Yardies at Home and a Farrin (part15)

[BunzTheMagicSnail 2]

happy wedding day dillon!

my sister is getting married today as well

good news ladies!

NEW INTERVIEW DATE SCHEDULED: July 17 8 am!

this is the one

have a grand weekend y'all

yaaaaaaaaaaaay

that was fast justicia

i bet yuh this time him go from one week in advance lol

all the best

hoping dillon's day goes as smoothly as possible

and lovesponge thanks for sharing, that's the real deal girl

it's not always a fairytale but u're right about praying on it

it's a continuous process and there is nothing wrong with arguing as long as you're not tearing down each other

better to talk it out than internalize it and burst

wishing you all the best

[My4rmylife 0]

Jus i am so happy your interview was rescheduled so quickly...

Love its great to hear your trying to be positive through the up and downs ..

off to the jazz fesitval i go talk to you ladies later..

[JAPrincess 27]

Nat I thought the same thing, my original date was in june. Then I thought about getting to know each other on a living together level first and I think thats what the govt had in mind as well when they came up with K1 and the 90 days "trial period". I am gonna be completely honest with you because I believe we are all here to help each other out in any way throughout this whole process. We argue ALOT and i mean over stupid stuff. Some of it is me i must admit I am 30 years old and have never lived with a man before so I am very private and cant stand anyone telleng me what to do or being in my personal space. Some of it is him, he has a very short temper and is kind of selfish. We are happy at the end of the day but trust me it is a loooooong day. I have prayed on it and will continue to use God as my only mentour because if it was up to family and friends we would have broken up a long time ago and I would be devastated.

My advise is use that time to get to know each others living habits, likes, dislikes, what pushes each others buttons and what doesnt break your relationship will only make it stronger. One day at a time.

(((Lovesponge)))

Did the two of you argue before he got here? Did you argue on the phone or when you were in JA?

For some reason this relationship is different for me... My Ex and I fought from very early in our relationship and we kept fighting through the 3 years we were together. He would say things that totally went against everything I felt in my soul. When I finally decided to leave him it was like a ton of bricks was lifted off me.

I refuse to live my days fighting... I have been single for 3 years because of that...

From the day I met this man we have agreed... we agree on so many important things.. child discipline, religion, politics, saving money...

When he talks about how to handle a situation it always resonates with me. He speaks the words in my heart, he has from the day we met.

I just don't know what we would argue about

I would love to hear from people like KK & Irie. Couples who have come a long way from the 90 days...

Did you get married right away?

Did you fight a lot at first? (I understand the adjustment can cause added pressure)

[NatPatBen 3]

Evening, All

I just got back from a pool party, luau-themed. It was fun. Later I'm going to PlayDate Houston. Has anyone heard of it/been before in their cities? It's $10 to go & play all kinds of games: chess, twister, uno, taboo, monopoly, and many more.

This will be my first time, but if it's as fun as it sounds, I may go back every month.

[^KK^ 3]

I would love to hear from people like KK & Irie. Couples who have come a long way from the 90 days...

Did you get married right away?

Did you fight a lot at first? (I understand the adjustment can cause added pressure)

JAPrincess - We got married after 60 days. We weren't really waiting on the adjustment period...just a time that I could get off from work..I was in the middle of my busy season at work (12-14 hour days). We had been together 5 years before we filed.....not that time means anything..

I'm realizing that we are not fighters. Fortunely, I didn't grow up seeing my parents fight..so my expectation is that we should never get physical. We have disagreements...but one of us usually gives in to the other one. We cool off then come back and discuss with no arguing. Indecent language is not allowed. ....7 years in March and not one curse word (out loud...hahahaha). We are very open to each other and I always knows if something I do or doing is bothering him...same for me I tell him about any issues I may have.

Like I said in the adjustment thread, I think I was the one that had to get use to the adjustment. I went from living alone and only having to think of myself to having a husband living together. It was different when he was in Jamaica and I was here...Still...living alone per se. I just had to get use to not thinking of myself. Then again..he lived alone in Jamaica too.

I really wish everyone on the VJ site the best. I realize that no two relationships will ever be the same. Although, my marriage doesn't have any huge problems...I enjoy reading books about Marriage to get tips to work through issues. Love Dare is awesome and I will be giving that book as a gift at every wedding I attend.

Evening, All

I just got back from a pool party, luau-themed. It was fun. Later I'm going to PlayDate Houston. Has anyone heard of it/been before in their cities? It's $10 to go & play all kinds of games: chess, twister, uno, taboo, monopoly, and many more.

This will be my first time, but if it's as fun as it sounds, I may go back every month.

I think Quana...or someone else post this a while back...could've been you.

I'm waiting on it to come to Baltimore or DC. Sounds like fun!!!

[JAPrincess 27]

JAPrincess - We got married after 60 days. We weren't really waiting on the adjustment period...just a time that I could get off from work..I was in the middle of my busy season at work (12-14 hour days). We had been together 5 years before we filed.....not that time means anything..

