Yardies at Home and a Farrin (part15)

[*JG* 2]

Tre, I just PM'd you. Need to vent.

[StoneLove4Ever 0]

He's not controlling cause he never stopped me from being around my family but if my family has any functions he wouldn't want to go or if they come over he would just stay in the bedroom or go outside....

I'm not really 100% family person but when they have functions i will go or go visit my parents like one day on the weekends or something and i have a twin brother so sometimes he will have dinners over his house and i would go but he would always say he doesn't feel comfortable being around my fam...

A little background: I kinda blame myself because my fam is kinda snottie....my mother thinks if you are not a doctor, lawyer, or haitian, you are nothing...so i just told my husband that my mom is like that but when she does finally get to know you she is a very cool, nice person....and my brother could act pretty snottie too...like he's sh*t don't stink...so i just pre-warning him just in case they do act a way...and pretty much too that our whole marriage thing was a secret until he came up here so i was like they might feel a way about that too....

So he has this in his heart and won't even give them a chance...I tell him that my fam is so over the whole marriage thing especially since now that i am pregnant that he just need to be more social when they are around...I'm not asking him to call or go over the house but when they are around just act a little more sociable....he will say hi but that is about it and will then leave the room...

I just want him to give them a chance...

Sorry took so long to post my boss keep coming in my cubicle....

Sorry but that gave me a chuckle, is your family Haitian?

Yeah...my parents were both born and raised in Haiti...my father didn't come to the US until he was 38-39 and my mom was around 30....so they both have very old-school mind-frame on things...

Edited June 16, 2009 by StoneLove4Ever

[wakeywakeup 1]

He's not controlling cause he never stopped me from being around my family but if my family has any functions he wouldn't want to go or if they come over he would just stay in the bedroom or go outside....

I'm not really 100% family person but when they have functions i will go or go visit my parents like one day on the weekends or something and i have a twin brother so sometimes he will have dinners over his house and i would go but he would always say he doesn't feel comfortable being around my fam...

A little background: I kinda blame myself because my fam is kinda snottie....my mother thinks if you are not a doctor, lawyer, or haitian, you are nothing...so i just told my husband that my mom is like that but when she does finally get to know you she is a very cool, nice person....and my brother could act pretty snottie too...like he's sh*t don't stink...so i just pre-warning him just in case they do act a way...and pretty much too that our whole marriage thing was a secret until he came up here so i was like they might feel a way about that too....

So he has this in his heart and won't even give them a chance...I tell him that my fam is so over the whole marriage thing especially since now that i am pregnant that he just need to be more social when they are around...I'm not asking him to call or go over the house but when they are around just act a little more sociable....he will say hi but that is about it and will then leave the room...

I just want him to give them a chance...

Sorry took so long to post my boss keep coming in my cubicle....

Had to reply to this one…..

I can understand how your hubby might be feeling but mine comes from other end. He tried to fit in and become a part of the family but my mom didn’t like Dwayne even before he got here. He thought he’d be able to win her over once he came. He tried to be polite, calling her mom, and asking how she is doing and what not.

Even when they first met, I thought she liked him (he did the yard work, fixed the porch, and cooked fish – which he burned caused he didn’t know how to use the electric stove) She told my sis a totally different story of all the things he did wrong and that he was the ugliest man she’d ever seen.

Then every time I tried to get us all to spend time together, she’d go ballistic - didn’t want me bringing him around and so forth. She’d say, “can’t I just spend time with my daughter without him coming – DA$$!” I told him all the stuff she had to say (which I shouldn’t have) because then he became so afraid and refused to go around my family because he knew he wasn’t welcomed. It really put me in an uncomfortable position too because I was trying to please everyone and I felt I needed to downplay my happiness as to not rub it in her face. I changed too and started seeing all the bad and hammering it into him on every turn.

If I were your hubby I might want to put the brakes on too if the family is treating him like he’s less than..like my mom did Dwayne…Ask your family how she’d feel if she came to a different country and didn’t know anyone and was treated this way (didn’t work for me but hey it might if your family is normal)

Wakey, I don't know your mother, but is seemds to me she is a controlling type of person. For so long, you probably have been there for her, and did alots of things for her. Nothing less than what a good decent daughter would do, but she didn't want to let go. It probably wouldn't have matter if it was D, or someone else from right here at home. Her actions may have been the same. One of the things we forget is that when we marry, in the eyes of GOD, our spouses are our new family and they should be considered first.

