Yardies at Home and a Farrin (part15)

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

I will put myself out here, by saying this, who cares why or how someone's relationship failed. Relationships are failing every day.... Be it for a CGs, baby mama drama, baby daddy drama or friend’s drama...etc. I feel that we are all adults on this site and if anyone of us decides to sleep with a dog, we were probably quite aware that he was a dog before we got bitten.

I care.

Because maybe if he was subtle, or it was a problem me and my husband experience, someone else's experience might help me or someone else.

We are all adults, and as adults we need to develop a sense of being thick skinned enough to hear what others have to say, and either keep it as being useful or dismiss it as being irrelevant.

I don't rejoice in ANY relationship's demise. I am not here to hate on anyone either.

But as an adult and a human being if I think someone is being used, I most often have NO problem telling them or at least giving them food for thought.

Some people however, do not want to hear ANYTHING that casts a shadow of doubt on their fantasy/fairytale story. So I leave them in their own little world. I'll comment, I will tell them upfront what I think if they ask, or make it my business by bringing incidents to the board. But, I will not feel too much pity when the sky comes crashing down.

I offer advice to warn of potholes, not to steer people into them or to scare them from travelling.

And YES, I want to hear why a relationship failed, what things he did, because it is a pattern that one day may be a warning signal to me.

Unlike some posters, I don't feel ASSURED my relationship is perfect, i feel it's a lot of work and will appreciate insight.

Perhaps not on the matters of being used for a visa, but most other issues relate to me or could relate to me at one point or another.

[*JG* 2]

Thanks for the responses regarding my daughter's friend. His mother (my friend) is extremely homophobic (sp) and I am concerned about her reaction but I won't say anything.

She will learn to deal or she will lose him. I hope she makes the right decision(s).

[newlynluv 0]

Dada you are silly as hell lmao lmao but to answer the question in regards to saying something ppl take ish the wrong way alot of ppl dont wanna hear the negative, i forgot that guy name??? i think shawn99 or something i mean he has a very very interesting way of saying certain things but is it not the truth??? maybe it's the way he say it and not what he was saying...

[^KK^ 3]

i agree. i do believe intelligence and self esteem have a lot to do with it though. if you are going to sit up and beleive that some dude is totally in love with you after talking to him for 20 minutes and then 3 days later he asking you for money while telling you that you are his soulmate and this other bs...then that person is an idiot.

NOoo this can't be true !!!!! So what are you ladies trying to tell me that guy I met on the beach who after talking to him for 20 minutes he told me I was his sole mate and that he could see himself marrying me. He asked me what type of wedding wanted and all so I told him and awww it was so magical.

I told him I was there with my family and he told me to go get them he wanted to meet dad and mom… I was so happy that I met the love of my life and I was about to get married again I asked him to wait right there while I went to get my dad…

UmmI wondering if he’s still waiting???

BOAL....DaDa ur so funny!!!!!

[wakeywakeup 1]

Clairey yuh no cound iina dis

and yes mi figet bout Jonesie..

thought I saw Jawi on here..anyone here about her surgery?

Claimed...i think is because SHE said so..most dont really know what happened..

U know ..why when a LDR fails from an international country some say its b/c of the GC...u know when ur being used from DAY ONE u just didn't want to SEE IT

I personally don't always believe it is cause of a green card, Kimmy. Sometimes they just don't work out cause of differences.

I agree not always....but in her relationship there were HUGE red flags from day one....I remember her always having send money for this and that reason....I also remember being tarred and feathered for telling her so too....

I agree with this JAE. Which is why the word "claimed" hit me harder then it should've.

It seems to me that there is always some rock flinging on anyone that has shared the negative aspects of their relationship on this board(joyfully inho). Nowmrs cant defend herself but at least she had the guts to share, while others share in pm, phone calls,etc.

I know I'm part of many a discussion as well but I deal with that cause i put myself out there.

However we share is cool but why keep telling who got got. Let's not pretend... ALL relationships have flaws and we ALL have to decide how much we can tolerate. and what one person chooses to deal with may be too much for the next but it don't make anyone better or less cause it something they have live with.

