ok mena i have a question for all you couples

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

my opinion, and this works for me, is that my wife and i share common financial goals. there is no my money or her money as long as the goals are collective (which they are). therefore, decisions regarding spending and investing should be collective as well. in practice, of course, neither her nor i sweat the small stuff. how do we know when to 'check in' with the spousal unit? call it instinct. you gotta have instinct, this is a marriage not a corporate board where you can hide behind documented guidelines.

[It's me 1]

you're so cute but randomizer is right dear, it doesnt matter what we think, it matters what works for you and your wife

[mohamed and trina 0]

you guys have been really helpful.i guess i just believe in honesty ia the best policy.esp when it comes to money.and a bad relationship before this relationship.just alot of non communication.and then we were left without.you all have been so kind.thank you so much

[trinket 30]

We almost always talk about what to buy and what not to buy. Even though I am not working right now, I never have to ask money from my husband, he leaves all his cheques and D.C, C.C with me, though I never go ahead and buy whatever I like. If I need something expensive, I do ask him if its allright if we make this purchase.......mind you its not asking permission.

I did do buy something expensive on my own though, but it was from the money I earned back in India and I bought him a birthday gift, so I guess thats the only thing I hide from him before buying.

But its true at the end of the day, its you as a couple has to make the decision.

[Nasturtium 500]

my opinion, and this works for me, is that my wife and i share common financial goals. there is no my money or her money as long as the goals are collective (which they are). therefore, decisions regarding spending and investing should be collective as well. in practice, of course, neither her nor i sweat the small stuff. how do we know when to 'check in' with the spousal unit? call it instinct. you gotta have instinct, this is a marriage not a corporate board where you can hide behind documented guidelines.

This is basically our approach as well. He consults me on everything he does and I usually tell him what i am doing as well (sometimes I forget, I am not sued to having someone who talks about every single thing including candy bar purchases). Little purchases are usually told to the other at some later point, after the fact. Big things (or odd things-- like when he got a chainsaw) would be discussed beforehand.

Trina, he is right-- you have to make your own decisions, no one can help you in this case. What we all do doesn't matter-- it's what is right for you two. He may be operating off of religios, cultural, or individual (or a combination of any or all) in his relationship with you, and you'll have to discuss it to find out. You can't take much into granted (assumption) between two cultures, religions, and even at times individuals.

[kaffy 2]

If you want your marriage to work, you gotta communicate.. not just about money but about everything else too, even mundane things like household chores. Believe me, communication works, non-communication doesnt.

[Danno 1,228]

Forget all the :communication" stuff.... thats how fights get started.

Actually Communication is way over rated, we have more communication today than we have ever had and we also have a near record divorce rate.

Compatibility is way more useful.

[It's me 1]

Forget all the :communication" stuff.... thats how fights get started.

Actually Communication is way over rated, we have more communication today than we have ever had and we also have a near record divorce rate.

Compatibility is way more useful.

I like, I like

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

my opinion, and this works for me, is that my wife and i share common financial goals. there is no my money or her money as long as the goals are collective (which they are). therefore, decisions regarding spending and investing should be collective as well. in practice, of course, neither her nor i sweat the small stuff. how do we know when to 'check in' with the spousal unit? call it instinct. you gotta have instinct, this is a marriage not a corporate board where you can hide behind documented guidelines.

my god even your marriage sounds socialist

[sara..... 371]

well im not married yet but perviz and i do talk about large purchases and try to see if the other one feels its important or is something else more important. its not really asking permission (example) but more of a hey what do u think we should get first both are needed a fridge and a wash machine what one is more important for us to get first type of thing.

when i was in kashmir their heat if by pro-pain or what ever gas they call it is hard to come by so is electric in the winter time (he lives in a village).........so he asked me sara what do u and ur mom want more heat or lights of course we made the choice of heat so he went out and purchased a wood burning stove instead of a generator, sorry no electric heaters there or it would have been generator lol

i dont know if that helps u any but is the way we handle it

sara

[tenderheartusa79 14]

Well i agree and i know it is important to have communication.before spending or blowing money on expensive things like what people said here (BMW,new home.........)

But do you think you have to communication when you want to buy pair of shoes ? do you think you have to talk about it with your mate and ask him/her for a permission to buy your personal stuff like pair of shoes,t-shirts,pants..........?

[brnidokiegurl 0]

yes, most of the mena men think they can just come here and have free access to go buy without any consideration. The person who has been running the house knows what is expected for this month, any extras coming up, what can be spent etc so you just cant run out and get extra things sometimes, and at the grocery store you need to learn to look and compare the prices not just reach for something that looks good to you, same with any clothes or shoes, there are all different prices sometimes you just may not can reach for the most expensive (and the most expensive doesnt always mean it better) another thought they usually bring with them

trina it just takes a while to get them over this me me me phase

[Nessa 23]

my opinion, and this works for me, is that my wife and i share common financial goals. there is no my money or her money as long as the goals are collective (which they are). therefore, decisions regarding spending and investing should be collective as well. in practice, of course, neither her nor i sweat the small stuff. how do we know when to 'check in' with the spousal unit? call it instinct. you gotta have instinct, this is a marriage not a corporate board where you can hide behind documented guidelines.

my god even your marriage sounds socialist

i believe that's the perfect way to handle money in a marriage. Money earned, it doesn't matter by whom, is the household money. Still, there has to be communication, it's not because the money earned is collective that one can spend on whatever they want without making a decision together. If the money is collective, the decisions about how to spend, invest the money should be collective as well.

I guess i'm a socialist

[almaty 19]

Forget all the :communication" stuff.... thats how fights get started.

Actually Communication is way over rated, we have more communication today than we have ever had and we also have a near record divorce rate.

Compatibility is way more useful.

compatibility w/o communication leads to trouble....

[sara..... 371]

Well i agree and i know it is important to have communication.before spending or blowing money on expensive things like what people said here (BMW,new home.........)

But do you think you have to communication when you want to buy pair of shoes ? do you think you have to talk about it with your mate and ask him/her for a permission to buy your personal stuff like pair of shoes,t-shirts,pants..........?

i think it depends on what ur budget is, sometimes even small items such as shoes, pants, t-shirts can break the bank kind of depends on what ur main goal is, and if u can afford to do it

sara