Yes she is very controlling..We just had a big fight last night about this.

When Dwayne was coming she told me she wanted to go window shopping and I said well just go and you might see something you like. She replied that she couldn't go without me. I told her she was going to have to break out of this and what was she going to do when I got married. She told me I wasn't married yet and don't go putting all my eggs in one basket cause when Dwayne gets here and meets me he will find out he doesn't even like me. She throws words like knives.

sorry for taking over the thread with my mess but I'm very very weepy today. My heart hurts..

Edited June 16, 2009 by wakeywakeup

[phillyfashionista 8]

Yardie; a ow much obeah ooman it tek fi call u?

Mi nah really knoa...mussi whole heap. Mi juss need fi tek wan likkle break fram everyting an mi did sick fi wan good while dat kept mi away fram deh computa. Now mi good so si mi ere. Yuh alright wid dat?

mi no know yet...mi miss u still.

I forgot to tell you ladies, but the guy that hit my cousin and killed her when she was 8 months pregnant back in May was allowed to leave Jamaica and fly to the US...someone please explain this to me. They said there was no need to keep him in jail, since the accident was being investigated. It's June, how much investigation do you need to do.

#######!!!!! How does this happen??? Don't you have to get a police report to travel?

I thought so to, but the boy has never been in trouble before and he has a student visa, so mi no know.

That's the same thing I was thinking , talking about the system truly failing!

I'm so sorry for your family Lawny.......

[finesse 3]

My fiance is talking about getting a house big enough for our family and my parents ...I love them but live with them my parents like to be in charge and ihave a difference of opinion on some things .... . i guess we will see what happens

Oh hell no! My husband and I made an agreement long ago that there will be no grown #### people living under our roof but us..

[sus 70]

sorry for taking over the thread with my mess but I'm very very weepy today. My heart hurts..

Don't apologize for venting, Wakey - we all have those days - Sending you big hugs

[*JG* 2]

He's not controlling cause he never stopped me from being around my family but if my family has any functions he wouldn't want to go or if they come over he would just stay in the bedroom or go outside....

I'm not really 100% family person but when they have functions i will go or go visit my parents like one day on the weekends or something and i have a twin brother so sometimes he will have dinners over his house and i would go but he would always say he doesn't feel comfortable being around my fam...

A little background: I kinda blame myself because my fam is kinda snottie....my mother thinks if you are not a doctor, lawyer, or haitian, you are nothing...so i just told my husband that my mom is like that but when she does finally get to know you she is a very cool, nice person....and my brother could act pretty snottie too...like he's sh*t don't stink...so i just pre-warning him just in case they do act a way...and pretty much too that our whole marriage thing was a secret until he came up here so i was like they might feel a way about that too....

So he has this in his heart and won't even give them a chance...I tell him that my fam is so over the whole marriage thing especially since now that i am pregnant that he just need to be more social when they are around...I'm not asking him to call or go over the house but when they are around just act a little more sociable....he will say hi but that is about it and will then leave the room...

I just want him to give them a chance...

Sorry took so long to post my boss keep coming in my cubicle....

Had to reply to this one…..

I can understand how your hubby might be feeling but mine comes from other end. He tried to fit in and become a part of the family but my mom didn't like Dwayne even before he got here. He thought he'd be able to win her over once he came. He tried to be polite, calling her mom, and asking how she is doing and what not.

Even when they first met, I thought she liked him (he did the yard work, fixed the porch, and cooked fish – which he burned caused he didn't know how to use the electric stove) She told my sis a totally different story of all the things he did wrong and that he was the ugliest man she'd ever seen.

