Age and K1 Petition

[msu17 0]

The US embassy in Muslim countries really sends people out to interview your neighbors and friends about your religion?

Yikes.

Is the "yikes" directed at my ignorance of this process? I really hadn't heard about the home visits before. Do they take place before or after the interview? How far are they willing to go just to talk to your neighbors?

I've never heard of a home visit before either. I've heard of having several interviews, but that's it... It's definitely not a commonplace thing!

[KHPerfectMatch 1]

We both are on the same religion if you all are wondering. We weren't in the beginning of our relationship but we now are actually we have been on the same religion for about 6 months now.... It doesn't seem logical to have home visits and people from the embassy coming to ask 'neighbors' about MY relationship with MY fiance... My family and his DO know about our engagement only that mine doesn't 'fully' approve of it till now so we did not have a traditional engagement party... I don't know why would that create a problem to the embassy if we are legally able to marry according to the laws of both countries.... That kinda doesn't make sense if we both are on the same religion and providing formal papers that we both are and we are legally able to get married and they would do visits to ask family 'friends and neighbors' about our relationship.... That kinda doesn't make sense........

Doesn't matter if it makes sense to you or not..

My husband and I are in our 50's. We are both Muslim (I have been for many years), we were introduced by my former "cousin-in-law" (my ex's cousin) and his ex brother-in-law IN EGYPT, we didn't meet chatting on the net. I have a 21 year old Arab/American Muslim son, I was previously married to an Egyptian for many years... which ended in a "no-fault" divorce. Our visa process should have been a "slam dunk"... and it in some ways, it almost WAS... But they had to give themselves at least ONE SHOT at finding a way to deny us....

They did a HOME VISIT to his home in Egypt and his Mother's home... and asked many questions to his neighbors, his Mother's neighbors, the bawab at his Mother's building, and any one else they could find! Once they heard from the bawab that his ex-wife (and mother of his 3 children) still visited her children's grandmother... (who she lived in the same house with for 20 years...) They were hoping to prove that he still had a relationship with his ex-wife.. even though they have been divorced for more than 3 years at the time, AND it was their 3rd divorce! (so they cannot remarry unless she remarries someone else in between)... I guess it was their only hope of finding a way to deny his visa...

• You are young quite young, a female, and Muslim.... (so they assume you are an innocent lamb). They may worry that he is taking advantage of your innocence..
• He is American, and a "6 month convert" to Islam... so they might even suspect he is a wily coyote preying on the innocent lamb... (I assume he converted AFTER he met you... which of course means everyone will believe he converted to marry you... because Muslim women cannot marry Non-Muslim men (in Egypt and in Islam) and often become Muslim in name in order to marry their sweetheart.
• Your family is not that excited about the idea of you marrying him..

This gives them all the fuel they need to drag this process out as long as they can to see if they can out last the relationship. And they have been known to fuel the fire between the fiance and the family if they think this can break the relationship.

Insha'allah it will be easy for you.

[SCFsnoopy 0]

Doesn't matter if it makes sense to you or not..

My husband and I are in our 50's. We are both Muslim (I have been for many years), we were introduced by my former "cousin-in-law" (my ex's cousin) and his ex brother-in-law IN EGYPT, we didn't meet chatting on the net. I have a 21 year old Arab/American Muslim son, I was previously married to an Egyptian for many years... which ended in a "no-fault" divorce. Our visa process should have been a "slam dunk"... and it in some ways, it almost WAS... But they had to give themselves at least ONE SHOT at finding a way to deny us....

They did a HOME VISIT to his home in Egypt and his Mother's home... and asked many questions to his neighbors, his Mother's neighbors, the bawab at his Mother's building, and any one else they could find! Once they heard from the bawab that his ex-wife (and mother of his 3 children) still visited her children's grandmother... (who she lived in the same house with for 20 years...) They were hoping to prove that he still had a relationship with his ex-wife.. even though they have been divorced for more than 3 years at the time, AND it was their 3rd divorce! (so they cannot remarry unless she remarries someone else in between)... I guess it was their only hope of finding a way to deny his visa...

• You are young quite young, a female, and Muslim.... (so they assume you are an innocent lamb). They may worry that he is taking advantage of your innocence..
• He is American, and a "6 month convert" to Islam... so they might even suspect he is a wily coyote preying on the innocent lamb... (I assume he converted AFTER he met you... which of course means everyone will believe he converted to marry you... because Muslim women cannot marry Non-Muslim men (in Egypt and in Islam) and often become Muslim in name in order to marry their sweetheart.
• Your family is not that excited about the idea of you marrying him..

This gives them all the fuel they need to drag this process out as long as they can to see if they can out last the relationship. And they have been known to fuel the fire between the fiance and the family if they think this can break the relationship.

Insha'allah it will be easy for you.

Yikes, I'm starting to feel very very lucky about my consulate...!

[~ameriptian~ 54]

We both are on the same religion if you all are wondering. We weren't in the beginning of our relationship but we now are actually we have been on the same religion for about 6 months now.... It doesn't seem logical to have home visits and people from the embassy coming to ask 'neighbors' about MY relationship with MY fiance... My family and his DO know about our engagement only that mine doesn't 'fully' approve of it till now so we did not have a traditional engagement party... I don't know why would that create a problem to the embassy if we are legally able to marry according to the laws of both countries.... That kinda doesn't make sense if we both are on the same religion and providing formal papers that we both are and we are legally able to get married and they would do visits to ask family 'friends and neighbors' about our relationship.... That kinda doesn't make sense........

Yeah, I felt the same way when I first started looking into this whole process. I figured I was an American citizen, and it's my right to marry anyone I want, right? After reading lots of articles on the internet, and lurking for a couple of months on this forum, I've discovered that there's a lot about this process that doesn't make a lot of sense.

