how many people cancel their petition...more info inside...

[bhajishah 4]

I think intercultural marriages are lasting because of respect for the differences, and not caring what society thinks and making a loving go of it and working through things. Problem with American society,both men and women, we have a society of whiners and victims. A selfish place, so easy to toss away and get new. the card chasers they will be gone sooner than later usually within 3 yrs, which is a minority of the whole

[Danu 19]

I think intercultural marriages are lasting because of respect for the differences, and not caring what society thinks and making a loving go of it and working through things. Problem with American society,both men and women, we have a society of whiners and victims. A selfish place, so easy to toss away and get new. the card chasers they will be gone sooner than later usually within 3 yrs, which is a minority of the whole

I do agree to this, we have to work so much harder than a lot of couples who live in the same town to keep our relationships alive. If we didnt learn to communicate better the relationships would just die. I was with someone for 3.5 years and I knew less about him in that time than I know now about my fiance. But I attribute that more to the fact we are both more open than anything else.

[scandal 951]

I think intercultural marriages are lasting because of respect for the differences, and not caring what society thinks and making a loving go of it and working through things. Problem with American society,both men and women, we have a society of whiners and victims. A selfish place, so easy to toss away and get new. the card chasers they will be gone sooner than later usually within 3 yrs, which is a minority of the whole

While I understand where you're coming from, can't you see that this also is a sweeping generalization about America?

YES. There are whiners and victims here. And yes there are selfish people here.

There are also selfless people, those who volunteer, who contribute. Who work in soup kitchens and homeless shelters. Who risk their lives as fire fighters and paramedics. Who tirelessly organize voter registration drives and urban renewal projects. Who sing and dance and paint and compose and support the arts. Who cycle and rollerblade and enjoy our natural outdoors. The American work ethic and community spirit is alive and well -- every bit as much as its selfish and materialistic nature is alive and well. Both these things have always been true in American culture. Both these things are just part of human nature, everywhere and at all times.

Why do people, no matter what their motives, INSIST on sweeping and unfair generalizations?

[iLoveAPolishGirl 0]

This whole thread, besides being taken totally off topic, has become so offensive I find it hard to believe the moderators haven't closed it!

What an insulting and demeaning collection of hate filled rhetoric by certain posters! You should be ashamed!!

dvc

Edited June 14, 2009 by iLoveAPolishGirl

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

referencing sizes isnt very cool. I'm above a size 14 and my fiance loves me just the way I am, to him I am the most beautiful in the whole world. For your personal tastes you might not but please try to refrain from comments about sizes and such, not all of us are perfect in body shape and size, whether we are American or not.

I'm not American but probably one of the closest to being American by proximity, but I personally enjoy dressing up, wearing high heels, getting manicures, cooking and would love to do the stay at home mom thing. But thats me personally. I have a friend who is from the Ukrain, and she wants to be a doctor, doesnt want kids and thinks her husband (who brought her to Canada) should cook for her, which he would love to do, he is all for taking care of her. Each person is different and generalizations about them, man or woman, based on where they are from is just silly.

I am glad you love your wife as much as you do, and that you value her and treat her just the way she wants to be treated, but please try to keep in mind that there are some people who love the ones you can't stand and that your comments, as true as they may be to you, are hurtful to others and really have no bearing on some of the posts you have posted them on. You give so much good information but sometimes it is hidden under hurtful words of sarcasm that make your message get lost.

I did enjoy your pun at the end though

Excellent post, Danu.

I speak as an American guy (who grew up in Canada and is dual US/Can in fact) who happens to be betrothed to a Thai woman. The sentiment Gary expresses regarding American women is all too common in my view. In the same way that he would likely take great exception to generalizations of Ukrainian women (e.g. "they're all gold-diggers", "they're all out to grab a Green card"), I can't understand why he is willing to publicly make such sweeping and broad generalizations about American women.

