advice and help

[Sandrila 1]

I have to say that we are in control. If we are not we need to get in control.

Enough is enough.

You have seen this man CLEARLY for who is.

Don't let him make you a victim any longer.

I just see this man as a lazy, controlling, inconsiderate parasite.

I don't think there are many women who would continue any longer

doing what you have.

The fact that is mother enables him is unbelievable.

Tell him to let Mommy bail him out.

He could stay on his conditional residence but why would you want him any where near you or in a position that he could come back into your life.

YOU NEED TO GET ANGRY now...stop being so nice and trying to keep peace when all he has done wrecked your life and your sanity.

The best punishment is not to allow him to remain in this country as a free loader any longer.

[doodlebugg 10]

"He will choose you, disarm you with his words, and control you with his presence. He will delight you with his wit and his plans. He will show you a good time but you will always get the bill. He will smile and deceive you, and he will scare you with his eyes. And when he is through with you, and he will be through with you, he will desert you and take with him your innocence and your pride. You will be left much sadder but not a lot wiser, and for a long time you will wonder what happened and what you did wrong. And if another of his kind comes knocking on your door, will you open it?"

He sounds like he has psychopath, as you know you don't have to murder to be classified as one, he is killing you, just slowly.

ganga...how do you know my exhusband?????? that totally describes him to the T!!!

[sweet_peach 0]

Its good to hear from you.

so sorry you are still going through all of this. It it was me I would hurry and file as quickly as possible. I know if GA. you can file for a divorce yourself and get it done without a lawyer. I wounder if your state has the same and trick him into filing. If you use the same technique and threaten him. I would be calling the cops every chance I got even if he just looking at me wrong. I would call USCIS and see what could be done. Send Obama and email and tell his office whats going on. Basically you need to "leave a paper trail" to show how bad he is and hopefully he wont be able to adjust.

or

You can just let me know where you live and I will send my husband there to beat his azz .....

[sweet_peach 0]

Its good to hear from you.

so sorry you are still going through all of this. It it was me I would hurry and file as quickly as possible. I know if GA. you can file for a divorce yourself and get it done without a lawyer. I wounder if your state has the same and trick him into filing. If you use the same technique and threaten him. I would be calling the cops every chance I got even if he just looking at me wrong. I would call USCIS and see what could be done. Send Obama and email and tell his office whats going on. Basically you need to "leave a paper trail" to show how bad he is and hopefully he wont be able to adjust.

or

You can just let me know where you live and I will send my husband there to beat his azz .....

Sandrilla is right - you need to get angry. You need to watch Madea when the woman takes out her anger on her ex husband. Become a witch and do everything you can to make his life a total hell.

If he is still living in YOUR house put nair in his shampoo. Put all of his underware - if white - in the washing machine with red clothes. Speaking of underware - go buy some itching powder and put it in his underware and his socks. Just do things to irritate the hell out of him. Nothing to kill him just make his life a living hell.....

Ok everyone - make a list of some nice things Kat can do to the jerk....

[JeanneVictoria 55]

Cut off his arabic tv NOW! No money anymore for him. If he wants to eat charge him. Be a freaking resturant. Throw away his clothes that are in the dirty clothes hamper. Do nothing, I mean absolutely nothing for this guy. Let his arabic friends take care of him. I'm sure in about 10 mins they will be sending his sorry buns back to you! Madea is my hero!

[Ihavequestions 419]

Sandrilla is right - you need to get angry. You need to watch Madea when the woman takes out her anger on her ex husband. Become a witch and do everything you can to make his life a total hell.

If he is still living in YOUR house put nair in his shampoo. Put all of his underware - if white - in the washing machine with red clothes. Speaking of underware - go buy some itching powder and put it in his underware and his socks. Just do things to irritate the hell out of him. Nothing to kill him just make his life a living hell.....

Ok everyone - make a list of some nice things Kat can do to the jerk....

Have you ever heard the expression "Two wrongs don't make a right"? Sure, he's wrong but that doesn't mean she has to be wrong, too, and all of that stuff would be so wrong. If nothing else he would have a VAWA claim that would sail through.

Kat, I'm so sorry. I don't have any good advice to offer, but I really am sorry.

[sweet_peach 0]

Sandrilla is right - you need to get angry. You need to watch Madea when the woman takes out her anger on her ex husband. Become a witch and do everything you can to make his life a total hell.

If he is still living in YOUR house put nair in his shampoo. Put all of his underware - if white - in the washing machine with red clothes. Speaking of underware - go buy some itching powder and put it in his underware and his socks. Just do things to irritate the hell out of him. Nothing to kill him just make his life a living hell.....

Ok everyone - make a list of some nice things Kat can do to the jerk....

Have you ever heard the expression "Two wrongs don't make a right"? Sure, he's wrong but that doesn't mean she has to be wrong, too, and all of that stuff would be so wrong. If nothing else he would have a VAWA claim that would sail through.

Kat, I'm so sorry. I don't have any good advice to offer, but I really am sorry.

Have you read some of the stuff that he put her through while she was pregnant or had the baby? Let her tell you and then see if you still feel the same about "two wrongs dont make a right".

