to this time of ur life, U will diffinately see that it was just a misunderstanding like every other relationship. U're just adjusting to what will later become ur new life.

It is impossible to think U will not have differencies, especially the first few months U start living as husband and wife. If ur expectation in a marriage is a marriage without misunderstandings and the will to work things out with ur partner, then U better not ever try to get married. Even without immigration, people always are quick to use the word (HE USED ME, SHE USED ME FOR SOMETHING) when the marriage is going thru cummunication problems. Valentine, like everyone one of us here, U will later on understand ur fiance better and a little advice for U both here. watch what U say to each other when U're both angry becos this is the dangerous part of the relationship and will regret everything U say when U were both angry.

I still think some of us who had their marriages crushed during the misunderstanding period like this is simply becos they lived a fantasy world. Come to think about it and like we say in africa, if two brothers come out of a room and U cound see seriousness on the faces, that shows they are truthful to each other but if they come out and start smiling to each other like everything is always cool, check it out, all they are doing is lying to each other. They certainly don't love each other. The same goes to every couple. Just thro away the fantasy idea U had before ur spouse and U are now living together and face the reality of life. It doesn't mean U don't love each other.

Like I always say, it takes two for a marriage to work.

[joej 0]

Valentine is a lady and not a guy. I see so many people make this mistake becos I had once been. Well, like everyone of us knows that have married to someone from a different culture, it is not always smooth at the beginning but that doesn't mean that ur partner doesn't love U. After some months and U look back to this time of ur life, U will diffinately see that it was just a misunderstanding like every other relationship. U're just adjusting to what will later become ur new life.

I'm confused. I thought Valentine was a female also from previous posts, but then in this one he/she called their fiance a "she". Either way I guess it shouldnt matter.

Sorry Valentine that things are not going your way. I think the first few months are the hardest. As to your question, no you will not be able to remain in the U.S. legally once the K1 expires and you have not married and begun the AOS process. FYI I think you cannot get a ss number on a K1 untill after your EAD has been approved...Can someone else confirm that?

Also, like Optymistic said...why would you want to remain in the US anyway?

[john_and_marlene 162]

Valentine is a lady and not a guy. I see so many people make this mistake becos I had once been. Well, like everyone of us knows that have married to someone from a different culture, it is not always smooth at the beginning but that doesn't mean that ur partner doesn't love U. After some months and U look back to this time of ur life, U will diffinately see that it was just a misunderstanding like every other relationship. U're just adjusting to what will later become ur new life.

I'm confused. I thought Valentine was a female also from previous posts, but then in this one he/she called their fiance a "she". Either way I guess it shouldnt matter.

Sorry Valentine that things are not going your way. I think the first few months are the hardest. As to your question, no you will not be able to remain in the U.S. legally once the K1 expires and you have not married and begun the AOS process. FYI I think you cannot get a ss number on a K1 untill after your EAD has been approved...Can someone else confirm that?

Also, like Optymistic said...why would you want to remain in the US anyway?

Languages don't always translate exactly. My wife often switches he/she because in Tagalog (her native laguage) there is a single pronoun to describe both he/she. he = siya...she = siya so the occassional mistake is understandable. Perhaps that is the case here as well.

[sweetee 0]

Valentine is a lady and not a guy. I see so many people make this mistake becos I had once been. Well, like everyone of us knows that have married to someone from a different culture, it is not always smooth at the beginning but that doesn't mean that ur partner doesn't love U. After some months and U look back to this time of ur life, U will diffinately see that it was just a misunderstanding like every other relationship. U're just adjusting to what will later become ur new life.

I'm confused. I thought Valentine was a female also from previous posts, but then in this one he/she called their fiance a "she". Either way I guess it shouldnt matter.

Sorry Valentine that things are not going your way. I think the first few months are the hardest. As to your question, no you will not be able to remain in the U.S. legally once the K1 expires and you have not married and begun the AOS process. FYI I think you cannot get a ss number on a K1 untill after your EAD has been approved...Can someone else confirm that?

Also, like Optymistic said...why would you want to remain in the US anyway?

Ok everyone, I may be wrong also, but VALENTINE emailed my husband as a guy. He said his name is Iyke also and he is from Imo, Owarri state. So you go figure.

Anyway his sex is not the point. He/She asked a question and judging from his question he wants to know whether or not he can stay here even if he doesn't get married to petitioner. Well Valentine, the answer is no. And if you stayed here it would be illegal--ooo!!!

So i urge you to try and fix things with your fiance. Maybe you 2 can resolve whatever it is that is going on. I agree with "Taye" when stated you seem to be 2 quiet about your problems. NO qualms che!!!! That's up 2 you, but I just want to let you know that your original post could lead one to believe that you only want to stay here in the USA, regardless of how u do it. I just hope that you are not one of the brothers whom are willing to sell his soul to the just for a greencard!!!!

