MOST IMPORTANT WORDS: PRENUP

[ANONYMOUSXXXXXX 0]

Here's the point. If you go into the marriage like I did this time, you could lose everything you worked your entire life for. Being older, and inheriting some money from my deceased parents, I owned a house with no mortgage, car, furniture, retirement, money in retirement and savings accounts,etc. Former divorce cost me $35,000.00, which I didn't contest (he wasn't happy was the reason, who knows???) So I think I am a fair person.

BUT why should I give away what I have worked so hard for if that person wants a divorce or came for a green card, or finds a girlfriend or whatever? Maybe you are younger with stars in your eyes, good luck to you.

Once you get married, your spouse is entitled to half of what you acquire together from then on. So to me, that is fair.

If the situation was reversed, I would have gladly signed. I don't expect a friggin free ride from somebody.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

[ANONYMOUSXXXXXX 0]

Why do you say that? I was just telling the truth.

[doodlebugg 10]

Once you get married, your spouse is entitled to half of what you acquire together from then on. So to me, that is fair.

So if it's fair why are you so pro-prenup? That doesn't make sense.

Not every state gives 1/2 of what was acquired after the marriage. All depends on where you live and how good your lawyer is.

[ANONYMOUSXXXXXX 0]

Once you get married, your spouse is entitled to half of what you acquire together from then on. So to me, that is fair.

So if it's fair why are you so pro-prenup? That doesn't make sense.

Not every state gives 1/2 of what was acquired after the marriage. All depends on where you live and how good your lawyer is.

OK, here's an example from a friend of mine. He was married for 25 years. He gave his wife his paycheck, took hardly anything for himself. Put her through law school and she also had a social worker's degree, but didn't work, was a "professional student". The month his daughter graduated from college (of which he paid almost all), she filed for divorce. Took half of his retirement, he had to refinance his house to give her cash, AND she had already inherited her mom's house so she had a place to live plus money. He had lived like a pauper all those years doing for them, and he got the shaft. Now is that fair?

[Nothing1234 2]

Once you get married, your spouse is entitled to half of what you acquire together from then on. So to me, that is fair.

So if it's fair why are you so pro-prenup? That doesn't make sense.

Not every state gives 1/2 of what was acquired after the marriage. All depends on where you live and how good your lawyer is.

OK, here's an example from a friend of mine. He was married for 25 years. He gave his wife his paycheck, took hardly anything for himself. Put her through law school and she also had a social worker's degree, but didn't work, was a "professional student". The month his daughter graduated from college (of which he paid almost all), she filed for divorce. Took half of his retirement, he had to refinance his house to give her cash, AND she had already inherited her mom's house so she had a place to live plus money. He had lived like a pauper all those years doing for them, and he got the shaft. Now is that fair?

To be honest, he sounds like a fool to put 25 years into a marriage where it was "take, take, take" as you stated and got nothing out of all those years? What about his beautiful daughter, home cooked meals, clean laundry, errands run for him, etc.?

OR maybe her side of the story is different? Being an at home parent and housekeeper (i say parent because mom and dads do it these days) is more than a FULL TIME JOB, it doesn't end Monday through Friday at 5pm. Plus its a thankless job that is just "expected" of some. You don't get overtime, you don't get a pension and there is not set salary to count on. Plus all those years alone with baby talk, kids events, sick babies/spouses, house cleaning, cooking, laundry... its not all its cracked up to be.

It's all how you spin the story.

[Staashi 371]

Do we know you around here? I realize you want to say anonymous but why not tell us who you are - are you one of the MENA ladies who has gone missing over the past year...we'd probably not call you a troll.

[AbbynSheryl 0]

PRENUP means u have already a doubt that the marriage will not last, if u going with the thinking about after divorce then it will happen, go into marriage with love and to give her the whole world and u see how much she will appreciate u and how muc she will give u. please think before the prenup?

abby n sheryl

[doodlebugg 10]

Once you get married, your spouse is entitled to half of what you acquire together from then on. So to me, that is fair.

So if it's fair why are you so pro-prenup? That doesn't make sense.

Not every state gives 1/2 of what was acquired after the marriage. All depends on where you live and how good your lawyer is.

