Lacking evidence

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Thank you all so much for the amazing support and advices, I am somehow relieved now.

Since I have limited evidence, I thought I'd rather copy each page of the 3 year ITR. Is it practical or I dont really need to do it?

After a lot of cursing over the high filing fee, 'rich' husband said he's not going to write a check. I have to pay it myself from my savings He said I just mail it through USPS, do you recommend it, or which courrier should I use? If I could also mail myself so I can hold those documents without getting lost or astray etc. I still have more than two months left but each day is crucial. I am just waiting now for the health insurance thing and his parents' affidavit

Some tough love going on there.

Take what you think will help your case. Better be overprepared than lacking.

USPS is sufficient to mail it - send it with delivery receipt (confimation if you wish).

You would want to make complete copies of everything you send.

[a&o 4]

I"m not sure if you mentioned it above, but you can call and get tax filing transcripts, too. And if you're renting, perhaps you can ask the landlord to write an affidavit to show you're co-habitating (if you are not listed on the lease)? Also, you can always put his name on your bank and credit accounts: just don't tell him you did, since he sounds like a very controlling jerk (sorry, but that's how you describe him so I'm assuming you agree). I'm sorry you're in this situation.

[Darcy 0]

If you send a confirmation recipt, you'll get a paper for tracking your document.

[JelloShotGirl 0]

Hi Huckleberry, I just wanted to let you know something doesnt sound right with your situation, of course I should not judge every marriage has problems you know. It sounds like your husband doesnt want to help you adjust status, what is his underlying motive? It just hurts me to read what is happening. I get really frustrated when I read about wives not knowing if they have health insurance in the US etc etc, these are important things couples need to discuss , do you know money is the biggest reason for divorce in the United States, sounds like this guy treating you badly, dont be shy to ask questions and speak up. I would say you should talk to his family about it. Good luck!

[Lil Miss Sunshine 14]

Hi.. Just wondering if your husband actually cares about keeping you here legally??

[huckleberry 1]

Maybe he cares about this process, silently, but he’s obviously not in a hurry, or maybe he doesn't care at all. I just don’t want to pressure him because he is making it difficult for me already. So I am doing everything I can gather for this process by myself. I'm gonna call his company myself in few days if he still wont have the health insurance thing.

I accept that we are separated 100% financially for I didn’t bring a single penny into this marriage (typical for some here) and everything he has he struggled and acquired for it himself, I didn’t marry him for money either, in fact it never came to my mind even in a millisecond, but at least I wanted us to be one emotionally. We are just too far apart. Hearty talk and discussion is impossible with husband, every time his mouth opens it hurts me. He orders me around left and right. When I said in anger “I’m not a slave or a maid” he was so so mad. . All we talk about is sex, outside it, he is not open to what I want and need to say, I just don’t have a voice, he never listens nor gives value to what I had to say, he does not discuss with me what’s he’s planning, I am always just surprised something has been done. One of the reasons I married him because he agreed we will have a baby, but now he's saying we wont have any; I'm not getting any younger.

I can only talk bit by bit to his aging parents. I once called their church leader, in tears, but I didn’t realize he has deaf ears. A lot of emotions, thinking and realizations has been building up inside me now but I am not yet saying a thing. Everyday is a struggle. I can build a lake, much smaller than his property though, with the buckets and pails of tears I had shed with him. My mother said to just continue to serve him even when there are no feelings anymore, until the right time.

I was like a puppy when I said we’d start all over again. We’ve have this problem for quiet a while now and there are times I really want to move out but I have no car and just some hundreds in the bank. He said he doesn’t want divorce because it would embarrass him being successful in his job and have failed marriages, this is his 2nd. He already accused me of after the green card (he should have not married me in the 1st place) only even when I didn’t know how it looked like and what is it before I married him. I am just being practical also; I feel he will not be a sport when we divorce and I know it’s more difficult for me that way with this lifting of resident condition, and while I am here it’s just right I not abandon it. You know how is it when you wanted to ‘worship’ your husband then you find out he’s treating you like an enemy he’s more than an enemy who keeps betraying you? I still can't fully grasp it all for now.

Thank you all so much for the advices. I have more documents now than before I came here. Till the RFE.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Many important things have been said here.

Know that you can't change the past. Now it's time to assess whether or not your hubby is interested in staying married to you and whether or not you want to stay married to him and stay in this country.

If you want to stay, focus on getting evidence together showing that you are really living as husband and wife together. If he's such a grumpy person, you're probably better off hoping that your file is going through smoothly, without an interview where he can say stupid things that potentially can hurt your case.

You want to file the I-751 now, the earlier the better. Gather all the evidence you can, definitely get at least two affadavids from citizens who can confirm that your marriage is real, and hope for the best.

