Married, Divorced... wants to marry and sponsor spouse

[olkemotigk 0]

Hi all, must say that this forum is very educational. My story is as follows and I need some advise

My husband was married to a "wounded lion" who got into the marriage with no good faith. She only wanted to enter USA, and was not really in love with him. Because he is a VERY lenient person and thinks the best of everyone, he concluded this a bit rather late (although he saw the signs he failed to admit that was what was going on). They were having huge fights by the time I met him (online) last year... to the extent that she tried on so many ocassions to have him arrested for abuse and possession of fire arms (he works for the department of security). This is as a result of him letting her know that he is not prepared to help her obtain her GC. She concluded that she would make his life miserable if this does not happen, hence the involvement of police and other authorities.

When we met, it was all casual at first. Good conversations, and I will encourage him as he narrates his issues to me. Before we knew it, we got so much involved in ourselves that we could not do without having lengthy conversations each day. This automatically led to him proposing to come and visit me in my home country barely 3 months after we met.

He came and we fell so much in love. Decided we wanted to be with each other. Introductions were made to the family, and before you know it I am living in his house here in my home country. Under my country's law, a man is permitted to have more than one wife, however we also recognise the US law on such things hence we just decided between ourselves and family that we are married (customary law) and had my name changed legally to his name, and obtained my passport under his name.

The "wounded lion" has now left his house, having now believed that he meant what he said, and her visa has now expired. I guess she is trying to run away from the authorities in terms of deporting her back home.

My husband came back to my home country again 3 months after the first visit, and divorce papers to the first wife is now completed and to be submitted as soon as he gets back to America.

Our dilema now is as follows:

1) How soon after divorce is a USC allowed to re-marry and sponsor a new wife's visa application?

2) We told ourselves that we will be seeing each other at least every 3 months, but after this visit, we do recognize that it is actually quiet expensive for him as he is missing vital salary from work due to his abscence. Hence, it will be more cost effective for me to come down and visit him instead - that way he would still be working. Can I apply for a visiting visa? (we already have assets together, I have my official job and business here)

3) If I can apply for a visiting visa, should I be applying as married or not married? Bear in mind I have already changed my name legally and my passport bears that also.

I would appreciate it if you can help me with these....

[Bobby+Umit 161]

<sniP>

Our dilema now is as follows:

1) How soon after divorce is a USC allowed to re-marry and sponsor a new wife's visa application?

Depends on the state they are living in. can vary from no wait to 6 months

2) We told ourselves that we will be seeing each other at least every 3 months, but after this visit, we do recognize that it is actually quiet expensive for him as he is missing vital salary from work due to his abscence. Hence, it will be more cost effective for me to come down and visit him instead - that way he would still be working. Can I apply for a visiting visa? (we already have assets together, I have my official job and business here)

Nigeria? Doubtful you will succeed in getting a visitors visa, but nothing prevents you from trying.

3) If I can apply for a visiting visa, should I be applying as married or not married? Bear in mind I have already changed my name legally and my passport bears that also.

If your married, your married. However, since he is an USC, he can't be legally married to two people at the same time, so you marriage may not count - lawyer time I think.

I would appreciate it if you can help me with these....

[olkemotigk 0]

Many thanks Bobby_Umit for the quick response.

1) They are living in Maryland. Though they got married in Nigeria and divorced here, does the Maryland law still applies in terms of the wait?

2) In terms of the visiting visa, I thought as much! But like you said, there is no harm in trying. My only fear is if I do apply and they subsequently refuse, will this (the refusal) affect our spouse visa next year?

3) Hmmnnn food for thought! Our legal wedding is coming up next year. Technically he is divorced

[Bobby+Umit 161]

1. I don't know Maryland law, you would need to look it up online.

2. Refusal of a visitors visa, if not for critical problems, will not affect any other visa attempt. (lack of funds for example, no issues, misrepresentation will be "critical" and prevent future attempts).

[reeses16 8]

Many thanks Bobby_Umit for the quick response.

1) They are living in Maryland. Though they got married in Nigeria and divorced here, does the Maryland law still applies in terms of the wait?

I'm not sure what you mean. He must be divorced BEFORE you apply. Divorced meaning that it is legal, done through a court system (NOT by custom) and that you have a decree original and English translation showing you are divorced

2) In terms of the visiting visa, I thought as much! But like you said, there is no harm in trying. My only fear is if I do apply and they subsequently refuse, will this (the refusal) affect our spouse visa next year?

No, applying for a visitor's visa will not affect your spousal visa application. It is highly unlikely that you will get a vistors visa.

