You know your husband's Egyptian when...

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I love this thread. It's sweet and funny and loving and totally true of Egyptian men!

Hi Tammy! Good to see you posting here again.

I have one for the list. You know your Husband's Egyptian when he tells you he never wants to hear the word "no" from his Wife.

[Aymsgirl 0]

This is not directed at anyone specific, and I'm not meaning to offend any of my ME/NA sisters, but I have read many posts in various threads here on ME/NA on the religion topic between the muslim husband and the non-muslim wife (or even muslim wife)...................

First, here are the locations in the Quran stating hijab is sunnah:

Allah Ta'ala says: "And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts from sin and not show of their adornment except only that which is apparent, and draw their headcovers over their necks and bosoms and not reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women (i.e., their sisters in Islam), or their female slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants free of physical desires, or small children who have no sense of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah altogether, O you Believers, in order that you may attain success.[An-Nur, 24:31]

O Prophet, Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their outer garments about themselves (when they go out). That is better so that they may be recognised and not molested. And Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. [Al-Ahzaab, 33:59]

I have read many posts where the wife is rather condesending and insulting towards her husbands religious views when it comes to his belief in wearing full hijab.

It's everyone's right, of course, to have their own opinion, but why would a woman marry a man when they clearly do not agree on the subject of full hijab or not? It's not fair to marry the guy, knowing he expects his wife to wear full hijab, then later on, speak of his religious view in an insulting or superior or condesending manner, especially in public, as if he's some irrational control freak. I feel sad for that husband, that his wife can do that to him, especially behind his back.

If marriage is about loving and respecting each other and each other's opinions, including the husband's requirement of the woman he loves asked to marry, to wear hijab, then how is it showing that husband love and respect by insulting his religious view? Why would a woman even marry the guy in the first place? Doesn't make sense to me.

My husband and I fully agree on the subject of full hijab (I do observe), otherwise, there is no way either of us could marry each other for life, even though we loved each other. We would not want the potential disagreement later on to cause problems in the future.

Just my 2 cents.....Zahra

I agree it is something that should be discussed prior to it happening or marriage and not taken lightly and a commitment made either way.

Also, I am not a scholar by any means but I have seen several translations of this some saying head coverings and some not. I am sure VW could come by and give us some insight on the different translations when she checks in. I don't have the time to research them here at work.

I feel as if you do it, do it for you and God. Don't do it because you are pressured and definately not because of what the neighbors would think. I have seen soooooooo much culture not faith coming out of EG and it has to do with what people think. I am glad that finally, finally, my husband is starting to realize some of it as to how some things have been intertwined and twisted. Who cares what your neighbors do as long as they aren't hurting anybody right? I always remember what Bridget said about the people coming and knocking on the door and yelling and fighting when she and her hubby married...what is it of their business to do this? Sorry, it just came to my mind this morning.

[Ihavequestions 419]

I have one for the list. You know your Husband's Egyptian when he tells you he never wants to hear the word "no" from his Wife.

Instead he likes to hear her say "fil mish-mish"!!!!!

What I don't understand is if the "requirement" gets lost/misinterpreted/whatever you want to call it in translation, why do women who read, write, and speak Arabic debate the issue? Wouldn't it be clear-cut among them?

[Aymsgirl 0]

I have one for the list. You know your Husband's Egyptian when he tells you he never wants to hear the word "no" from his Wife.

Instead he likes to hear her say "fil mish-mish"!!!!!

What I don't understand is if the "requirement" gets lost/misinterpreted/whatever you want to call it in translation, why do women who read, write, and speak Arabic debate the issue? Wouldn't it be clear-cut among them?

IHQ..I was acting smart one day and said Fil mish-mish. He looked at me and started busting out laughing!! He said where did you hear this word? LOL...I told him you have no idea what I know! LOL

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

Thanks Olivia, I had a thought that I had best come back to vj and see what's really going on. Refresh my memory for all this again, since I am going to be doing it soon enough, one more time!

[Jenn! 918]

If marriage is about loving and respecting each other and each other's opinions, including the husband's requirement of the woman he loves asked to marry, to wear hijab, then how is it showing that husband love and respect by insulting his religious view? Why would a woman even marry the guy in the first place? Doesn't make sense to me.

Maybe they agreed when they married, but people change. If that change isn't acceptable to the spouse, then what other option is there than to dissolve the marriage? It seems like an extreme solution to me, but I'm coming at it from a non-muslim perspective where I can't understand how a piece of cloth on one's head could be more important than one's marriage.

[doodlebugg 10]

I have read many posts where the wife is rather condesending and insulting towards her husbands religious views when it comes to his belief in wearing full hijab.

It's everyone's right, of course, to have their own opinion, but why would a woman marry a man when they clearly do not agree on the subject of full hijab or not? It's not fair to marry the guy, knowing he expects his wife to wear full hijab, then later on, speak of his religious view in an insulting or superior or condesending manner, especially in public, as if he's some irrational control freak. I feel sad for that husband, that his wife can do that to him, especially behind his back.

