Muslims and Public Displays of Affection

[Sofiyya 1,687]

LOL Nawal that's funny scary but funny....

I think i just wanted to gague how strict ..maybe a peck on the lips would be out in public between husband and wife..or would a peck on the cheek be more acceptable

I understand the whole 1,2,3 min. kisses with or without slobber lol but I just don't see the problem with a peck .. but from what I can tell it is the comfort zone..........

Any Quran verses on this???

My husband and I walk close and hold hands in public. We also sometimes kiss on the lips (nothing French ). My MIL encouraged us to hold hands when we are with her. Living in the ME for extended periods of time, I can say that there are differing practices in different socieites across borders and within borders.

One time, we drew the attention of the police in Rabat when we kissed in public, but they finally laughed and walked away when we explained that we were newlyweds. The Prophet is known to have been appropriately affectionate to his wives in front of others, and was known as a demonstrative man. Arabs are not as dour as we are often depictd to be, and Islam is not shy about sexuality. Affection may be shown with haya in mind.

Forgive my ignorance.... Hay???? please explain

Sure. What do you need me to explain? BTW, the Quran is pretty silent on PDA's. Most of the guidelines come from fiqh.

[MrsAmera 41]

Before kids we held hands, linked arms, and would kiss sometimes. After kids, well our hands were busy! Both of us have commented that we really miss going for walks and holding hands. For my husband his issue is just that he is shy -doesn't go deeper than that for him!

[Rosalinda 0]

I'm sorry sofiyya did not mean to say Hay lol please explain what is haya and now the fiqh guidelines

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I'm sorry sofiyya did not mean to say Hay lol please explain what is haya and now the fiqh guidelines

Haya is a concept that places limits on behavior so that one doesn't do things that cause embarrassment, division, or damage to one's honor. It's a basic character trait in the practice of devout Musims who seek to avoid displeasing Allah.

The Prophet (saw) said: When lewdness is a part of anything, it becomes defective; and when haya is a part of anything it becomes beautiful. [Tirmidhi]

Fiqh is the law formulated through the study of the Quran & Sunnah (sharia), and other sources considered to be part of Islamic precedence. Fiqh can vary, because it also takes into consideration the norms and needs of the society being addressed. The prominent fiqh schools agree more than they disagree on issues, but, they acknowledge that their rulings are from the fallible minds of humans, trying their best to understand the intent of God.

Those are very simple explanations. If you wish to know more, I am happy to address your questions further. Do not apologize for whatyou do not know, for there is no one among us who knows all.

[Aymsgirl 0]

We hold hands and walk arm in arm. We have given lots of kisses in the airport just no slobbery ones. When I would go to EG and come out the door my husband would run to me and almost pick me up and swing me around and kiss me. Here we do the peck kiss. I guess we just aren't shy about our affection. We hug and do peck kisses in front of the kids but my husband did admit that he had never seen his parents show emotion towards each other. I never thought about making another jealous though.

[caybee 21]

overseas its hard to tell who is wives and who is daughters all women walking behind.

He won't let me walk behind. He pushes me slightly in front of him or walks beside me. I think he's afraid I'll get lost. Or dawdle too long

[caybee 21]

We hold hands and walk arm in arm. We have given lots of kisses in the airport just no slobbery ones. When I would go to EG and come out the door my husband would run to me and almost pick me up and swing me around and kiss me. Here we do the peck kiss. I guess we just aren't shy about our affection. We hug and do peck kisses in front of the kids but my husband did admit that he had never seen his parents show emotion towards each other. I never thought about making another jealous though.

I don't think my husband's parents are physically affectionate in front of the family either, though it's obvious that they love each other very much. I'm sure my husband has seen my parents do peck kisses and hold hands in public. I'll follow his lead when we go back to Morocco together, but here, he seems very comfortable doing what my parents do.

Although I've heard about the evil eye and jealousy for a long time, I always thought in terms of someone else's jealousy being damaging to me, but I guess I'd never really thought about it in terms of being responsible for provoking jealousy in someone else and causing difficulty for them. I imagine that's a very basic idea in Islam, but sometimes it takes me a while to get it.

[al-Hubb jameel 0]

When I was in Jordan, we always walked hand in hand, or with his arm around me. But that was it...nothing more allowed in public...even the second time I went and I was so excited to see him at the airport, he let me give him a peck on the cheek and then actually blocked me from throwing my arms around him

As for the evil eye thing, is that the same as saying someone will shoot you with their eye? In his village he never wanted me to go outside alone without him. He said it was because he loves me and he doesn't want som b***ch to shoot me with her eye. Huh??? I didn't understand. I thought it was because I wasn't covered. Although I dressed very modestly I am still very blonde and and very American, and thought that he was trying to tell me that someone might be judging me or feel offended by me. So I offered to wear hjab. He tried to explain to me that it wasn't it, but he wasn't able to find the right words to make me understand. So he got impatient and told me nevermind, let's talk about it later. LOL. A few days later we were in grocery store buying eggs and he was telling the man wow, those eggs are so big....and "POP" one broke right then. Then he told me "see, I shot that egg with my eye. That is what I was talking about".......I still don' t QUITE understand.... but I pretended I did:blush: ...and furthermore, why would it make a difference if I went outside with him?

