1st wedding anniv... forever ruined.. sad

[T_and_A 3]

magshashare lang ako ng mga kadramahan sa buhay... recent updates sa buhay US..

kahapon, it was our 1st wedding anniversary... syempre, i was thinking we would spend it in a special way. pero ito ang nangyari...

On the way to work, okray ang lola niyo.. depressed, work, didn't have lunch, work.. work.. went home.. slept on the same clothes i was wearing at the office, still even have my ID on. No dinner either.

konting background... Our doggie died on the day before Mother's day, so about two weeks ago, kinda depress depressan kami lahat, my husband, i and my oldie dog Frosty. Si Frosty yung aso ng asawa ko at nung ex niya. Si x kept on bugging my husband and insisting to go to our place and meet with us. Ayoko na nga ng ganung set up kasi di ako kumportable. IT brings me lotsa negative feelings, selosa na kung selosa, o paranoid na kung paranoid, bottom line, di ako kumportable. Sinabi ko na sa asawa ko my feelings towards it, pero sabi niya friends friends nga daw sila at parati nga siyang tinatawagan at kinukulit nun. Ako naman sinabi ko na i don't want to be friends with her. Anyway, nung friday nga, sabi niya pupunta daw yung x at yung x's bf sa bahay to see frosty daw.. sabi ko.. di ba sinabi ko na ayaw ko sila pumunta dito?.. kung di mo masabi sa kanya, ako magsasabi. this was friday night. May iba pang details as to how the conversation went. Pero yung di ko lang gusto.. sabi ba naman nung asawa ko when i asked if he knows what time they are coming tomorrow: "do you want me to take you somewhere else while they are here?" syempre gulat ako.. a bit hurt but i just tried to be cool. I asked him why do i have to go away from my own home just so you can accommodate them? isn't it a bit too much?... response.. dead air. to make it short, come saturday, i sent a message sa x nga na ayaw ko sila pumunta... na hindi ako kumportable with her friendship and no matter how i try it just doesn't feel right for me. sabi niya, she understands.. and that she blames it on my pregnancy, hormones lang daw. pero namimiss niya daw yung friendship namin?!! exact words in text message: u r the one that insisted on meeting me when i didn't care if our paths ever crossed once some time went by i became comfortable with u as my friend" - this wasn't the case, but i just didn't respond anyway, i told myself i didn't have to explain.

Nung sunday, i noticed Frosty was acting really strange and not his usual self. His tail is between his legs, he's walking strange. Syempre, worried ang lola mo.. Monday, kanda-research ako sa internet kung ano kaya possible reasons behind Frosty acting that way, depressed for loosing another buddy? something medical? and so we both decided to leave work and take our doggie to vet. Dr gave him medication and thank God he's feeling better now. Come Tue, eto na naman... nag-arrange yung asawa ko to have ex para nga daw kay Frosty. and she said that she has treats for frosty and toys for him (take note that frosty stopped playing anymore since his buddy died about 3 years ago and she knows it) Ok fine. After all, i only had Frosty since I got here. Pero as far as im concerned, x didn't want him before kasi either we take him daw o ibibigay niya sa iba then we would loose the ability to see him, or at least at the time my husband, pag iba na yung may-ari, mahirap nang magdemand to see the dog. When i got here kasi nasa HI yung x, nagbabakasyon, then left frosty to my husband to watch over him while she's away but she never took it back. Sabi na lang gift daw niya when we got married, though during that time i didn't want the dog kasi may dog na kami tapos di pa ako sanay to take care of doggies with big doggies, and they usually are very rambunctious and drags me when i take them out, kaya hate ko at first. pero ngayon napamahal na rin sa akin.. ako nagpapakain, nag-aalaga, nagpapaligo.. the stuff.

