What I don't understand...

[Chamy and Gatita 3]

Regarding the original question, I have been asked this a lot, and I really don't understand why, but maybe that's just me.

Can anyone really explain why some people connect? There's people who have had a connection with another and just can't explain it, and then there are those that haven't, or have but think they can explain it. I have to say, I probably would not have been able to understand it if it hadn't happened to me. It's similar to having faith, or an act of faith, or a kind of intuition.

Our case wasn't totally devoid of communication-- but his English was really bad and I had one week of Spanish when we met. I was on a solo trip to south america and we met through friends. Neither of us was looking. It just happened, and I still can't explain it, except to say that to this day it seems clear that we were led to each other (and I'm about the opposite of religious as anyone gets!) Sure we get frustrated with the languages sometimes but overall we keep having revelations about previously undiscovered things in common, shared interests, goals, values, etc--

So i hope this is helpful! The bottom line in our case is yes it can happen no i cant explain it!

[Kar98 0]

Good for you! Thanks for sharing!

[trillium13 84]

Regarding the original question, I have been asked this a lot, and I really don't understand why, but maybe that's just me.

So i hope this is helpful! The bottom line in our case is yes it can happen no i cant explain it!

I think it makes perfect sense.

[borednad2 0]

Some folks enter classes to polish up their skills. It's one thing to speak English to someone you know and who is understanding of some deficiencies and another thing to speak conversational or professional English to strangers.

I wouldn't be so quick to make the assumption that there is no relationship when that is the first thing the beneficiary plans to do.

I didn't MAKE that assumption. So far only wayno has grasped the scope of my question.

[borednad2 0]

Some folks enter classes to polish up their skills. It's one thing to speak English to someone you know and who is understanding of some deficiencies and another thing to speak conversational or professional English to strangers.

I wouldn't be so quick to make the assumption that there is no relationship when that is the first thing the beneficiary plans to do.

I didn't MAKE that assumption. So far only wayno has grasped the scope of my question.

gosh but u know what you are right,i can't understand either how people communicate with such a language barrier and let alone fall inlove...im a filipina and i can't even understand "carabao english" being posted here sometimes...though im not sayin my english is good..hell no..and when i go to internet cafe and listening to some...again i said some filipinas chatting with their boyfriends in an english language i really cant understand what they're trying to say...so i guess for some of us...we need to learn english when we arrive in the US of A

[wowswift 3]

i couldn't understand his canadian and just liked his sideburns.

[Susita 175]

i couldn't understand his canadian and just liked his sideburns.

You know, I speak Spanish & so does my husband but at first we had a hard time understanding each other (he speaks Peruvian Spanish & I speak PuertoRican Spanish). My spanish is also filled with Spanglish - so it did take a while to get used to how each other speaks.

My twins barely spoke Spanish, but they understood a lot from going to PR. My husband barely spoke English. Somehow, they now communicate without a problem. The kids are speaking more Spanish now and my husband's English has gotten so much better. So maybe, over time, people can develop a relationship this way.

[GabachaYucateca 0]

Been reading a lot of posts here where the first thing the foreign spouse has to do after arriving is to attend English classes.

Now don't get me wrong, but how in the HELL does one fall in love when the couple can't even communicate with each other in a common language AND both partners live hundreds or thousands of miles away?

Well, my husband and I could communicate in a common language and fell in love. He also enrolled in ESL classes upon arriving...in fact, it was one of the first things he had to do.

How did that happen? Our common language was not English, but Spanish. And it was the first thing he had to do because the summer ESL classes at my place of employment had already started before he arrived and he would have missed the cut off for enrolling had it not been one of the first things he did after arriving.

And we TOTALLY got married just for the green card. Had we continued living in Mexico, we probably would have just continued living together as my working permit in Mexico wasn't contingent upon my relationship with him.