OK, here's an example from a friend of mine. He was married for 25 years. He gave his wife his paycheck, took hardly anything for himself. Put her through law school and she also had a social worker's degree, but didn't work, was a "professional student". The month his daughter graduated from college (of which he paid almost all), she filed for divorce. Took half of his retirement, he had to refinance his house to give her cash, AND she had already inherited her mom's house so she had a place to live plus money. He had lived like a pauper all those years doing for them, and he got the shaft. Now is that fair?

Life isn't fair. I thought you said that getting 1/2 is fair. Maybe I misunderstood because you said "is" instead of "isn't" up above.

Honestly if you're in a marriage constantly worrying about whether or not you're paying too much or he's paying too much etc. then I have doubts it's gonna work out all rosey. Marriage just isn't like that. Sometimes he will contribute more to the marriage and sometimes she will. It's hardly ever 50/50 and if you have to dissect everything to add it all up that's just waaay too much energy imho.

My parents were pretty mid to low income when they got married. My dad enlisted so he could go to school via the GI Bill. My mom was an RN and while she worked nights, he studied and took care of the babies (nice Catholic family no birth control allowed ) and when she was home he was either in Dental School or driving a taxi to make extra money to feed the babies. Once he built up his practice and started bringing in the money she quit and stayed home with the kids. She hasn't worked in about 45 years and he's just now going to retire in June '09. Now....if they were to get divorced, which is very unlikely after 56 years of marriage at ages 77 and 79 though who knows nothing shocks me anymore, she would most definitely get half of everything. The woman can barely leave her house because of her MS so what else is she going to do. Would that be fair? I say yes. After that long of cooking him dinner, ironing his golf shirts, sitting through dinners, raising us kids I think she would deserve better than being kicked to the curb.

In no way shape or form though can you compare that to a couple who have been married for like 3 years, get divorced, the guy's an immigrant only here due to the marriage and wasn't the main contributer. Apples and oranges. A judge would have to be smokin crack to award that guy 1/2.

[Nothing1234 2]

Once you get married, your spouse is entitled to half of what you acquire together from then on. So to me, that is fair.

So if it's fair why are you so pro-prenup? That doesn't make sense.

Not every state gives 1/2 of what was acquired after the marriage. All depends on where you live and how good your lawyer is.

OK, here's an example from a friend of mine. He was married for 25 years. He gave his wife his paycheck, took hardly anything for himself. Put her through law school and she also had a social worker's degree, but didn't work, was a "professional student". The month his daughter graduated from college (of which he paid almost all), she filed for divorce. Took half of his retirement, he had to refinance his house to give her cash, AND she had already inherited her mom's house so she had a place to live plus money. He had lived like a pauper all those years doing for them, and he got the shaft. Now is that fair?

Life isn't fair. I thought you said that getting 1/2 is fair. Maybe I misunderstood because you said "is" instead of "isn't" up above.

Honestly if you're in a marriage constantly worrying about whether or not you're paying too much or he's paying too much etc. then I have doubts it's gonna work out all rosey. Marriage just isn't like that. Sometimes he will contribute more to the marriage and sometimes she will. It's hardly ever 50/50 and if you have to dissect everything to add it all up that's just waaay too much energy imho.

My parents were pretty mid to low income when they got married. My dad enlisted so he could go to school via the GI Bill. My mom was an RN and while she worked nights, he studied and took care of the babies (nice Catholic family no birth control allowed ) and when she was home he was either in Dental School or driving a taxi to make extra money to feed the babies. Once he built up his practice and started bringing in the money she quit and stayed home with the kids. She hasn't worked in about 45 years and he's just now going to retire in June '09. Now....if they were to get divorced, which is very unlikely after 56 years of marriage at ages 77 and 79 though who knows nothing shocks me anymore, she would most definitely get half of everything. The woman can barely leave her house because of her MS so what else is she going to do. Would that be fair? I say yes. After that long of cooking him dinner, ironing his golf shirts, sitting through dinners, raising us kids I think she would deserve better than being kicked to the curb.

In no way shape or form though can you compare that to a couple who have been married for like 3 years, get divorced, the guy's an immigrant only here due to the marriage and wasn't the main contributer. Apples and oranges. A judge would have to be smokin crack to award that guy 1/2.