Gary- presumably you have American women amongst your friends and family. You have perhaps a mother, sisters, daughters, coworkers? I know you have a daughter in law, you just announced the birth of your new grandchild. Congratulations on that wonderful event. Is your American DIL (assuming she is American) also part of your sweeping generalization? Is she also lazy and materialistic and unattractive? I doubt your son thinks so.

I've read equally unfair generalizations about Thai and other Asian women on VJ - that they are gold-diggers, green-card brides, etc. No doubt there are such people in Philippines, Thailand, China, and other countries. There are such people from EVERY country. And there are also wonderful, kind, generous women (and men) from every country. My Thai fiancee is a wonderful and warm and funny and caring and hardworking person. We have loads of fun together. I'm with her for those reasons. If she had happened to be American or Canadian or whatever, then so be it.

There have been so many threads on VJ regarding these stereotypes. It really gets quite tedious to see them trucked out again and again.

Although I clearly said "I could say about American women...but it isn't true..." No one gets the demonstration of ridiculousness by being ridiculous. The point WAS, another woman referred to my wife as a #######, and it gets glossed over, yet refer to a woman's dress size and a person is terrible. Very strange. Even though it seems more acceptable here, I simply will not, now, or in the future refer to wives as whores, no matter where they are from and I will accept the public scorn for not doing so.

That it is OK for some others here has no affect on me.

[Danu 19]

I didn't say you were terribly Gary, and I appologize, I guess I missed the post about someone referring to your wife as a #######, which isnt cool at all either. No one at all should be judged by such horrible stereotypes, including that person assuming that you just wanted someone who would spread em (though I'm sure you like that she does...for you ) but that definately does NOT make her or anyone else a #######.

[scandal 951]

Although I clearly said "I could say about American women...but it isn't true..." No one gets the demonstration of ridiculousness by being ridiculous. The point WAS, another woman referred to my wife as a #######, and it gets glossed over, yet refer to a woman's dress size and a person is terrible. Very strange. Even though it seems more acceptable here, I simply will not, now, or in the future refer to wives as whores, no matter where they are from and I will accept the public scorn for not doing so.

That it is OK for some others here has no affect on me.

Gary, your response strikes me as being in the "two wrongs make a right" department. Namely, you perceive that someone insulted your wife, so you take that as license to character assassinate others. I'm familiar with your views of American women. You're entitled to your views. And to expressing them. But if you do express them, be prepared to have people who are offended by your views challenge them. Free speech goes both ways. I stand by what I said above as well. You've made comments that are hurtful to many, and you don't see to care. Given that you seem to be an intelligent and otherwise caring person, I am confused by this attitude.

Here is the citation to which you took offense. As I read it, the n00b poster "Lost in Egypt 4 u" is just a twit who is far more shallow and clueless than you are. The dignified thing to do is ignore him(her). The reference to ####### is not directed specifically at you, it's targeted to all "American men". By that standard I suppose I should be equally insulted. I'm not. I just shrug it off as a lame posting from a n00b who should take rooster's advice and stfu. (rooster pegged it spot on - good call, brother Rooster )

As soon as those women from the Ukrain get americanized they r no better.

I am not American either and i know !!!!

American men want it all ......they want a women that cookes ,cleans and is a good ####### .

Well he will get that in a ukrainien women until she has her green card then she will be by by !!!

U can;t have it all american men!!!!!!!!!!!! It just does not work!!!!! LOL LOL LOL

If you were nicer to the american ones u could be happy as well !

Your comments on this are inappropriate and out of line. To generalize ANY culture or sex is WRONG. So, why don't you just STFU!!!!!

[missmissy 38]

I promise. I will leave American women alone.

And I am sure you never felt the need to critisize American men. That kinda goes without saying, but thanks anyway.

I have no hesitation in saying my wife is a "prize possession", a very rare breed, and to me, the ONLY beautiful woman in the world. I am the luckiest man in the world and tell her so every day.

Aren't you clever.

