Muslims and Public Displays of Affection

[~Jess~ 0]

On my first trip to Egypt Waleed and I didn't have PDA in Cairo. I would ask him about it and he said it just didn't happen there. Then we were taking a walk to the bridge over the Nile and I saw coming from the bridge in the early misty morning a mature man having his arm over a completely veiled women in black. I turned to Waleed and said, "What do you mean it just doesn't happen here he just had his arm over her shoulders holding her to him while walking?" After that Waleed lightened up a little bit but very little. Before marriage he wouldn't let me touch him before his prayer saying only a wife could do this. There was no kissing, hugging or holding hands in public but we could be near each other almost touching. At the embassy I recall he put his arm around me while talking to the lady asking us questions through the plexy glass window and it felt akword because I knew his feelings about PDA, well that whole situation was akword. Right after getting married we were able to link arms and I remember feeling married and proud as Husband and Wife because he would let me touch him now because we would walk with linked arms on one side but we weren't up to holding hands yet in the street. At home he'd let me touch him after he washed before prayer and even let me lay his prayer rug down for him which made me happy because he was so touched by it. As the days progressed he eventually put his arm around me again for pictures at the Citadel but there was to be no kissing in public and there still isn't.

Hurghada is a different story. I am told it is considered a sin city because of all the tourists and the premarital sex going on here though they call it adultery. That one had to be explained to me further. You can see many more mixed couples here than in Cairo but you don't see anyone kissing in public. You will see holding hands, or linked arms, or less than modest clothing on some women and maybe stolen kisses when they think no one is looking but I notice something else. It's not just local men and foreign SO's doing this it's the local men and local women too. I recall now sitting in the movie theater in Cairo watching the new Terminator and my Husband not letting me cuddle too much with him in public per usual but seeing various young Muslim couples cuddling and stealing kisses and even grouping in the dark. The theater was spotted with them and I'd point it out to Waleed and he wouldn't say anything about it. It goes on here as well maybe in less crowded areas under the cover of dark.

After spending time with Waleed's parents he tells me they are conservative parents so I observe them for what is conservative behavior. Maybe it is like someone said they don't show affection to each other in the company of others. Waleed considers himself a moderate though from some of your descriptions I think he is more on the conservative side. Maybe he will lighten up in America I don't know? Behind the closed doors he is intimate but in public well I've just got him to the holding hands stage and just last week he actually gave me a very quick hug more like me hugging him before he had to catch a ride to work.

On the television there is something else I may make a comment on which confuses me. On the 8 english movie channels I have out of the 900 sattilite channels we get I have observed that they edit out all the love scenes or nude scenes. That goes for a couple hugging, to a couple kissing, to a couple making love, or just showing a nude body in any way shape or form and this is at all hours on these channels even during safe harbor hours. Sometimes the movie doesn't make any sense when they edit these scenes out but I understand that culturally they do this here. But on arabic movie channels you'll get kissing, you'll get flirting such as running and holding hands on the beach and playing, and you'll get half naked lebanese stars and their half dressed hunks making googly eyes? These movies aren't new either, some of them are older from the 50's-70's and you've got belly dancing scenes going on in the desert like with the bedoiun tribal scenes. One night I got really bored and explored all 900 channels and found around 200 Euro trash and Arab sex channels with full nudity in the 400 and up level and this coming after Egypt just made porn illegal. I have no idea how they will control that. Then there was about 400 Islamic and Christian programming channels to match that adequately and make up for it. The rest were a dabble of fashion channels, english movie channels, news programming channels, but overwhelmingly entertainment channels from the ameture to professional singers. They love to sing here and it doesn't matter if they sound good or not. Even reciting the quran sounds like singing. When the call for the prayer goes off five times a day it sounds like singing and they are having a singing competition all over the place.