Then every time I tried to get us all to spend time together, she'd go ballistic - didn't want me bringing him around and so forth. She'd say, "can't I just spend time with my daughter without him coming – DA$$!" I told him all the stuff she had to say (which I shouldn't have) because then he became so afraid and refused to go around my family because he knew he wasn't welcomed. It really put me in an uncomfortable position too because I was trying to please everyone and I felt I needed to downplay my happiness as to not rub it in her face. I changed too and started seeing all the bad and hammering it into him on every turn.

If I were your hubby I might want to put the brakes on too if the family is treating him like he's less than..like my mom did Dwayne…Ask your family how she'd feel if she came to a different country and didn't know anyone and was treated this way (didn't work for me but hey it might if your family is normal)

Wakey, I don't know your mother, but is seemds to me she is a controlling type of person. For so long, you probably have been there for her, and did alots of things for her. Nothing less than what a good decent daughter would do, but she didn't want to let go. It probably wouldn't have matter if it was D, or someone else from right here at home. Her actions may have been the same. One of the things we forget is that when we marry, in the eyes of GOD, our spouses are our new family and they should be considered first.

Wow. Interesting point of view. I'd never turn my back on my kids, parents, or my grandparents for anyone.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

He's not controlling cause he never stopped me from being around my family but if my family has any functions he wouldn't want to go or if they come over he would just stay in the bedroom or go outside....

I'm not really 100% family person but when they have functions i will go or go visit my parents like one day on the weekends or something and i have a twin brother so sometimes he will have dinners over his house and i would go but he would always say he doesn't feel comfortable being around my fam...

A little background: I kinda blame myself because my fam is kinda snottie....my mother thinks if you are not a doctor, lawyer, or haitian, you are nothing...so i just told my husband that my mom is like that but when she does finally get to know you she is a very cool, nice person....and my brother could act pretty snottie too...like he's sh*t don't stink...so i just pre-warning him just in case they do act a way...and pretty much too that our whole marriage thing was a secret until he came up here so i was like they might feel a way about that too....

So he has this in his heart and won't even give them a chance...I tell him that my fam is so over the whole marriage thing especially since now that i am pregnant that he just need to be more social when they are around...I'm not asking him to call or go over the house but when they are around just act a little more sociable....he will say hi but that is about it and will then leave the room...

I just want him to give them a chance...

Sorry took so long to post my boss keep coming in my cubicle....

Had to reply to this one…..

I can understand how your hubby might be feeling but mine comes from other end. He tried to fit in and become a part of the family but my mom didn’t like Dwayne even before he got here. He thought he’d be able to win her over once he came. He tried to be polite, calling her mom, and asking how she is doing and what not.

Even when they first met, I thought she liked him (he did the yard work, fixed the porch, and cooked fish – which he burned caused he didn’t know how to use the electric stove) She told my sis a totally different story of all the things he did wrong and that he was the ugliest man she’d ever seen.

Then every time I tried to get us all to spend time together, she’d go ballistic - didn’t want me bringing him around and so forth. She’d say, “can’t I just spend time with my daughter without him coming – DA$$!” I told him all the stuff she had to say (which I shouldn’t have) because then he became so afraid and refused to go around my family because he knew he wasn’t welcomed. It really put me in an uncomfortable position too because I was trying to please everyone and I felt I needed to downplay my happiness as to not rub it in her face. I changed too and started seeing all the bad and hammering it into him on every turn.

If I were your hubby I might want to put the brakes on too if the family is treating him like he’s less than..like my mom did Dwayne…Ask your family how she’d feel if she came to a different country and didn’t know anyone and was treated this way (didn’t work for me but hey it might if your family is normal)

Wakey, I don't know your mother, but is seemds to me she is a controlling type of person. For so long, you probably have been there for her, and did alots of things for her. Nothing less than what a good decent daughter would do, but she didn't want to let go. It probably wouldn't have matter if it was D, or someone else from right here at home. Her actions may have been the same. One of the things we forget is that when we marry, in the eyes of GOD, our spouses are our new family and they should be considered first.

Yes she is very controlling..We just had a big fight last night about this.

When Dwayne was coming she told me she wanted to go window shopping and I said well just go and you might see something you like. She replied that she couldn't go without me. I told her she was going to have to break out of this and what was she going to do when I got married. She told me I wasn't married yet and don't go putting all my eggs in one basket cause when Dwayne gets here and meets me he will find out he doesn't even like me. She throws words like knives.

sorry for taking over the thread with my mess but I'm very very weepy today. My heart hurts..