Anyway I was just sharing my opinion about a school of thought that I see frequently on VJ--not specifically this thread, but I felt like it was going there--and wasn't directly targeting you. If anything the guy who said "I don't want another spoiled American brat" whose name I'm not going to bother looking for was the guy who irritated me. But then again so did the person who reacted to the baiting by calling Ukrainian women whores

I was reacting to how many times on VJ I have seen American men whine about how crappy American women are. For example, this whole adorable conversation you're having about how "marrying an American girl" is a statistically horrible fate and you'd rather be gay.. L-O-L! I've never seen American women on here complain about American men in a similar way.

Obviously none of the Americans in here are going to marry other Americans, whether by design or by coincidence, but it's still upsetting to see you talking about HALF of America the way you do, the female half.

No, American women are not going to complain about American men like that. As I said, why would they?

And while living in Ukraine absolutely cured me of the habit of American women (cold turkey!!) To me they just aren't even an option, so great and wonderful is the difference. I have never referred to anyone's wife as a "#######" it seems to upset you less than referring to women as "spoiled brats" Very strange. In my opinion, the two names are not the same. American women ARE, very often, spoiled brats. I could be really rude and say that American women are only good for rock throwing targets...but it isn't true. At the average dress size 14 in the USA, they aren't challenging enough for that!

I thoroughly enjoyed living in a culture without feminism (to my wife "feminism" is high heels and stockings, manicures and pretty dresses) and rampant litigation for every conceivable mishap from a car accident to a broken nail. Why not go back? Well, we do! We still own property there. But, in our house anyway, Here or there, there is no confusion about men and women and what their roles are in life. We agree entirely. And yes, I am extremely proud of my wife, from her acedemic acheivements to her artistic abilties to her stunning beauty. Yes, I think she is the most beautiful woman on earth and I am the luckiest man. And to be clear, I wasn't even "shopping", here, there or anywhere, when we met by accident in a country foreign to both of us.

I am really angered by all the generalizations going on in this thread... please lay off the women, whether they are Ukrainian, American, or Icelandic.

Why do you hate Icelandic women?

I found them to be very "cold"

I'm usually a BIG fan of yours and the calm, cool and collected things you write and your smart and savy answers to questions. This is not typical of you. I think just about everyone that reads your posts, looks at your signature and sees all the pictures of Alla knows how deeply in love you are. Why do you want to pick on us American women and our dress sizes today when we are ALL really happy for you and the love and happiness you so obviously have found?

I'm still a fan though, I generally like and agree with what you write, just not about this

[emmaline_g 2]

No, American women are not going to complain about American men like that. As I said, why would they?

I really hope you're being sarcastic. So in your viewpoint, there are many things to complain about in regards to American women, but American men are perfect, especially ones named Gary who are married to Ukrainian women. OK have fun with that.

There are many imperfect things about American men and women alike, but it just looks petty and bitter when you judge all by the actions of some, especially in a country like America which is so geographically and socially vast.

I have never referred to anyone's wife as a "#######" it seems to upset you less than referring to women as "spoiled brats" Very strange. In my opinion, the two names are not the same. American women ARE, very often, spoiled brats. I could be really rude and say that American women are only good for rock throwing targets...but it isn't true. At the average dress size 14 in the USA, they aren't challenging enough for that!

Oh, brother. It wasn't the namecalling or the name used, it was the generalization and stereotypes that annoyed me, both from you and from the other poster who retaliated by bashing Ukrainian women.

And here we go, "American women are fat." What size are you, Gary? Get over yourself. Size has nothing to do with this. I'm a repulsive American girl and I'm a size zero I also forgot that American men are never fat.

Nobody asked you if you liked your wife. That is abundantly clear. And while I applaud you, you do not need to prove how much your love your wife by bashing everything that's not her or the culture that birthed her.

If someone called your wife a ####### I am sorry, but I never claimed that was acceptable and I certainly did not see it on initiial reading.

