1st wedding anniv... forever ruined.. sad

[scotty's girl 1]

hi! like what they said, wala pala silang anak, so why still keep in touch with her...

just remain strong and try to be open to your hubbby. as for the ex, prang nang-aasar siya ha!

my fiance also has communication with his ex kasi they've got kids. may bf na rin siya, kaso feeling ko, gusto pa din niya ang fiance ko, but i trust him naman and i know na wla na sa kanya yung past nila.

malalagpasan mo rin yan. just pray and take good care of yourself and the baby...

[adiiann 163]

Sheesh!

Selosa akong tao... hehehehe... I wouldn't know how will I react, if I am in that situation. Maldita kasi ako, before pinapili ko yong fiance ko... sabi ko.. your bestfriend (girl) or ako.... Haba naman ng hair... ako ang pinili.. tapos he said if it makes me uncomfortable that he is talking to her bestfriend... iiwasan na lang daw nya.. until after 2 years... I got over it... tapos nag-asawa na rin yong bestfriend nya... so pinayagan ko na siyang mag-hang out dun paminsan-minsan...

Hey! Stay stronger!.... mas i-work out nyo pa yong communication nyo sa isa't isa....

[sj5 4]

Kung may anak sila, it's normal for them to keep in touch for their children. Since, they don't have children dapat wala na silang connections or they can be friend without benefits.Wala naman'g problema if friends pa rin sila, pero dapat may limitations.

Ang asawa ko may ex rin, pero hindi naman masyadong tumatawag nor makipagkita sa akin. Kung gusto nya, then pupunta sya sa bahay namin or somewhere. Tatanungin ko sya if ang asawa ko ba ang may pinakamalaking titi nakita nya sa buong buhay nya?

Ang asawa ko, doesn't mind to meet my ex(dahil share custody kami noon kaya hindi talaga ma avoid ng asawa ko si baby daddy, ngayon akin ang full custody) so I asked my ex-my baby daddy if he wants to meet my guy few years ago. Sagot ng ex, "NO! NEVER NEVER, Fvking American! I will smash his face!" So sabi ko, "oh well, my guy just welcomed you

Ingatan mo si baby, at sarili mo.

[sj5 4]

Sheesh!

Selosa akong tao... hehehehe... I wouldn't know how will I react, if I am in that situation. Maldita kasi ako, before pinapili ko yong fiance ko... sabi ko.. your bestfriend (girl) or ako.... Haba naman ng hair... ako ang pinili.. tapos he said if it makes me uncomfortable that he is talking to her bestfriend... iiwasan na lang daw nya.. until after 2 years... I got over it... tapos nag-asawa na rin yong bestfriend nya... so pinayagan ko na siyang mag-hang out dun paminsan-minsan...

Hey! Stay stronger!.... mas i-work out nyo pa yong communication nyo sa isa't isa....

Ang asawa ko may best friend rin. Partner sila sa business-Behavioral Services. Yong best friend nya, inaasar ako lagi noon.One day, she said, "I'm afraid to stay in this office by myself."Sinagot ko sya, "Oh don't worry, I'm here." Sa akin pala takot dahil nga tahimik ako, hindi nya alam na mas talkactive ako sa kanya. Pinapagselos nya ako minsan. Kahit ano lang pinagsasabi, na make me feel excluded in my husband's life/they do things together without me. Ang asawa ko hindi makagalaw that time.Long short story, iba na naman ang kalokohan nya sa akin noon.Imagine, I go to their office everyday tapos aasarin ako. Long short story, pinagsabihan ko ang asawa ko nah, she have to quit teasing/aggitating/upsetting me. I have no idea what she wants from me?I don't want to damage your friendship with her if you care. Hindi na nya ako inaasar. She treats me even better now. Sometimes, we hang out together without my husband. I didn't hear her saying negative feed backs against my hubby. All I know, that some people enjoy teasing others. In fact, mabait naman pala best friend ng asawa ko.

I never see them doing malicious acts nor conversing inappropriate way. And plus, wala naman akong nakikitang suspicious sa asawa ko. If there is, I'm sure, I would question my husband.