First i tottttallly get what you mean about all the smut on our satilite dishes. porn has been illegal here for many many moons im assuming and we still have hundreds of arab smut channels and eureopean smut.

second, as far as the movies go with things being edited on the english movies etc, it is #######. And yes on the arabic movie channels, mbc1 and the mbc4 shows that are in arabic they let it happen...most of them are turkish or syrian actors and actresses not lebanese-not saying there arent any lebanese out there like that but its not the majority. we watched a series last summer that was like this and it was mostly turkish actors and they had filmed in paris or italy mostly. some in turkey itself.

third, i think the pda issue is more about their nationality then their religion. George is Christian and we dont really pda, holding hands while crossing the street and a peck in the airport. i am the one that would lean to kiss him in the airport leaving or coming...finally he just gave in. when we were in the states pda wasnt an issue for us but once we moved to lebanon it was a no no. most couples in his family seem very cold to each other but i know this isnt the case. George may be the coldest in private then the rest of his male family members and friends--just a personality trait i think.

[caybee 21]

My husband was the one in his family who would move the satellite dish and change the settings. He'd put in codes for European channels so they could watch the sports, but then he would have to go through and delete all the smut channels so nobody would call them up by accident. There's so much more available for free there than there is here, and it seems to be a lot more difficult to screen for it.

When I was there, we watched a horror move of some kind, "Anaconda," I think. At one point in the movie, a man and woman were alone just talking in the same room, and my husband sent his 17-year-old sister and the younger nieces and nephew out of the room just in case it went farther than talking. He said it was better to be safe, and that if those kids saw a glimpse something on a movie he was showing to them, they'd never look at him the same way again.

Even yesterday, when my parents and sister came over for dinner and we watched some funny YouTube videos afterward, if ANYTHING popped up that was even slightly suggestive, my husband would turn it off for fear of embarrassing my dad in particular. This included a video of a guy holding a cat, turning it around to the camera, and shaking the cat's backside like it was dancing. I know my dad's sense of humor, and that sort of thing wouldn't have bothered him; in fact, if they were the same age, they'd probably have very similar ideas of what is funny. But I appreciate the respect my husband shows my dad (and his own as well).

[Sandrila 1]

Public displays of any kind THERE, NO

In the home in front of family, NO

out in public hand holding and arms around each other THERE, fine

no kissing or hanging all over each other

HERE

he is fine with it and will indulge in it, without looking over his shoulder

It is hard for him to believe that we are as open as we are but there are still TV shows on TV and commercials that make him blush and if certain topics are addressed on some of the childrens' sitcoms he will leave the room. He is very shy about what should be seen or discussed when children and parents are in front of each other. For us we don't even pay attention. For him, he squirms.

[Sandrila 1]

We have a couple who goes at it at night and the whole neighborhood can hear them.

It is one thing to live in an apt and occasionally you hear something going on, it is another thing to be aware that others can hear you all around and people complain and you continue on.

Big shocker to hubby when he heard to what degree this couple could be heard and how disrespectful and classless this couple was being. Kids even gathered around, 20 deep, just to listen and mock them.

We had to feel as though we had to go in so we didn't have to hear them carrying on.

My hubby said you know what if that happened in my country (he has NEVER EVER heard it like that) the person would throw a rock at/thru their window and you better believe a crazy person may even go up there with a knife and threaten them to knock it off

I told him even though you think Americans are open and accepting about everything, good..decent people (most) are not going to tolerate that and would be very put out having to over hear someone's private escapades

[caybee 21]

We have a couple who goes at it at night and the whole neighborhood can hear them.

It is one thing to live in an apt and occasionally you hear something going on, it is another thing to be aware that others can hear you all around and people complain and you continue on.

Big shocker to hubby when he heard to what degree this couple could be heard and how disrespectful and classless this couple was being. Kids even gathered around, 20 deep, just to listen and mock them.

We had to feel as though we had to go in so we didn't have to hear them carrying on.

My hubby said you know what if that happened in my country (he has NEVER EVER heard it like that) the person would throw a rock at/thru their window and you better believe a crazy person may even go up there with a knife and threaten them to knock it off

I told him even though you think Americans are open and accepting about everything, good..decent people (most) are not going to tolerate that and would be very put out having to over hear someone's private escapades

Thankfully, we've never heard anything like that through the wall. We do have a very loud snorer living next door, and my husband gets a good laugh out of that.

What bothers me more is that, probably because I'm pregnant, I notice people using loud, foul language in public all the time now, in the checkout line at the grocery store, in the parking lot of the apartment complex, just about any public place. I won't want the kid exposed to that kind of language every time we go shopping, and I'm sure my husband won't be shy about saying something to someone if it happens when he's out with the baby. Movies and television don't bother me nearly as much because I have control over those and because there's a time and a place for some things. But out shopping in public during the daytime is neither the time nor the place.