[CasandraYounes 0]

I noticed the same about my husband's parents. They aren't that affectionate either. In Morocco, if I was with my hubby's family, I would be holding onto his mother or sister's hands whenever we went out with them in public, but we aren't afraid to show are affectionate sometimes either. I remember the first time I went to Morocco and it was my last day we went to go eat breakfast in a restaurant and me not knowing anything my husband kissed me when no one was around. Low and behold the waiter comes around the corner and scolds us and said something to the effect of "this is not a hotel!" LOL OMG.... Just for like 2 pecks and a touch of my face that we thought no one saw, but after being there 4 times, I know what is accepted and respectful.

[Mrs.Bayoumi 0]

The same thing happened to me while in Egypt. Hubby and I were riding in a cab and we were holding hands and the cabbie kept looking at us in the rear view mirror. My husband said something to him in Arabic that I didn't understand. Later he told me he said for the cabbie to keep his eyes to the front that I was his wife. LOL.

Abdo and I were in a cafe in Alex with some of our friends, we were setting close and holding hands i had leaned over to say something to him and the next thing i knew the waiter was freaking out asking abdo please dont kiss or we would have to go

Another time we were setting near the beach across the street from our flat talking and watching the cars go by and we kissed, 2 young guys were crossing the street in front of us and yelled "look he kiss her in the street!!!"... Abdo laughed too hard and just kissed me again.

So he has never been bothered by PDA's when we would kiss at his moms house i noticed she looked a way a bit but would laugh at us

as for the jealous part.... my goodness he is sooooo jealous, thank god some of you have the same issue, granted im jealous too but he is "Egy Jealous"

[Sofiyya 1,687]

People have strange ideas about the evil eye (al Ain), believing that they can bring it on themselves, or others can bring it upon them, but they can't. Allah offers us solace from it, and ways to repel it through prayer, dua, dhikr and proper practice toward others. Muslims are to believe in the protection of Allah from all things, in His ability to triumph over evil, and, in so doing, should not be fearful of the evil eye, but trustful of His power to defend you.

While comfort levels vary among individuals and within societies, including non-Muslim socieites, it's important to remember that Islam and Muslim cultural practices are not always the synonymous. Unfortunately, they are sometimes in opposition to each other because even Muslims can smetimes allow superstition to supercede faith.

[Kenza 1]

The second or third time I met my husband in the airport in Morocco, I went to give him a peck on the lips and he turned his head! I was mad but then we've had lots of discussions about it and now we hold hands or I hold his arm and occasionally we will give each other pecks when we think no one is looking.

[Ihavequestions 419]

People have strange ideas about the evil eye (al Ain), believing that they can bring it on themselves, or others can bring it upon them, but they can't. Allah offers us solace from it, and ways to repel it through prayer, dua, dhikr and proper practice toward others. Muslims are to believe in the protection of Allah from all things, in His ability to triumph over evil, and, in so doing, should not be fearful of the evil eye, but trustful of His power to defend you.

While comfort levels vary among individuals and within societies, including non-Muslim socieites, it's important to remember that Islam and Muslim cultural practices are not always the synonymous. Unfortunately, they are sometimes in opposition to each other because even Muslims can smetimes allow superstition to supercede faith.

Exactly.

Either it's Insh'Allah or it's not. There is no in-between.

[Courtney08 0]

Medo and I do not hold hands (unless crossing a street) Nor do we kiss out in the street. We are talking about a man who never even seen his parents kiss

My husband said the same thing. My parents never even touched one another in front of anyone.

The first few trips we were very mindfull of others, no kissing, no holding hands, no googley eyes, and basicly i was fine with that.

**holding hands only when crossing street and maybe touching when taking a photo but NOT ANY OTHER TIME**

This last two trips he has lightened up a bit.

As a matter of fact in March at the citadel his sister was taking a photo for us and he turned and kissed me. LOL, I thought she was going to have a heart attack on the spot she said A7mad we are in public.

The trip in May he actually kissed me in the airport, and two other occasions in public but never when it was crowded and always in spots that it was touristy...

I am thinking that in combination with how he was raised his mother is Egyptian and very serious about others being jealous and thinking ill things on us.

I learned about this early in our relationship, that is the evil eye, my husbands brother was in a very bad car accident directly before we met and this was the family expanation.

I just roll with my husbands lead, if we are somewhere and he is slightly distant I dont think anything of it, and if he is wanting to be close and hold hands or show me affection in public I really get happy because I realize he is going out of his way for me.

Edited June 13, 2009 by Courtney n Ahmad

[Rosalinda 0]

I'm sorry sofiyya did not mean to say Hay lol please explain what is haya and now the fiqh guidelines

Haya is a concept that places limits on behavior so that one doesn't do things that cause embarrassment, division, or damage to one's honor. It's a basic character trait in the practice of devout Musims who seek to avoid displeasing Allah.

The Prophet (saw) said: When lewdness is a part of anything, it becomes defective; and when haya is a part of anything it becomes beautiful. [Tirmidhi]

Fiqh is the law formulated through the study of the Quran & Sunnah (sharia), and other sources considered to be part of Islamic precedence. Fiqh can vary, because it also takes into consideration the norms and needs of the society being addressed. The prominent fiqh schools agree more than they disagree on issues, but, they acknowledge that their rulings are from the fallible minds of humans, trying their best to understand the intent of God.

Those are very simple explanations. If you wish to know more, I am happy to address your questions further. Do not apologize for whatyou do not know, for there is no one among us who knows all.

Thank You Sofiyya for your explanation you answered me perfectly.