.. so tuesday, may 19... after work, pagod na pagod nga ako physically kasi lay off yung ibang coworker namin sa company kaya natural, tatambak trabaho considering buntis pa ako and on last trimester kaya mabigat na si baby.. pero don't mind it na lang. the x is already waiting for us in town. Asked her to also have a mexican food to go for us so we can just eat at home. Syemps, wala na akong magawa. After we ate,about 7 pm, watch daw ng movie. by that time, i just wanted to lie down and rest and sleep as my back is killing me.. We were at the basement. But Frosty could go up the stairs but wouldn't/couldn't go down, prolly back problems. So sige, iikot na lang ako around the house to take him back to the basement so he can spend time with x. But now, Frosty goes wherever I go. I went upstairs anywhere so naiwan sila in the basement, watching TV, while i was in the bedroom alone. ganun... ganun ang set up... and so i sent msg to my husband, what time aalis si x, pagkatapos daw ng movie, at the time it was halfway. Ay naloka ang lola mo... so i sent message to my husband na pauwiin na niya tutal gabi na naman... so of course, by this time, so upset na ang lola niyo and okray uli. i also sent message to ex to leave now and i thnk ive been gracious enough to let her see frosty even if i didn't want to... reply: it's your problem, life is too short to be spent on games. etc etc... nung nakauwi na yung x, hayun sobra kandaiyak na talaga ako... madalas naman nagkukuwento ako ng mga nangyayari dun sa gf ng father in law ko... wala naman kasi akong kaibigan pa talaga dito... na talagang kaibigan.. wala ring hingahan. so madalas siya lang yung kausap ko, parang nanay nanayan ko na rin dito.

nakatulog na lang ako sa sobrang iyak and the following day... anniv day namin... yun na nga.. di ko nga feel punta ng work but i thought that would be the best way to just forget about it. the rest of the day nasabi ko na.

today, syemps hurt pa rin ako... di pa rin kami nag-uusap ng asawa ko. I just felt so numb after everything.... wala nang emosyon. on the way to work, while in the car parang sumisinghot singhot yung asawa ko... naku... umiiyak... at this time yun nga void and empty pa rin pakiramdam ko... pero tiklop na rin ako.. and just reached out for his hand and held it. words just unspoken. syemps by this time din, since di ako kumain buong araw previous day, gutom na ako... at gusto ko ngang lumamon.. gusto ko kanin para heavy... yung tipong kaing piyestahan pa... but since it's past 7 in the morning, nag-publix na lang kami. but at least we are talking again... pero di pa rin namin napag-usapan yung events that upset both of us..

now, kahit anu mangyari, that 1st yr anniv was spent like that... ruined.. supposedly a special day. sad nga ako about this.. but i can't do anything about it now.

I was really imagining that we would spend this special day differently than how it happened. ganun... so kayo, what would you have done if you were in that situation?? gusto ko lang magshare to vent it all out.

[kaibigan 8]

Tand A nakikisimpatya ako sa'yo lalo na preggy ka ngayon.

siguro nga emotional ang mga babaeng buntis pero dapat ang mga asawang lalake sensitive din dapat

sa feelings ng asawa nila..

minsan kase dahil magkaiba tayo ng lahi sa mga asawa natin.. mahirap nilang mainitindihan

ang mga kadramahan natin.. hehehe.. di katulad ng kapwa pinoy kuha na nila na paglalambing lang

ang mga arte ng babae dito sa'tin.

para sa kin.. mas mabuti maging open lagi ang communication nyo ng asawa mo

lalo na sa ganitong sitwasyon..kahit ako selosa din ako at ayoko ng me uma aligid sa fiance ko.

temporarily kc nakatira sya sa cousin nyang lalake at me ka live in yung cousin nya.. na itong babae naman

e pumapasok nalang bigla sa room ng fiance ko kahit nag cha chat kami.. kakaloka!

sabi ko nga sa fiance ko.. prangkahan na... di ko feel yung girl na yun at maghanap na sya ng place

namin kahit wala pa ko sa US..kesa mag tyaga sa house ng cousin nya na merong

mga tao na walang paki sa privacy ng iba.

