I WAS OUT OF THE HOUSE......

[tallcoolone 102]

this might sound harsh but i think you should go home to the philipines. you will be happier there. Forget hooking up with these men on line that think that getting an asian woman is getting some kind of subservient meek asian doll. To be honest alot of them the intent is wrong from the get go, they are little men with little character. you can do better, and you will be happier. Think about whats best for you, you will get married again, you dont need to be demeaned. Move on.

I thought Men got Asian woman cuz they make the best wives, and are beautiful, and tend to retain their petite figures

[childress_london 3]

I think you should seek the advice of a good lawyer. Either way, it's obvious your husband does not love you. You would be better off without him, even if you had to go back home. There are more (and better) fish in the sea!

[Bobby+Umit 161]

My question is HOW WILL IT AFFECT MY STAY HERE, I DON'T HAVE A PROPER DOCUMENTATION AS A LEGAL RESIDENT. WHAT WILL I DO? I AM OUT OF HIS HOUSE NOW....

Without the AOS (via K-1), you have no choice but to go home and divorce this person.

Since your I94 is expired, your currently "out of status" - so your accruing days that would count against you (ban) if you try to come back to the US at a late date - so keep that in the back of your mind.

The only other option you would have is VAWA - Consulting a lawyer would be advisable.

[Ladylethal 12]

Legally wise you must return home as you're out of status since you never filed for your AOS. You can't now file by yourself or using someone else. Plus you've been working prior to having the authorization to do so, which is also illegal.

It appears to me that this was a convenience marriage for both parts in some ways. You become his housewife, he supports your family back home. Without hearing both sounds I won't comment much on it except that seems clear this "marriage" has no future.

I'd just go home and divorce the guy.

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

Speak for yourself

My wife is Asian something I did not go out and look for something that just happen thank God I never married an American women

stereotyping Asian women being meek is far from the truth my wife speaks what on her mind and i commend her for this .

For my self I do spend money home to my wife family being married to a Filipina is just a acceptance and I'm sure allot of other men on-line here do also

But you won't stop stereotyping American women, now would you?

I am sure all the American women are thanking god that you did not marry them either.

[Krikit 1,165]

That is enough with the judgements against the OP. If you are not here to assist in a positive way, then please refrain from posting. Thank you.

(Some posts removed.)

Edited June 8, 2009 by Krikit

[Big Papa Zone 93]

That is enough with the judgements against the OP. If you are not here to assist in a positive way, then please refrain from posting. Thank you.

At last!! I thought this wrist-slapping was never coming! (and sure, no problem )

[Passing.star 0]

Poor thing you! maybe he was thinking because you are well-off in the Phils and educated when you come here, you will be a big investment for him, but he didn't completely finished-off his obligation to you yet by filing AOS so you can get a good job and buy him more drinks and cigarette. I wish you better go back to Phils and be happy with your sons. I am sure you will find wwwwaaaayyyyy better than him in the future.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Is is really common for PI families to send money back home? Is it expected of them? Curious.

Yes. It's also the same in Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia, etc. It's also the same in Mexico, and most of central and south America. This isn't exclusive to foreigners who marry US citizens, but also applies to couples who are both ex-pats. To be honest, many families in those countries would have a hard time surviving if it weren't for the money they receive from family living in the US. You have to see the poverty first hand to really understand. You'd also probably be amazed at how far as little as $100 per month can go in some of these countries. For some families, this would double their monthly income. Having a servant doesn't mean they are wealthy, either. I've seen families in Vietnam pay a neighborhood girl $10 per week to help an old woman keep her house clean every day. Most Americans wouldn't store their garden tools in the homes some of these people live in.

Everybody has a host of reasons for wanting to marry their foreign fiance(e). The only thing each should require of the other is that a sincere love for their partner be high on that list of reasons. If the foreign fiance(e) includes on their list of reasons a desire to improve their lives and the lives of their family, this shouldn't surprise the American fiance(e), nor should it be a reason to end the relationship. In fact, it would be naive of an American to believe that love, and only love, is the reason their foreign fiance(e) wants to marry them. How many Americans could honestly say they have no other reason for marrying but love? Isn't a desire to not be alone also one of their reasons? Are they going to turn down the tax benefits they receive for having a wife, because that wasn't on their list of reasons? As I said, love is the only reasons each should require of the other. Beyond that, everyone has their own reasons.

I don't know all of the details of the OP's case, but going only on what I've read - I think the American husband didn't realize or truly comprehend that we wasn't just marrying his Filipina to have for his own in the US, but he was also marrying into her family. His fiancee/bride apparently made it clear that helping her family was important to her. He should have been happy to drop off a little cash each month at the Western Union. If that was HIS family over there, you can bet he would have been sending money. Why is it different if it's his wife's family? What if his wife's family were Americans living in West Virginia? Would he have been willing to help them?

