Yardies at Home and a Farrin (part15)

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

DaDA, are you sure he is okay, no harm as been put upon him?

[My4rmylife 0]

Girl she did not say your hubby was the ugliest person she has ever seen?? Wow. I wonder how Roc and my mom would have got along. Not tot well I don’t think. One time I was over my mom's house and he called. He asked me to put my mom on the phone and when I asked her to she moved way like nope I don’t want to talk to him. I tried to play it up to him like she said she's busy she'll talk to you later but I'm sure he knew something was up. She also didn’t appreciate her daughter going over to a foreign country to be with him. He met my brother and dad in Feb and to me they got along well. Who wouldn’t they all sloppy drunk at the hotel and started dancing and everything. It was really quite comical. Roc even got down to business with them and told them some personal about his job and such and really had my family's ear but my bro did mention to him,” Now wait till you meet our mom. Whoo good luck with that.” I wonder how it would have felt to be in the middle. I would hope we would get through it. I knew we might have had some problems because Roc wasn’t big on holidays and my family goes over board so I' m sure that was going to be interesting. Uh well now I’ll have to see what my next man thinks.. lol

Sure did.......... but in my opinion if my man has half a face and I love him and love looking at him I'm good.

That is so true look dont make a person ....

http://www.dailypress.com/news/dp-local_fa...0,1928192.story

its a story about a co worker and his wife

[wakeywakeup 1]

Has Roc called you? How are you doing?

Nope!! Whatever happened I still have no idea! It’s the weirdest thing I have ever experienced. But he just left a blessing in disguise for the next man. But he has spoiled me I must say. At first I didn’t want a Jamaican and now I don’t want an American. I’m prejudice against my own culture!!! LOL I tell you go figure!!!!

Oh you asked how am I? Well I'm still numb and hurt feeling like I was hit by a Pat Bus but I just take it one day at a time knowing the hurt I feel will soon pass. I just wish it would hurry the bleep up.

Oh DaDa.. I wish I could give you a big hug..

[phillyfashionista 8]

Hey yardies!!!!

Hope all is well!

Wakey did you watch True Blood? It was hot like FIYAH wasn't it?

When I tell you it was the bomb..I want to watch it again tonight.. Did you see the end with the man trying to throw the cross. Lawdddddddddddd. I was jumping up and down and screaming..

LOL Wakey,

I just can't believe they have my man Lafayette chained up like that! I think the Vampires believe he was responsible for or has something to do with the kidnapping of the Vampire Sookie's brother and girlfriend killed. Although in the previews he asks them to convert him to a Vampire! DRAMA! I love his Character! Why does my Husband always tease me and comes up behind me trying to scare me and bite me on my neck talking about " I am not Human Sookie" Wha deh raas, he is buggin!

[wakeywakeup 1]

DaDA, are you sure he is okay, no harm as been put upon him?

I was just thinking same thing.. Wasn't there someone in earlier threads where they found out their SO was in a car accident.. I don't remember details but he eventually got in touch with her..

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

I have a question....How would you feel if your SO wants to have nothing to do with your part of the family...and your family did nothing to him to show that they have anything against him...but your SO said he "feels" it and doesn't have to see it...and then says that sometimes he wished they lived far away from your family so they don't have to see their baby.....

Any response will be highly appreciated...Thanxs

I would be SERIOUSLY questioning our relationship and his motives. To me that sounds like he can't be bothered with getting to know your family or caring about your wishes.

If the woman was a citizen and he was the immigrant, I would go far as to shout RED FLAG from the rooftops.

[JAPrincess 27]

wow honor your husband before your kids and family? i would need a full definition of the word "honor" before i can agree on this one...

From the Love Dare:

Live with your wives in an understanding way…and show her

honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life. -1 Peter 3:7

There are certain words in our language that have powerful meanings. Whenever these words are used, an air of respect is associated with them. These words never lose their timeless quality, class, and dignity. One of these will be our focus for today. It is the word honor.

To honor someone means to give them respect and high esteem, to treat them as being special and of great worth. When you speak to them, you keep your language clean and understandable. You are courteous and polite. When they speak to you, you take them seriously, giving their words weight and significance. When they ask you to do something, you accommodate them if at all possible, simply out of respect for who they are.

The Bible tells us to “honor” our father and mother, as well as those in authority. It is a call to acknowledge the position or value of someone else. Honor is a noble word.

This is especially true in marriage. Honoring your mate means giving him or her your full attention, not talking to them from behind a newspaper or with one eye on the television. When decisions are being made that affect both of you or your whole family, you give your mate’s voice and opinion equal influence in your mind. You honor what they have to say. They matter – and because of the way you treat them, they should know it.

