Maids and Nannies in ME

[sandinista! 1,816]

Islam doesn't require a wife to do housework, and allows her to request household help, so it's no at all uncommon among the upper class in many MENA countries. We always had servants growing up, but our parents raised us. We had servants when we were raising our children, but we raised our kids ourselves. I didn't feel bad about hiring help at all. They needed a job like anyone else, and they did very good work. Sadly, some people do treat their servants like slaves. This is a problem especialy in the Gulf region because there are many people who had slaves in the past; slavery was legal until 1964. Slavery is still practiced in some third world country as a means of paying off debts. Still, following Islam, one is required to be kind and respectful of their slaves and servants.

WHAT???? Islam doesnt require a wife to do housework???

then why does my husband give me such a hard time about getting it done and he gets indifferent if I ask for HIS help?

True, Maliki fiqh is one of three schools that accepts that as a fact, but its scholars added the caveat that, if local custom requires that women do housework, then, they can be expected to do housework.

You don't want to know why scholars decided women don't have to do housework, though . . . That's a whole nother can of worms.

i want to know.

are a woman's upbringing and living standards she is used to a factor? as well as a man's income? a good portion of the couples on this website anyways are a lot different than the norm throughout mena. personally, i find it appalling that there would be men who won't even chip in with cooking and other household work when their wives make the majority, if not all of the household income. there's no excuse for that, whatsoever.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

i want to know.

I appreciate that, sis, and I am willing to tell, but in light of how so much of what I reveal about Islamic law brings on contention and anger on the MENA board, please allow me to wait until I get more than one request for the information. I'm so over being viewed as an unwelcome thorn on this board re topics about Islam.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

i want to know.

I appreciate that, sis, and I am willing to tell, but in light of how so much of what I reveal about Islamic law brings on contention and anger on the MENA board, please allow me to wait until I get more than one request for the information. I'm so over being viewed as an unwelcome thorn on this board re topics about Islam.

well, Im not muslim but still willing to hear about it. I always enjoy what you have to say VW.

[Staashi 371]

Me, too. I think your insight is fascinating.

[doodlebugg 10]

i want to know.

I appreciate that, sis, and I am willing to tell, but in light of how so much of what I reveal about Islamic law brings on contention and anger on the MENA board, please allow me to wait until I get more than one request for the information. I'm so over being viewed as an unwelcome thorn on this board re topics about Islam.

Is it so she'll have more energy in the bedroom?

[Zee Bee 61]

i want to know.

I appreciate that, sis, and I am willing to tell, but in light of how so much of what I reveal about Islamic law brings on contention and anger on the MENA board, please allow me to wait until I get more than one request for the information. I'm so over being viewed as an unwelcome thorn on this board re topics about Islam.

Please do share. I have always found what you say about Islam educational and enlightening

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

i want to know.

I appreciate that, sis, and I am willing to tell, but in light of how so much of what I reveal about Islamic law brings on contention and anger on the MENA board, please allow me to wait until I get more than one request for the information. I'm so over being viewed as an unwelcome thorn on this board re topics about Islam.

Is it so she'll have more energy in the bedroom?

that couldnt be, or else none of the wives would do the housework, bcz the men would make sure it gets done!

[AlHayatZween 2]

i want to know.

I appreciate that, sis, and I am willing to tell, but in light of how so much of what I reveal about Islamic law brings on contention and anger on the MENA board, please allow me to wait until I get more than one request for the information. I'm so over being viewed as an unwelcome thorn on this board re topics about Islam.

Tell tell!!

[AlHayatZween 2]

Is it so she'll have more energy in the bedroom?

that couldnt be, or else none of the wives would do the housework, bcz the men would make sure it gets done!

if it is, then we are getting a maid!

[UmmSqueakster 54]

http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=...614&CATE=10

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satelli...aEAskTheScholar

What islam says and what muslims do are all too often completely different things, and convincing a muslim man that his perception of islam is wrong can be quite difficult.

If you're not already married, hash out the housework question and put the results in the marriage contract. If you are and want to renegotiate, well, good luck to you, ha.

[AlHayatZween 2]

i used to do a lot of housework. Mrs. Clean! Mrs. Clean!

then i got tired...

[Sandrila 1]

I got burned out raising my 3 children and running around like a chicken with it's head cut off!

I learned how to manage my stress by choosing what is important. Cleanliness more than tidiness for me.

I may not have a physically stressful, all hour of the night job but I put in my 40 nonetheless.

I am tired and ready to enjoy. I don't mind satisfying my husband's every whim as long as he at least trying to satisfy some of mine.

It has taken me some time to realize the cultural differences are creeping in here.

I am more than willing to accept them but I find it isn't as easy for him to.

Even though he is not what I'll call a practicing Muslim, it all is ingrained in him.

Whether cultural or religious the expectations can be very hard to live by.

Edited June 17, 2009 by Sandrila

[Krissy! 0]

I haven't seen the maids/nannies in ME. But I've heard and read about them.

It is work for a lot of them, and it seems like those who are in those professions and have work are content as it is and feel fortunate that they can provide for their own family. (not sure about the slavery part)

Personally, if and when I have the money AND the house, I would not mind hiring housecleaning/maid service (I prefer having a personal one -- not from those maid services that sends out random workers). My parents always had the same cleaning lady come in once every two weeks for "deep cleaning/dusting" (she isn't very good at it, but we still pay her for it.... because we know she needs the money and my parents are happy that they don't need to do all that serious cleaning -- although they have to tidy up before she comes -- one of my childhood drama... they loved using the excuse "you need to clean, or LeeAnn will throw away your toys!" -- not really)

As for nannies: I know many good families are still very much a part of their kids lives even with a nanny present. Nannies help make the days go by easier for everyone in the family. I have friends who work as nannies, and I have personally worked as one for a short time. Loved it, I felt very much part of the family too.

Again, I do stress the importance of families personally interviewing potential employees/nannies/maids/chefs/whathaveyous. Also, There's a big market for surivellence cameras too for those who aren't comfortable living kids alone with someone.

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

i want to know.

I appreciate that, sis, and I am willing to tell, but in light of how so much of what I reveal about Islamic law brings on contention and anger on the MENA board, please allow me to wait until I get more than one request for the information. I'm so over being viewed as an unwelcome thorn on this board re topics about Islam.

I too, would like to know what the reason is that we aren't required to do housework. Do tell.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

i want to know.

I appreciate that, sis, and I am willing to tell, but in light of how so much of what I reveal about Islamic law brings on contention and anger on the MENA board, please allow me to wait until I get more than one request for the information. I'm so over being viewed as an unwelcome thorn on this board re topics about Islam.

I always enjoy your input even though I hardly comment on it.

Nannies and maids.. hmm

well, I dont think I would mind a maid once a week or so.

If I didnt work and sat at home all day long ...NO to a nannie, I find it a little disturbing that one would have a fulltime nanny to stay with the kids if you arent working. Why have children if you dont want to raise them yourself? A working mother already has to give their children to someone else for 8-10 hours a day. I dont understand being a "stay at home mom/housewife" but not doing it yourself.

thats just my feeling.

Maybe if you had a ton of kids and the nanny just helped out in managing them all..that would be different. But I always picture a non working mom with a fulltime nanny as a "checked out" parent.