How to help adjust when here?

[David-and-Mae 15]

You need to give her some time to adjust herself and get acclimated to her new surroundings. Most of us here had to go through what she's going through right now. Some of us can easily come out of it while others have a hard time getting over it. It's not like we just moved to a different city... we moved to a new country and that's a lot for us to get used to. It would have helped her if she set her mind to all of these prior moving. Otherwise, it will be very, very hard for her to accept everything that's new to her.

Patience is what the two of you need... Let her know that you're there for her.

--Mae

[ryandgracey 2]

Been here for almost 2 months now and it was not hard for me nor for our daughter to adjust. My husband did not want me to feel isolated so he got me a Jeep. First thing I wanted to do was to get familiar with the differnt places where me and the baby could hang out i.e., the parks, the groceries, and the malls (of course!). I also got myself busy with planning and trying to help renovate the yard (I'm 9 weeks on the way so I can't do much), doing the household chores and getting on the laptop. I get to call my folks and friends every week, call my mother-in-law and my grandpa-in-law. I get to speak to my US relatives and friends too. I was an MD in the Phils and left my 2 clinics and yes, I get bored out of my mind sometimes. But being able to get around on my own makes a difference. Next month we are going to the Taste of Chicago...cna't wait for that!

I guess you've done what you could to ease her loneliness and so the rest must come from her and her willingness to get herself out of it.

[Trexy 0]

its not your problem anymore i guess because youve done your part, being here in usa is hard because life here is different from the life in pi...its just normal for your wife to miss everything in the pi but for me i wouldnt bother so much my husband of doing everything just to make me happy and not be sad because of missing pi coz i chose to be with my husband here in usa. though my husband is also doing something just to make me happy...i mean if your wife is too sad everyday then she should have not married a foreigner...hehehehehe...little things can make a person happy if he or she chooses to be happy but if that person chooses to be sad then its her problem. theres a lot things to do...clean the house, try gardening, try to go to school or try to have pets etc etc...anyway just relax its just part of adjusting life in usa. God bless you.

Very well said! Tama talaga lahat sinabi mo

[Completely 3]

My wife misses her job, misses her friends, misses her country.... It takes so long before she can work here, to get work permit. Sigh...

Hi.

Based on your post you did everything you can to help your wife get adjusted in the US..

She should have known all the consequences before leaving the Philippines.

Just give her time to adjust . Home sick is just in the mind set.

[swmbob 0]

Hmmmm....

.... There is no such thing as a filipino community or church here,.....

.....This is a small mountain town in southwestern Virginia....

.....there is no public transportation ehre,

..... and the one cab driver is out of town on vacation....

..... I found an asian market 30 minutes away....

She probably feels she moved from one barangay to another but.....8000 miles away.

I would be depressed too

[tallcoolone 102]

Hmmmm....

.... There is no such thing as a filipino community or church here,.....

.....This is a small mountain town in southwestern Virginia....

.....there is no public transportation ehre,

..... and the one cab driver is out of town on vacation....

..... I found an asian market 30 minutes away....

She probably feels she moved from one barangay to another but.....8000 miles away.

I would be depressed too

If I lived in this city I would consider sucking on 12 gauge shotgun................

[angel_eyes1976 0]

try to find if there's any volunteer work in the nursing home you're working... that way she'll be busy and she'll be with you ...until such time she can find paid work for herself.... i don't think volunteer work needs an EAD... or does it?

[swmbob 0]

If I lived in this city I would consider sucking on 12 gauge shotgun................

She may be mumbling to herself "What's with this guy, why "she" do this to me"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyKvD-4IxOY

Seriously, based upon his prior posts and the current situation, I would re-consider keeping her here. She recently arrived and should be ecstatic being with her honey....he's done everything to give her the means to communicate and stay in touch with friends....Homesickness is BS!!

I would re-consider keeping her here. He brought her here for both to be happy, if it ain't working....time for a change.

[tallcoolone 102]

If I lived in this city I would consider sucking on 12 gauge shotgun................

She may be mumbling to herself "What's with this guy, why "she" do this to me"

Classic Post, One of the best and fuuniest one I have read on this board

[tallcoolone 102]

I try my best to cook foods for her from the Philippines too, and other foods from here I try to introduce her to. I tried hard to have my mom be close to her too, and bought her a flat screen tv of the size she is accustomed to

Let me remind you that you are the Male in the relationship.

Why are you cooking and cleaning?

Your gonna spoil this girl so fast, and shortly she will be walking all over you (IF she's not already).

You are digging a hole that you will never recover from.

[headoverheels 0]

its not your problem anymore i guess because youve done your part, being here in usa is hard because life here is different from the life in pi...its just normal for your wife to miss everything in the pi but for me i wouldnt bother so much my husband of doing everything just to make me happy and not be sad because of missing pi coz i chose to be with my husband here in usa. though my husband is also doing something just to make me happy...i mean if your wife is too sad everyday then she should have not married a foreigner...hehehehehe...little things can make a person happy if he or she chooses to be happy but if that person chooses to be sad then its her problem. theres a lot things to do...clean the house, try gardening, try to go to school or try to have pets etc etc...anyway just relax its just part of adjusting life in usa. God bless you.

Very well said! Tama talaga lahat sinabi mo

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!

It's normal to get bored but you have so many options..you have to choose "to bore yourself or to get busy" During my first few months here I never get bored coz I want it that way I love my hubby so much that my world revolved around him and besides after all the pressures and stressed of being far away from each other getting bored can be set aside. But lately I got bored I need friends I need to interact with more people so I make new friends here , they invited me to a party once and since then we became friends they introduced to me to other people so now I have friends. They are not Filipinas though but still they are friends and they are good for my sanity. We are living in a small town with no FILIPINOS in the AREA it's just a matter of knowing and introducing yourself to people.

It's getting warmer now.. so their are so many things to do. You can make your lawn beautiful, make a garden, plants flowers or whatever you want to do..go for a bicycle ride, go for a walk know the place get used to it. My hubby's working 12 hours a day and I don't drive yet , I'm not working either so my goodness getting bored is a choice. I lived and work in manila for several years I know what the city life is. On your spare time take here out to the city or to different places go watch a movie ,shop til you drop or redecorate your house. If she still get bored .... Perhaps she doesn't love you that much..she is selfish and not considerate with all the hardships and long process you went through just to be together again instead she whine and complain of being BORED!!!! If she gets bored in the summer time how much more in the winter..GEEZZ baka kalbuhin nya buhok nya!!!

[Brettanne 1]

I understand her situation as I also went on the same situation the first few weeks I got here but like the other VJ's said she should expect what kind of life she have to face here. That is her choice anyway. When I got here i know i would be starting my life back to zero. I was a city girl, I had to give up the company that i worked for 9 years, now i live in a small town here in the US. I cant go anywhere alone until I get my drivers license. I miss my family of course, friends, my office, big malls, taxi, jeepney, traffic etc. hehe. For the meantime I go with my husband who drives all over the US for a living. I went to a lot of states so far, I call my mom anytime i want, I browse anything online, watch my phil. tv shows online, I chat to my friends and relatives every now and then, that keeps me busy while I dont have a job yet. Adjusting your life here in the US is not so easy but I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tormmorow.