How do you manage everything

[Yensid 0]

All right guys I am just throwing this out there for some advice. My fiancé and I are trying to plan a wedding and the immigration stuff all at the same time. Either of which is hard all on it’s on but they are both so intertwined that it’s impossible to separate the 2. Any advice for this overwhelmed couple?

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Umit and I are just going to do the "legal" paperwork marriage when she gets here to fill in the requirements of the visa.

Once the AOS goes through and she has the AP - we will do the "real wedding party" in Turkey and in the US later.

Plenty of time to plan

[English Muffin 59]

Don't book anything that can't be canceled easily until you have your visa in hand.

[Carlawarla 1]

I wouldn't be planning anything right now. Sure, look at different venues, prices etc., but don't book anything until you have that hot little visa in your hands! Remember the visa is good for six months, and then after arrival, you have 90 days in which to marry, so that's almost 9 months to do all of that. It's certainly enough time. Many couples seem to go to a courthouse and get their AOS filed immediately upon arrival, and then have something at a later time for family and friends. Your choice of course, but the immigration process can be stressful enough without overwhelming yourself with wedding details as well. After 3 years here on VJ I can assure you that there have been times when people have planned weddings, and been burned by not getting the visa when they thought they would. Proceed cautiously!

[justashooter 430]

we were married in an upscale hotel banquet room (The Mirror Room - Yorktowne Hotel) 25 days after returning to America, and i was living overseas most of the time then. we had about 30 guests, a cake, flowers, an officiant, some canned music (my selections, mostly johnny mercer), lunch, and an afterparty out at our farmhouse. it can be put together in a matter of weeks if you have things like the dress arranged beforehand (wedding dresses are a lot cheaper in china, so we got 2).

we were married again the next spring in china in a hotel banquet room with about 300 guests, a cake, about 200 dozen cut flowers, a light show, a video show of our life in America, fireworks on stage, a bubble machine, a grand piano moved to site, lunch, and lots of alcohol.

guess which cost more to arrange.

[sunshine2 0]

All right guys I am just throwing this out there for some advice. My fiancé and I are trying to plan a wedding and the immigration stuff all at the same time. Either of which is hard all on it’s on but they are both so intertwined that it’s impossible to separate the 2. Any advice for this overwhelmed couple?

I echo the above comments - don't try to book anything until you have the visa in hand. you could have a delay at any time and the worst thing would be to book something and then have to cancel and lose your deposits. Best thing, in my opinion, is to just check out places as someone before me mentioned. Make yourselves shortlists of places, caterers etc. Before I received my visa, all I had done was to buy my dress and accessories etc. and have the bridesmaids buy theirs, make the invites (minus the insert with the actual details), buy gifts for the bridal party, parents etc, and because we got married in my husband's church we provisionally booked it but didn't confirm and pay until after the visa was in hand. Everything else i think was done in the 6 weeks between the visa interview and wedding!! It is crazy and stressful but what wedding planning isn't?! It's all totally worth it in the end

[apricot 0]

Despite how difficult all the arrangements and processes may be, it's a really exciting time too! Whatever you choose to do first, enjoy! Everything is a step closer to being together with your loved one.

[Yensid 0]

Thanks for all the great input guys, sometimes it's just nice to know that others have gone threw and succeeded! Thanks again! I'll keep you posted.

[Nik+Heather 121]

I always seem to be the voice to the contrary....

You of course have to assess your own ability to handle risks vs. your desire for a big day. For us, it was important to be both legally and ceremonially married at the same time WITH all of our families and friends around us. I studied the time lines and the statistics gathered here on Visa Journey, and the average time from sending the petition to having the visa seemed to be about 8 months. As it was January, I set an October wedding date (9 months away). I also started putting down deposits!! Here are the precautions I took:

- Good padding for the visa process

- All contracts can have the date changed free of charge (outright cancellation results in partial or complete forfeiture of deposit)

- Willingness to eat the cost of any (or all) deposits - If the visa was giving us that many problems, I figured I wouldn't notice anyway!

The out come is that if we wanted to keep the same wedding date, we received the visa a month before he could actually use it, and 3.5 months before he actually will use it! I suppose if we had kept our plans REALLY soft he could be on his way now, but then we wouldn't have that magical wedding day, either (do you know what it's like to wear a poofy dress in Arizona in the summer?!!!). I like to plan things out, and now that we don't have the uncertainty of the visa hanging over us, I still don't think I would change anything.

Also, with the proposed time line in your signature, you could totally do this. If you petition early and are approved early there are lots of ways to extend out your process if you need to- drag out packet 3, reschedule your visa interview (London is easy about that sort of thing) etc...

Edited June 11, 2009 by Nik+Heather

[baron555 934]

It's easy to manage. Do one thing at a time.

Immigration through AOS (including legal marriage at county courthouse).

Then, the big wedding.

[Yensid 0]

For us, it was important to be both legally and ceremonially married at the same time WITH all of our families and friends around us.

That is exactly what we are trying to do. Thanks for some great advice.