Advice needed

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Too weird. Block his emails and hang up on his phone calls. Toss his letters in the trash. No explanation necessary, it's over.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I meant to say I live in England and we have now split up. For lots of reasons but I wanted to end it because of how badly he treated me.

He had asked me to ask a friend of his who is a lawyer about getting an immigration lawyer. We didn't sign anything for the immigration lawyer except the forms for the K1 visa. The lawyer did say that we could get married but not tell immigration. I am glad I didn't go down that route.

I never put my name to anything except to email people but the forms were all signed by him. I never put my name to the house and we certainly never had a prenup saying I would give him the money.

He did tell me he would sue me for breach of promise and now says he wants all the money he paid even though there was nothing to say I would do that. He claims he is suing me becasue Heather Mills sued Paul McCartney and we went onto a website and had a virtual wedding and now he thinks that it is legal even though it isn't.

I am just scared he can sue me and I know if he could he would. I know is isn't the first time he has threatened me with the police and the law but this terrifies me. I know now he doesn't love me and while I always guessed it this has just proved it.

Despite what the lawyer above told you, the @$%@%@& Lawyer that told you that you could get married and not tell immigration...yeah, that guy, he would gladly take money from your ex-fiance to sue you. He doesn't care that it would not stand up in court, he wants money. So for a retainer of $1000, maybe more, he will file papers to sue you if your ex will sign them. Then the court will eventually throw it out and you ex will get nothing but the parasitic attorney will make a few thousand.

SAYING you are going to sue somone is different than doing it. They have to "serve" you with papers in England. The local county Sheriff isn't going there to serve you (must be done in person or by registered mail in some jurisdictions) so just don't be signing for any registered letters. Let your ex waste more of his money on attorneys.

Also, another thing I have learned after many years in business, the very moment someone says they "will sue" you MUST cut off all communications with that person for any reason. You cannot speak to him as it would only give him information. Answering the phone and saying "hello" gives him information. I would change my phone number tomorrow, do no tgive it to him or anyone that knows him. If he will sue you, make him pay an attorney to do his communication for him.

[AllieG 0]

I am not a troll and this is a genuine situation. I did sign the letter of intent and all the forms. I wish I hadn't now reading that it could be viewed as me wanting to move there. I will just have to ask the lawyer we met with about that.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I am not a troll and this is a genuine situation. I did sign the letter of intent and all the forms. I wish I hadn't now reading that it could be viewed as me wanting to move there. I will just have to ask the lawyer we met with about that.

This is where it get's tricky. If you asked five different lawyers you'd probably get five different opinions.

Somebody previously said that the court would need to have jurisdiction over both of you. This isn't true. The court where the lawsuit is filed would need to have jurisdiction over the subject matter, i.e., the laws governing the alleged injury suffered, and the person who is claimed to have caused that injury. Theoretically, your fiance could hire a barrister in the UK and sue in a UK court, citing UK law. In order to do that, I would think he'd need to be able to prove that the letter of intent was a binding contract under UK law. If you used the example letter on this site then I think that would be very difficult to do. The text of the example letter is:

I, (applicant’s or beneficiary’s name) , do hereby state that I am legally able and willing to marry (petitioner’s or beneficiary’s name), and intend to do so within 90 days of my arrival into the US using the K-1 visa.

The example letter says "intend" and not "promise", and the precondition is your arrival in the US using a K-1 visa, which never happened.

If he has any grounds at all (and I don't believe he does), I would think it would be for breach of contract, and NOT for breach of promise. Breach of promise laws date back several centuries, and are originally derived from British common law. Most places have removed these laws from the books, but they still exist in some places. These laws were written to protect women from men who would promise to marry them and then back out. They were a necessary protection at a time when a woman's future was largely dependent on having a man to marry. I don't know if these laws still exist in the UK, but if they do then they are likely very old, very rarely used, and almost certainly don't protect a man from breach of promise unless a dowry was paid. As I said, they were primarily intended to protect woman rather than men.

My personal opinion is do what Gary recommends and stop communicating with him. I don't think you need to consult an attorney unless he actually files a lawsuit. I think most attorneys wouldn't touch his case with a barge pole.

[jundp 191]

Sorry, OP but I think your ex is full of ####### and just trying to scare you. Follow the other posters' advice. Don't take his calls. Delete his emails. Don't take his letters, etc.

You can't get married via the internet and have it hold up legally so don't worry about that. It's a good thing you got out before you married this guy!

[Danu 19]

I am not a troll and this is a genuine situation. I did sign the letter of intent and all the forms. I wish I hadn't now reading that it could be viewed as me wanting to move there. I will just have to ask the lawyer we met with about that.

This is where it get's tricky. If you asked five different lawyers you'd probably get five different opinions.

Somebody previously said that the court would need to have jurisdiction over both of you. This isn't true. The court where the lawsuit is filed would need to have jurisdiction over the subject matter, i.e., the laws governing the alleged injury suffered, and the person who is claimed to have caused that injury. Theoretically, your fiance could hire a barrister in the UK and sue in a UK court, citing UK law. In order to do that, I would think he'd need to be able to prove that the letter of intent was a binding contract under UK law. If you used the example letter on this site then I think that would be very difficult to do. The text of the example letter is:

I, (applicant’s or beneficiary’s name) , do hereby state that I am legally able and willing to marry (petitioner’s or beneficiary’s name), and intend to do so within 90 days of my arrival into the US using the K-1 visa.

The example letter says "intend" and not "promise", and the precondition is your arrival in the US using a K-1 visa, which never happened.

If he has any grounds at all (and I don't believe he does), I would think it would be for breach of contract, and NOT for breach of promise. Breach of promise laws date back several centuries, and are originally derived from British common law. Most places have removed these laws from the books, but they still exist in some places. These laws were written to protect women from men who would promise to marry them and then back out. They were a necessary protection at a time when a woman's future was largely dependent on having a man to marry. I don't know if these laws still exist in the UK, but if they do then they are likely very old, very rarely used, and almost certainly don't protect a man from breach of promise unless a dowry was paid. As I said, they were primarily intended to protect woman rather than men.

My personal opinion is do what Gary recommends and stop communicating with him. I don't think you need to consult an attorney unless he actually files a lawsuit. I think most attorneys wouldn't touch his case with a barge pole.

The letter as well is addressed to USCIS, not the petitioner, but as Jim says, its intending to marry, not have to marry, I doubt he would have anything to actually hold up as you are promising the government that you intend to marry him in the 90 days, but that is only if you came over on the visa, and it still doesnt promise that you will, its just that you intend to, which allows you to back out and leave if you choose not to get married on the visa. So if you did come over and left, you didn't promise to marry him. I wouldn't worry about it looking like you wanted to move to the states either, as you left and are back in Britain, so it shows you were trying to come over legally to be married to this dude, decided he wasnt for you, and left. No harm no foul if you didnt run over your 90 days.