But there’s another word that calls us to a higher place, a word that isn’t often equated with marriage, though its relevance cannot be understated. It’s a word that actually forms the basis for honor – the very reason why we give respect and high regard to our husband or wife. That word is holy.

To say your mate should be “holy” to you doesn’t mean that he or she is perfect. Holiness means they are set apart for a higher purpose – no longer common or everyday but special and unique. A person who has become holy to you has a place no one can rival in your heart. He or she is sacred to you, a person to be honored, praised, and defended.

A bride treats her wedding dress this way. After wearing it on her special day, she covers and protects it, then sets it apart from everything else in her closet. You won’t catch her in it when she’s working in the yard or going out on the town. Her wedding dress has a value all its own. In this way, it is holy and sacred to her.

When two people marry, each spouse becomes “holy” to each other by way of “holy matrimony.” This means no other person in the whole world is supposed to enjoy this level of commitment and endearment from you. Your relationship is like no other. You share physical intimacy with only her, only him. You establish a home with this person. You bear your children with this person. Your heart, your possessions, your life itself is to be wrapped up in the uncommon bond you share with this one individual.

Is that the way it is in your marriage? Would your mate say you honor and respect them? Do you consider them set apart and highly valued? Holy?

Perhaps you don’t feel this way, and maybe for good reason. Perhaps you wish some outsider could see the level of disrespect you get from your wife or husband – someone who would make your mate feel embarrassed to be exposed for who they really are behind closed doors.

But that’s not the issue with love. Love honors even when it’s rejected. Love treats its beloved as special and sacred even when an ungrateful attitude is all you get in return.

It’s marvelous, of course, when a husband and wife are joined in this purpose, when they’re following the biblical command to be “devoted to one another” in love, when they’re giving “preference to one another in honor” (Romans 12:10). “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure” (Hebrews 13:4 NIV).

But when your attempts at honor go unreciprocated, you are to give honor just the same. That’s what love dares to do – to say, “Of all the relationships I have, I will value ours the most. Of all the things I’m willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you.. With all your failures, sins, mistakes, and faults – past and present – I still choose to love and honor you.” That’s how you lead your heart to truly love your mate again. And that’s the beauty of honor.

[wakeywakeup 1]

Hey yardies!!!!

Hope all is well!

Wakey did you watch True Blood? It was hot like FIYAH wasn't it?

When I tell you it was the bomb..I want to watch it again tonight.. Did you see the end with the man trying to throw the cross. Lawdddddddddddd. I was jumping up and down and screaming..

LOL Wakey,

I just can't believe they have my man Lafayette chained up like that! I think the Vampires believe he was responsible for or has something to do with the kidnapping of the Vampire Sookie's brother and girlfriend killed. Although in the previews he asks them to convert him to a Vampire! DRAMA! I love his Character! Why does my Husband always tease me and comes up behind me trying to scare me and bite me on my neck talking about " I am not Human Sookie" Wha deh raas, he is buggin!

I know I think they want him for selling their blood! Why do you think they killed the voodoo lady??

Me and Dwayne used to do that to and run through the house bitting each other..fun times

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

I agree with Dillon here. Within a couples weeks of being here A said the same thing about my mother - he doesn't like her and she doesn't like him. I just let it rest because there wasn't anything that happened with either of them for him to come to that conclusion. If we are hanging out there, I always invite him to go - it's his choice to go or not. But if it's a holiday or something, I expect him to go.

I remember you posted awhile ago that your mom did everything for/with you until your hubby came here. Perhaps he is feeling like she or your family is too much into your marriage. There is a fine line there of support and interference. See if you can get him to talk about what really is bothering him about your family. Just my 2 cents...

To be 100% honest, I must say in my eyes that's the actions of a man with something to hide....Ie, he feels that family can see through him...

[finesse 3]

No one should have to CHOOSE between their husband and kids or husband and parents or husband and grandparents. These are all totally different relationships. Any healthy and confident person has room in their life for all of them.

There is much truth to this statement. But, it does happen from time to time.

i am not saying it doesn't happen, shoot it probably happens a lot. I'm just saying...for example....if your mother is putting you in a position that she wants you to choose her over your husband, then she is the one with the issue, and she will be the one to lose out on the relationship....anyone that really cares about your happiness will not put you in that position.

with kids, it's totally different. it is our job and our responsibility to provide and take care of our kids and yes, they should come first. they didn't ask to be here. they are not old enough to take care of themselves....

[StoneLove4Ever 0]

No one should have to CHOOSE between their husband and kids or husband and parents or husband and grandparents. These are all totally different relationships. Any healthy and confident person has room in their life for all of them.