Sorry, but I get the impression he just wanted his Filipina toy bride, but didn't want any of the baggage that normally comes with getting married.

[DEDixon 39]

Actually, if you go back, you should file for divorce and complete the divorce before you return, because you'll still be married and it will be a lot more difficult to divorce after you leave.

Maybe you can justify your extended stay with the need to complete your divorce? Given the wages in the RP, no matter what job you have, I doubt that job would pay for an American divorce so best to get the divorce before you leave. I say best to get it before you leave, but I'm not sure how USCIS looks at this, anyone?

Depending on the state, you can divorce without your husband's signature.

[sjr09 155]

Speak for yourself

My wife is Asian something I did not go out and look for something that just happen thank God I never married an American women

stereotyping Asian women being meek is far from the truth my wife speaks what on her mind and i commend her for this .

For my self I do spend money home to my wife family being married to a Filipina is just a acceptance and I'm sure allot of other men on-line here do also

But you won't stop stereotyping American women, now would you?

lol good one!

[GheTToJaTTi 0]

Speak for yourself

My wife is Asian something I did not go out and look for something that just happen thank God I never married an American women

stereotyping Asian women being meek is far from the truth my wife speaks what on her mind and i commend her for this .

For my self I do spend money home to my wife family being married to a Filipina is just a acceptance and I'm sure allot of other men on-line here do also

But you won't stop stereotyping American women, now would you?

I am sure all the American women are thanking god that you did not marry them either.

[NQT1976 1]

Well, he might ask her to come back. That would not surprise me at all. He sounds like a total loser. If he does ask you back, and you decide to go back, make sure he takes care of the immigration issue right away.

+1 to that. It is ultimately your decision if you want to stay married to him or not. I think you should both have a conversation about all of the issues going on to try to get things resolved. Finance problems is probably the biggest reason for divorce. He needs to be informed that the longer he waits to file for AOS, the longer it will take for you to legally work. If that means he needs to get a credit card, then he needs to sign up for one.

Did your wife send all her money to Vietnam ? did you in same situation as the husband in story ?

I'm tired of foreign wife not help me anything , just ask money send to their family so they live wealthy in their country and we live here in US work all day like slaved.

I don't know why all of you guys bash the husband ?.

[Ellie-and-David 38]

Well, he might ask her to come back. That would not surprise me at all. He sounds like a total loser. If he does ask you back, and you decide to go back, make sure he takes care of the immigration issue right away.

+1 to that. It is ultimately your decision if you want to stay married to him or not. I think you should both have a conversation about all of the issues going on to try to get things resolved. Finance problems is probably the biggest reason for divorce. He needs to be informed that the longer he waits to file for AOS, the longer it will take for you to legally work. If that means he needs to get a credit card, then he needs to sign up for one.

Did your wife send all her money to Vietnam ? did you in same situation as the husband in story ?

I'm tired of foreign wife not help me anything , just ask money send to their family so they live wealthy in their country and we live here in US work all day like slaved.

I don't know why all of you guys bash the husband ?.

I agree, sometimes there is unacceptable bashing of the husband, expecially when there is only one side of the story being placed on show....HOWEVER.

For me, the fact that this man has left the woman he loves in immigration limbo suggests to me that he is using her current "non" status as a manipulation ploy. I know that AOS is expensive, but it the responsibility of all parties to ensure that this is one of the first things that a newly married K1 couple embark upon. If you cant afford the AOS, then the initial immigration shouldn't take place. You are asking someone you love to be a legal nobody until the AOS can be filed for.

OP - I am sorry you have found yourself in this situation. If there is definately no way to salvage this relationship and then go on to file AOS, then I'm afraid your only legal option is to return to your home country. You are currently breaking the law by working without authorisation and if you and your husband are to seperate and eventually divorce you will be without status in the US.

I hope you can find your way through all of this.

[Susita 175]

Did your wife send all her money to Vietnam ? did you in same situation as the husband in story ?

I'm tired of foreign wife not help me anything , just ask money send to their family so they live wealthy in their country and we live here in US work all day like slaved.

I don't know why all of you guys bash the husband ?.

I think all of these financial details should be worked out prior to moving to the US. But if her husband said one thing, then did another, that's another story. My husband's family in Peru isn't so well off but neither are we here. We send his parents something for the holidays, birthdays, but not on a regular basis. We honestly can't afford it, nor is it necessary.

Also, we all have to remember that she does have children in the Philipines and although out of college, we all know that kids are still a huge expense, big or small, right?

All I have to say is good luck and don't risk getting in trouble for being here illegally. It's not worth it if you get another opportunity to come back in the future.