Muslims and Public Displays of Affection

[Nothing1234 2]

We hold hands or link arms when in public, and will hug goodbye in an airport, but anything beyond that is a no no.

As for the reason why islamically, it's a matter of haya, modesty/shyness. These are intimate acts between a husband and a wife and aren't something that should take place in front of other people. We also shouldn't be boastful of the good we have, and if we have a good relationship with our spouse that we demonstrate in public by being over affectionate, it could lead others to be jealous.

I agree it's a matter of modesty. My husband always holds my hand when crossing the street. I think one time he held my hand for a little while after, but that might have been because we were in a very crowded area and he didn't want me lost in the crows. We don't do PDAs. Ever.

But you brought up a point that I don't understand ... Egyptians and jealousy. Does anyone have a way to explain that to me?

This question is the one I'm referring to...not Rahma's jealousy point. Which was clear enough. I think

[caybee 21]

He's Muslim and I'm not, but we'll hold hands or link arms. Sometimes he'll walk with his arm around my shoulders. If we're saying goodbye in the parking lot, we might have a very quick kiss on the lips, but nothing more than that (but I was never fond of a lot of PDA anyway). We recently attended an expo put on by local Muslims representing several countries (not very large, but for our city, it was a good start), and I followed his lead as far as how close to stand to each other, etc, especially since he knew some of the men there. During talks and demonstrations, he would stand elbow to elbow with me, and he'd lean over to speak to me. I didn't notice even that much physical contact or proximity between the Muslim couples, though; the men generally stood with men and the women with women.

[childress_london 3]

I think a lot of this is cultural as well as maybe religious. I can't help you with the Muslim beliefs part, but my husband has no problems with PDA. Hmmm...my answer probably didn't help much. LOL

[caybee 21]

Yes, that's what I meant.

Jealousy is a disease of the heart, and I do not want to be a spark of that disease in another person.

This makes sense, and it's thought provoking. But I do have a question, and I hope I can phrase it right. The times when he and I are sitting across from a table from one another in public, laughing and relaxed and completely engrossed in our conversation with each other but not touching at all, I would think that sort of behavior might provoke at least as much jealousy in some people as slobbery PDA might. I imagine, though, that even that much public interaction between a couple would be less common in some traditions also, perhaps for that reason?

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Yes, that's what I meant.

Jealousy is a disease of the heart, and I do not want to be a spark of that disease in another person.

This makes sense, and it's thought provoking. But I do have a question, and I hope I can phrase it right. The times when he and I are sitting across from a table from one another in public, laughing and relaxed and completely engrossed in our conversation with each other but not touching at all, I would think that sort of behavior might provoke at least as much jealousy in some people as slobbery PDA might. I imagine, though, that even that much public interaction between a couple would be less common in some traditions also, perhaps for that reason?

I think that it does depend on the culture. Here in the US, we tend to interact dialed back a few notches for the culture - we talk quietly to one another when in public, and laugh, but not too loud. We try not to seem too completely totally googly eyed and infatuated with each other, happy yes, but not lovey dovey.

In egypt however, we wouldn't laugh out loud in public. Maybe giggle a bit, but laughing and smiling too broadly draws attention.

[Ihavequestions 419]

Interesting - and quite helpful.

I knew the Evil Eye is found in Islam and it goes waaaaaaaaaay back in Egyptian history, pre-Islam. I'm sure, if a good measure is the Evil Eye amulets hanging from the rear view mirrors in taxis, it's wide-spread.

Is my husband a jealous man? Not really. Protective? Sure he is. Religious? VERY. So I can see how he would take it seriously as a Muslim Egyptian in that he wouldn't want other peoples' jealousy to cause problems in his life.

Yeah, this helps explain it to me. I appreciate that. Really, I do.

[Cheryl & Medo 3]

Medo and I do not hold hands (unless crossing a street) Nor do we kiss out in the street. We are talking about a man who never even seen his parents kiss

[Nothing1234 2]

Happy Friday!

