Maids and Nannies in ME

[doodlebugg 10]

I'd really like a maid and especially a cook right now. I don't know how to cook egyptian dishes and would like to learn to make them for habibi so he is happy state side. A cook could show me. His MIL has offered to come stay with us and teach me some recipes. Right now I'm just getting the drinks down. They even have different tools they use over here to prepare with. We're on a tight budget but I'd love to have someone come and deep clean our place so I don't have to do it myself. They don't have the cleaning stuff I am used to over here either so I'm improvising the best way I know how. Some mixed couples that I have met over here have told me if you hirer someone to come clean the place that only means doing the floors.

Can your mom or someone send you a care package with things like Windex, Lysol bath and tile cleaner, Joy, etc. or whatever brands you prefer for cleaning? Have you been to http://www.egyptsearch.com/forums/ultimatebb.cgi ? Just a warning that it's not really moderated on a regular basis but if you stick around for a while you'll make some friends who are expats and can give you the 411 on where to get stuff, etc. There's also a wives of egyptians group on yahoo but I haven't been there in ages and forget how to get there. I know they used to meet up every so often. Maybe the embassy has posters of groups of Americans that get together or something? You're still prolly honeymooningxxx but once that pink cloud lifts try looking at that site I first mentioned. They have a whole entire section for recipes.

[MrsAmera 41]

My husband's family has had a servant for as long as I've known him and I believe for a few years before that. However, his family treats her like she is a part of the family. She does not do everything, everyone helps out, but when his sisters are gone (they are all married) home, she is there to help out his mom as she is not well. I think of it sort of like a live in hospice. She is very sweet and I wish I had her here with me! When we were there last year with Khalil (he was 15 months old) she would take him in the morning when he got up and I got to *gasp* sleep in!!! She helped me soooo much with him, but we also gave her money when we left for the extra help. Do I think that the situation is ideal for some domestic workers - no absolutely not. But I know that if she were not living with my husband's family her life would be MUCH harder. Now she has a roof over her head, as much as she wants to eat, and money in her pocket. She also goes to visit her family on a regular basis.

When we move to Morocco one day inshallah I would looooove to have a nanny and housekeeper. I plan to work at least part time and want someone in the house to help with the kids. I work full time now and have a babysitter so I guess I don't really see what the difference would be. Having a housekeeper will give me the time to spend with my kids that I would be cleaning/cooking etc. If I could afford to do that here I would!

[Sandrila 1]

Hello, is it honey or sweetie? lol

welcome and I am assuming you are there in the ME

I have no experience with that but I am sure it would be a heck of alot more reasonable there than here.

I know alot of MENA wives have some expertise where that is concerned so they could chime in.

I don't think my husband would want to put out any extra money for that if we lived there.

I think families are probably willing to help with the children.

[Sandrila 1]

i have no problem with a maid, as long as she's dressed like this

Charles! B)

[Sandrila 1]

Islam doesn't require a wife to do housework, and allows her to request household help, so it's no at all uncommon among the upper class in many MENA countries. We always had servants growing up, but our parents raised us. We had servants when we were raising our children, but we raised our kids ourselves. I didn't feel bad about hiring help at all. They needed a job like anyone else, and they did very good work. Sadly, some people do treat their servants like slaves. This is a problem especialy in the Gulf region because there are many people who had slaves in the past; slavery was legal until 1964. Slavery is still practiced in some third world country as a means of paying off debts. Still, following Islam, one is required to be kind and respectful of their slaves and servants.

WHAT???? Islam doesnt require a wife to do housework???

then why does my husband give me such a hard time about getting it done and he gets indifferent if I ask for HIS help?

Edited June 16, 2009 by Sandrila

[Sandrila 1]

I was lucky and I sacrificed ALOT to stay home with them.

I always worked around my family, but people gotta do what they gotta do.

If you have to work you can't beat yourself up about it, you just have to do all you can in the time you are with them.

It sucks but unless you have a successful husband, who is going to foot all the bills and then some, most women have to contribute.

It is a tough decision. My thought was I didnt have them to let someone else take care of them #1. We were lucky to have had help from my ex's family BUT the other point is I going to work and all that money is going to go toward childcare

Didn't make sense to me.

Now in retrospect I look how hard I am struggling in the work force because I forfeited attaining a career and working FULL time to save money so we could get ahead and now I feel I am paying the price for staying home, but I don't regret it, I just wish the kids, now that they are older could appreciate and remember that.

Edited June 16, 2009 by Sandrila

[Ihavequestions 419]

I have a maid who comes in once a week and cleans the entire flat from top to bottom. I pay her generously, make her lunch, and always send her out the door with something in her hand. She's a lovely lady and she works hard but she's poor. My money makes her a little less poor. While I wouldn't bring a nannie into my home to raise children, I don't have a problem with putting money into someone's pocket that they wouldn't have otherwise.

[Ihavequestions 419]

I'd really like a maid and especially a cook right now. I don't know how to cook egyptian dishes and would like to learn to make them for habibi so he is happy state side. A cook could show me. His MIL has offered to come stay with us and teach me some recipes. Right now I'm just getting the drinks down. They even have different tools they use over here to prepare with. We're on a tight budget but I'd love to have someone come and deep clean our place so I don't have to do it myself. They don't have the cleaning stuff I am used to over here either so I'm improvising the best way I know how. Some mixed couples that I have met over here have told me if you hirer someone to come clean the place that only means doing the floors.

Olivia, find yourself what I call a "plastic ####### store," the places that sell the plastic shelves, plastic buckets, that kind of thing. They usually have cleaning products inside. There's one of these stores on every block so you should be able to find one easy enough.