sino ba mas importante? yung ibang tao or tayong nag decide na magsama come what may?

sa dami na rin ng napagdaan namin ng fiance ko ang ma i si share ko lang yung pag uusap ng seryoso

na ma ipapa abot mo rin ang pagmamahal mo.. kc minsan pag naunahan na ng init ng ulo..

di talaga ma so solve ang problema. di maganda yung di mo masabi ang nasa loob mo.. kc akala nya ok

pero di naman pala..kaya ako.. sinasabi ko lahat... sabi ko sa fiance ko ayoko dun sa gf ng cousin mo.. di kami pwedeng maging friends..instinct ko yun.. hehehe... agree naman sya na mas importante ako..

di naman kc ibang tao ang involve dito eh.. gusto ba nating maging successful ang relationship natin?

mahal natin ang isat- isa kaya nating i work out ito kahit mahirap, kahit maraming problema..

kaya natin.. basta support lang.. walang iwanan sa ere.

sis, i will keep you in my prayers.. ingatan mo lang sarili mo and the baby.. kahit ano pa

ikaw ang pinaka importante sa buhay ng asawa mo..relax..chill out and God bless!

[maritoni 3]

Sometimes people cant do ENDINGS. your husband might need to think about that. Others just dont end things and dont know how. If your husband or his ex is one of those, dont let them lead the way. They must have to take charge of ending it and not remaining friends. Neither of them cant move on,as i see it..Pagalitan mo kaya ng bongang bonga!first wedding anniversary nyo sa ex nya inispend ang time nya! WOW what a man!

I feel for you T and A.please INSIST on being treated well in your relationship trying to be friends with the exs,unfortunately should be NO!Your husband seems to have unfinished business with his ex?Just my two cents..

Ingatan mo na lang ang sarili mo at buntis ka pa naman...

Edited May 22, 2009 by maritoni

[AngelSaint 0]

naku! di pwd sa akin yan! buti ka pa T_A, u remained strong...and be always strong..di madali ang situation mo...

[RDDIXON 0]

You are lucky. Your husband is a nice man. He simply doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. The "X" will likely stop visiting eventually, so calm down...You are married to your husband so don't worry...He loves you so much...Jealousy is a waste of energy and emotions.

GOD BLESS YOU AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF AND THE BABY...

GOOD LUCK...

[andrew&evelyn 6]

Eh bakit ba naman punta pa ng punta yang ex dyan eh wala naman silang business na dalawa..ganung wala naman silang anak...at aba ang lakas pa ng loob na makinood dyan ng movie sa house nyo!!! And kahit tnxt mo na umuwi na sya at gabi na ayaw pa rin. Makapal ba mukha nyan??? Eh kahit sabihin pa ng iba ang culture nila sa atin dapat alam nila kung san sila dapat lumugar. OK lang siguro na continue ang communication nila lets say may anak sila. Lalo pa na buntis ka...hormones na kung hormones pero mali pa rin yong ginagawa nya. Sinabi mo naman sa asawa mo na ayaw mo sila pumunta at di ka nga comfortable pero bakit pinayagan nya pa rin.

Nagtaka lang ako bakit umiyak yong asawa mo..tanungin mo kaya whats the reason and from there pag-usapan nyo kung ano yong reason kung bakit pareho kayong upset. Wag masyado ma stress at kawawa si Baby.

anyway ako na lang babati sayo ng Happy 1st Anniversarry

Evelyn

[rheanick 42]

I have simple rule... if there is no kids, NO COMMUNICATION with the EX. Take it or leave it.

[maritoni 3]

I have simple rule... if there is no kids, NO COMMUNICATION with the EX. Take it or leave it.

I 100% agree with you sis!

