How do your wife feel when she about to leave her country

[hniHnitsuJ 8]

I really want to know all your VJ wife. How does your wife feels when she about to leave her country to be with you?

[Robert & Van 0]

For my wife it was ok for the first year, It was like a vacation for her. But then she started to get home sick. After 1 1/2 years she had to go back and see her Family. But after 2 weeks of being back in Vietnam she wanted to Come back to US.

[Dai. 7]

My wife can't wait to get out of Vietnam and for us start looking for houses in the US where were are both going to start looking at home decor to furnish our new home. She wants to find a job in the US and can't wait to school. She really wants to meet my whole family.

[Dave 'n' Hai Au 0]

I bring this up with my wife often since the time we decided to marry a year ago. Even though she has never lived away from home, her answers over the year have not changed. It is a new beginning and life for her and she is excited for it to begin. I think she is positive because she is young, but I also think she does not fully understand how huge this is. I don't know if any person can with so many unknowns about a new life. As a spouse, all I can do is give her my love and support and try to make the transition as easy as possible. She has an Aunt that she is close to and I have 3 sisters, all of them live nearby, so she will have plenty of female support. I told her that when she needs to go back for visit, there will always be a ticket for her or us to do so. An experience like Robert and Van had seems very possible. At the beginning, it will just be a day to day adjustment and we will deal with things as they come.

I just want to wish all the couples here on VJ the best of luck as you transition into your new lives together.

[Dave 'n' Hai Au 0]

I forgot a couple of things:

First of all good luck on interview Dai, I think it's today?

Has anyone heard from Luckytxn?

[Dai. 7]

I forgot a couple of things:

First of all good luck on interview Dai, I think it's today?

Has anyone heard from Luckytxn?

Thanks for the good luck wishes.. It's actually tomorrow morning in Vietnam time. So it's about less than 24 hours.

I once and a while talk to Luckytxn on messenger though he's been really busy starting up work again and his wife is going to school most of the time. I keep in touch with him time to time since he and I both are from Houston, Texas. He's probably so busy he won't come back to this forum often until it's time for him to do AOS.

[ThaitoUSA 15]

My fiancée had come to visit American for three weeks in Sept. 2007. Her mother had asked her to call often, but she told me that she had only called mom once on the first day. It's likely that she'll feel a bit homesick after several months here; Thai women usually miss their spicy food first and the most. However, I am also confident that she is looking forward to creating a new life here together with me. From the small bit of America she's seen, she really likes it and is looking forward to exploring more. Both of us expect to return to Thailand again, and since we're both teachers perhaps spending our summers there and the rest of the year here.

I had lived in Thailand for four years and went through a bit of culture shock during that time. Interestingly, the more challenging adjustment was returning home and getting used to life here; This is especially true going from teaching at a private university in Bangkok to public inner city middle school in Baltimore!

You can read about the stages of culture shock here:

http://www.kwintessential.co.uk/cultural-s...ock-stages.html

A similar article is available here:

http://shanghaiexpatlife.blogspot.com/2008...ture-shock.html

It should be noted that you can go back and forth between stages, that they do not always occur in the set order and sometimes you can experience several of them together.

[Anh map 2,098]

You mean after she burst into tears and said she wanted to go home 8 hours after arriving in the US?

There's a lot of apprehension. Moving so far from everything that is familiar. I think that I was more strerssed the week prior to her leaving home. I traveled over to make the trip together and had it in the back of my mind that she would get "cold feet" and not feel like leaving. The goodbye at the airport was tough. But she got on the plane.

My advice is to be patient and understanding. Every emotion that your wife feels is legitimate. Thank god there is internet communication so that people can communicate anytime they want. That helps to ease the transition. Help her to find things that are normal from her life before (food, fashion, family) to help.

Work hard at your relationship and things will be fine.

[Dai. 7]

How does your wife feel about leaving Vietnam Anh Loi? Is she excited to get to be with you in the states finally?

My wife can't wait to leave but I still have some work to take care of in June and I probably can't leave until I finish the job I am working on and I think I'll be done in Early July. I have to take care of all the loose ends before I leave but while I do that, my wife is going to go back home to her families house in Dong Nai for about a month and spend time with her mom the most she can before she leaves, since now she knows we are going pretty soon, for sure. We all fully expecting my wife and my mother in-law will be in tears when we go to the airport to go to America but since I work in Asia for 4 months per year I'll probably be in Thailand in about 7-8 months and we'll most likely make the trip to Vietnam. This will make her mom happy for sure.

[Dave 'n' Hai Au 0]

Dai brings up a point I think about- what is the family in VN. thinking? Hai Au has 1 sister who also lives at home so at least her mom and dad will not be alone. Hai Au does a lot for her family and it will leave a big hole when she moves. I know they want her to have a chance at a better life but sometimes I feel guilty like I am stealing something from them. Maybe I think too much!! Maybe being the foreigner and not being totally familiar with her culture makes me feel this way. I get along great with her family, it is just icing on the cake as far as reasons I want to have a life with her. Like Dai said, there will be tears all around at the airport when it is time to leave. Are there any traditions (party,gifts, etc.) in respect to her moving away? Any advice or thoughts are appreciated. Everyone Take Care and have a great day!