Wakey, your mother does this because she knows she can get to you this way. You have to decide how much of your life do you want her to controll. Now, she has done a wonderful job in raising you, because look at the beautiful woman you have become. Now, it time for everyone to let go, and to let you live your life the way you waant to. So what if you make mistakes, that's why the word 2nd chance is in the dictionary. DO WHAT YOU WANT, NOT WHAT OTHERS THINK YOU SHOULD DO.

LOVE who you want, forgive who you wish, GOD has given you the strength to do both, so use what has been trusted to you wisely, and live your life for you.

[wakeywakeup 1]

He's not controlling cause he never stopped me from being around my family but if my family has any functions he wouldn't want to go or if they come over he would just stay in the bedroom or go outside....

I'm not really 100% family person but when they have functions i will go or go visit my parents like one day on the weekends or something and i have a twin brother so sometimes he will have dinners over his house and i would go but he would always say he doesn't feel comfortable being around my fam...

A little background: I kinda blame myself because my fam is kinda snottie....my mother thinks if you are not a doctor, lawyer, or haitian, you are nothing...so i just told my husband that my mom is like that but when she does finally get to know you she is a very cool, nice person....and my brother could act pretty snottie too...like he's sh*t don't stink...so i just pre-warning him just in case they do act a way...and pretty much too that our whole marriage thing was a secret until he came up here so i was like they might feel a way about that too....

So he has this in his heart and won't even give them a chance...I tell him that my fam is so over the whole marriage thing especially since now that i am pregnant that he just need to be more social when they are around...I'm not asking him to call or go over the house but when they are around just act a little more sociable....he will say hi but that is about it and will then leave the room...

I just want him to give them a chance...

Sorry took so long to post my boss keep coming in my cubicle....

Had to reply to this one…..

I can understand how your hubby might be feeling but mine comes from other end. He tried to fit in and become a part of the family but my mom didn't like Dwayne even before he got here. He thought he'd be able to win her over once he came. He tried to be polite, calling her mom, and asking how she is doing and what not.

Even when they first met, I thought she liked him (he did the yard work, fixed the porch, and cooked fish – which he burned caused he didn't know how to use the electric stove) She told my sis a totally different story of all the things he did wrong and that he was the ugliest man she'd ever seen.

Then every time I tried to get us all to spend time together, she'd go ballistic - didn't want me bringing him around and so forth. She'd say, "can't I just spend time with my daughter without him coming – DA$$!" I told him all the stuff she had to say (which I shouldn't have) because then he became so afraid and refused to go around my family because he knew he wasn't welcomed. It really put me in an uncomfortable position too because I was trying to please everyone and I felt I needed to downplay my happiness as to not rub it in her face. I changed too and started seeing all the bad and hammering it into him on every turn.

If I were your hubby I might want to put the brakes on too if the family is treating him like he's less than..like my mom did Dwayne…Ask your family how she'd feel if she came to a different country and didn't know anyone and was treated this way (didn't work for me but hey it might if your family is normal)

Wakey, I don't know your mother, but is seemds to me she is a controlling type of person. For so long, you probably have been there for her, and did alots of things for her. Nothing less than what a good decent daughter would do, but she didn't want to let go. It probably wouldn't have matter if it was D, or someone else from right here at home. Her actions may have been the same. One of the things we forget is that when we marry, in the eyes of GOD, our spouses are our new family and they should be considered first.

Wow. Interesting point of view. I'd never turn my back on my kids, parents, or my grandparents for anyone.

Agreed but it's really hard to live up to their expectations if they don't like who you love..

[phillyfashionista 8]

Hey yardies!!!!

Hope all is well!

Wakey did you watch True Blood? It was hot like FIYAH wasn't it?

[wakeywakeup 1]

He's not controlling cause he never stopped me from being around my family but if my family has any functions he wouldn't want to go or if they come over he would just stay in the bedroom or go outside....

