The internet and you

[JillA 2]

I am generally a nice person and I usually think before I speak. I try not to criticize unless it's constructive, am not mean or rude to people in person, and am the same online. I try not to judge anyone or be rude online, because I don't do that in person. I act the same online as I do in person. I'm never vindictive or cruel, as some people can be online. I'm sure if you meet some of those rude arses in OT, they are sweet as pie in person.

Come to think of it, I think I might be TOO sweet. The job interview I went for, the customer service supervisor position - I didn't get it. The manager really liked me, he said my qualifications were great and I have a nice personality. BUT, he doesn't think I'll be tough enough to be a disicplinarian. He said you need to have really thick skin for this job and he thinks I'm too sweet but that's OK, I have another job interview next week I would never change who I am, that's just moi!

[The_Dude 1,142]

The anonymity of the internet allows people to be different if they want to. Those who would normally never say boo to a goose when around people suddenly have the ability to be vitriolic without any real comeback. If they don't like what comes back to them, all they have to do is click the mouse and it goes away. It's hard for that to happen in real life.

I can think of many examples of real life and internet life personas being poles apart.

These are my first thoughts when it comes to the internet. You can be whomever you want to be, if you feel you'll never meet that person. I know that a lot of couples meet online, through all sorts of ways. And then they meet in person...very different. A couple women I know met their husbands through different sites, but it certainly wasn't the first, or second man they went to see. It took meeting more than one. So I guess they were "impressive" at first...till they met face to face.

I find for myself too, that it's VERY difficult to explain yourself online. You can't hear the tone of voice, and it's hard to express in the written word as opposed to speaking. I try to be the same person here, as I would be if you actually met me. I think that for the most part, those on this site are themselves, as much as they can be considering the hindrance of the internet. Depending on what's being said, you can't see the smile on their face if they're just trying to "tease" and not "push buttons" does that make sense?

That's what emoticons are for

I do see your point that you can't see someones facial expression, or hear the inflection or tone of their voice, so it can be hard to sense what someone is actually saying.

[thetreble 19]

A lot of things I say are taken seriously when they are meant to be jokes...so that point is definitely understandable.

[trailmix 77]

I just realized a situation where I do go out of my way to be as big an a-hole as possible....... Video Games. But I think that is an exception because you are playing a character.

I disagree (surprise!)

You are not the character! You are you and the character is the character. The character can shoot and jump and make laugh like noises - but it's not you. I don't think it is an exception and I don't think anyone should fool themselves in to thinking it is. If you are playing wow for instance and you are making an a$$ of yourself in trade chat - that is indeed you being an...a$$.

A lot of things I say are taken seriously when they are meant to be jokes...so that point is definitely understandable.

Use more emoticons!

[Team J and B 2]

I'm much cooler online.

I also don't stutter, mumble, and make less grammatical errors online.

[The_Dude 1,142]

I just realized a situation where I do go out of my way to be as big an a-hole as possible....... Video Games. But I think that is an exception because you are playing a character.

I disagree (surprise!)

You are not the character! You are you and the character is the character. The character can shoot and jump and make laugh like noises - but it's not you. I don't think it is an exception and I don't think anyone should fool themselves in to thinking it is. If you are playing wow for instance and you are making an a$$ of yourself in trade chat - that is indeed you being an...a$$.

A lot of things I say are taken seriously when they are meant to be jokes...so that point is definitely understandable.

Use more emoticons!

Yes, I am going out of my way to be an a$$hole on video games, I never made any claim that I wasn't. I said it was an aberation for me personally. For me, I am playing a character that is a hyper version of myself. I made the claim that I am myself online and in real life and was stating that when I play video games it is an a character for me.

[trailmix 77]

Yes, I am going out of my way to be an a$$hole on video games, I never made any claim that I wasn't. I said it was an aberation for me personally. For me, I am playing a character that is a hyper version of myself. I made the claim that I am myself online and in real life and was stating that when I play video games it is an a character for me.

ok, see you seem to be kind of angry here and i'm not sure why?

[sj5 4]

I'm the same in person.

[The_Dude 1,142]

Yes, I am going out of my way to be an a$$hole on video games, I never made any claim that I wasn't. I said it was an aberation for me personally. For me, I am playing a character that is a hyper version of myself. I made the claim that I am myself online and in real life and was stating that when I play video games it is an a character for me.

ok, see you seem to be kind of angry here and i'm not sure why?