[Dai. 7]

Dai brings up a point I think about- what is the family in VN. thinking? Hai Au has 1 sister who also lives at home so at least her mom and dad will not be alone. Hai Au does a lot for her family and it will leave a big hole when she moves. I know they want her to have a chance at a better life but sometimes I feel guilty like I am stealing something from them. Maybe I think too much!! Maybe being the foreigner and not being totally familiar with her culture makes me feel this way. I get along great with her family, it is just icing on the cake as far as reasons I want to have a life with her. Like Dai said, there will be tears all around at the airport when it is time to leave. Are there any traditions (party,gifts, etc.) in respect to her moving away? Any advice or thoughts are appreciated. Everyone Take Care and have a great day!

The tradition of taking away their daughter is done at the marriage ceremony with gifts, wine, tea and a roast pig. If your wife's family needs a little money from time to time, send some money home to them to help out since she will be leaving a big hole in the family's everyday life. For instance my wife use to clean the house a lot and since she married me and left a year ago no one really cleans it so we found someone to clean the house and we pay them 100,000 Dong (about 6 USD) a week to clean the house. Good thing cost of living in Vietnam is pretty cheap. My wife's plan is to get a job in the US and plans to send money now and then to fill the hole her family is missing with out her being there. Just my opinion and thought.

[Thai family 0]

I will never know what she felt. It was a shock for her to arrive in December and experience one of our snowiest winters on record. Even though she had been away for college and career for several years, her parents did take her to see far flung relatives just prior to her departure. She is one of two children and an only daughter. I just try to put myself in her mother's shoes. I would not be able to let my only daughter leave permanently. When we were in Thailand she talked to her mother four times a day on her cell phone, so they are close. She grew up with maids doing everything and was rather shocked when she saw me doing everything myself here. She also was surprised that my daughter her age likes to sew. There was the concept that westerners didn't do such things.

We made a point of making it really easy for her to keep in touch with friends and family when she arrived here.

I'm sure everyone is different, but there are probably mixed feelings. I'm not sure she would have survived winter if there hadn't been the promise of moving to Florida.

Thai Mom

[luckytxn 2,264]

I forgot a couple of things:

First of all good luck on interview Dai, I think it's today?

Has anyone heard from Luckytxn?

Apologize. I have been working 6-7 days a week for over a month renovating a house that Trangs Aunt and Uncle bought here and are turning it into another hair cutting business and I have no friggin idea how to do it at all. I have been busy but promise to spend more time here as I have turned a corner and have more time to relax. Trang has received her SSN card and even gotten her EID card by now. (Fast I know). She goes to school monday-Friday and works Saturday and Sunday. Trang has been adjusting well now but the first few weeks were hard. I poromise to visit much more often and help with any that need it. God bless us all.

[hniHnitsuJ 8]

How does your wife feel about leaving Vietnam Anh Loi? Is she excited to get to be with you in the states finally?

My wife can't wait to leave but I still have some work to take care of in June and I probably can't leave until I finish the job I am working on and I think I'll be done in Early July. I have to take care of all the loose ends before I leave but while I do that, my wife is going to go back home to her families house in Dong Nai for about a month and spend time with her mom the most she can before she leaves, since now she knows we are going pretty soon, for sure. We all fully expecting my wife and my mother in-law will be in tears when we go to the airport to go to America but since I work in Asia for 4 months per year I'll probably be in Thailand in about 7-8 months and we'll most likely make the trip to Vietnam. This will make her mom happy for sure.

Dai, and All

All this time, I thought USCIS, NVC, and VN consulate, and interview were hard enough for the whole process. I was wrong. My wife finally got her visa, and it’s time she realize she has to leaves her family, friends behind to starting a new family with me. During this period, I am totally 100 % supporting her with this transition. It’s hard for me not to be with her since this is a tough time for her to leaves by herself, cause I have to work. I totally understand there will be a lot of tears going on at the airport. I did asked my wife if she wants to stay longer in VN, wait until I am going back to VN on July to pick her up. Like other saying, I am feeling like take away a daughter from her family. All I have to do like A map mention, work hard on my relationship, and treasure every moment when I am with her.

My wife is looking forward to starting a new family with me, and other hand she was wondering when will she ever get to going be back to VN to visiting her family. I told her, we will be back this Tet (New Year) to spend time with her family, and she give me a smile on her face, that make me feeling better.

Thanks for all your input.

Btw, Dai. Take of your Red Rocket T-shirt. 2009 Laker’s rules… hahahahaa..

[Dai. 7]

Btw, Dai. Take of your Red Rocket T-shirt. 2009 Laker’s rules… hahahahaa..

Hahaha Lakers are weak, Rockets took them to game 7 with out yao ming and tracy mcgrady. Thats just weak. HAHAHA but they will probably win the title cause orlando is weaker..