[o0pink0o 3]

Ay naku! hindi pwede sa akin yang bisibisita na wala namang importanteng rason (like baby). If I were you, mag-aalaga ako ng 3 doberman na ayaw ng amoy ng x ng asawa ko joke lang! Seriously, nakakapagtaka naman kung bakit ganyan pa rin ang tratuhan nila sa isa't isa or bakit ganyan pa rin x ng asawa mo sa sawa mo. Hindi na dapat ganyan, I mean hindi naman sila na dapat nagspend pa ng ganyang klaseng time for each other.

You need to tell your husband na there should be space na between him and his x. Kung ang ginagawang rason ng x nya is yung aso nyo eh di paalaga mo sa kanya si frosty even a day or two sa bahay nila. Buti na lang at yung ex-wife ng asawa ko eh nasa ibang state nakatira at wala na silang komunikasyon ng asawa ko ever. Kailangan talagang maintindihan ng asawa mo ito. Ask mo cya kung ano gagawin nya if he is in your situation. Ask mo kung ano mararamdaman nya. Sana naman maintindihan ng asawa mo nararamdaman mo at sana rin ay matapos na tong problem mo.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

I really feel sorry for you for what you are going through. You're feeling sad and lonely. Because of your husband and his selfish "x". Seems that you spent your whole night anniversary in your room alone while your husband enjoyed watching movie with his "x". And, inside your own home pa ha?! WOW! That was so irresponsible on your husband's part. He chose his "x" over you and enjoyed with her and just let you go away? Jesus Christ girl! Why would you tolerate sensitive things like that? I'm not telling you to do such violent move but, you have all the right to say NO and and to tell your husband she's NOT ALLOWED in your house! Her reason is that she just want to see her dog? Then girl give that doggie back to her. My opinion...,what the "x" doing is absolutely not right! Yes, she have to move on with her life. And stop bugging your husband. They have no kids therefore she needs to back off and stop having communication with your hubby. For God sake he's your husband now. There's no reason for her to still have contact with him at all. But frankly, you can't put all the blame on her. Your husband is also responsible for it. I'm pretty sure he loves you but dont care enough to consider your feelings. Otherwise, no matter how desperate she is to be friends with your husband, he would never let her intrude your life. Bilang mabait at mapagmahal na asawa, you dont deserved to be treated like that. I know you love your husband dearly. And all you want is a happy and complete family. Ganun naman kasi talaga tayong mga filipina...Minsan nga kahit walang makain basta magkakasama at buo ang pamilya masaya pa rin diba! Talk to your husband in a nice and loving way, and explain to him everything about his "x". Asawa ka niya and of course mas mahalaga ka higit kanino man, so I know maiintindihan ka niya sa problema mo. Ang problema, hindi nawawala yan sa mag-asawa...and to avoid conflict and fight dapat pinagu-usapan nang sa ganun maayos ng maaga. I'm a jealous one too! At meron din si hubby ex and used to call him almost everyday just for nothing. Also wanted to be friends with him. But hubby ko didnt want to and coz he dont want me to feel jealous. For him, It's not only that he feels awkward and uncomfortable but also feel disrespectful. Nagu-usap lang sila if it's about the kid but other than that wala...

Usap kayo ni hubby mo ng masinsinan...At wag magi-isip ng masyado makakasama yan sa baby mo!

May God Bless You!

Edited May 23, 2009 by ~hAppyndinlOve~

[mybaby 0]

Hi T and A

I agree sa sinabi ni happyinlove, kung yung aso ang dahilan, then ibigay mo ulit sa X niya pra talagang wala nang rason pra mag-usap pa sila nang hubby mo. Grabe karin magpasensya, na-appreciate kita dahil pasensyosa ka, but kawawa naman si baby sa ginagawa mo T and A. Base sa post mo love mo na talaga sii Frosty, but girl, ang aso lagi and dinadahilan nang X nang asawa mo para pumunta sa inyo.. Ako naiinis sa kanya eh, gusto ko ngang sabunutan o kaya ito