Well I think everyone who has shared a story on here is somewhat brave because they are not afraid to share their pain just like they shared their joy. What I do find funny and somewhat hypocritical is the fact that some people are so "happy" for people when they get their visa etc and make plenty of posts about how excited for each other they are but these same people never said anything to the person when they filed for the visa 1 month after meeting the SO but then 6 months after the SO gets here and leaves or some other drama everyone want to talk about how they saw the signs! WELL MY QUESTION IS IF YOU SAW THE SIGNS WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING? MAYBE YOU DIDN'T SAY IT ON THE BOARD BUT DID YOU PM THE PERSON? This is a rhetorical question I have about things I have seen and heard on this board.

intriguing...I'm sure this wasn't directed at me cause I've never seen a sign. I didn't even see my own.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

I will put myself out here, by saying this, who cares why or how someone's relationship failed. Relationships are failing every day.... Be it for a CGs, baby mama drama, baby daddy drama or friend's drama...etc. I feel that we are all adults on this site and if anyone of us decides to sleep with a dog, we were probably quite aware that he was a dog before we got bitten.

I care.

Because maybe if he was subtle, or it was a problem me and my husband experience, someone else's experience might help me or someone else.

We are all adults, and as adults we need to develop a sense of being thick skinned enough to hear what others have to say, and either keep it as being useful or dismiss it as being irrelevant.

I don't rejoice in ANY relationship's demise. I am not here to hate on anyone either.

But as an adult and a human being if I think someone is being used, I most often have NO problem telling them or at least giving them food for thought.

Some people however, do not want to hear ANYTHING that casts a shadow of doubt on their fantasy/fairytale story. So I leave them in their own little world. I'll comment, I will tell them upfront what I think if they ask, or make it my business by bringing incidents to the board. But, I will not feel too much pity when the sky comes crashing down.

I offer advice to warn of potholes, not to steer people into them or to scare them from travelling.

And YES, I want to hear why a relationship failed, what things he did, because it is a pattern that one day may be a warning signal to me.

Unlike some posters, I don't feel ASSURED my relationship is perfect, i feel it's a lot of work and will appreciate insight.

Perhaps not on the matters of being used for a visa, but most other issues relate to me or could relate to me at one point or another.

English, mi print out wah you post two weeks ago about the conversation some guy had with you at the resort on what his plans were to get to the states and I sent it to someone I know...mi seh seet deh innah black and white, I'm NOT MAKING THIS STUFF UP...seet deh smadi else know bout eeh

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

watch dem gaane back fi look fi it

[*JG* 2]

Well I think everyone who has shared a story on here is somewhat brave because they are not afraid to share their pain just like they shared their joy. What I do find funny and somewhat hypocritical is the fact that some people are so "happy" for people when they get their visa etc and make plenty of posts about how excited for each other they are but these same people never said anything to the person when they filed for the visa 1 month after meeting the SO but then 6 months after the SO gets here and leaves or some other drama everyone want to talk about how they saw the signs! WELL MY QUESTION IS IF YOU SAW THE SIGNS WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING? MAYBE YOU DIDN'T SAY IT ON THE BOARD BUT DID YOU PM THE PERSON? This is a rhetorical question I have about things I have seen and heard on this board.

Sol, speaking as someone who has been here for a while - I can tell you that many of the members have tried to say things, either on the board or in PMs - think back, it's not always well received - And you know that I personally will call something out if I see it - Even if I am not sure that I am correct - Cause I believe that a woman has a right to know - But not everyone can take hearing it, or wants to hear it, or sees that the person is just trying to have their best interests at heart.

Having been cheated on, and gone through it - I would NEVER EVER EVER want another woman to go through what I went through, and if I can speak up cause I see something, I am gonna do it - But not everyone is receptive to that -

On that note.......I have said things in PM's if I am concerned.........I mean come on, if you were on here long enough, you will remember the whole debacle I was involved in just cause I opened my big mouth? I have talked to some previous and current members about something they said that raised the hair on the back of my neck. I will PM and say this happened to me or this happened to someone I know....you might want to think about it.