[rclouse 0]

My MIL stayed with us for nearly 6 months helping us out with our new baby. When I took her back home two and a half weeks ago, my FIL didn't even kiss her and barely hugged her. But there were tears in their eyes.

/still thinks modesty like that is ridiculous

[Nothing1234 2]

My MIL stayed with us for nearly 6 months helping us out with our new baby. When I took her back home two and a half weeks ago, my FIL didn't even kiss her and barely hugged her. But there were tears in their eyes.

/still thinks modesty like that is ridiculous

[caybee 21]

When we picked my sister up at the Charlotte airport a few days ago, my husband spotted a young couple greeting each other with a very long hug. He pointed them out to me and said, "Look how happy they are to see each other," and he kept staring at them and smiling the whole time. That sort of thing doesn't embarrass him -- he has a soft heart for it. He kissed me on the lips (briefly) at our wedding here, though he said that's unusual in Morocco, and he thought he might be too shy to do that in front of my dad. A female cousin of his married an American man in Morocco, and the groom kissed the bride on the lips in front of everyone, which elicited an audible gasp from the onlookers, but my husband thought it was cute. I may have said this before, but when we first started talking about maybe having kids, he said we shouldn't hug and kiss in front of the kids because his parents didn't, but I think his view has changed on that, and we both think it's healthy to demonstrate affection for each other in front of the kid (within reason; a peck on the lips at most). I always had a very secure feeling when I saw my parents holding hands or curled up on the sofa together watching a movie.

[Nothing1234 2]

When we picked my sister up at the Charlotte airport a few days ago, my husband spotted a young couple greeting each other with a very long hug. He pointed them out to me and said, "Look how happy they are to see each other," and he kept staring at them and smiling the whole time. That sort of thing doesn't embarrass him -- he has a soft heart for it. He kissed me on the lips (briefly) at our wedding here, though he said that's unusual in Morocco, and he thought he might be too shy to do that in front of my dad. A female cousin of his married an American man in Morocco, and the groom kissed the bride on the lips in front of everyone, which elicited an audible gasp from the onlookers, but my husband thought it was cute. I may have said this before, but when we first started talking about maybe having kids, he said we shouldn't hug and kiss in front of the kids because his parents didn't, but I think his view has changed on that, and we both think it's healthy to demonstrate affection for each other in front of the kid (within reason; a peck on the lips at most). I always had a very secure feeling when I saw my parents holding hands or curled up on the sofa together watching a movie.

*Sigh* Me tooo!!

My parents were very in love and it showed. My Dad was a true romantic and its was amazing to watch. When he passed away in April of this year I found my mothers old drivers license and work ID in his wallet along with their wedding pic and the last picture they took together before she died in 2001. I'm tearing up right now thinking about it...sometimes people do find their soulmates. I think that was my parents and I was blessed to witness it. Hugs, kisses and all.

Edited June 15, 2009 by Nawal

[caybee 21]

When we picked my sister up at the Charlotte airport a few days ago, my husband spotted a young couple greeting each other with a very long hug. He pointed them out to me and said, "Look how happy they are to see each other," and he kept staring at them and smiling the whole time. That sort of thing doesn't embarrass him -- he has a soft heart for it. He kissed me on the lips (briefly) at our wedding here, though he said that's unusual in Morocco, and he thought he might be too shy to do that in front of my dad. A female cousin of his married an American man in Morocco, and the groom kissed the bride on the lips in front of everyone, which elicited an audible gasp from the onlookers, but my husband thought it was cute. I may have said this before, but when we first started talking about maybe having kids, he said we shouldn't hug and kiss in front of the kids because his parents didn't, but I think his view has changed on that, and we both think it's healthy to demonstrate affection for each other in front of the kid (within reason; a peck on the lips at most). I always had a very secure feeling when I saw my parents holding hands or curled up on the sofa together watching a movie.

*Sigh* Me tooo!!