Baka naman pwede nyong i-settle yung case about sa aso nila nuon, sabihin mo turn over mo ulit sa X niya, as far as I remember they have legal stuffs with Frosty,then sabihin mo sa kanya na i-settle nya lahat yon, dahil hindi mi kaya ang ganyang sitwasyo. Kung ako nasa lugar mo pinapili ko na sya, X niya or ikaw! Etry mo nalang hanap ibang dog kapalit ni Frosty, alam ko mahirap yan dahil mahal mo na si Frosty at alam ko rin ang feelings dahil may-alaga din akong dog,,pero girl, ayaw mo naman sigurong palagi nalang ganyan, pinahihirapan mo sarili mo dyan Hindi na pwedeng maguilty asawa mo kung masaktan man nya damdamin nang X mo (feel ko lang talaga yan ang feelings nang hubby mo kaya di masabi-sabi sa X niya ang tutuong salu-obin nya) , dahil subrang layo na nang X niya sa boundery. Kailangan niyang mamili na.. Kung wala na si Frosty wala nang rason pa ang X niya, kung ayaw naman tanggapin nang X niya si Frosty ulit, sabihin mo patakaran mo.. " Isusoli mo si Frosty sa kanya dahil ayaw mo nang pumunta pa xa sa inyo at nahihirapan ka kapag ka-usap nang hubby mo sya, kung ayaw niyang tanggapin, sabihin mo, then, wag ka nang umeksina pa dahil, may iba nang buhay ang X niya at dapat move on narin xa lalo na nga't may BF narin xa.

T and A, sorry kung medyo rude ako, express ko lang naman din sayo kung ano point of view ko, kasi subrang hirap dinadaanan mo,,but I am very proud of you dahil tini-try mong maging strong,,wawa lang talaga si baby, dahil affected xa sa lahat nang emotions mo

I will also pray for you that it will end soon,you really deserved to be happy,bait bait mo.. (hug)

God bless you T and A.

Take care ..

[Steve and Nor 0]

magshashare lang ako ng mga kadramahan sa buhay... recent updates sa buhay US..

kahapon, it was our 1st wedding anniversary... syempre, i was thinking we would spend it in a special way. pero ito ang nangyari...

On the way to work, okray ang lola niyo.. depressed, work, didn't have lunch, work.. work.. went home.. slept on the same clothes i was wearing at the office, still even have my ID on. No dinner either.

konting background... Our doggie died on the day before Mother's day, so about two weeks ago, kinda depress depressan kami lahat, my husband, i and my oldie dog Frosty. Si Frosty yung aso ng asawa ko at nung ex niya. Si x kept on bugging my husband and insisting to go to our place and meet with us. Ayoko na nga ng ganung set up kasi di ako kumportable. IT brings me lotsa negative feelings, selosa na kung selosa, o paranoid na kung paranoid, bottom line, di ako kumportable. Sinabi ko na sa asawa ko my feelings towards it, pero sabi niya friends friends nga daw sila at parati nga siyang tinatawagan at kinukulit nun. Ako naman sinabi ko na i don't want to be friends with her. Anyway, nung friday nga, sabi niya pupunta daw yung x at yung x's bf sa bahay to see frosty daw.. sabi ko.. di ba sinabi ko na ayaw ko sila pumunta dito?.. kung di mo masabi sa kanya, ako magsasabi. this was friday night. May iba pang details as to how the conversation went. Pero yung di ko lang gusto.. sabi ba naman nung asawa ko when i asked if he knows what time they are coming tomorrow: "do you want me to take you somewhere else while they are here?" syempre gulat ako.. a bit hurt but i just tried to be cool. I asked him why do i have to go away from my own home just so you can accommodate them? isn't it a bit too much?... response.. dead air. to make it short, come saturday, i sent a message sa x nga na ayaw ko sila pumunta... na hindi ako kumportable with her friendship and no matter how i try it just doesn't feel right for me. sabi niya, she understands.. and that she blames it on my pregnancy, hormones lang daw. pero namimiss niya daw yung friendship namin?!! exact words in text message: u r the one that insisted on meeting me when i didn't care if our paths ever crossed once some time went by i became comfortable with u as my friend" - this wasn't the case, but i just didn't respond anyway, i told myself i didn't have to explain.