Sweetee

[john_and_marlene 162]

I don't understand the advice to be quiet and not make waves with the USC fiance. If she's that controlling, do you want to really be married to her? I think the best advice when she uses this as a threat is to exit the engagement immediately and return home. What is happening here is not healthy.

[Taye500 0]

Hey Vj's members,how is every thing with you guys.

Please i need you guys to help me with sugesstion on what to do now.

I came in the U.S on k1 in june and my staying here will expire on 7th sept 2006.

I am having a little misunderstanding with my Usc fiance and she is threating not to marry me

beuse of some personal isuues.

I want to ask you guys in this forum on what to do if she Refuse to marry me within the 90 days

of entry.What step can I take to legally resove my stay in the U.S.

And what does the law says about this issue.

thank you for your sugestions in advance.

Valentine, Your post and situation seems to be very confusing. whatever you are He or she please becareful in your dealings. Looking at your post and other posts, there seems to be deception in your post or mind. Please becareful, this is America and Nigeria already has enough bad name. Just last month, CNN crucified Nigeria on theri cable TV about Nigerian fraudsters, please don't be another statistics. Some of us are tired of this fraudsters and 419 destroying Nigeria abroad. And some of us we do whatever it takes to clean up the image, even if it takes reporting the fraudsters to the law enforcements. We work too hard to be classified as fraudsters. So my Brother/sister becarful and think twice b/4 you do anything evil, there are enough Nigerians in jail. And don't think i'm calling you a phony but your situation looks spooky.

[Bashorun 1]

Here is the message Valentine posted immediately he got the visa saying he is going to re-unite with her hobby. Or is hobby also used to refer to ones wife?????

PRAISE GOD FOR VICTORY AT LAST.

I GOT MY VISA TODAY AT LAGOS

AND I WILL BE HOME SOON, TO REUNITE WITH MY HOBBY.

I LOVE YOU ALL VJ'S MEMBERS AND I APPRECIATE ALL YOUR CONTRIBUTION.

I WILL BE IN HOUSTON ON 9TH JUNE 2006 BY THE GRACE OF GOD

I AM SO....... THANKFUL FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT.

MAY THE GOOD LORD BLESS AND SUSTAIN YOUR MARRIAGES.

AND I ENCOURAGE ALL OF YOU WHO ARE STILL WAITING, GOD WILL EMPOWER

YOU ALL AMEN.

VALENTINE

[Kanyiri 0]

Here is the message Valentine posted immediately he got the visa saying he is going to re-unite with her hobby. Or is hobby also used to refer to ones wife?????

I would rather not get into this discussion, but actually a "hobby" refers to something you do for fun in your spare time. Your "hubby" on the other hand can refer to your husband who would be a male. However, for those who do not have a firm grasp on the language they can use terms that they have heard a few times and attempt to apply them to a different conversation, often making simple mistakes. The person could have thought that "hobby" is just a term of endearment for a loved one.

I do not know the person whose identity is being debated and therefore have no footing to stand on as to what their situation is.

If my husband and I divorced, he would go back to where his family would support him. He came here for me, and for me alone.

I wish everyone the best.

Kanyiri

[Optimystic 0]

Here is the message Valentine posted immediately he got the visa saying he is going to re-unite with her hobby. Or is hobby also used to refer to ones wife?????

I would rather not get into this discussion, but actually a "hobby" refers to something you do for fun in your spare time. Your "hubby" on the other hand can refer to your husband who would be a male. However, for those who do not have a firm grasp on the language they can use terms that they have heard a few times and attempt to apply them to a different conversation, often making simple mistakes. The person could have thought that "hobby" is just a term of endearment for a loved one.

I do not know the person whose identity is being debated and therefore have no footing to stand on as to what their situation is.

If my husband and I divorced, he would go back to where his family would support him. He came here for me, and for me alone.

I wish everyone the best.

Kanyiri

If my husband and I divorced, he would go back to where his family would support him. He came here for me, and for me alone.

Thats exactly my point too Kanyiri... Why would anyone want to stay in a foreign country with no support base??? Question is did he really come to get married for the sake of loving his fiance, or is it for the greencard?

[Tropicana 0]

My first thought on reading this post is that there is more concern about remaining in the US rather than fixing whatever is wrong in the relationship. Adjusting to each other's quirks and habits is one thing however, I don't mean to be mean spirited when I say that it seems as if this "problem" is being presented to pave the way for the subsequent departure from the relationship while remaining in the US.

As some of the others have said, I hope this is not another fraudster----sometimes people do anything for that greencard. He does not realize that he cannot adjust status or anything unless he was married to the Petitioner. If there is really a problem, then I hope you can work it out through open honest communication and compromise.

[JenT 0]

He started a new thread... here... and it got buried...

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...c=20569&hl=