That being said, I have often been wrong as well.

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Well I think everyone who has shared a story on here is somewhat brave because they are not afraid to share their pain just like they shared their joy. What I do find funny and somewhat hypocritical is the fact that some people are so "happy" for people when they get their visa etc and make plenty of posts about how excited for each other they are but these same people never said anything to the person when they filed for the visa 1 month after meeting the SO but then 6 months after the SO gets here and leaves or some other drama everyone want to talk about how they saw the signs! WELL MY QUESTION IS IF YOU SAW THE SIGNS WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING? MAYBE YOU DIDN'T SAY IT ON THE BOARD BUT DID YOU PM THE PERSON? This is a rhetorical question I have about things I have seen and heard on this board.

Well, I guess you are definitely right in that sense, I USED to talk my mind a lot more than I do, and was almost run out of town.

Now, when people post their bullshit, I'll question them on it and depending on their reaction, I'll move on from there.

And YES, even now there are people posting who I have my doubts, but I refrain from saying ish to them because I honestly don't think they want to hear.

If and when they break up, I would never say 'I knew it', because I didn;'t say it to them.

But in NowMrs case, I say it because I DID say it.

[dancehallquana 5]

I will put myself out here, by saying this, who cares why or how someone's relationship failed. Relationships are failing every day.... Be it for a CGs, baby mama drama, baby daddy drama or friend’s drama...etc. I feel that we are all adults on this site and if anyone of us decides to sleep with a dog, we were probably quite aware that he was a dog before we got bitten.

I care.

Because maybe if he was subtle, or it was a problem me and my husband experience, someone else's experience might help me or someone else.

We are all adults, and as adults we need to develop a sense of being thick skinned enough to hear what others have to say, and either keep it as being useful or dismiss it as being irrelevant.

I don't rejoice in ANY relationship's demise. I am not here to hate on anyone either.

But as an adult and a human being if I think someone is being used, I most often have NO problem telling them or at least giving them food for thought.

Some people however, do not want to hear ANYTHING that casts a shadow of doubt on their fantasy/fairytale story. So I leave them in their own little world. I'll comment, I will tell them upfront what I think if they ask, or make it my business by bringing incidents to the board. But, I will not feel too much pity when the sky comes crashing down.

I offer advice to warn of potholes, not to steer people into them or to scare them from travelling.

And YES, I want to hear why a relationship failed, what things he did, because it is a pattern that one day may be a warning signal to me.

Unlike some posters, I don't feel ASSURED my relationship is perfect, i feel it's a lot of work and will appreciate insight.

Perhaps not on the matters of being used for a visa, but most other issues relate to me or could relate to me at one point or another.

i don't want anyone to feel like the firing squad is on them, but these conversations are helpful and needed.. if is not in ur particular situation or season, then just waif for the next topic to be discussed LOL.. i do it ALLL the time..]

HIGHWAY WHAT ????

[sus 70]

I care.

Because maybe if he was subtle, or it was a problem me and my husband experience, someone else's experience might help me or someone else.

We are all adults, and as adults we need to develop a sense of being thick skinned enough to hear what others have to say, and either keep it as being useful or dismiss it as being irrelevant.

I don't rejoice in ANY relationship's demise. I am not here to hate on anyone either.

But as an adult and a human being if I think someone is being used, I most often have NO problem telling them or at least giving them food for thought.

Some people however, do not want to hear ANYTHING that casts a shadow of doubt on their fantasy/fairytale story. So I leave them in their own little world. I'll comment, I will tell them upfront what I think if they ask, or make it my business by bringing incidents to the board. But, I will not feel too much pity when the sky comes crashing down.

I offer advice to warn of potholes, not to steer people into them or to scare them from travelling.

And YES, I want to hear why a relationship failed, what things he did, because it is a pattern that one day may be a warning signal to me.