[Ihavequestions 419]

Sandrilla is right - you need to get angry. You need to watch Madea when the woman takes out her anger on her ex husband. Become a witch and do everything you can to make his life a total hell.

If he is still living in YOUR house put nair in his shampoo. Put all of his underware - if white - in the washing machine with red clothes. Speaking of underware - go buy some itching powder and put it in his underware and his socks. Just do things to irritate the hell out of him. Nothing to kill him just make his life a living hell.....

Ok everyone - make a list of some nice things Kat can do to the jerk....

Have you ever heard the expression "Two wrongs don't make a right"? Sure, he's wrong but that doesn't mean she has to be wrong, too, and all of that stuff would be so wrong. If nothing else he would have a VAWA claim that would sail through.

Kat, I'm so sorry. I don't have any good advice to offer, but I really am sorry.

Have you read some of the stuff that he put her through while she was pregnant or had the baby? Let her tell you and then see if you still feel the same about "two wrongs dont make a right".

As a matter of fact, I did read about it and that doesn't change my mind. She doesn't have to sink to his level - and his level is pretty low. She has every right to maintain her dignity and, whatever she may choose to do (keep him, let him go, whatever it is) she is the one who has to live with her decisions. I can't imagine putting Nair in his shampoo is something she'll look back on fondly. She's a better person than he is. Let her stay that way.

[Laveau 67]

Sandrilla is right - you need to get angry. You need to watch Madea when the woman takes out her anger on her ex husband. Become a witch and do everything you can to make his life a total hell.

If he is still living in YOUR house put nair in his shampoo. Put all of his underware - if white - in the washing machine with red clothes. Speaking of underware - go buy some itching powder and put it in his underware and his socks. Just do things to irritate the hell out of him. Nothing to kill him just make his life a living hell.....

Ok everyone - make a list of some nice things Kat can do to the jerk....

Have you ever heard the expression "Two wrongs don't make a right"? Sure, he's wrong but that doesn't mean she has to be wrong, too, and all of that stuff would be so wrong. If nothing else he would have a VAWA claim that would sail through.

Kat, I'm so sorry. I don't have any good advice to offer, but I really am sorry.

Have you read some of the stuff that he put her through while she was pregnant or had the baby? Let her tell you and then see if you still feel the same about "two wrongs dont make a right".

As a matter of fact, I did read about it and that doesn't change my mind. She doesn't have to sink to his level - and his level is pretty low. She has every right to maintain her dignity and, whatever she may choose to do (keep him, let him go, whatever it is) she is the one who has to live with her decisions. I can't imagine putting Nair in his shampoo is something she'll look back on fondly. She's a better person than he is. Let her stay that way.

I completely agree with ihq and I, too, have followed HIT's drama since before her husband arrived in the US. One can leave a bad relationship without resorting to juvenille behavior. She knows what to do and she knows the mature way to go about it.

HIT, hope you ultimately do what's right for you and your children.

[Staashi 371]

Kat here's your resource for legal advice:

Legal Aid Society of the Orange County Bar Association, Inc.

100 E. Robinson St.

Orlando, FL 32801

407/841-8310

[Nagishkaw 510]

I agree with IHQ. She does not need to stoop to his level, however tempting it is. Those are very dangerous grounds she could be treading on.

Clearly, he has sinned. Let the Almighty deal with him....which can be far worse than anything she or any of us can come up with revenge wise.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Kat here's your resource for legal advice:

Legal Aid Society of the Orange County Bar Association, Inc.

100 E. Robinson St.

Orlando, FL 32801

407/841-8310

There, made it bigger.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I agree with IHQ. She does not need to stoop to his level, however tempting it is. Those are very dangerous grounds she could be treading on.

Clearly, he has sinned. Let the Almighty deal with him....which can be far worse than anything she or any of us can come up with revenge wise.

I have already decided to let him leave in love and peace and with care. I am not an abuser nor am I abusive. I lost my son. I have lost my hope. But I am not a mean or abusive person and I will never be. He doesnt want to be with me. Thats not a crime. He just does not love me anymore and maybe never did. I have to go on some how some way... and I cant make things worse being mean. I need to make a path for him to leave with love and care and show him what America is. Its grace, forgiveness, justice and love. This is America. He may have treated me like ######. I am not doing it back. We have a baby together and he needs to know that he was loved at one time and I tried my hardest to make things work. He is my sons dad and I would never wish in a million years for him to suffer. He lost his son too. He has been despicable honestly. Not 24 hours a day but pretty awful. My family still loves me and I still have my other kids. Holding on to him to save my heart is what I did by ignoring and forgiving the bad stuff. My family said I am more woman than she would have been. Shes been telling me to kick his #### out since the beginning. Even she has lost hope and she is very open minded to mena culture and personalities.... Its his whole familys lack of empathy for me as a grieving mom that kills me.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

chica, time to move on. seriously.

[Nagishkaw 510]

Holding on to him to save my heart is what I did by ignoring and forgiving the bad stuff.

I think a lot of us have been guilty of that at some point in our lives. We don't want to think we failed or are a failure, as stupid as that sounds because we didn't fail at anything. Sister, I'am crying for you now, really I'm. I so can relate to your brokenness.