Should VisaJourney help everyone???

[Fandango 1,440]

Okok, everyone here is all helpful and whatnot...but at the end of the day, we don't know each other to trust each other's judgement.

If there's a case involving a past history with marriage fraud, or any other red flags includeing but not limited to incarceration, deportation, etc....is it really wise to advise someone on how to still proceed with a visa? It's really a double edged sword, cos at the same time, we're not here to judge one another...but are there any exceptions to the rules iyo?

With an instance of 'hrrmmm, that doesn't smell right'...do you ever second guess giving advice?

oh btw, stepping away for a while...if the flames start...I'll be back later

Edited July 1, 2006 by LisaD

[hafiz 1]

well there is no certain way to know.

[Ban Hammer 13,656]

Okok, everyone here is all helpful and whatnot...but at the end of the day, we don't know each other to trust each other's judgement.

If there's a case involving a past history with marriage fraud, or any other red flags includeing but not limited to incarceration, deportation, etc....is it really wise to advise someone on how to still proceed with a visa? It's really a double edged sword, cos at the same time, we're not here to judge one another...but are there any exceptions to the rules iyo?

With an instance of 'hrrmmm, that doesn't smell right'...do you ever second guess giving advice?

oh btw, stepping away for a while...if the flames start...I'll be back later

brawk brawk brawk

[camifree 2]

That's true... there's no way to know... I guess the only thing you could trust here is your common sense, uh?

[MichelleandCraig 1]

IMO, (see there I did it already without even thinking) heh. people should always make sure that it's an opinion type of statement when dispensing advice, especially anything legal....simply because of the legal technicalities. I doubt many, if any, people would come back to VJ and say, but so and so said I should blah blah blah, but I guess it could happen.(and for all I know, it has..?) I don't think there's anything wrong with giving advice to people who are seeking it, if you make it clear that its what YOU might do in that situation, or it's your opinion only. It gets kinda iffy to me when people make very strong statements about what the OP should do.(I'm not talking about cases where the questions are "what service center do I use, I'm located in blah blah, or can someone tell me where the A number is on the visa...those are obviously cut and dry questions, I'm simply talking about those "what do you think Ishould do?" type of questions) Just my thoughts on it. M.

[Welshcookie 17]

I guess my stance on it is that even if I have doubts about ppl's relationships it isn't my place to say.....can we really tell by a few online stories/interaction? so I figure give the correct info and leave ppl to figure out their own relationships.

[Nessa 23]

Most people here are adults, able to distinguish bad and good advice, and you don't have to do what other people advise you to, but you can listen to their advice and then judge if it's valuable or not.

I believe this forum was created for people to share their experiences, I feel bad when I see people that comes here and they never have and don't plan on going throught the visa process and are here just to offend us, or start s#it. It would be nice if those people were banned for life. Just my thoughts

[slim 1,533]

This is a website to help people with visa issues and the visa process, not to judge whethere their relationships are "worthy" of our help.

Look around... there are plenty of people (in real life, not just on VJ) who have more than enough relationship problems, and you can look at them and say "they don't need to be together" but yet they continue with their relationship..... and we can't take away their visa!

[Dixie_Peach 1]

This is a website to help people with visa issues and the visa process, not to judge whethere their relationships are "worthy" of our help.

Look around... there are plenty of people (in real life, not just on VJ) who have more than enough relationship problems, and you can look at them and say "they don't need to be together" but yet they continue with their relationship..... and we can't take away their visa!

[I'm Gone 60]

If someone asks for advice here, then they throw themselves open to whatever they get, the good, bad and ugly. Then it's up to them to figure out what advice they use keeping in mind what the advice cost.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I second THAT Slim! Plus, some people have problems for a while, and come out the other side just fine...like my own relationship. People should be given the benefit of the doubt until they prove they don't deserve that IMO; it's too quick with the judge and jury around here, and most other message boards you see it happening to people as well. Anyway, just piggybacking off Slim's comment...so on dispensing advice or not. M.

[I'm Gone 60]

I second THAT Slim! Plus, some people have problems for a while, and come out the other side just fine...like my own relationship. People should be given the benefit of the doubt until they prove they don't deserve that IMO; it's too quick with the judge and jury around here, and most other message boards you see it happening to people as well. Anyway, just piggybacking off Slim's comment...so on dispensing advice or not. M.

I guess you felt differently, but I'm not airing my dirty laundry here. If I'm having trouble filing out a form or obtaining a document I would ask for help here. Problems at home should stay at home or at least be PMed.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Well, I want to respond to that, but then I'll let this topic lie as far as us. I have no more a desire to get into it all again, than you do to read it again. Plus, Craig's trip to England has resolved a LOT of things, and we're doing just great. We both felt, at different times, with Craig starting that thread in fact that we just wanted to vent. I don't remember even soliciting advice either, it just happened, as it will on any thread like that. Neither of us had a problem with it, so why should anyone else, ya know? IMO, people can start threads about whatever they wish; people can read it or not. If it was something iffy I was wondering about 'airing' I always asked Craig if he minded first, so it really wasn't a biggie. I just used it as a place to let off steam, and also talk about the good moments. In retrospect, yes, it was a mistake. I don't believe that because of what I wrote however, I believe that because I got advice I *wasn't seeking and didn't take it well. Just as I said, I have a right to post whatever I wish, so do you have a right to respond however you wish and I admittedly wasn't prepared for some of the responses. People get a bit too hasty and judgemental at times as well tho. (as in some of the ridiculous remarks like 'is he even THERE anymore, and did you really do this or do that, where's a current pic of you??etc") As I said, I won't bring it up again, just wanted to say that in response to your post. Carry on with the topic... M.

Edited July 1, 2006 by MichelleandCraig

[Fandango 1,440]

Ok maybe I didn't clarify, cos I agree with everyone that it's not anyone's place to judge...so let me word it differently.

If you suspect fraud, would you still dispense advice? Not 'oh they're not suited for each other', but visa fraud. Would you still help?

I'm not trying to cause a row, I'm really just curious

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

Okok, everyone here is all helpful and whatnot...but at the end of the day, we don't know each other to trust each other's judgement.

If there's a case involving a past history with marriage fraud, or any other red flags includeing but not limited to incarceration, deportation, etc....is it really wise to advise someone on how to still proceed with a visa? It's really a double edged sword, cos at the same time, we're not here to judge one another...but are there any exceptions to the rules iyo?

With an instance of 'hrrmmm, that doesn't smell right'...do you ever second guess giving advice?

oh btw, stepping away for a while...if the flames start...I'll be back later

No need to think so much.