NEED HELP!!!

[alice27 0]

Hello fellow vjrs,

I really dont know what to do now, I need to make this quick.

Well I arrived here Dec. and got married with my husband Jan. Now my AOS interview is next week and he said he wanted to cancel the sponsorship and would send me back to Philippine. We've been having problem with our marriage but we always try to make up, specially me. Well I am pregnant and and I cant go back to my country, I wouldn't know what to do really. As I already have 5yr old daughter with me that I brought here in US. Please Please I need an advice so bad, I felt so used and betrayed, that he took me away from my home and decide to return me just like that. I couldn't stop crying the whole time after I heard it from him. We were together for 3years before we got married.

I think I can fight this since I'm having his kid and I really didn't came here just for visa or anything. Earlier in our marriage I wanted to go back home but he was holding me. Now I cant go back there with another kid and has nothing at all.

If anyone would just help and and tell me where I could get a help. Of course I dont have money to pay for an attorney, my husband said he's going to get a lawyer. This is so embarrassing, Right now im just trying to get a live-in job and hopefully it'll work pretty good. I would appreciate an advice in my email. Miss_m_33@yahoo.com.

Thanks in advance.

[SuperDuper! 230]

A very sad situation, and I hope for you the best.

I cant believe that the US has a better life for you, pregnant or not, since you only been here a short time.

Your life and heart belongs in the Phils. Get husband to pay for a one-way tix back to your motherland, and GO!

Dont think about it. Just do it, and believe God will make a way for you, in a country that is home to you.

The US is a dismal, superficial place. Dont try to make it your own, it will not meet your expectations.

All the best.

[sjr09 155]

A very sad situation, and I hope for you the best.

I cant believe that the US has a better life for you, pregnant or not, since you only been here a short time.

Your life and heart belongs in the Phils. Get husband to pay for a one-way tix back to your motherland, and GO!

Dont think about it. Just do it, and believe God will make a way for you, in a country that is home to you.

The US is a dismal, superficial place. Dont try to make it your own, it will not meet your expectations.

All the best.

Wow your alot of help! If the U.S. is so dismal and superficial then why are you on a K1? sheesh I've seen alot of dismal places in the Philippines but at lest I have respect for the Philippines.

[wowswift 3]

try some professional help or free church help. adjusting at first is hard. the first year of marriage is hard too. work it out. you have to both be willing.

[sjr09 155]

try some professional help or free church help. adjusting at first is hard. the first year of marriage is hard too. work it out. you have to both be willing.

Yes do try professional help but the key word here is Willing! If not try looking around for free legal aid http://lawhelp.org/ is a nonprofit legal aid providers

Good luck.

[Marina-Del 10]

The fact that you are pregnant with his child wont make any difference to the situation. However, this is not to say that you have no hope. You say that you entered the marriage in good faith. If you think that you have a good chance to prove that you did not come into the marriage for the visa (or rather you think that he does NOT have a good chance showing that you did), then you can apply for AOS on your own. It's a bit complicated, but there is help out there for you! Check the local Catholic Charities in your area.

I'm truly sorry for your situation and especially for your young daughter that have had their life moved around, only to be messed around with again by this guy!

There are many people on here who can help you and give you details about how to file on your own. I'm sorry I don't more. But don't give up! There is a way for you to stay on your own if you so choose!

Edited May 31, 2009 by Marina-Del

[alice27 0]

Thank you so much for such empathy. I found a place to stay. But now my husband is holding me back and doesn't want me to leave. He said we should give it a try AGAIN. He's so confused and he's confusing me as well. First he wants me to pack my bags and leave the house and I did, then he asked me if I want to stay here in US or go back to Manila I couldn't decide that day I told him I don't know, my mind is everywhere trying to find a place to stay and what to do when my car runs out of gas and I wont have any money. I told him I want to stay I mean I have to right?? like what am I suppose to do in manila being pregnant and have a another kid and no job???? I could leave US but I'm only thinking about my kids. So I have to stay here,. and then after few hours he told me that it's hard for him to keep here and that he decided to just buy me a ticket back to manila and just support me. Yeah right! after hearing from him about an option of getting an abortion do you think I trust him that he'll support me when I'm 10 thousand miles away??? That day I left with my daughter, with only $400 and a stolen car! Cause he said he'll report to the police that the car was stolen. see what a heartless beast he is????