After you get your 10-year GC, it's time to confront your husband and request more consideration for you. But, again, there's a time and a place for everything, and now's not the time to start a big confrontation.

Good luck!

[happywifeymom 4]

Maybe he cares about this process, silently, but he’s obviously not in a hurry, or maybe he doesn't care at all. I just don’t want to pressure him because he is making it difficult for me already. So I am doing everything I can gather for this process by myself. I'm gonna call his company myself in few days if he still wont have the health insurance thing.

I accept that we are separated 100% financially for I didn’t bring a single penny into this marriage (typical for some here) and everything he has he struggled and acquired for it himself, I didn’t marry him for money either, in fact it never came to my mind even in a millisecond, but at least I wanted us to be one emotionally. We are just too far apart. Hearty talk and discussion is impossible with husband, every time his mouth opens it hurts me. He orders me around left and right. When I said in anger “I’m not a slave or a maid” he was so so mad. . All we talk about is sex, outside it, he is not open to what I want and need to say, I just don’t have a voice, he never listens nor gives value to what I had to say, he does not discuss with me what’s he’s planning, I am always just surprised something has been done. One of the reasons I married him because he agreed we will have a baby, but now he's saying we wont have any; I'm not getting any younger.

I can only talk bit by bit to his aging parents. I once called their church leader, in tears, but I didn’t realize he has deaf ears. A lot of emotions, thinking and realizations has been building up inside me now but I am not yet saying a thing. Everyday is a struggle. I can build a lake, much smaller than his property though, with the buckets and pails of tears I had shed with him. My mother said to just continue to serve him even when there are no feelings anymore, until the right time.

I was like a puppy when I said we’d start all over again. We’ve have this problem for quiet a while now and there are times I really want to move out but I have no car and just some hundreds in the bank. He said he doesn’t want divorce because it would embarrass him being successful in his job and have failed marriages, this is his 2nd. He already accused me of after the green card (he should have not married me in the 1st place) only even when I didn’t know how it looked like and what is it before I married him. I am just being practical also; I feel he will not be a sport when we divorce and I know it’s more difficult for me that way with this lifting of resident condition, and while I am here it’s just right I not abandon it. You know how is it when you wanted to ‘worship’ your husband then you find out he’s treating you like an enemy he’s more than an enemy who keeps betraying you? I still can't fully grasp it all for now.

Thank you all so much for the advices. I have more documents now than before I came here. Till the RFE.

You can also request for the tax transcript with IRS and it's free. Hope everything will be ok.

[jellya 0]

Maybe he cares about this process, silently, but he’s obviously not in a hurry, or maybe he doesn't care at all. I just don’t want to pressure him because he is making it difficult for me already. So I am doing everything I can gather for this process by myself. I'm gonna call his company myself in few days if he still wont have the health insurance thing.

I accept that we are separated 100% financially for I didn’t bring a single penny into this marriage (typical for some here) and everything he has he struggled and acquired for it himself, I didn’t marry him for money either, in fact it never came to my mind even in a millisecond, but at least I wanted us to be one emotionally. We are just too far apart. Hearty talk and discussion is impossible with husband, every time his mouth opens it hurts me. He orders me around left and right. When I said in anger “I’m not a slave or a maid” he was so so mad. . All we talk about is sex, outside it, he is not open to what I want and need to say, I just don’t have a voice, he never listens nor gives value to what I had to say, he does not discuss with me what’s he’s planning, I am always just surprised something has been done. One of the reasons I married him because he agreed we will have a baby, but now he's saying we wont have any; I'm not getting any younger.

I can only talk bit by bit to his aging parents. I once called their church leader, in tears, but I didn’t realize he has deaf ears. A lot of emotions, thinking and realizations has been building up inside me now but I am not yet saying a thing. Everyday is a struggle. I can build a lake, much smaller than his property though, with the buckets and pails of tears I had shed with him. My mother said to just continue to serve him even when there are no feelings anymore, until the right time.

I was like a puppy when I said we’d start all over again. We’ve have this problem for quiet a while now and there are times I really want to move out but I have no car and just some hundreds in the bank. He said he doesn’t want divorce because it would embarrass him being successful in his job and have failed marriages, this is his 2nd. He already accused me of after the green card (he should have not married me in the 1st place) only even when I didn’t know how it looked like and what is it before I married him. I am just being practical also; I feel he will not be a sport when we divorce and I know it’s more difficult for me that way with this lifting of resident condition, and while I am here it’s just right I not abandon it. You know how is it when you wanted to ‘worship’ your husband then you find out he’s treating you like an enemy he’s more than an enemy who keeps betraying you? I still can't fully grasp it all for now.

Thank you all so much for the advices. I have more documents now than before I came here. Till the RFE.

You can also request for the tax transcript with IRS and it's free. Hope everything will be ok.

