Good information here

[ziia 9]

Well, thanks for the advice and comments everyone, here's an update for those interested. Hang on......

I had to take a business trip out of country for 3 weeks plus and NOT looking forward to it. Anyway, before I leave I stocked the house with everything and we had a pretty big arguement. She rips into me in Russian which I don't understand, but I can get the general idea of her comments.

I think there's just some insecurity naturally being gone for this long. About 48 hours before I leave we get Advance Parole approval in the mail and agree that it would be great for her to join me a little later. HKG requires her to have a visa and we contact an express service. Great.

Now the day before I leave the place is stocked, and I leave her $400 extra. I'm going with about $275 personal funds, but payday is in a week and the company is providing my hotel, etc and I've got company cards if needed. She complains and is concerned about the amount I leave her with but I can't understand the reason. In a week there's more if needed.(Insecurity and a little apprehention, yes I can understand).

Well it escalates again and she needs more for unexpected emergencies. Big arguement. What a great way to see each other off. Take it then! Sh*T!

I'm gone about a week and the visa for her arrives. We are talking on the phone every few days and emails about daily. Things have calmed down.

It's the 30th and she asks for some funds plus additional for entertainment/shopping, etc. I have bought a ticket for her to join me and ask, "Wouldn't you rather shop here and budget our funds on this trip? You're coming here in 9 days and it would be better to enjoy some time and resources here"

She agrees and says good idea. Ok everything seems pretty smooth now I think. 2 days later I'm on the computer and paying bills and I see that a credit card I have has had about $544 worth of activity. I left this card in the desk drawer at home. So she in fact did go out with her friend and make a whirl through the mall. 5 department store charges. I call and put a "Hold" on the card. and become really irritated that she didn't say anything to me.

Well, I've had enough of this and write out formal letters to withdrawl the affidavit the support and Fed Ex them from the hotel. Done!

She arrives 3 days later and things are OK. I'm going to work every day and she asks for spending $. I got her a transport card and give her a few $ and ask her what $ she brought with her. "Not much you know I had to buy food". I tell her we can shop together on Saturday but I can't give her large funds now. I have to pay for the credit card you used without telling me. I guess that was a mistake, because it just "Hit the fan"!

I got yelled at for 20 minutes in Russian about how I degrade her and got a water bottle thrown at me.

Now I'm really just freaked out and just up and leave the hotel room. Downstairs I'm asking myself, "What the H@#L just happened?? This is NOT the woman I know and married!!" There's a knot in my stomach the size of a baseball.

I call my friend back in the States just because I need to have a relief and reality check. Man, I'm just in disbelief!

I leave for work and return in the afternoon. Things are calm and cool when I get back. OK I need to de-fuse this right away I tell myself and here's $50 for the day, we've got a planned day out tomorrow.

Now her cell phone doesn't work her and she already asked me to check it out. No signal, probably the sim card. I try to call my phone and in the process come accross 2 numbers in the address log. Domestic abuse hotline and some 800 number for battered women. Well SH*T!!

Pretty clear to me now. I take my friend's advice and cancel her return ticket home and buy her a one way ticket back to the city she lived in when I met her. Next time I see her in the afternoon I mention that it's probably the sim card not working in her phone and calmly say that I saw some phone numbers in the address book that I'm worried about. She says that her mother sometimes worries about her and gave her those numbers when she arrived in the states and they've been in there for many months. (I used this phone for 4 days over the Easter holiday and they were NOT in the address book). Then she says she"s got surprise to show me and opens a envelope for the AOS interview she got before she came on this trip. "I wanted to show you in person so I didn't say anything on the phone before I left. We must go together as you know darling" Appointment in about 40 days.

That was last night. Now today I'm working again, her visa expires in 6 days and she has to exit this country. If I just give her, her new travel ticket out of here believe me, there will be a major scene. It would have to be in a public place.

Sounds like a frikin' drama. I think I'll just check out of the hotel, leave her travel info for her and make sure I get the Advanced Parole paper before I leave.

Probably the BEST thing that happened is she came over to join me.