3) Hmmnnn food for thought! Our legal wedding is coming up next year. Technically he is divorced

From your description ihe s not divorced at all. His wife just left his home. To be divorced in America you must have gone through a legal court proceeding and been issued a divorce decree. Further, you married him before he was divorced. You should not distinguish between marriage by custom and legal marriage. Marriage is marriage, and you further substantiated your customary marriage with your name & passport changes. I think you will need a lawyer to help you through the process: (1) You were married before his divorce (2) You may have a harder time at interview if the CO suspects polygamy and that he is just divorcing and marrying to bring the rest of his family to the US. I'm not judging but pointing out how it may be viewed.

Edited May 21, 2009 by reeses16

[olkemotigk 0]

They are divorced now, done in Nigeria (legally and not customary) and they are no longer living together. However we do know she is somewhere around Maryland as she is avoiding immigration and not wanting to return home.

When you say married him before divorce, no we are not. Like I said we do not have a marriage license. We were waiting for divorce, which we now have and his next trip to Nigeria is next year when we are planning to be legally married. Further to the change of name though, I do agree with you and your comments about how it may be intepreted by the CO.

I think the complication here is how my country views it and how its been viewed over there. I will try and apply for the visiting visa as we have no plans yet for me to come and settle down over there. I have just kick start my own company and opportunity of its expansion is excellent. Its just a matter of being able to keep our relationship stronger by not staying away from each other for extended period of time.

[chinese_mutt 11]

Many thanks Bobby_Umit for the quick response.

1) They are living in Maryland. Though they got married in Nigeria and divorced here, does the Maryland law still applies in terms of the wait?

I'm not sure what you mean. He must be divorced BEFORE you apply. Divorced meaning that it is legal, done through a court system (NOT by custom) and that you have a decree original and English translation showing you are divorced

2) In terms of the visiting visa, I thought as much! But like you said, there is no harm in trying. My only fear is if I do apply and they subsequently refuse, will this (the refusal) affect our spouse visa next year?

No, applying for a visitor's visa will not affect your spousal visa application. It is highly unlikely that you will get a vistors visa.

3) Hmmnnn food for thought! Our legal wedding is coming up next year. Technically he is divorced

From your description ihe s not divorced at all. His wife just left his home. To be divorced in America you must have gone through a legal court proceeding and been issued a divorce decree. Further, you married him before he was divorced. You should not distinguish between marriage by custom and legal marriage. Marriage is marriage, and you further substantiated your customary marriage with your name & passport changes. I think you will need a lawyer to help you through the process: (1) You were married before his divorce (2) You may have a harder time at interview if the CO suspects polygamy and that he is just divorcing and marrying to bring the rest of his family to the US. I'm not judging but pointing out how it may be viewed.

1. make sure that the divorce is final. good thing the wife did not find out about you two marrying, he can be put to jail for bigamy! in fact, i think by law.. it is an offense against state and he can still be prosecuted for it. be careful with your actions here.

2. re-marry. if you want to file for a K3 or CR1 visa, i suggest after the divorce is final (and waiting period is over, see Maryland law or ask the divorce lawyer) you guys marry legally in wherever country you choose to.

3. wait a few months, at worst... the CO will think you guys are not in a bonafide relationship. Establish your relationship outside the time when he is still married. Let him come visit you after the divorce is final, take pics, meet family, more pics with family, snail mails, emails, telephone bills before filing for the spouse visa.

4. Finances... you have joint accounts even if he was still married? I am not sure.. but this is not allowed in my country. It will revert back to common funds of the current husband and wife (1st marriage, since you were married when it was not yet resolved). Again, I would be very careful in declaring these assets as joint. (see #1) It may be proof of Bigamy.

5. Visitor's visa is pretty hard to obtain from high fraud countries... that includes yours and mine. Attempting will not cause any serious damage unless you make any misrepresentation.

5. lastly, good luck! these are just all advices and in no way does it contain any judgmental comments. I call it as I see it... and hopefully, you will be wise about this situation and both of you will live happily ever after.

[chinese_mutt 11]

They are divorced now, done in Nigeria (legally and not customary) and they are no longer living together. However we do know she is somewhere around Maryland as she is avoiding immigration and not wanting to return home.

When you say married him before divorce, no we are not. Like I said we do not have a marriage license. We were waiting for divorce, which we now have and his next trip to Nigeria is next year when we are planning to be legally married. Further to the change of name though, I do agree with you and your comments about how it may be intepreted by the CO.

I think the complication here is how my country views it and how its been viewed over there. I will try and apply for the visiting visa as we have no plans yet for me to come and settle down over there. I have just kick start my own company and opportunity of its expansion is excellent. Its just a matter of being able to keep our relationship stronger by not staying away from each other for extended period of time.