I am glad you love your wife as much as you do, and that you value her and treat her just the way she wants to be treated but please try to keep in mind that there are some people who love the ones you can't stand and that your comments, as true as they may be to you, are hurtful to others and really have no bearing on some of the posts you have posted them on. You give so much good information but sometimes it is hidden under hurtful words of sarcasm that make your message get lost.

I agree with everything you said.

...I can't understand why he is willing to publicly make such sweeping and broad generalizations about American women.

Gary- presumably you have American women amongst your friends and family. You have perhaps a mother, sisters, daughters, coworkers? I know you have a daughter in law, you just announced the birth of your new grandchild. Congratulations on that wonderful event. Is your American DIL (assuming she is American) also part of your sweeping generalization? Is she also lazy and materialistic and unattractive? I doubt your son thinks so.

...

There have been so many threads on VJ regarding these stereotypes. It really gets quite tedious to see them trucked out again and again.

Bravo bravo

Edited June 14, 2009 by emmaline_g

[missmissy 38]

Back in November, in response to a thread a lot like this one, I posted an ad for my ex-husband. Guess it's time to post it again. I don't believe in bashing anyone, american or otherwise and please remember, I posted this all in fun, as I do now.

GOOD OLD SOUTHERN BOY (man) AVAILABLE AND READY FOR YOU!

My exhusband is lonely and needs a new woman in his life! He is a little overweight (think cuddly teddy bear!), he's 54 (but, really a YOUNG 54) and he is a lot of fun. If you like Jesus, huntin, fishin, drinkin, gamblin and goin to see his mama on the weekends (not necessarily in that order), this is the man for you! His priorities are his church, his mama, his hunting club, his drinking buddies, his children and....yes indeed, there's room for you! He doesn't work but that just means he has more time for you when YOU get home from work. Really ladies, you don't know what you are missing.....

PM me if you are interested. Serious inquiries only please!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Although I clearly said "I could say about American women...but it isn't true..." No one gets the demonstration of ridiculousness by being ridiculous. The point WAS, another woman referred to my wife as a #######, and it gets glossed over, yet refer to a woman's dress size and a person is terrible. Very strange. Even though it seems more acceptable here, I simply will not, now, or in the future refer to wives as whores, no matter where they are from and I will accept the public scorn for not doing so.

That it is OK for some others here has no affect on me.

Gary, your response strikes me as being in the "two wrongs make a right" department. Namely, you perceive that someone insulted your wife, so you take that as license to character assassinate others. I'm familiar with your views of American women. You're entitled to your views. And to expressing them. But if you do express them, be prepared to have people who are offended by your views challenge them. Free speech goes both ways. I stand by what I said above as well. You've made comments that are hurtful to many, and you don't see to care. Given that you seem to be an intelligent and otherwise caring person, I am confused by this attitude.

Here is the citation to which you took offense. As I read it, the n00b poster "Lost in Egypt 4 u" is just a twit who is far more shallow and clueless than you are. The dignified thing to do is ignore him(her). The reference to ####### is not directed specifically at you, it's targeted to all "American men". By that standard I suppose I should be equally insulted. I'm not. I just shrug it off as a lame posting from a n00b who should take rooster's advice and stfu. (rooster pegged it spot on - good call, brother Rooster )

As soon as those women from the Ukrain get americanized they r no better.

I am not American either and i know !!!!

American men want it all ......they want a women that cookes ,cleans and is a good ####### .

Well he will get that in a ukrainien women until she has her green card then she will be by by !!!

U can;t have it all american men!!!!!!!!!!!! It just does not work!!!!! LOL LOL LOL

If you were nicer to the american ones u could be happy as well !

Your comments on this are inappropriate and out of line. To generalize ANY culture or sex is WRONG. So, why don't you just STFU!!!!!

Hey, I don't deny American women have nothing interesting to offer for me. I am entitled to my opinion. And yes, the n00b lets her own post speak for herself which is why I do not run off whining to moderators. In fact, I hope they DON'T remove it as it is a testament to her irrelevence. My posts, the ones not intended as obviously humorous were sarcastic comparisons which apparently offended with sonic booms while zooming overhead. If that is the case I apologize.

