8 Toxic personalities to avoid?

[sj5 4]

Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much. Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.

Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

• Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

• Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

• Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

• Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

• Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

• Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

• Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

• Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?

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It's so true! I'm just 28 years old but I learned enough to detect rotten behavior. I rather be alone than with a person putting me down.

Edited May 26, 2009 by sj5

[What Happened? 4]

Corrector Calvin

If you say the sky is blue he will say it isn't, it is light blue. You pack your bag for your fabulous vacation and he unpacks it because the socks should be on top.

Write an address on a letter and he will re-write all of your number 6's because the circle part is not wide enough.

Can you do anything right? Basically no, it needs to be corrected by Calvin.

Calvin will have you feeling as if you can get nothing right. You can't please him ever. You can spend hours preparing a lovely meal for him, only to be greeted by a complaint that something is not right. As soon as you give up and stop making the lovely meals then demeaning Debbie will take over. Next you are told you are lazy.

Eventually you stop saying the sky is a beautiful and clear blue today, you don't bother to pack the bags for the vacation, and send e-mails so that Calvin can't see or correct them.

I learned long ago that I am responsible for my own happiness. With that, all of these characters have less chance of stealing happiness away from me. Sometimes it means telling people about themselves, sometimes it means, accepting that not all people are kind, and sometimes it means enjoying the world on my own or changing the focus of my energy.

[It's me 1]

I met Disrespectful Danny yesterday!

[Gemmie 142]

It's funny, all of the people that I have issues with in my life shows one (soemtimes more than one) of those personalities. I definetely have a Naracistic Nancy, Debbie Downer and Judgemental Jim in my life. Not so easy to avoid when they're family, though.

[Kiv 32]

I met Disrespectful Danny yesterday!

I work with him ewww...

[Heracles 417]

There is the other type of head in the clouds Sandy, aka naive. There is a fine line between being optimistic to being outright delusional. Optimism, compassion and the desire for constant improvement is probably one of the best characteristics someone can have.

The characteristics that annoys me the most would be:

Narcissistic

Manipulative

Insincere

Disrespectful

Do you guys think certain cities or countries have more or less of these types than others? The bigger cities here tend to have a lot more of these types than smaller community-oriented places. Which raises the nature vs nurture question.

It looks like teenagers are being raised in a manner that promotes those personality types too.

Edited May 26, 2009 by Constellation

[Kar98 0]

Eff me, I know a person who combines ALL of these traits.

[Heracles 417]

Eff me, I know a person who combines ALL of these traits.

I had a few friends like that. The best thing I did was cut them off. It was always about them and their lives.

Edited May 26, 2009 by Constellation

[Nagishkaw 510]

All 10 on the list can be condensed into one word. Sociopath. It is a syndrome, a complex personality disorder. Maybe Brother Dean can come by and highlight.

[Nessa 23]

hmmm

[AlHayatZween 2]

Oooo! Dream Killing Keiths are the worst!!

[ThaitoUSA 15]

Levels of Consciousness: Like light or temperature, consciousness expresses itself over a spectum: There are different qualities expressed over a range. Within the unified field of consciousness these levels emerge.

Peace

Joy

Love

Reason

Acceptance

Willingness

Neutrality

Courage

_________

Pride

Anger

Desire

Fear

Grief

Apathy

Guilt

Shame

These levels correlate with Adolous Huxley's Perennial Philosophy, or in psychoanalysis the welfare vs emergency emotions. As one approaches the top of the chart, consciousness is expanded, so one's view of self and world increases; conversely as one approaches the bottom of the chart, consciousness is quite limited, so that one's self and the world are increasingly exclusionary. All meaning, significance, and purpose arise from context which is limited by one's perception. How one perceives the nightly news will depend on which point of view one is coming from.

A critical point is demarkated at the line between Pride and Courage. From Courage on up, are levels of Power, whereas from Pride down are levels of Force. Force relies upon an external source of energy, and when that is exhausted, it shall come to an end; whereas Power is intrinsic, relies upon no externals and so can ceaselessly supply energy. By analogy, a bullet fired from a gun shall go a certain distance and eventually drop to the ground, whereas gravity is a stationary energy field that influences all around it, without ever running out.

What's most amazing is that all of this can be confirmed by any honest person. All of the qualities above the line shall make one's muscles strong, while all below the line shall make one's muscles weak. Simply hold out your arm to the side with the palm facing the floor, have another person press down on your wrist with just a few ounces of pressure and resist the downward pressure so that the shoulder locks in place. Once you get a feel for that, have the person try again, this time you can hold in mind a negative attitude or emotion. Watch how simply they are able to push down your arm. In fact the person pushing down your arm can silently hold in mind these attitudes and your arm shall still respond correspondingly strong and weak. How come? Consciousness is a non-linear energy field, which means that it's not simply localized within you and me, it's everywhere at once. What one person is holding in mind shall affect those around that person. This is precisely how come some people can walk into a room and immediately get the vibe of the crowd.

Associating with any of the negative levels not only weakens the body's muscles but also disrupts the flow of energy to the body's organs and thymus gland, which regulates the immune system. Long term exposure results in sickness. Conversely, association with the positive levels energizes the body and boosts the immune system as well as killer cells. Negative correlates with a release of adrenaline, while positive correlates with endorphines.

Not only can thoughts be tested but so can attitudes, music, movies, personalities, countries, governments, books: the limit is human experience itself. By using this test, one need never be deceived again; whether as a buyer, student, citizen, or spiritual seeker.

Works Cited:

Bohm, David "An Ontological Basis for Quantum Theory"

Diamond, John "Your Body Doesn't Lie"

Goodheart, George "Applied Kinesiology"

Hawkins, David R. "Power vs Force"

----- "Truth vs Falsehood"

Maslow, Abraham "The Farther Reaches of Human Nature"

Penrose, Roger "Quantum Coherence and Consciousness"

Sheldrake, Rupert "Formative Causation"

Wilber, Ken "Transformations of Consciousness"

[Chica Yeyé 41]

All 10 on the list can be condensed into one word. Sociopath. It is a syndrome, a complex personality disorder. Maybe Brother Dean can come by and highlight.

did you call deano a psycho????????????????

WAIT. He is

Edited May 26, 2009 by *Len*

[one...two...tree 2,762]

[Kar98 0]

Pride

Anger

Desire

Fear

Grief

Apathy

Guilt

Shame

I'm getting all of these, in pretty much in that order, from eating at Taco Bell.