Nung sunday, i noticed Frosty was acting really strange and not his usual self. His tail is between his legs, he's walking strange. Syempre, worried ang lola mo.. Monday, kanda-research ako sa internet kung ano kaya possible reasons behind Frosty acting that way, depressed for loosing another buddy? something medical? and so we both decided to leave work and take our doggie to vet. Dr gave him medication and thank God he's feeling better now. Come Tue, eto na naman... nag-arrange yung asawa ko to have ex para nga daw kay Frosty. and she said that she has treats for frosty and toys for him (take note that frosty stopped playing anymore since his buddy died about 3 years ago and she knows it) Ok fine. After all, i only had Frosty since I got here. Pero as far as im concerned, x didn't want him before kasi either we take him daw o ibibigay niya sa iba then we would loose the ability to see him, or at least at the time my husband, pag iba na yung may-ari, mahirap nang magdemand to see the dog. When i got here kasi nasa HI yung x, nagbabakasyon, then left frosty to my husband to watch over him while she's away but she never took it back. Sabi na lang gift daw niya when we got married, though during that time i didn't want the dog kasi may dog na kami tapos di pa ako sanay to take care of doggies with big doggies, and they usually are very rambunctious and drags me when i take them out, kaya hate ko at first. pero ngayon napamahal na rin sa akin.. ako nagpapakain, nag-aalaga, nagpapaligo.. the stuff.

.. so tuesday, may 19... after work, pagod na pagod nga ako physically kasi lay off yung ibang coworker namin sa company kaya natural, tatambak trabaho considering buntis pa ako and on last trimester kaya mabigat na si baby.. pero don't mind it na lang. the x is already waiting for us in town. Asked her to also have a mexican food to go for us so we can just eat at home. Syemps, wala na akong magawa. After we ate,about 7 pm, watch daw ng movie. by that time, i just wanted to lie down and rest and sleep as my back is killing me.. We were at the basement. But Frosty could go up the stairs but wouldn't/couldn't go down, prolly back problems. So sige, iikot na lang ako around the house to take him back to the basement so he can spend time with x. But now, Frosty goes wherever I go. I went upstairs anywhere so naiwan sila in the basement, watching TV, while i was in the bedroom alone. ganun... ganun ang set up... and so i sent msg to my husband, what time aalis si x, pagkatapos daw ng movie, at the time it was halfway. Ay naloka ang lola mo... so i sent message to my husband na pauwiin na niya tutal gabi na naman... so of course, by this time, so upset na ang lola niyo and okray uli. i also sent message to ex to leave now and i thnk ive been gracious enough to let her see frosty even if i didn't want to... reply: it's your problem, life is too short to be spent on games. etc etc... nung nakauwi na yung x, hayun sobra kandaiyak na talaga ako... madalas naman nagkukuwento ako ng mga nangyayari dun sa gf ng father in law ko... wala naman kasi akong kaibigan pa talaga dito... na talagang kaibigan.. wala ring hingahan. so madalas siya lang yung kausap ko, parang nanay nanayan ko na rin dito.

nakatulog na lang ako sa sobrang iyak and the following day... anniv day namin... yun na nga.. di ko nga feel punta ng work but i thought that would be the best way to just forget about it. the rest of the day nasabi ko na.

today, syemps hurt pa rin ako... di pa rin kami nag-uusap ng asawa ko. I just felt so numb after everything.... wala nang emosyon. on the way to work, while in the car parang sumisinghot singhot yung asawa ko... naku... umiiyak... at this time yun nga void and empty pa rin pakiramdam ko... pero tiklop na rin ako.. and just reached out for his hand and held it. words just unspoken. syemps by this time din, since di ako kumain buong araw previous day, gutom na ako... at gusto ko ngang lumamon.. gusto ko kanin para heavy... yung tipong kaing piyestahan pa... but since it's past 7 in the morning, nag-publix na lang kami. but at least we are talking again... pero di pa rin namin napag-usapan yung events that upset both of us..

now, kahit anu mangyari, that 1st yr anniv was spent like that... ruined.. supposedly a special day. sad nga ako about this.. but i can't do anything about it now.

I was really imagining that we would spend this special day differently than how it happened. ganun... so kayo, what would you have done if you were in that situation?? gusto ko lang magshare to vent it all out.

Hi Sis,

Sad naman ako dun sa nangyari sa anniversary niyo. I think anniversaires should be very special.

i just hope na sana more sensitive ang hubby you sa iyo now that you are pregnant. Sana maisip man lang niya na hindi you gusto un situation na adun un x nya sa house niyo. If it is okay with him na andun ang x nya, sana naisip niya na hindi un nangangahulugan na okay din sa iyo.

Buntiis ka pa man din. Ang kapal din naman ng x nya ano.

Sorry Sis, i do not say this to make you feel worst. I am not also comfortable with the situation. Kung ako un hindi talaga ako papayag. Never!

My Husband and I agree no to think about our past anymore. kahit pa sabihin past na sila pero me un nga me nakaraan sila.