Sorry I needed a laugh so I have to add a pic to all the discussion....I found it while searching on photobucket! The title under the pic said it all for me..."Jorge & a public display of affection"...

Have a great weekend everyone!

Why it's best to keep your PDA's to yourself!

[CasandraYounes 0]

My hubby and I always hold hands in public and when we greet each other we kiss, but as for kissing in public we didn't do that in Morocco because my husband told me that they considered it to be disrepectful and that if you had a good relationship others would be jealous. Thus he said maintain a form of "shyness" especially in taxis. I took a taxi once with him and he came close to him ear to tell me something and the man that he was kissing me and scolded us. He thought I was just some girl that was being taken out, not his wife. I almost told him off.

[nurse1967 287]

The same thing happened to me while in Egypt. Hubby and I were riding in a cab and we were holding hands and the cabbie kept looking at us in the rear view mirror. My husband said something to him in Arabic that I didn't understand. Later he told me he said for the cabbie to keep his eyes to the front that I was his wife. LOL.

[sandinista! 1,816]

Happy Friday!

Sorry I needed a laugh so I have to add a pic to all the discussion....I found it while searching on photobucket! The title under the pic said it all for me..."Jorge & a public display of affection"...

Have a great weekend everyone!

Why it's best to keep your PDA's to yourself!

it made me laugh!

have a good weekend with those cute babies.

[amysaid 9]

When I was out with my husband in Egypt we would link arms or hold hands when walking around... but if we were out with his sisters, he would insist on me walking arm in arm with her instead (a respect thing?) and he'd walk with his younger sister, or neice, or whoever. He never kissed me when I got off the plane, but he did kiss me both times I left. The first time rather dramatically, running up the stairs to the airplane door to kiss me when I was about to step onto the aircraft. A couple other times were when we were out, we have a picture of us kissing in front of the sphinx, for example. He wouldn't kiss me in front of his sisters because he was shy, and definitely not out in public if anyone was looking, but as comfortable as he got with it in Egypt while I was there, I think he will be more at ease in the US.

One of my exes was Egyptian and Muslim as well and he would kiss goodbye without a problem, and had no issue with hugs, but he'd been in the US for a few years. He was also a lot more lax about that type of thing than my husband is, so I think there's a lot of variation.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

My husband and I walk close and hold hands in public. We also sometimes kiss on the lips (nothing French ). My MIL encouraged us to hold hands when we are with her. Living in the ME for extended periods of time, I can say that there are differing practices in different socieites across borders and within borders.

One time, we drew the attention of the police in Rabat when we kissed in public, but they finally laughed and walked away when we explained that we were newlyweds. The Prophet is known to have been appropriately affectionate to his wives in front of others, and was known as a demonstrative man. Arabs are not as dour as we are often depictd to be, and Islam is not shy about sexuality. Affection may be shown with haya in mind.

[Rosalinda 0]

LOL Nawal that's funny scary but funny....

I think i just wanted to gague how strict ..maybe a peck on the lips would be out in public between husband and wife..or would a peck on the cheek be more acceptable

I understand the whole 1,2,3 min. kisses with or without slobber lol but I just don't see the problem with a peck .. but from what I can tell it is the comfort zone..........

Any Quran verses on this???

My husband and I walk close and hold hands in public. We also sometimes kiss on the lips (nothing French ). My MIL encouraged us to hold hands when we are with her. Living in the ME for extended periods of time, I can say that there are differing practices in different socieites across borders and within borders.

One time, we drew the attention of the police in Rabat when we kissed in public, but they finally laughed and walked away when we explained that we were newlyweds. The Prophet is known to have been appropriately affectionate to his wives in front of others, and was known as a demonstrative man. Arabs are not as dour as we are often depictd to be, and Islam is not shy about sexuality. Affection may be shown with haya in mind.

Forgive my ignorance.... Hay???? please explain

[bhajishah 4]

overseas its hard to tell who is wives and who is daughters all women walking behind.