I'm not really 100% family person but when they have functions i will go or go visit my parents like one day on the weekends or something and i have a twin brother so sometimes he will have dinners over his house and i would go but he would always say he doesn't feel comfortable being around my fam...

A little background: I kinda blame myself because my fam is kinda snottie....my mother thinks if you are not a doctor, lawyer, or haitian, you are nothing...so i just told my husband that my mom is like that but when she does finally get to know you she is a very cool, nice person....and my brother could act pretty snottie too...like he's sh*t don't stink...so i just pre-warning him just in case they do act a way...and pretty much too that our whole marriage thing was a secret until he came up here so i was like they might feel a way about that too....

So he has this in his heart and won't even give them a chance...I tell him that my fam is so over the whole marriage thing especially since now that i am pregnant that he just need to be more social when they are around...I'm not asking him to call or go over the house but when they are around just act a little more sociable....he will say hi but that is about it and will then leave the room...

I just want him to give them a chance...

Sorry took so long to post my boss keep coming in my cubicle....

Had to reply to this one…..

I can understand how your hubby might be feeling but mine comes from other end. He tried to fit in and become a part of the family but my mom didn’t like Dwayne even before he got here. He thought he’d be able to win her over once he came. He tried to be polite, calling her mom, and asking how she is doing and what not.

Even when they first met, I thought she liked him (he did the yard work, fixed the porch, and cooked fish – which he burned caused he didn’t know how to use the electric stove) She told my sis a totally different story of all the things he did wrong and that he was the ugliest man she’d ever seen.

Then every time I tried to get us all to spend time together, she’d go ballistic - didn’t want me bringing him around and so forth. She’d say, “can’t I just spend time with my daughter without him coming – DA$$!” I told him all the stuff she had to say (which I shouldn’t have) because then he became so afraid and refused to go around my family because he knew he wasn’t welcomed. It really put me in an uncomfortable position too because I was trying to please everyone and I felt I needed to downplay my happiness as to not rub it in her face. I changed too and started seeing all the bad and hammering it into him on every turn.

If I were your hubby I might want to put the brakes on too if the family is treating him like he’s less than..like my mom did Dwayne…Ask your family how she’d feel if she came to a different country and didn’t know anyone and was treated this way (didn’t work for me but hey it might if your family is normal)

Wakey, I don't know your mother, but is seemds to me she is a controlling type of person. For so long, you probably have been there for her, and did alots of things for her. Nothing less than what a good decent daughter would do, but she didn't want to let go. It probably wouldn't have matter if it was D, or someone else from right here at home. Her actions may have been the same. One of the things we forget is that when we marry, in the eyes of GOD, our spouses are our new family and they should be considered first.

Yes she is very controlling..We just had a big fight last night about this.

When Dwayne was coming she told me she wanted to go window shopping and I said well just go and you might see something you like. She replied that she couldn't go without me. I told her she was going to have to break out of this and what was she going to do when I got married. She told me I wasn't married yet and don't go putting all my eggs in one basket cause when Dwayne gets here and meets me he will find out he doesn't even like me. She throws words like knives.

sorry for taking over the thread with my mess but I'm very very weepy today. My heart hurts..

Wakey, your mother does this because she knows she can get to you this way. You have to decide how much of your life do you want her to controll. Now, she has done a wonderful job in raising you, because look at the beautiful woman you have become. Now, it time for everyone to let go, and to let you live your life the way you waant to. So what if you make mistakes, that's why the word 2nd chance is in the dictionary. DO WHAT YOU WANT, NOT WHAT OTHERS THINK YOU SHOULD DO.

LOVE who you want, forgive who you wish, GOD has given you the strength to do both, so use what has been trusted to you wisely, and live your life for you.

Thanks Roxie

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

He's not controlling cause he never stopped me from being around my family but if my family has any functions he wouldn't want to go or if they come over he would just stay in the bedroom or go outside....

I'm not really 100% family person but when they have functions i will go or go visit my parents like one day on the weekends or something and i have a twin brother so sometimes he will have dinners over his house and i would go but he would always say he doesn't feel comfortable being around my fam...