I'm realizing that we are not fighters. Fortunely, I didn't grow up seeing my parents fight..so my expectation is that we should never get physical. We have disagreements...but one of us usually gives in to the other one. We cool off then come back and discuss with no arguing. Indecent language is not allowed. ....7 years in March and not one curse word (out loud...hahahaha). We are very open to each other and I always knows if something I do or doing is bothering him...same for me I tell him about any issues I may have.

Like I said in the adjustment thread, I think I was the one that had to get use to the adjustment. I went from living alone and only having to think of myself to having a husband living together. It was different when he was in Jamaica and I was here...Still...living alone per se. I just had to get use to not thinking of myself. Then again..he lived alone in Jamaica too.

I really wish everyone on the VJ site the best. I realize that no two relationships will ever be the same. Although, my marriage doesn't have any huge problems...I enjoy reading books about Marriage to get tips to work through issues. Love Dare is awesome and I will be giving that book as a gift at every wedding I attend.

KK

Thank you for answering!

A lot of what you said makes sense to me and it is good to hear. He says his parents never fought either. Mine did fight occasionally but they spent more time loving and laughing than fighting. When my Mom died after 27 years of marriage they were more in love than they were the day they said I do.

The Love Dare is amazing, we finished it and started reading it over again the next day. Now if we can really PRACTICE (on a daily basis) the things the Love Dare teaches I have no doubt our love will prosper. What a great idea to give as a Wedding Gift! I feel like I have been pushing it on my friends who's marriages are on rocky ground I will consider the same gift for those new relationships, I believe is lays the groundwork for lasting kindness in a marriage.

We have also taken turns reading Intercultural Relationship books and really talked about our expectations and fears...

In 34 years I have never felt I could really spend my life with someone and make it work until now... in my heart I could marry him tomorrow and there would be no doubt it is the right choice... It just feels right... no way to really explain it unless you are of faith and then it is very clear...

That he comes from Jamaica, a country I love is kinda like icing on the cake...

[PortlandAngel 0]

Congratualtion Dillion many blessings to you too!!!

[J2A♥oasis 2]

Congratulations Dillon, happy wedding day! May your future together be forever blessed!

Congrats Justucia on the rescheduled ID. Wow, that really was quick!

[^KK^ 3]

Congrats Just on the new date!!!

[Empress 0]

I got a PM the other day about my process, so I figured I'd update my siggy and let yall know I filed for a non contest divorce that was finalized in April. We haven't spoken in a year and a half so I just didn't see the point in staying legally married just so I may be able to help him try again next year. He sent back the divorce papers with a love letter that I'd sent him a week after we got married....such a loser. Since I left, he's never had anything nice to say to me. I guess he's still bitter.

I'm just glad this chapter is officially closed.

Congrats on all the successful visas and marriages and good luck to all of you still in this process....you'll get through it!

[JAPrincess 27]

Wow

(((((Empress))))))

[NatPatBen 3]

We have also taken turns reading Intercultural Relationship books and really talked about our expectations and fears...

...

That he comes from Jamaica, a country I love is kinda like icing on the cake...

Which intercultural relationship books have you read? I've read a few.

Echo the Jamaica part!

[yankeesgirl79 0]

Good afternoon yardies!!!

Happy Wedding Day Dillon!

Justucia- YAY!! I was afraid you were going to have to wait until August, because I thought they only scheduled the 2nd week of each month for the following month. I agree with NAT, I bet your fiance is going to do everything possible to make sure this interview is smooth and ends with an approval.

Love- Thanks for being so honest. I think it's really important for all of us to see it's not always going to be easy. I hope the ride gets smoother for you two soon! I know it's a big adjustment moving in together and having to combine two lifestyles into one.

Sus- Thanks for brining up the gym. I was trying to forget about it, but since you mentioned it...I need to go too.

Happy Birthday to Cara's twins!!!

thanks brooke!!!!!!!!! what a long day it was and they are still sleeping from all the activity yesterday.....my kids are pretty damn lucky to get 2 birthday celebrations for their first birthday! i am glad richard got the 1st one though......he did such an amazing job arranging their party in JA and i was so proud of him! yesterday was just small get together with my parents and my best friend.....their big birthday party is july 11th and we are expecting 80ish people which will make thier 3rd party and then i am DONE! this mama is tired from 2 days of cake and family and presents LOL.....THANKS SO MUCH TO EVERYONE who sent birthday wishes on FB and myspace......and to everyones comments on the new pics thanks as well......it was a great trip but for some reason a verrrrrry emotional one (more than normal anyways).....and i got to meet Mrs. Palmer and her hubby and she is such a sweetheart.....was great meeting you and the mista tamisha! fun times......

congrats justicia on the interview date!

hang in the lovesponge......love conquers ALL! i understand the arguing all the time over small stuff and basically nothing and wanting to throw your hands up and call it quits......me and richard have gone through that phase and i think alot of is it just our frustrations of being apart especially with 2 likkle pickneys involved and not having the help and support i need from him......but this last trip made me reflect on alot and since i have been back home we are better and stronger than ever and like it was when we met all over again......you will get thru it girl!

hmmmmm i didnt read to far back so i am not sure of what else is going on here......anyone want to do a quick recap of the past 10 days LOL....

have a fabulous sunday ladies!

[^KK^ 3]

Good morning everyone!!!

[PortlandAngel 0]

Good morning!