We stayed in motel and the next day I found a place to stay, with an old woman who needed someone to watch her and live with her and there would be some pay too and she let me bring my daughter and live with me. And then I went back to my husband's house to get the rest of my stuff, he said he wanted to talk so we did. He said he's sorry and he wanted to try again and promise not to say those words again. He said he treated me like a property and he's sorry. I said I had enough and I should move on with my life, then I heard it again that he would report the car stolen, this car Im talking was the one he bought for me. And to move around this big city you do need a car! specially when your pregnant and carrying another kid. He doesn't want me to get a life of my own. He wants me to be with him. So he didn't let us go so we're here again! I can't believe Im here again! Does anyone here have any opinion weather I made a right decision to stay??? I mean I could move on and start a new life without him. But I'm still confused because of this baby Im having. My AOS interview will be tomorrow and he's willing to do it now.

Forgive me for writing such along story out of my personal life. But I just wanted to share my experience to people who I know are going through the same thing right now,. well your not alone.. these people can really be abusive and we shouldn't let them! They think that they own us just because they brought us to their oh-so-great country they're wrong! I'd rather live a simple happy life surrounded by family and friends back in my country. I'm not saying everyone is the same I don't have anything against Americans. I'm sure there are a lot of good people around everywhere. But people can be really cruel specially when they're mad.

Oh well... seems like Im going to this interview tomorrow. Thanks for listening and wish me luck!

I wish everyone the best of luck as well,.

God speed...

[Bobby+Umit 161]

The fact that you are pregnant with his child wont make any difference to the situation. However, this is not to say that you have no hope. You say that you entered the marriage in good faith. If you think that you have a good chance to prove that you did not come into the marriage for the visa (or rather you think that he does NOT have a good chance showing that you did), then you can apply for AOS on your own. It's a bit complicated, but there is help out there for you! Check the local Catholic Charities in your area.

I'm truly sorry for your situation and especially for your young daughter that have had their life moved around, only to be messed around with again by this guy!

There are many people on here who can help you and give you details about how to file on your own. I'm sorry I don't more. But don't give up! There is a way for you to stay on your own if you so choose!

She can't apply for AOS on herself. Only removal of conditions would be possible, but she is not at that point.

If he pulls the affidavit of support, then she will have no choice but to go home.

Yes - she should contact a lawyer, but without that affidavit, it will be a tough attempt.

[Marina-Del 10]

The fact that you are pregnant with his child wont make any difference to the situation. However, this is not to say that you have no hope. You say that you entered the marriage in good faith. If you think that you have a good chance to prove that you did not come into the marriage for the visa (or rather you think that he does NOT have a good chance showing that you did), then you can apply for AOS on your own. It's a bit complicated, but there is help out there for you! Check the local Catholic Charities in your area.

I'm truly sorry for your situation and especially for your young daughter that have had their life moved around, only to be messed around with again by this guy!

There are many people on here who can help you and give you details about how to file on your own. I'm sorry I don't more. But don't give up! There is a way for you to stay on your own if you so choose!

She can't apply for AOS on herself. Only removal of conditions would be possible, but she is not at that point.

If he pulls the affidavit of support, then she will have no choice but to go home.

Yes - she should contact a lawyer, but without that affidavit, it will be a tough attempt.

Thanks for correcting me Bobby!!! My bad!

[Ngoc-Anh 1]

so sorry to hear about your situation!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Ditto what Bobby said. Unless the USC husband supports her adjustment of status; her K-1 will eventually run out and she will be -duh- out of status and subject to deportation. Not a risk I would want to take with one infant and a kid on the way

To the OP: best of luck; but do know that if you are not with your husband and he does not support your AOS, your chances of staying are pretty much non-existent.

[franklie 0]

Thank you so much for such empathy. I found a place to stay. But now my husband is holding me back and doesn't want me to leave. He said we should give it a try AGAIN. He's so confused and he's confusing me as well. First he wants me to pack my bags and leave the house and I did, then he asked me if I want to stay here in US or go back to Manila I couldn't decide that day I told him I don't know, my mind is everywhere trying to find a place to stay and what to do when my car runs out of gas and I wont have any money. I told him I want to stay I mean I have to right?? like what am I suppose to do in manila being pregnant and have a another kid and no job???? I could leave US but I'm only thinking about my kids. So I have to stay here,. and then after few hours he told me that it's hard for him to keep here and that he decided to just buy me a ticket back to manila and just support me. Yeah right! after hearing from him about an option of getting an abortion do you think I trust him that he'll support me when I'm 10 thousand miles away??? That day I left with my daughter, with only $400 and a stolen car! Cause he said he'll report to the police that the car was stolen. see what a heartless beast he is????