A little background: I kinda blame myself because my fam is kinda snottie....my mother thinks if you are not a doctor, lawyer, or haitian, you are nothing...so i just told my husband that my mom is like that but when she does finally get to know you she is a very cool, nice person....and my brother could act pretty snottie too...like he's sh*t don't stink...so i just pre-warning him just in case they do act a way...and pretty much too that our whole marriage thing was a secret until he came up here so i was like they might feel a way about that too....

So he has this in his heart and won't even give them a chance...I tell him that my fam is so over the whole marriage thing especially since now that i am pregnant that he just need to be more social when they are around...I'm not asking him to call or go over the house but when they are around just act a little more sociable....he will say hi but that is about it and will then leave the room...

I just want him to give them a chance...

Sorry took so long to post my boss keep coming in my cubicle....

Had to reply to this one…..

I can understand how your hubby might be feeling but mine comes from other end. He tried to fit in and become a part of the family but my mom didn't like Dwayne even before he got here. He thought he'd be able to win her over once he came. He tried to be polite, calling her mom, and asking how she is doing and what not.

Even when they first met, I thought she liked him (he did the yard work, fixed the porch, and cooked fish – which he burned caused he didn't know how to use the electric stove) She told my sis a totally different story of all the things he did wrong and that he was the ugliest man she'd ever seen.

Then every time I tried to get us all to spend time together, she'd go ballistic - didn't want me bringing him around and so forth. She'd say, "can't I just spend time with my daughter without him coming – DA$$!" I told him all the stuff she had to say (which I shouldn't have) because then he became so afraid and refused to go around my family because he knew he wasn't welcomed. It really put me in an uncomfortable position too because I was trying to please everyone and I felt I needed to downplay my happiness as to not rub it in her face. I changed too and started seeing all the bad and hammering it into him on every turn.

If I were your hubby I might want to put the brakes on too if the family is treating him like he's less than..like my mom did Dwayne…Ask your family how she'd feel if she came to a different country and didn't know anyone and was treated this way (didn't work for me but hey it might if your family is normal)

Wakey, I don't know your mother, but is seemds to me she is a controlling type of person. For so long, you probably have been there for her, and did alots of things for her. Nothing less than what a good decent daughter would do, but she didn't want to let go. It probably wouldn't have matter if it was D, or someone else from right here at home. Her actions may have been the same. One of the things we forget is that when we marry, in the eyes of GOD, our spouses are our new family and they should be considered first.

Wow. Interesting point of view. I'd never turn my back on my kids, parents, or my grandparents for anyone.

Jomo, I don't think making decisions that others don't agree with as turning your back on them. But, I can guarantee you, if your parents were married that your mother honored your father, before she honored her kids.

[wakeywakeup 1]

Hey yardies!!!!

Hope all is well!

Wakey did you watch True Blood? It was hot like FIYAH wasn't it?

When I tell you it was the bomb..I want to watch it again tonight.. Did you see the end with the man trying to throw the cross. Lawdddddddddddd. I was jumping up and down and screaming..

[My4rmylife 0]

My fiance is talking about getting a house big enough for our family and my parents ...I love them but live with them my parents like to be in charge and ihave a difference of opinion on some things .... . i guess we will see what happens

Oh hell no! My husband and I made an agreement long ago that there will be no grown #### people living under our roof but us..

HE know my mom and i are close and we spend a lot of time together ... and she watches my kids when i work so they are at my house alot .... I am happy that he and my parents get along well but living together im not sure maybe large land two houses lol

[BunzTheMagicSnail 2]

Yes she is very controlling..We just had a big fight last night about this.

When Dwayne was coming she told me she wanted to go window shopping and I said well just go and you might see something you like. She replied that she couldn't go without me. I told her she was going to have to break out of this and what was she going to do when I got married. She told me I wasn't married yet and don't go putting all my eggs in one basket cause when Dwayne gets here and meets me he will find out he doesn't even like me. She throws words like knives.

sorry for taking over the thread with my mess but I'm very very weepy today. My heart hurts..

girl i don't even really know what to say

this is one of those things u can't really comment on because its apparent there is ALOT behind this

this has probably been simmering for years and years

but i will say at some point you need to stand up for yourself