Now that we are married, we are new persons now wanting to have a new life together, setting aside what is in the past.

Pero okay din un ginawa u to hold your husband's hand to let him know you are okay, after what happened the last night. I just hope he would apologize for it and be more sensitive of you.

Good luck sa pagbubuntis Sis. Pls do not worry too much coz i tmight affect the baby's health.

Goodluck jan.

[Steve and Nor 0]

Hi Mga Sis,,

Selosa din ako and I am so glad nsa iba States un ex ng Hubby ko kung hindi baka mamamatay ako sa konsumisyon! hahahah

Sad naman ako at now lang ako nakbasa ng thread na ito. Im aware that there is a forum for Filipinas here kaya lang di me d2 naglalagi.

Im going home to Muntinlupa tomorrow. Im here staying in my inlaws in Pampanga while Im on vacation from school. Free ang internet d2.

I still have to apply for internet connection when I ahve time kc un Smart bro ko, not smart enough. doesnt function.

Mga Sis, na nsa Us with their husbands na, ask ko lang if pwd ba me mag seminar ng CFO kahit wala pa me Visa? one of the requirements kc un visa.

I went to DFA last April and changed my name pero hindi naman nila ako cnabihan na mag seminar ng CFO muna bago nila release new passport ko.

Please help me with this, Sisters. thank you.

[SuperDuper! 230]

I have simple rule... if there is no kids, NO COMMUNICATION with the EX. Take it or leave it.

But what if there is court-ordered Spousal Support? The man needs to then send ex a check each month, so to some degree there will be communication whether man wants it or not.

[maritoni 3]

Ay naku! hindi pwede sa akin yang bisibisita na wala namang importanteng rason (like baby). If I were you, mag-aalaga ako ng 3 doberman na ayaw ng amoy ng x ng asawa ko joke lang! Seriously, nakakapagtaka naman kung bakit ganyan pa rin ang tratuhan nila sa isa't isa or bakit ganyan pa rin x ng asawa mo sa sawa mo. Hindi na dapat ganyan, I mean hindi naman sila na dapat nagspend pa ng ganyang klaseng time for each other.

You need to tell your husband na there should be space na between him and his x. Kung ang ginagawang rason ng x nya is yung aso nyo eh di paalaga mo sa kanya si frosty even a day or two sa bahay nila. Buti na lang at yung ex-wife ng asawa ko eh nasa ibang state nakatira at wala na silang komunikasyon ng asawa ko ever. Kailangan talagang maintindihan ng asawa mo ito. Ask mo cya kung ano gagawin nya if he is in your situation. Ask mo kung ano mararamdaman nya. Sana naman maintindihan ng asawa mo nararamdaman mo at sana rin ay matapos na tong problem mo.

Natawa naman ako sa statement mo na to Pinky,but sounds sensible

[maritoni 3]

But what if there is court-ordered Spousal Support? The man needs to then send ex a check each month, so to some degree there will be communication whether man wants it or not.

oh?then he better stay with the ex!

[sasha414 0]

this is only my opinion but if i were in your place, id give her back the dog. put a big ribbon on its tail and tell the ex she doesnt have any reason to contact your husband now. good luck.

[RonMay 1]

Mga Sis, na nsa Us with their husbands na, ask ko lang if pwd ba me mag seminar ng CFO kahit wala pa me Visa? one of the requirements kc un visa.

I went to DFA last April and changed my name pero hindi naman nila ako cnabihan na mag seminar ng CFO muna bago nila release new passport ko.

Please help me with this, Sisters. thank you.

yes you can definitely have a CFO prior to your visa. ako din i did my seminar kahit wala pa akong interview sked. timing kasi nasa manila kami nun... plus about getting a passport its easier if your reason of getting a passport is just to travel abroad (tourist) hindi sila strict masyado compared if your reason is K1 or spousal visa mga ganun... but i think obvious rin sayo kasi foreign na ang last name mo ... sa akin kasi i only told them its for vacation lng to US so hindi na hinanapan ng kung ano2x... good lluck sayo!!!

[mRs StOcKwElL 1]

In my case, I would not allow that...even if they have kids, the ex cannot get in our house...they can talk over phone...It's not easy in your situation...just keep on praying that your husband will be convinced of what you feel...Hope you're doing okey most especially you're carrying your angel...God bless you!!!