I read somewhere here in VJ, a fiance changed her last name to her boyfriend's last name.. and was denied for misrepresentation.

If still possible, revert back to your maiden name again.

Good luck!

^@ above post: got confused whether you married or not. See also Commom Law Spouses... some state in the US acknowledges this... it may turn out that you are married (legally per se). At this point, if he's having a divorce proceeding... tell the lawyer about all this information... he should be able to point you in the right directions.

[olkemotigk 0]

Wow bigamy! We are not actually legally married yet. Put it in another light dating - in relationship. But yes I did change my name. Perhaps this is something I shouldn't have done. And yet again yes we do have finances and assets together because we so much believe in our relationship. Honestly, left to me I would rather we live here in Nigeria, but he wants us to be there.

[baron555 934]

My question is did they get legally married in the US?

If so, then they must be legally divorced in the US before anything else. I do not personally know how the US views the Nigerian marriage customs and whether ii is viewed negatively that a man can be married to more than one woman.

You did state that there was a customary marriage process and a legal marriage process in Nigeria. Correct? If you two only went through with the customary process and not the Nigerian legal process, then you are not married to him until it is legal.

Under what visa did he bring her over with ?

Edited May 21, 2009 by baron555

[olkemotigk 0]

Baron555, they got married here in Nigeria, hence the divorce proceedings in our country rather than over there. We do recognize that the customary law is not applicable, that is why our legal wedding is planned for next year. After that we are planning to apply for the K3 visa. The ex-wife, I believe was brought in under the K3 visa with the 2yrs clause on it. The 2 yrs has now expired and she is not willing to return home. Infact he made two applications at the start. I believe for a Green Card as well. But because she was impatient with waiting here in Nigeria, as soon as the K3 visa was approved she abandoned the other application with the belief she would continue in the states. 3 months after her arrival in the states, the GC was approved, and she was expected to show up in person, but she refused to come to Nigeria. Now that the relationship has turned sour and over, he has now withdrawn his petition in the states, and the one in Nigeria. We are waiting for them to serve her a deportation letter, which I am certain she will abscond.

[chinese_mutt 11]

Wow bigamy! We are not actually legally married yet. Put it in another light dating - in relationship. But yes I did change my name. Perhaps this is something I shouldn't have done. And yet again yes we do have finances and assets together because we so much believe in our relationship. Honestly, left to me I would rather we live here in Nigeria, but he wants us to be there.

ah!!.. sorry, no offense was meant. I'm just saying sometimes it depends on laws of the countries. if they accept Common Law Spouses, the fact that you changed your name may be enough proof of Common Law Spouse. (Google this)

Can you revert back to your maiden name? I don't know how it is really.... but it would be safer to revert back to your maiden name and marry and switch to married name. My opinion only... legally... it uncomplicates your situation.

[Anh map 2,098]

Another thing to keep in mind: the ex-wife will need to be counted on the affidavit of support. His obligation does not end with divorce. So he will need to meet the income requirements for 3 persons unless it can be shown that she has abandoned her LPR status.

I'd imagine that deportation would also end the sponsor's obligation.

[olkemotigk 0]

Wow bigamy! We are not actually legally married yet. Put it in another light dating - in relationship. But yes I did change my name. Perhaps this is something I shouldn't have done. And yet again yes we do have finances and assets together because we so much believe in our relationship. Honestly, left to me I would rather we live here in Nigeria, but he wants us to be there.

ah!!.. sorry, no offense was meant. I'm just saying sometimes it depends on laws of the countries. if they accept Common Law Spouses, the fact that you changed your name may be enough proof of Common Law Spouse. (Google this)

Can you revert back to your maiden name? I don't know how it is really.... but it would be safer to revert back to your maiden name and marry and switch to married name. My opinion only... legally... it uncomplicates your situation.

No offense taken... good advice. We have decided to revert back to my maiden name and at the appropriate time change to married name.

[olkemotigk 0]

Another thing to keep in mind: the ex-wife will need to be counted on the affidavit of support. His obligation does not end with divorce. So he will need to meet the income requirements for 3 persons unless it can be shown that she has abandoned her LPR status.

I'd imagine that deportation would also end the sponsor's obligation.

Wow! I believe she has abandoned her LPR Status as she has tried so many times to bring a case against him for abuse. Tried protective order but it bounced back on her and he was issued with the protective order against her instead, ha!

The possibility of deportation is looking slimmer by the day as we heard she is trying to runaway to NY or something. He earns a decent salary so even if we cannot get rid of her completely, he should still be able to meet the requirements.