Sorry, I forgot the emoticons

[thetreble 19]

Yes, I am going out of my way to be an a$$hole on video games, I never made any claim that I wasn't. I said it was an aberation for me personally. For me, I am playing a character that is a hyper version of myself. I made the claim that I am myself online and in real life and was stating that when I play video games it is an a character for me.

ok, see you seem to be kind of angry here and i'm not sure why?

Sorry, I forgot the emoticons

Good example!

[trailmix 77]

Yes, I am going out of my way to be an a$$hole on video games, I never made any claim that I wasn't. I said it was an aberation for me personally. For me, I am playing a character that is a hyper version of myself. I made the claim that I am myself online and in real life and was stating that when I play video games it is an a character for me.

ok, see you seem to be kind of angry here and i'm not sure why?

Sorry, I forgot the emoticons

Much better!

However, still goes back to the point that the 'character' does not exist - you do and you are being an a$$.

It's not like being in a play as a character and someone wrote your character that way.

Edited May 21, 2009 by trailmix

[scandal 951]

I find that my online-personality changes depending upon who I'm interacting with, and the context of that interaction.

I got involved in VJ for the reasons most of us do - I had questions about the immigration filing for my fiancee. At first I mostly just lurked, and searched the forums for answers to my questions that others had already posted. Imagine that - I was afraid to post a question for fear it may have already been asked! Clearly that's not a consideration for many VJers.

Anyway, I eventually found my way to the Thailand forums where I hang out with my brothers (and a few sisters) who are petitioning wives and fiances from Thailand. The Thailand threads (Sawasdee3 and Thailand --- we have 2 for historical reasons) are sort of like the Canada forum, in terms of the tenor. Mostly everybody gets along but occasionally someone gets in a tiff and some feelings get ruffled.

When our case got stuck at NVC, I became very active on the Stuck AP@NVC thread. AP@NVC is a very supportive forum- everyone there has experienced the particular paiin of this condition and we all have each other's back. I honestly cannot think of ONE case of an unkind word being spoken on a thread that is now thousands of messages long.

At some point I branched actively into the OT threads. Even there, I find there is variance. There are some vitriolic threads filled with hate and bitterness, that really makes you wonder about the sanity and mental health of the person who can bring up such bile. And there are other funny and cute threads. And yet others that discuss serious topics and manage to stay focused and informative (recently there was an abortion thread that stayed civil and polite far longer than I would have imagined possible).

And, of course, it's fun to have a thread where you feel safe to let your hair down and act entirely politically incorrect - my fave is the 'noobs' thread. I think of that as sort of like a comedy standup act where anything goes - all the topics that would be improper elsewhere can be done since it's understood as just-in-fun. Noobs doesn't take itself seriously and is just a long running gag. I get a real thrill out of participating in that, and discovering hidden wells of dark humor within myself that I normally don't normally get to explore in "real life".

So in summary, I am all business when I post on immigration topics. I'm part of a communal support group on AP@NVC. I'm hanging out with my buds on Sawasdee3. I'm trolling for a fight when I put myself out there on the OT political threads. And I'm just being a clown on Noobz. And all of this is happening on VJ!! Who knew??

[The_Dude 1,142]

Yes, I am going out of my way to be an a$$hole on video games, I never made any claim that I wasn't. I said it was an aberation for me personally. For me, I am playing a character that is a hyper version of myself. I made the claim that I am myself online and in real life and was stating that when I play video games it is an a character for me.

ok, see you seem to be kind of angry here and i'm not sure why?

Sorry, I forgot the emoticons

Much better!

However, still goes back to the point that the 'character' does not exist - you do and you are being an a$$.

It's not like being in a play as a character and someone wrote your character that way.

See, I think that it goes to prove the "character" theory. I am behaving not as myself, but as someone else. Why do I do it? Because it's fun. I did it all for the lulz

[thetreble 19]

I read that trolling story about the lulz. Now THAT is wacky!

[The_Dude 1,142]

I read that trolling story about the lulz. Now THAT is wacky!

Yeah, and you thought AJ or rogue are bad trolls