There is much truth to this statement. But, it does happen from time to time.

i am not saying it doesn't happen, shoot it probably happens a lot. I'm just saying...for example....if your mother is putting you in a position that she wants you to choose her over your husband, then she is the one with the issue, and she will be the one to lose out on the relationship....anyone that really cares about your happiness will not put you in that position.

with kids, it's totally different. it is our job and our responsibility to provide and take care of our kids and yes, they should come first. they didn't ask to be here. they are not old enough to take care of themselves....

I totally agree...

[wakeywakeup 1]

I agree with Dillon here. Within a couples weeks of being here A said the same thing about my mother - he doesn't like her and she doesn't like him. I just let it rest because there wasn't anything that happened with either of them for him to come to that conclusion. If we are hanging out there, I always invite him to go - it's his choice to go or not. But if it's a holiday or something, I expect him to go.

I remember you posted awhile ago that your mom did everything for/with you until your hubby came here. Perhaps he is feeling like she or your family is too much into your marriage. There is a fine line there of support and interference. See if you can get him to talk about what really is bothering him about your family. Just my 2 cents...

To be 100% honest, I must say in my eyes that's the actions of a man with something to hide....Ie, he feels that family can see through him...

Or he could be as simple as he knows they don't like him..I think you have to look at the total picture. Some families aren't the kind you want to hang out with and their prejudices may make the person feel very unwelcome.

Edited June 16, 2009 by wakeywakeup

[StoneLove4Ever 0]

I agree with Dillon here. Within a couples weeks of being here A said the same thing about my mother - he doesn't like her and she doesn't like him. I just let it rest because there wasn't anything that happened with either of them for him to come to that conclusion. If we are hanging out there, I always invite him to go - it's his choice to go or not. But if it's a holiday or something, I expect him to go.

I remember you posted awhile ago that your mom did everything for/with you until your hubby came here. Perhaps he is feeling like she or your family is too much into your marriage. There is a fine line there of support and interference. See if you can get him to talk about what really is bothering him about your family. Just my 2 cents...

To be 100% honest, I must say in my eyes that's the actions of a man with something to hide....Ie, he feels that family can see through him...

I'm sorry but are you serious... ....my mom is someone who is hard to please...like i said before if you are not a lawyer, doctor, or haitian then you are nobody right off the back...she like none of my boyfriends and she hated...I mean hated my son's father...to the point where he was not allowed in front of my door to see his own son...and my son's father never liked her because of my mom's attitude which i can understand...and my son's father is from the USA and does not need a greencard...My mom just felt he wasn't the kind of man i needed in my life...and just expressed in a crazy way....

IMO mothers just want the best for their kids regardless...Some family members might feel like yeah he just want her for a greencard and give a bad attitude to the SO just because they have that feeling....which is not fair...

In my case I know...downright know that my family is not like that and will never feel that hubby is using me for a greencard...cause my family is used to it... ...My older brother from my dad side filed for his wife who is from jamaica the same way i went about it...no one knew about her or their marriage until she came up here with their child... ...My twin brother same thing...he filed for his wife who is also JA but she was already up here so all they had to do was AOS....and now me...me and my twin was just laughing about this the other day saying we are truly one pea in a pod...we went through the same exact thing....crazy i tell you... ...but back to the point I don't think he is hiding anything...just like some one said...I think it was philly...he probably just felt a vibe and didn't like it....he might have his reasons....

Edited June 16, 2009 by StoneLove4Ever

[wakeywakeup 1]

I agree with Dillon here. Within a couples weeks of being here A said the same thing about my mother - he doesn't like her and she doesn't like him. I just let it rest because there wasn't anything that happened with either of them for him to come to that conclusion. If we are hanging out there, I always invite him to go - it's his choice to go or not. But if it's a holiday or something, I expect him to go.

I remember you posted awhile ago that your mom did everything for/with you until your hubby came here. Perhaps he is feeling like she or your family is too much into your marriage. There is a fine line there of support and interference. See if you can get him to talk about what really is bothering him about your family. Just my 2 cents...

To be 100% honest, I must say in my eyes that's the actions of a man with something to hide....Ie, he feels that family can see through him...

Or he could be as simple as he knows they don't like him..I think you have to look at the total picture. Some families aren't the kind you want to hang out with and their prejudices may make the person feel very unwelcome.

I remember one of my high school boyfriend's mom put me through hell. She wanted him to be with another girl and therefore she gave me evil looks, made nasty comments about my virtue, and where I came from (da hood) etc. Told me she didn't want me eating her food. I told the guy I would never come by when his mom was home because of how she'd act. She was the reason we finally broke up. I just couldn't deal with it anymore.

[StoneLove4Ever 0]

Oh and by the way...my older brother has been married for over 19yrs now and my twin has been married for 8yrs...and we will see for me.....