If marriage is about loving and respecting each other and each other's opinions, including the husband's requirement of the woman he loves asked to marry, to wear hijab, then how is it showing that husband love and respect by insulting his religious view? Why would a woman even marry the guy in the first place? Doesn't make sense to me.

My husband and I fully agree on the subject of full hijab (I do observe), otherwise, there is no way either of us could marry each other for life, even though we loved each other. We would not want the potential disagreement later on to cause problems in the future.

Just my 2 cents.....Zahra

Could you show us the posts where the wives are condescending to the husbands here regarding his religious beliefs? I am having brain fog I guess since I"ve never seen that here in all of the years I've been here. I don't know how you can say you mean no offense in one breath when it's followed by accusations of backbiting in the other.

As for why the person would change if they TRULY did it for God and not the husband, well I don't think you really have to stretch the imagination to figure it out. Sometimes in the US it is actually hard to wear hijab. Forget about the adjustment physically, especially in the summertime, but try walking in your own hometown and getting glares that go from people's toes to their eyes and are full of festering hatred. Try doing that everyday and tell me that you wouldn't at least question whether God wants you to endure this day in and day out. We are all human and frail and at times we do question things when they don't seem like the right thing to do under the circumstances.

Personally I believe that if a woman is frightened and chastised for wearing hijab, and in this sense I mean the scarf, not the rest of the clothing/attitude/etc, and if her husband cannot be with her 24/7 then it should be her choice to take it off during the times that she can be safe. I'm at work so i can't look anything up but there are a few places in the Quran that say that Allah makes it easy for you. If it is not easy and you are doing everything you should, .i.e. salat/dikr/fasting, etc. then I think it's ok to question whether or not it's right to take it off. That's my opinion and you can bash it to pieces but if personally I am sensing I'm in danger then I'd rather stay safe so that I can care for my children than be a veil martr and end up like that poor Egyptian pregnant woman who was stabbed 18 times by some whackjob.

[Aymsgirl 0]

I agree Bridget. I think it could be hard here and the point is to not draw attention to yourself right? Sometimes I see where that is exactly what is being done. Now, once again not to offend anybody because it is your choice but where I live it is rare and I see it draws attention to the woman.

If you are in fear of your safety I would say do what you have to do.(this is my opinion only and doesn't mean that I am correct) I have always been taught that the religion is a religion of ease and it should not be made to make you feel like something is a huge struggle and it should be easy to start living it like you should. You learn something work on implementing it in your life but little by little. Some jumping in full force find it overwhelming and begin to resent the religion and fall away from Allah.

Again, this is my view and I may not be correct. I pray that if somebody is suffering with this they find the answer in their heart between them and Allah.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I have one for the list. You know your Husband's Egyptian when he tells you he never wants to hear the word "no" from his Wife.

Instead he likes to hear her say "fil mish-mish"!!!!!

What I don't understand is if the "requirement" gets lost/misinterpreted/whatever you want to call it in translation, why do women who read, write, and speak Arabic debate the issue? Wouldn't it be clear-cut among them?

IHQ..I was acting smart one day and said Fil mish-mish. He looked at me and started busting out laughing!! He said where did you hear this word? LOL...I told him you have no idea what I know! LOL

Now Waleed is constantly requesting me to say it. He laughs every time and he loves asking me in English to say it so others can hear me in Arabic and give them a laugh too. Everyone thinks it's hilarious.

Thanks Olivia, I had a thought that I had best come back to vj and see what's really going on. Refresh my memory for all this again, since I am going to be doing it soon enough, one more time!

So you got the divorce finally?

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Has anyone read the story of Bilal (ra)? How he accepted Islam as a slave and when his master found out, he took him out to the desert and ordered him to renounce his faith? And when he refused, his master tied him down to the hot desert sand and began to pile boulders on top of him, all the while demanding that he renounce his faith? And despite the torture, Bilal (ra) kept repeating "Ahad, Ahad," one, one, denying the polytheism his master was demanding of him.

When the suffering became to great for some of the companions in Mecca, did they leave parts of the religion that were causing them too much trouble? No, instead they migrated to Abyssinia and then later to Medina.

No matter what we suffer here, it is very rarely up to the level of suffering of the Prophet (saws) and his companions (ra).

For better or for worse, muslims view hijab as a sign of faith. It isn't simply a piece of cloth - it's a visible sign of submission to Allah (swt). If one's relationship is based on Allah (swt) first and foremost, then leaving an aspect of the religion is taking out a plank upon which the relationship is based.

I have no desire to debate whether or not hijab is required. Suffice to say that if one looks to the ulema of the last 1400 years, there's an obvious consensus and it's not that it's a choice.

[doodlebugg 10]

If you are in fear of your safety I would say do what you have to do.(this is my opinion only and doesn't mean that I am correct)

I agree, especially where children are involved. In the case of the Egyptian woman who was just stabbed 18 times she was pregnant.

World News

German Prosecutors: Racial hate behind court stab

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Refer to a friend

© AP

2009-07-03 20:17:02 -

BERLIN (AP) - Prosecutors say a 28-year-old German who fatally stabbed a 31-year-old pregnant Egyptian woman in a courtroom in eastern Germany was driven by a deep hate of foreigners.