Unlike some posters, I don't feel ASSURED my relationship is perfect, i feel it's a lot of work and will appreciate insight.

Perhaps not on the matters of being used for a visa, but most other issues relate to me or could relate to me at one point or another.

I agree with you -

Off topic - Why, when I googled a support smilie did I find this:

[*JG* 2]

Yes Sus I know you are not one to keep your suspicions quiet but I am just wondering how vocal others are if they see something wrong. I know I for one will always let someone know if I think they are getting played or being mistreated prime example this girl in my department keeps getting beat up by her man. Well after awhile I got tired of seeing it and hearing about it so I talked to her about it. Ok that didn't work so then I talked to her good friend who in turn talked to her mom after that I just pray. She still has not left him but at least I can sleep better knowing I did what I thought was right in my heart now what she does from there is on her. I offered my assistance she can take it or leave it. All I am really saying is are we here to build each other up or are we here to laugh and gossip about all them who fall? I personally take no satisfaction in hearing about anyone being hurt in ANY relationship because LDR or otherwise it ALL HURTS the same.

That's all you can do. Mi stop chat lang time, I was told I didn't fit the "makeup of the room"...mi still a try figah out wah dat mean. It all boils down to, some people don't like to hear the truth. My cousin is getting married tomorrow and she asked me earlier this year to take part in her wedding. I told her no, I know what her man is about and what's he's been doing and I put it out there and all she could say was that I was jealous...if a so it go, find smadi else fi be your MOH... I just don't want to be a part of that...

WTH? Who told you that?

[^KK^ 3]

I will put myself out here, by saying this, who cares why or how someone's relationship failed. Relationships are failing every day.... Be it for a CGs, baby mama drama, baby daddy drama or friend’s drama...etc. I feel that we are all adults on this site and if anyone of us decides to sleep with a dog, we were probably quite aware that he was a dog before we got bitten.

I care.

Because maybe if he was subtle, or it was a problem me and my husband experience, someone else's experience might help me or someone else.

We are all adults, and as adults we need to develop a sense of being thick skinned enough to hear what others have to say, and either keep it as being useful or dismiss it as being irrelevant.

I don't rejoice in ANY relationship's demise. I am not here to hate on anyone either.

But as an adult and a human being if I think someone is being used, I most often have NO problem telling them or at least giving them food for thought.

Some people however, do not want to hear ANYTHING that casts a shadow of doubt on their fantasy/fairytale story. So I leave them in their own little world. I'll comment, I will tell them upfront what I think if they ask, or make it my business by bringing incidents to the board. But, I will not feel too much pity when the sky comes crashing down.

I offer advice to warn of potholes, not to steer people into them or to scare them from travelling.

And YES, I want to hear why a relationship failed, what things he did, because it is a pattern that one day may be a warning signal to me.

Unlike some posters, I don't feel ASSURED my relationship is perfect, i feel it's a lot of work and will appreciate insight.

Perhaps not on the matters of being used for a visa, but most other issues relate to me or could relate to me at one point or another.

You know...this was VERY well said...I agree with you JaEnglish...

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

sus, sus, sus ---

do I need to book a flight for you?

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Yes Sus I know you are not one to keep your suspicions quiet but I am just wondering how vocal others are if they see something wrong. I know I for one will always let someone know if I think they are getting played or being mistreated prime example this girl in my department keeps getting beat up by her man. Well after awhile I got tired of seeing it and hearing about it so I talked to her about it. Ok that didn't work so then I talked to her good friend who in turn talked to her mom after that I just pray. She still has not left him but at least I can sleep better knowing I did what I thought was right in my heart now what she does from there is on her. I offered my assistance she can take it or leave it. All I am really saying is are we here to build each other up or are we here to laugh and gossip about all them who fall? I personally take no satisfaction in hearing about anyone being hurt in ANY relationship because LDR or otherwise it ALL HURTS the same.

To be 100% honest, I have doubts about your relationship. I hope you don't see this as being mean, because it's not intended this way. Cannot bring a firm piece of evidence, but I must admit to having my doubts.