Frustration towards marriage -- any help, opinions, relief?

[thetreble 19]

I Recently heard that the $8000 tax rebate can now go towards your down payment as well. I hope that is still in effect when we are ready to buy!

Oh I didn't know that they had changed it, or are about to, for the downpayment - hey that's nice! Found this about FHA loans, not sure about other types of loans.

Posted on: May 13, 2009 11:29:00 AM

HUD Secretary: FHA Borrowers Soon Can Use $8,000 Tax Credit at Closing

In a significant boost to the housing market, HUD Secretary Shaun Donovan announced yesterday that first-time buyers using FHA loans would soon be allowed to monetize” the $8,000 federal first-time buyer tax credit and use the funds for their downpayment

I missed ALL The good stuff. If I would have just waited until Jan. 1st to close on the house!

[trailmix 77]

I Recently heard that the $8000 tax rebate can now go towards your down payment as well. I hope that is still in effect when we are ready to buy!

Oh I didn't know that they had changed it, or are about to, for the downpayment - hey that's nice! Found this about FHA loans, not sure about other types of loans.

Posted on: May 13, 2009 11:29:00 AM

HUD Secretary: FHA Borrowers Soon Can Use $8,000 Tax Credit at Closing

In a significant boost to the housing market, HUD Secretary Shaun Donovan announced yesterday that first-time buyers using FHA loans would soon be allowed to monetize” the $8,000 federal first-time buyer tax credit and use the funds for their downpayment

I missed ALL The good stuff. If I would have just waited until Jan. 1st to close on the house!

Yes, while I love the fact that they have all this good stuff now I REALLY do feel for you and all the others that bought houses last year with what, at the time, was a kind-of-nice tax break - but which has been totally overshadowed by this new incentive.

Edited May 21, 2009 by trailmix

[CDAgirlMI 51]

One last thing though-I noticed from your time line that you have only been to the US once and it was only about a month and a half ago? You might want to make a few more trips to where you are going to be living first before you take the jump to move there. Marrying someone is one thing. If you love each other, you love each other.

However, when you agree to move somewhere and move your whole life there...and you've only been there once, your geographical location can play so much into how you feel about your life. I know for me, I had been to NJ at least 15 or 20 times in the years we dated long distance, went to his family parties, weddings, showers, etc. and when I finally moved here it was nothing like it was when I was just a visitor. That is my greatest piece of advice, I guess. Make sure you know where you are re-locating to because if you don't like it when you get there, everything in your life pretty much suffers.

+1

There's only SO much you can get to know someone by talking on the phone/internet. I know some VJ'ers on here have done that because of living at a great distance(so don't bash me on it), but I feel that people should know what(or who) they're getting into before making a huge committment....as much as you can, depending on your circumstance. So in that sense, I can see how he feels the way he does.

Just keep open communication(which I'm sure you do). Everything will work out, just people like us have it much harder than "normal".

[Sam and Ben 2]

I've been telling him to resist looking up homes for us, and look at what you all have me doing now -- itching to buy a home! Haha.

I sure hope those incentives are in place by the time we're at that stage... of course, with the timeline being pushed back a week each time I check it, I doubt that more and more.

One last thing though-I noticed from your time line that you have only been to the US once and it was only about a month and a half ago? You might want to make a few more trips to where you are going to be living first before you take the jump to move there. Marrying someone is one thing. If you love each other, you love each other.

However, when you agree to move somewhere and move your whole life there...and you've only been there once, your geographical location can play so much into how you feel about your life. I know for me, I had been to NJ at least 15 or 20 times in the years we dated long distance, went to his family parties, weddings, showers, etc. and when I finally moved here it was nothing like it was when I was just a visitor. That is my greatest piece of advice, I guess. Make sure you know where you are re-locating to because if you don't like it when you get there, everything in your life pretty much suffers.

+1

There's only SO much you can get to know someone by talking on the phone/internet. I know some VJ'ers on here have done that because of living at a great distance(so don't bash me on it), but I feel that people should know what(or who) they're getting into before making a huge committment....as much as you can, depending on your circumstance. So in that sense, I can see how he feels the way he does.

Just keep open communication(which I'm sure you do). Everything will work out, just people like us have it much harder than "normal".

Based on our circumstances, we are both doing as much as we can. We both agree on it, there's no issue there.

[July09Bride 1]

I must say, the K1 is SO not an easy process. My fiance' feels the same way yours does... why do we have to be rushed by the US Government!!?? But, he waited 8 years to propose, so I guess he figures that he's "finally" ready. But, I must also share that we have noticed that when difficult situations hit either one of us and we're apart, the world feels like it is crumbling down upon us. However, when difficult situations hit either one of us and we're together (by chance that week/weekend), we BOTH handle the situation much better. So, I think that although there is the hurry (hurrying my fiance' is like asking molasses in January to flow smoothly), we all still see ourselves together in the long run.