My parents were very in love and it showed. My Dad was a true romantic and its was amazing to watch. When he passed away in April of this year I found my mothers old drivers licence and work ID in his wallet along with their wedding pic and the last picture they took together before she died in 2001. I'm tearing up right now thinking about it...sometimes people do find their soulmates. I think that was my parents and I was blessed to witness it. Hugs, kisses and all.

(F)

[Ahmed N Tina 2]

When we picked my sister up at the Charlotte airport a few days ago, my husband spotted a young couple greeting each other with a very long hug. He pointed them out to me and said, "Look how happy they are to see each other," and he kept staring at them and smiling the whole time. That sort of thing doesn't embarrass him -- he has a soft heart for it. He kissed me on the lips (briefly) at our wedding here, though he said that's unusual in Morocco, and he thought he might be too shy to do that in front of my dad. A female cousin of his married an American man in Morocco, and the groom kissed the bride on the lips in front of everyone, which elicited an audible gasp from the onlookers, but my husband thought it was cute. I may have said this before, but when we first started talking about maybe having kids, he said we shouldn't hug and kiss in front of the kids because his parents didn't, but I think his view has changed on that, and we both think it's healthy to demonstrate affection for each other in front of the kid (within reason; a peck on the lips at most). I always had a very secure feeling when I saw my parents holding hands or curled up on the sofa together watching a movie.

*Sigh* Me tooo!!

My parents were very in love and it showed. My Dad was a true romantic and its was amazing to watch. When he passed away in April of this year I found my mothers old drivers license and work ID in his wallet along with their wedding pic and the last picture they took together before she died in 2001. I'm tearing up right now thinking about it...sometimes people do find their soulmates. I think that was my parents and I was blessed to witness it. Hugs, kisses and all.

Annie

When I was in Egypt Ahmed wouldn't hold my hand except to cross the street and never really kissed me unless we were in private. He thought he was being all daring once and kissed me in the lobby of our apartment building. He was ok with arm in arm, but it was hot and that got sweaty.

He let me hug him when he got here at the airport with a kiss on the cheek, but that was it. Since then he's gotten a lot more relaxed and will peck me in public, a little more in the car, walk with his arm around me (usually when he thinks some other guy got too close), will walk arm in arm and will hold my hand, but not for too long.

As for movies, I couldn't figure out why he kept fast forwarding through the "steamy" parts and he didn't really explain it. So I was watching a movie without him, he was studying for his permit in the other room, and didn't fast forward through a part with bare shoulders in it (granted, it was implied she was naked and he was getting that way to skinny dip, but only shoulders showed) and he saw it and freaked out on me. That was not a pleasant moment. Makes me less than interested to watch movies with him again unless he has the remote to be all controlling and stuff with it. Told him next time tell me the deal before you hold me to it!

Edited June 15, 2009 by Ahmed N Tina

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I encountered a similar remote control issue with him recently. I was watching the coverage of the Iranian election on BBC World News and he switched the channel in the middle of the enthrawling programming saying he doesn't like lies. Next time I'm sitting on the remote when I'm watching something interesting to me. I'll also hide the remote during movies now too after reading what you said.

Edited June 15, 2009 by ~Flower~

[Ahmed N Tina 2]

Yeah, somehow some day I'll have to figure out how "Marley and Me" ended. I think he was upset that I saw bare flesh, that's the maddest I've seen him get.......at me. I've pretty much given up watching TV now, cause he can't stay on a channel long enough to finish anything anyway, except HDTV, and it really doesn't matter if I'm enjoying it. We both enjoy watching HDTV. Imagine eating popcorn and ice cream to "Property Virgins". How exciting is that!

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Oh be glad you didn't see how Marley and Me ended. I saw it Christmas Day and cried for 45 mins strait. Whoever thought of releasing that one Christmas should be shot! The last thing anyone wants to do is cry on Christmas and be weary with saddness.

[Ahmed N Tina 2]

Oh be glad you didn't see how Marley and Me ended. I saw it Christmas Day and cried for 45 mins strait. Whoever thought of releasing that one Christmas should be shot! The last thing anyone wants to do is cry on Christmas and be weary with saddness.

Is it a new version of Old Yeller? That's horrible. Well, I got to the skinny dipping scene. One day I'll sneak to the GF's house and finish. I'll be sure to bring tissue!