If you decided to go on this route, make sure you're 100% certain that you want to end things between you, because if you decide that you still "love her" or she cryes and begs after she's gonna see that she's screwed and you're sending her back and you decide to forgive and try again and go to the AOS interview together afterall, what you're planning to do right now can costitute a HUGE evidence of mental abuse that can help her kick you to the corner a year or two from now and adjust to Unconditional Residency on her own! Don't walk the line of abuse unless you're prepared to get read of her as we speak!

It's obvious she's taken you for a ride, so do what your instinct tells you to do. Good luck

Edited June 16, 2009 by ziia

[Elena Elena 0]

OMG! Leave her as soon as you can (just run-run-run and don't look back) and don't worry about her; she will take good care of herself. Women like her are usually all right....

I am Russian too. And I am sorry...

[soniew910 0]

You should get a consult with an immigration attorney. See what options you have.

[M.O 6]

thats funny..like a movie...shes using u and when she needs somethings she gets all nice like a kitty...just send her home..she gonna get mad lol...

can i ask how old are u and how old is she?!

[=FoxyBLUE= 2]

1 hour has been occupied from my work..this story stops me from working!

I feel so sorry........................not to the OP but to the Russian Girl! You're a BIG CATCH!

I just can't imagine myself doing that to my husband....

[borednad2 0]

Get rid of that Russian ####### before she starts with the calls to the police and abusive husband #######. And FFS man, don't try to "fix everything" by producing some offspring with her.

a russian?then i am no longer surprise.i bet ya she has a boyfriend on the side.i am willing to bet everything i have that she has a lover aside from the ....good thing i dont have that much hehehehhe.

[L179 1]

she won the jackpot it seems without having to spend a dollar for the ticket!

[milimelo 4,481]

Any news? Hope you left her in the hotel with ticket and money for cab to airport.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Any news? Hope you left her in the hotel with ticket and money for cab to airport.

Yeah, I'd also like an update. Has this soap opera gone into reruns for the remainder of the season?

[milimelo 4,481]

Any news? Hope you left her in the hotel with ticket and money for cab to airport.

Yeah, I'd also like an update. Has this soap opera gone into reruns for the remainder of the season?

No reruns yet. We're waiting to hear from OP how his trip back to US was without his wife that was left with a ticket back to Russia while the AP letter was taken so she can't return to the US.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

a russian?then i am no longer surprise.i bet ya she has a boyfriend on the side.i am willing to bet everything i have that she has a lover aside from the ....good thing i dont have that much hehehehhe.

judgmental, much? I bet you would not like if someone made the same idiotic assumptions about Phillipinas, right? Sheesh.

[redBlue 1]

a russian?then i am no longer surprise.i bet ya she has a boyfriend on the side.i am willing to bet everything i have that she has a lover aside from the ....good thing i dont have that much hehehehhe.

judgmental, much? I bet you would not like if someone made the same idiotic assumptions about Phillipinas, right? Sheesh.

Agree...too much judgmental..You can't assume that all Russians are the same and make such assumptions...

[almaty 19]

only a chopf##k nOob would make this type of statment about the russian people

[scandal 951]

a russian?then i am no longer surprise.i bet ya she has a boyfriend on the side.i am willing to bet everything i have that she has a lover aside from the ....good thing i dont have that much hehehehhe.

judgmental, much? I bet you would not like if someone made the same idiotic assumptions about Phillipinas, right? Sheesh.

Norie, you are a new member on VJ. Welcome aboard , hope you find it useful.

This is now the second time you've posted something outrageous and controversial. The first was a few days ago in the thread started by 'cool', in which you made incorrect statements about prenup agreements.

Please consider what you write before you post. If you write hurtful and offensive things, people will be offended, and will respond back accordingly.

If you don't have something constructive to say, consider not saying it at all.

[DaDa 1]

you got a tough decision to make. it's even more complicated if you're not renting and your lease isn't just about up.

sounds like she is stashing cash and waiting till the GC before she leaves in the car you buy her.

just bought my wife a slightly used el dorado to replace the new yorker she learned to drive on. this after living with her for 4 years and getting less than 5% #######. if i was a short timer like you i wouldn't be so loose with the cash.

This is but your picture in your signature to me is offensive!!!

O.k.