I feel really sad reading your story, i pray and hope things will be fine for your adjustment of status. Goodluck and may god bless you.

[meowmeowmeow 1]

wow.....im sorry about your situation.....hope it gets sorted out, and i mean that sincerely

[Loolie 56]

wow...i feel sorry for you...if i was in your situation i might give up the marriage because i wont stay in a relationship if my hubby will treat me like that...im amazed coz you were able to stay in that kind of relationship...what gives you the strength to do it?

and its weird your hubby said your up to his money...what made him think like that about you?

[mozplay 29]

Nobody has mentioned yet (I don't think) that it is fully possible to apply for your 10-year GC after being divorced. Perhaps this OP should consider starting divorce proceedings and then applying ... if that's what she's thinking anyway.

To me, it would be easier to explain lack of evidence if you are actually going through a divorce, rather than pretending to have a happy happy marriage.

[sara9 0]

what if god forbids CIS calls you for an interview? how he is gonna behave then? have u ever thought about it?

[tamara143 1]

Maybe he cares about this process, silently, but he’s obviously not in a hurry, or maybe he doesn't care at all. I just don’t want to pressure him because he is making it difficult for me already. So I am doing everything I can gather for this process by myself. I'm gonna call his company myself in few days if he still wont have the health insurance thing.

I accept that we are separated 100% financially for I didn’t bring a single penny into this marriage (typical for some here) and everything he has he struggled and acquired for it himself, I didn’t marry him for money either, in fact it never came to my mind even in a millisecond, but at least I wanted us to be one emotionally. We are just too far apart. Hearty talk and discussion is impossible with husband, every time his mouth opens it hurts me. He orders me around left and right. When I said in anger “I’m not a slave or a maid” he was so so mad. . All we talk about is sex, outside it, he is not open to what I want and need to say, I just don’t have a voice, he never listens nor gives value to what I had to say, he does not discuss with me what’s he’s planning, I am always just surprised something has been done. One of the reasons I married him because he agreed we will have a baby, but now he's saying we wont have any; I'm not getting any younger.

I can only talk bit by bit to his aging parents. I once called their church leader, in tears, but I didn’t realize he has deaf ears. A lot of emotions, thinking and realizations has been building up inside me now but I am not yet saying a thing. Everyday is a struggle. I can build a lake, much smaller than his property though, with the buckets and pails of tears I had shed with him. My mother said to just continue to serve him even when there are no feelings anymore, until the right time.

I was like a puppy when I said we’d start all over again. We’ve have this problem for quiet a while now and there are times I really want to move out but I have no car and just some hundreds in the bank. He said he doesn’t want divorce because it would embarrass him being successful in his job and have failed marriages, this is his 2nd. He already accused me of after the green card (he should have not married me in the 1st place) only even when I didn’t know how it looked like and what is it before I married him. I am just being practical also; I feel he will not be a sport when we divorce and I know it’s more difficult for me that way with this lifting of resident condition, and while I am here it’s just right I not abandon it. You know how is it when you wanted to ‘worship’ your husband then you find out he’s treating you like an enemy he’s more than an enemy who keeps betraying you? I still can't fully grasp it all for now.

Thank you all so much for the advices. I have more documents now than before I came here. Till the RFE.

hi huckleberry,

we're on the same boat, but you know what? i decided to leave my husband at once, right after we had some arguments which led to his incarceration for several days. i've been an abused wife and just kept silent for a couple of years. i am currently undergoing counseling. my suggestion, do not wait for you and your husband to have a MAJOR argument that would lead either of you to be sent in jail.

not all of us who gets married would want to get divorced in the end. sometimes, it's just so difficult for women to accept that our husbands are already abusing us. we tend to protect our marriage because of our religious belief, the culture that we were brought to or just being ashamed of what others would say if our marriage fails.

just to let you know, there are several ways to know if you're being abused. based on what i've read on your post, your husband is somewhat manipulative, controlling and doesn't care at all with your feelings. certainly, these are characteristics of an abuser. have you tried to consult a lawyer? why don't you call some hotlines regarding domestic abuse?

if your husband is not cooperative at all in helping you to remove your conditions, obviously, he wanted you to get deported back to the philippines. consult someone, legal counselors, who could help you decide on what steps you have to take. Just pray!!!

God bless!

Edited June 21, 2009 by tamara143

[JelloShotGirl 0]

THere is a packet that u got when u went to the CFO course that has some tel#s if you need some help. I feel like I want to cry when I hear your story. I cannot see you staying in an unhappy marriage. You do not deserve that. You should be happy, not a prisoner in someone else's home. You will need to figure what u want to do, stay w ur husb, divorce ur husband and stay in US or go back to Philippines. Dont feel embarrased about divorce or leaving united states if you want to. In the long run u will be happy and free!