Really, everything you need to clean can be done with a bottle of dish soap, a bag of powdered laundry soap, a bottle of bleach, a bottle of vinegar, some rags, and a squeegie. If it's really bad you can buy steel wool by weight. You can get proper glass cleaner - blue and in a spray bottle - here but you really don't need it.

It shouldn't cost you any more than 50 LE for someone to come in and deep clean the entire flat and spend an entire seven-hour day doing it. Even if you only do it one time to get the grime up (I know how rented flats can be) it's worth it because you can maintain it from there. If people you've met paid someone to clean and only got their floors done it's their fault because either they paid them before they finished the job (in Egypt, paying someone means they're done and free to go) or they didn't communicate what they wanted done properly. It's summer, so it's ant season, and you really are going to want to make sure there's no food remnants laying under anything or you'll never get rid of them.

Olivia, insist on a feather duster. You will battle dust every single day and a feather duster makes that battle a little easier to live with.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Thanks I got a duster and I like it. Every day there is new dust. I will speak with Waleed about a deep cleaner to come in for 7 hours and keep in mind what you said about paying them after they are done and making sure they clean effectively. I can't bring myself to do the greasy kitchen or scummy bathroom to save my life. I'll pay someone to do it.

[sandinista! 1,816]

I have a maid who comes in once a week and cleans the entire flat from top to bottom. I pay her generously, make her lunch, and always send her out the door with something in her hand. She's a lovely lady and she works hard but she's poor. My money makes her a little less poor. While I wouldn't bring a nannie into my home to raise children, I don't have a problem with putting money into someone's pocket that they wouldn't have otherwise.

i wish there were more people like you

[Aymsgirl 0]

My husband used to have a maid in Egypt. I didn't know this until recently. Unfortunately, I am the maid now in our home. I wouldn't mind somebody to come in and deep clean and I do the surface and straightening up throughout the week. I really can't imagine having a live in nanny but it would be nice to have sombody to help out on busy days and work days.

[sandinista! 1,816]

Iam not sure if this topic has been beat to death..... Maids and nannies here, Iam really not use to the idea of having someone cook, clean and even raise my kids for me. Jw, what are some of your thoughts on nannies and maids?

My attitude...hmmm...

Wish I could have taken my cousins maid/nanny home from Jordan with me to clean, cook and watch my twins. She was the bomb diggity!

On the other hand, I have seen how many are treated and know their pay is slave labor so its sucks but work in every one of the ME countries is hard to come by and pay stinks so who can compare what they do to what others do to survive there as well. There are worse jobs to be had over there for sure.

i get what yr saying, but still...

the working conditions for a huge number of domestic workers in mena turns my stomach.

yep...i agree. Door men and their families in particular made me sick. I couldn't get my mind around the fact that they live in small under staircase rooms with hardly enough room for all of them to just sit never mind lay down. On one trip to Alexandria our door man and his family lived in a space under the stairs (I kid you not) w/ a burner that had a tea pot on it and his VERY pregnant wife was working with him. My husband put my bags at the front door w/ me and went to park the car. She tried to take my bags from me. She keept tugging w/ me till I finally just sat on my luggage. I was pregnant too but I'd be dammed if I was letting her carry my stuff up 4 flights of stairs in that condition. I waited for my husband to come inside and he took everything up to our flat and teased me about struggling w/ her. He said, she'll be out helping someone else in a few minutes. It never ends.

OT...I just watched a show about the workers in Morocco cleaning the animal skins to sell. I would never in my life want that job....I could not believe the conditions. Thank god there is no such thing as "smell a vision"

i've seen that too! it's so awful.

[samira_07 1]

I am going back to work this fall from taking time off we are looking for a nanny now to start in Aug (a live in nanny). If I had an older aunt, a sister or any family member then I would be able to have them live with us and help out with the children, but I do not and I am not in Morocco where cousins are plentiful and willing to come, live and help out the family. We checked day care costs and compared them to having someone live in with us and they are about the same, the only issue is we do not have to drive out with the children at 6 am to drop them off! (we both start at 7!). I do not think having a nanny takes away anything with being part of your childdren's lives. For us it is a good opportunity to ensure our children our safe and in an enviorment they are comfortable with, I will not even begin to talk about the baby, she doesn't seem to like anyone holding her except for baba or mama So I just hope we do not ended up going though nannies like a bottle of water on a hot summers day

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Islam doesn't require a wife to do housework, and allows her to request household help, so it's no at all uncommon among the upper class in many MENA countries. We always had servants growing up, but our parents raised us. We had servants when we were raising our children, but we raised our kids ourselves. I didn't feel bad about hiring help at all. They needed a job like anyone else, and they did very good work. Sadly, some people do treat their servants like slaves. This is a problem especialy in the Gulf region because there are many people who had slaves in the past; slavery was legal until 1964. Slavery is still practiced in some third world country as a means of paying off debts. Still, following Islam, one is required to be kind and respectful of their slaves and servants.

WHAT???? Islam doesnt require a wife to do housework???

then why does my husband give me such a hard time about getting it done and he gets indifferent if I ask for HIS help?

True, Maliki fiqh is one of three schools that accepts that as a fact, but its scholars added the caveat that, if local custom requires that women do housework, then, they can be expected to do housework.

You don't want to know why scholars decided women don't have to do housework, though . . . That's a whole nother can of worms.

Edited June 16, 2009 by Sofiyya

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

i have no problem with a maid, as long as she's dressed like this

Charles! B)