why dont people get how stressful this is

[tomaranshabibti 0]

this is a bit of a gripe, but does anyone else just get tired of explaining how stressful this is to people???? I know that I have just stop explaining why I'm tired or why I just dont want to socialise that much. :angry: :angry: I mean, i'm immigrating, moving and getting married. there are times when you just want to break down in floods of tears or other times when you just zone out and go quiet, stare into space. I have weeks and months of restless sleep because my mind wont stop working even though my body is tired. I stood in Safeway/Somerfields on Thursday night completley confused and wanting to cry because I couldnt find the Turkey Kabanos!!lol seriously.

I often try to break down how it feels to folk to be leaving here to go there, but they dont get it. Either they think I will miss England ( which in all honesty I wont) or they think its a financial issue, or wonder if i'm making the right decision considering that I havent spent 10 years dating the guy before marrying him. :blink: :blink: It all just makes me wanna go ....AAAAAAAAAArgh. I understand how this process is hard to understand if you have never done it, but seriously if they knew how difficult this was do they think we would do this on a whim.

I'm a strong person, I can handle all of this, its just a little frustrating.

Can anyone share what they have experienced when telling friends about the process, or have you just given up???? Anyone got a solution to it?

Please take time to share it could help someone.

thanks

primaandjay

Makes you wonder if they ask just to ask or really listening at all .I get the same questions from same damn people over and over.I say 10 years is plenty I find it easiest to keep it simple answers ,simple for stupid I call it and grin to myself for the struggles and happiness all this has and the strength it's taught me as well.My guy (Tomaran) wrote something down for me long ago 9 months "No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen... The love of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each others worth. He was right then and he is now Year 3 and he is on is way home. So hang in there love and know this is your life you will be living No One can can determine what will make you happy and it is obvious it's him.All the luck in the world to you and your love .

[flutter95 4]

I used to get frustrated hearing the same people ask me the same questions. I would explain it to them in simple terms ("we've been approved for the first step but waiting on the next, will take a few months") but a few weeks later, they'd ask me if I have a visa yet. In the end, I just stuck to shorter answers.

I've also had the people that are shocked to hear how you met online and get questions like "so what do your parents think of that?" with a disgusted expression, or "how old were you when you met for real then?"

In fact, the IO processing the K1 at POE the other day first asked me how old I was, and then said he thought I was too young to be getting married. I tried really hard to keep my mouth shut (just told him we'd known each other for 6.5 years so it's not rushed) but in reality, I wanted to tell him that his personal opinion isn't needed, and that perhaps if the US government allowed unmarried visas, we wouldn't be here yet.

My advice is to try and shrug it off. I know it's hard, but at the end of the day, it only hurts you... remember that there are people that REALLY understand and those that just want a quick answer. GIve them that, and then move on.. you know what you're doing, that's all that matters.

I have my POE IO ask me the same thing!! I gave him my paperwork and sat down and then when he was done he called me up and discussed some paperwork/K1 stuff I already knew, and then he asked me how old I was. I told him and he shock his head and said I was too young to be getting married. Uh, thanks for that but your opinion is not required and what, do you think after all the money and months of stress and waiting that I would get to the POE (after a looong flight) and be like, oh, my goodness, yes I am too young! lol

The immigration process and people I know are useless. I do not really tell them much about it, its just too much trouble. My mother in law is awesome - she gets it and lived it with me! but others do not understand. Now that I am in my third stage (removing conditions) I speak with some USC's about it who really do not understand the process, the cost and the wait cause I am married to a USC so it should be automatic! I wish.

[TracyTN 237]

Joe Q. Public's ignorance about the process IS staggering. I suppose they've just never 'had' to learn it. But even at that, how they can think someone can just hop on a plane - or get here and never have to fill out another bit of paper - is just ignorance personified. LOL.