Back in November, in response to a thread a lot like this one, I posted an ad for my ex-husband. Guess it's time to post it again. I don't believe in bashing anyone, american or otherwise and please remember, I posted this all in fun, as I do now.

GOOD OLD SOUTHERN BOY (man) AVAILABLE AND READY FOR YOU!

My exhusband is lonely and needs a new woman in his life! He is a little overweight (think cuddly teddy bear!), he's 54 (but, really a YOUNG 54) and he is a lot of fun. If you like Jesus, huntin, fishin, drinkin, gamblin and goin to see his mama on the weekends (not necessarily in that order), this is the man for you! His priorities are his church, his mama, his hunting club, his drinking buddies, his children and....yes indeed, there's room for you! He doesn't work but that just means he has more time for you when YOU get home from work. Really ladies, you don't know what you are missing.....

PM me if you are interested. Serious inquiries only please!

Missy. Look, if it doesn't work out with Alla and I, I might get back to you for his phone number.

[scandal 951]

Back in November, in response to a thread a lot like this one, I posted an ad for my ex-husband. Guess it's time to post it again. I don't believe in bashing anyone, american or otherwise and please remember, I posted this all in fun, as I do now.

GOOD OLD SOUTHERN BOY (man) AVAILABLE AND READY FOR YOU!

My exhusband is lonely and needs a new woman in his life! He is a little overweight (think cuddly teddy bear!), he's 54 (but, really a YOUNG 54) and he is a lot of fun. If you like Jesus, huntin, fishin, drinkin, gamblin and goin to see his mama on the weekends (not necessarily in that order), this is the man for you! His priorities are his church, his mama, his hunting club, his drinking buddies, his children and....yes indeed, there's room for you! He doesn't work but that just means he has more time for you when YOU get home from work. Really ladies, you don't know what you are missing.....

PM me if you are interested. Serious inquiries only please!

Funny (sad?) thing is ... there is no shortage of women who would consider your "ex", as described, to be a real "catch".

[missmissy 38]

Missy. Look, if it doesn't work out with Alla and I, I might get back to you for his phone number.

You made me laugh out loud!! Thanks, you redeemed yourself!

[scandal 951]

Hey, I don't deny American women have nothing interesting to offer for me. I am entitled to my opinion. And yes, the n00b lets her own post speak for herself which is why I do not run off whining to moderators. In fact, I hope they DON'T remove it as it is a testament to her irrelevence. My posts, the ones not intended as obviously humorous were sarcastic comparisons which apparently offended with sonic booms while zooming overhead. If that is the case I apologize.

Now that sounds much more like the Gary we all know and respect on VJ

[missmissy 38]

Back in November, in response to a thread a lot like this one, I posted an ad for my ex-husband. Guess it's time to post it again. I don't believe in bashing anyone, american or otherwise and please remember, I posted this all in fun, as I do now.

GOOD OLD SOUTHERN BOY (man) AVAILABLE AND READY FOR YOU!

My exhusband is lonely and needs a new woman in his life! He is a little overweight (think cuddly teddy bear!), he's 54 (but, really a YOUNG 54) and he is a lot of fun. If you like Jesus, huntin, fishin, drinkin, gamblin and goin to see his mama on the weekends (not necessarily in that order), this is the man for you! His priorities are his church, his mama, his hunting club, his drinking buddies, his children and....yes indeed, there's room for you! He doesn't work but that just means he has more time for you when YOU get home from work. Really ladies, you don't know what you are missing.....

PM me if you are interested. Serious inquiries only please!

Funny (sad?) thing is ... there is no shortage of women who would consider your "ex", as described, to be a real "catch".

Yeah, I keep hoping he finds someone. I was kind of thinking of hooking him up with tallcoolone, I bet they could teach each other a lot!