[epey_denz24 1]

just take care of yourself sis,,, wag mo nalang hayaan na masira ung relationship nyo ni hubby!!! usap kau...and ipaintindi mo sa kanya ung feeling mo and ask him kung ikaw kaya ang gumawa nun sa kanya ano mararamdaman nya?? RDDIXON is ryt maybe hesitant si hubby,,,pero wag nalang ulit ulitin kasi iba na kapag palaging ganon!!!

bumawi ka na lang sis,,,, celebrate nyo pa din anniv nyo and tell him kung gaano kaimportante sa u ung anniv nyo,,,baka mas lalo nya maappreciate ung feeling mo kasi relationship ung pinaglalaban mo and that way mas lalo nya marerealize kung gaano mo sya ka mahal!!!

sis,,,cheer up!!! dont be sad!!! always put GOD in the midst of ur relationship!!! Smile ka na ha!! Ingat

[macutelit 0]

I have simple rule... if there is no kids, NO COMMUNICATION with the EX. Take it or leave it.

[T_and_A 3]

salamat sa inyo lahat...

ay naku mga kumare... ako kasi, ayoko na nga ng mga sad thoughts... as much as possible iniiwasan ko na lang yung mga kakalungkot na experience.

ang importante lang na naman sakin now yung asawa ko at yung baby.... syempre yung doggie ko rin, si Frosty. Tinatatagan ko na nga lang, kasi pano naman... mag-isa lang ako dito. minsan lang pakiramdam ko taken for granted ako, and di ko rin maintindihan bakit kelangan ako parati ang magpapasensya.

Yung asawa ko kasi parang mahirap din basahin... pag kausapin mo tahimik lang. yung age gap naming tatlo parang almost 3 generations.. pero pakiramdam ko ako yung tumatanda masyado, lalawakan yung pang-unawa...

haaaay... life.

[chinese_mutt 11]

hay sis!! ako rin may ganitong istorya! wahaha.. pero buti na lang mabait din ung "x" nung asawa ko. Kulits ung asawa ko, minsan nag-log-in sa account ko sa myspace at i-add ba naman ang "x" nya sa friends list ko! Siguro ganun talaga minsan sa kanila... pero di rin lahat. Sinabihan ko ung asawa ko na di ako comportable at kung pwede wag na nya ulitin. Di pa naman nya inuulit. In fairness, mabait ung "x" nya at nag-pasabi naman na alam nyang si asawang kulit ung gumawa nun, tapos sabi nya alam nya kung ganu ka-awkward ung situation.

oh well, sis wag masyadong ma-stress wawa si baby.

[T_and_A 3]

kaso nga sis ang hirap kasi si x parang mahina ang utak <pardon my words>... kinda special nga.. if you know what i mean... di makagets. sobrang needy...

[pasaway na angel 2]

I have simple rule... if there is no kids, NO COMMUNICATION with the EX. Take it or leave it.

TAMA!

[RonMay 1]

kaso nga sis ang hirap kasi si x parang mahina ang utak <pardon my words>... kinda special nga.. if you know what i mean... di makagets. sobrang needy...

you did mention that the ex has a new bf right??? if then, my gosh what is she doing hanging out watching movie then??? im not sure if deep down she's just cant let go and move on and still imagining everything is still AOK... and using the dog to get what she wants. how old is she? she should have been mature enough to get this. she might have other motives than just wanting to be friends... selosa din ako (i know its unhealthy) pero diko talaga mapigilan ang pagka selosa so i understand your feelings especially extreme na talaga ang mga pinag dadaanan mo... may ex din hubby ko, met her 3 times but only once lng kami na introduce at nag ka usap and it was new yrs eve pa. super dyahe ako syempre but no choice kasi yung friend namin she pulled me from my hubby's side and introduce me to everybody plus her... i think she was ok and also married already. she told me she heard good things about me (though i never heard about her hehehe)... talk ng kunti at yun na yun... hope everything will be ok in the end... ang importante strong kayo sa isat-isat. God bless!

Edited May 22, 2009 by RonMay