We stayed in motel and the next day I found a place to stay, with an old woman who needed someone to watch her and live with her and there would be some pay too and she let me bring my daughter and live with me. And then I went back to my husband's house to get the rest of my stuff, he said he wanted to talk so we did. He said he's sorry and he wanted to try again and promise not to say those words again. He said he treated me like a property and he's sorry. I said I had enough and I should move on with my life, then I heard it again that he would report the car stolen, this car Im talking was the one he bought for me. And to move around this big city you do need a car! specially when your pregnant and carrying another kid. He doesn't want me to get a life of my own. He wants me to be with him. So he didn't let us go so we're here again! I can't believe Im here again! Does anyone here have any opinion weather I made a right decision to stay??? I mean I could move on and start a new life without him. But I'm still confused because of this baby Im having. My AOS interview will be tomorrow and he's willing to do it now.

Forgive me for writing such along story out of my personal life. But I just wanted to share my experience to people who I know are going through the same thing right now,. well your not alone.. these people can really be abusive and we shouldn't let them! They think that they own us just because they brought us to their oh-so-great country they're wrong! I'd rather live a simple happy life surrounded by family and friends back in my country. I'm not saying everyone is the same I don't have anything against Americans. I'm sure there are a lot of good people around everywhere. But people can be really cruel specially when they're mad.

Oh well... seems like Im going to this interview tomorrow. Thanks for listening and wish me luck!

I wish everyone the best of luck as well,.

God speed...

If what is written here is true, and I have no reason to doubt that the OP is anything but truthful, what is being perpetrated on the OP is psychological abuse in order that her 'husband' will be able to control her like a slave.

To the OP, alice27, please get yourself and your youngun to a battered women's shelter post haste. Although in your posts you have not indicated that there has been any kind of physical abuse towards you or your child from a previous relationship, an individual with behaviours as demonstrated by your husband indicates that your 'husband' is not quite right mentally.

Your 'husband' needs counseling and an attitude adjustment before you should consider returning to him. If it means returning to the Phillipines to be with your parents' family and that you fall out of status so be it. If your 'husband' gets his sh!t together he can always file an I130 to bring you and the children back.

The safety and well-being of your children and yourself is more important than an AOS appointment.

May God be with you in this trying time

[^KK^ 3]

I wish you the best. At least go to interview for AOS and get greencard and worry about ROC later.

[alice27 0]

You guys! I really appreciate all the advice and support and to those who sent me an email.

Well it may sound funny but everything seems OK now, like I said my husband apologize and promise

not to do any of it ever again, and no, there was no physical abuse my in situation. It was just some sort of

miss understanding and my husband works two jobs with only 2-3hrs of sleep everyday so he was just probably

exhausted and got carried away by anger. I'm just going to try to understand him more often and maybe try not

to fight back?? Well we are family and I couldn't just give it up like this and this early of our marriage. We've only

been married for 6 months and I'd be weak if I leave him and not try to work things out. He was sincerely apologizing

and was begging me to stay, who am I to refuse. I do love him thats why I married him. And I did come here in the US

to build a family and not for a citizenship status.

So we went to my AOS interview yesterday and the interviewer We had was a woman and she was nice and all.

It lasted for 20min. Then she said I got approved and sent us home. After that, my husband called in sick and

took me out to dinner and handed me a dozen red roses and a dozen for my daughter too. So there, after what happened

he was the sweetest guy I've ever seen. Yes it does sounds cheesy!

So,. as much as I've learn in this experience I hope It would relate to some people who went through the process just like me.

I know there are many out there.

As we all know, marriage is not all happiness. Sometimes a bed of roses and sometimes there are thorns. Couples do fight but it's how

we do it that matters, and before starting an argument, consider if it's really worth it. It's OK to argue, but never use curse words to express your anger.

Always respect each other and keep communicating. It's the key! Give a marriage a try and another try and another try... as much as you can.

I know this isn't the end.. there would be more roughly road ahead. More roses and more thorns...

But hang in there. It's worth it!

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE!!