Dresden prosecutor Christian Avenarius said Friday that authorities believe the man, who was not identified, was acting on his own and did not belong to any far-right groups, but that he harbored a deep hatred of Muslims. The woman was to testify againt him in court.

«It was very clearly a xenophobic attack of a fanatical lone wolf,» Avenarius said.

The man remains in detention and prosecutors have opened an investigation on suspicion of murder for stabbing the woman 18 times during a trial on Wednesday.

The woman's husband was also injured when he tried to intervene to protect her. He remained hospitalized in critical condition Friday.

Authorities have not released the identities of the woman or her husband.

The woman was to testify against the young man in a court case brought on after she filed a complaint with authorities against him in 2008 for calling her an «Islamist» and a «terrorist» on a playground.

Avenarius said the defendant, a Russian of German descent who immigrated to Germany in 2003, had expressed contempt for Muslims at the start of the trial.

The stabbing has triggered calls by some politicians and rights groups for stricter security in German courts.

God forgive me but my children come first. This woman was pregnant.

I personally have been the victim of vandalism in the past couple of months and while I can't pinpoint what started it I can sure as heck speculate. The town that I live in is extremely white and known for being very prejudice. It's getting better but it has a loooong way to go. I am the only person in town that wears hijab. If I thought for one milli-second that my wearing hijab was putting my kids at risk in any way shape or form I would definitely take it off and thank you God my husband would stand beside me in that decision. My faith would be no less than it was when I had it on. I would be willing to answer to God for what I did for the sake of my family and if it means burning in hell for eternity because I wanted to keep my family out of danger than so be it. I never started out wanting to be a martyr.

Some jumping in full force find it overwhelming and begin to resent the religion and fall away from Allah.

That is true but also sometimes circumstances around you change. Let's face it there are a ton of ignorant Americans out there that see a hijab and see the enemy. Under those circumstances is it fair to have the woman, historically the weaker one physically, to be the one wearing the religion that these people despise on her sleeve while the man is allowed to walk about with no guesses as to what his religious affiliation is?

I guess it's digressing from the topic of Egypt but not entirely since this murder was directly due to the woman wearing hijab.

[Aymsgirl 0]

If you are in fear of your safety I would say do what you have to do.(this is my opinion only and doesn't mean that I am correct)

I agree, especially where children are involved. In the case of the Egyptian woman who was just stabbed 18 times she was pregnant.

World News

German Prosecutors: Racial hate behind court stab

Print article

Refer to a friend

© AP

2009-07-03 20:17:02 -

BERLIN (AP) - Prosecutors say a 28-year-old German who fatally stabbed a 31-year-old pregnant Egyptian woman in a courtroom in eastern Germany was driven by a deep hate of foreigners.

Dresden prosecutor Christian Avenarius said Friday that authorities believe the man, who was not identified, was acting on his own and did not belong to any far-right groups, but that he harbored a deep hatred of Muslims. The woman was to testify againt him in court.

«It was very clearly a xenophobic attack of a fanatical lone wolf,» Avenarius said.

The man remains in detention and prosecutors have opened an investigation on suspicion of murder for stabbing the woman 18 times during a trial on Wednesday.

The woman's husband was also injured when he tried to intervene to protect her. He remained hospitalized in critical condition Friday.

Authorities have not released the identities of the woman or her husband.

The woman was to testify against the young man in a court case brought on after she filed a complaint with authorities against him in 2008 for calling her an «Islamist» and a «terrorist» on a playground.

Avenarius said the defendant, a Russian of German descent who immigrated to Germany in 2003, had expressed contempt for Muslims at the start of the trial.

The stabbing has triggered calls by some politicians and rights groups for stricter security in German courts.

God forgive me but my children come first. This woman was pregnant.

I personally have been the victim of vandalism in the past couple of months and while I can't pinpoint what started it I can sure as heck speculate. The town that I live in is extremely white and known for being very prejudice. It's getting better but it has a loooong way to go. I am the only person in town that wears hijab. If I thought for one milli-second that my wearing hijab was putting my kids at risk in any way shape or form I would definitely take it off and thank you God my husband would stand beside me in that decision. My faith would be no less than it was when I had it on. I would be willing to answer to God for what I did for the sake of my family and if it means burning in hell for eternity because I wanted to keep my family out of danger than so be it. I never started out wanting to be a martyr.

Some jumping in full force find it overwhelming and begin to resent the religion and fall away from Allah.

That is true but also sometimes circumstances around you change. Let's face it there are a ton of ignorant Americans out there that see a hijab and see the enemy. Under those circumstances is it fair to have the woman, historically the weaker one physically, to be the one wearing the religion that these people despise on her sleeve while the man is allowed to walk about with no guesses as to what his religious affiliation is?

I guess it's digressing from the topic of Egypt but not entirely since this murder was directly due to the woman wearing hijab.

This man is seriously a lunatic. I hadn't read this until today.