I read in an article from a well known immigration lawyer in Southeast Asia that the consular officers use the standard of "reasonable person" when determining if a relationship is legitimate. To the CO, the term "reasonable person" doesn't mean your neighbor down the street in Anytown, USA. It means an average person in the country where your foreign fiance lives. In other words, would an average person in that country consider your relationship to be legitimate, given the information the CO has available? If not, you can expect they're going to scrutinize your relationship closely.

Do most people in Egypt have an engagement party? If so, the CO is going to be asking themselves why you didn't have an engagement party, and if the reason isn't because the relationship is about immigration rather than love. Someone involved in immigration fraud is likely to want to skip anything that is time consuming or expensive, and just try to get the visa as quickly and with the least cost possible. Unfortunately, someone deeply in love is going to be tempted to do the same. By trying to take the fast track to getting their fiance/e to America, they lump themselves in with the fraudsters.

I'm glad I decided to investigate and found this site before I filed my petition. I was tempted to get engaged on my first trip. I was also tempted to skip the engagement ceremony and just file the petition. It's going to be a while before I know if the extra time, effort, and money is going to mean we get approved with little hassle. But, I do know that if I'd given in to my temptations then we definitely would have been denied.

I don't think the consulate is going to care much whether your family approves. They're more interested in whether his family knows and approves. In your fiance's culture, people rarely go against their family. It's the same in Vietnam, where many marriages are still arranged by the parents, especially outside of the big cities. If my fiance's family didn't approve of our engagement then she would have a big hurdle to overcome at her interview. At the least, they want to see pictures of me with her family, having a good time and being accepted as a member of the family. They want to see pictures of a big engagement party, with all of her family there having a great time. Family involvement is important in their culture, and I suspect it's the same in Egypt.

I'm curious which one of you converted in order to get engaged, and what religion did you convert to? I would have presumed that he was a Muslim, and that you converted to Islam, but I'm confused by the names "Aya" and "John". That would seem to imply that you were the Muslim and he was not.

Thanks for your reply... We already have been through too much and still are through too much just to get my family's approval, we thought that would be a proof of the genuineness and seriousness of the relationship that we have proof that we tried many times and still are not giving up.... Why would they makes this harder anyway!!

My fiance converted to Islam for many reasons and after learning enough about it, he did not only convert to get my family's approval or be with me... We both had almost the same views since day 1, things are great now that we practice the same religion but our relationship has been great and stable before and after him converting... I never asked him to convert, he did it because he wanted to do it and that made me respect his decision more.... He has got a Muslim name now but I still like to call him John that is the name of the man I met and fell in love with and I don't want to change it.....

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I'm curious which one of you converted in order to get engaged, and what religion did you convert to? I would have presumed that he was a Muslim, and that you converted to Islam, but I'm confused by the names "Aya" and "John". That would seem to imply that you were the Muslim and he was not.

Thanks for your reply... We already have been through too much and still are through too much just to get my family's approval, we thought that would be a proof of the genuineness and seriousness of the relationship that we have proof that we tried many times and still are not giving up.... Why would they makes this harder anyway!!

My fiance converted to Islam for many reasons and after learning enough about it, he did not only convert to get my family's approval or be with me... We both had almost the same views since day 1, things are great now that we practice the same religion but our relationship has been great and stable before and after him converting... I never asked him to convert, he did it because he wanted to do it and that made me respect his decision more.... He has got a Muslim name now but I still like to call him John that is the name of the man I met and fell in love with and I don't want to change it.....

Ok, wow. This isn't the typical Egypt fiance visa application!

If I understand you correctly, he was a non-Muslim (probably a Coptic, right?) living in Egypt, and you are a Muslim woman living in the USA. At some point after your relationship began he decided to convert to Islam, but he was non-Muslim at the start of the relationship.

Ok, I can understand why your parents might not be too excited about your relationship with him. When your relationship began he was a kaffir and you were a Muslimah. You crossed a pretty heavy social boundary there.

In any case, the consulate is not likely to ask your family in the US how they feel about the relationship. I haven't read anybody on this forum describing a situation where the consulate actually contacted the petitioner's family in the US. The closest I've heard is the consulate calling the petitioner in the US and asking a bunch of questions, and I've only seen one case where that's happened.

How is his family handling this? They know about his conversion, right? How will they respond if the consulate contacts them?

[~ameriptian~ 54]

We both are on the same religion if you all are wondering. We weren't in the beginning of our relationship but we now are actually we have been on the same religion for about 6 months now.... It doesn't seem logical to have home visits and people from the embassy coming to ask 'neighbors' about MY relationship with MY fiance... My family and his DO know about our engagement only that mine doesn't 'fully' approve of it till now so we did not have a traditional engagement party... I don't know why would that create a problem to the embassy if we are legally able to marry according to the laws of both countries.... That kinda doesn't make sense if we both are on the same religion and providing formal papers that we both are and we are legally able to get married and they would do visits to ask family 'friends and neighbors' about our relationship.... That kinda doesn't make sense........

Doesn't matter if it makes sense to you or not..

My husband and I are in our 50's. We are both Muslim (I have been for many years), we were introduced by my former "cousin-in-law" (my ex's cousin) and his ex brother-in-law IN EGYPT, we didn't meet chatting on the net. I have a 21 year old Arab/American Muslim son, I was previously married to an Egyptian for many years... which ended in a "no-fault" divorce. Our visa process should have been a "slam dunk"... and it in some ways, it almost WAS... But they had to give themselves at least ONE SHOT at finding a way to deny us....

They did a HOME VISIT to his home in Egypt and his Mother's home... and asked many questions to his neighbors, his Mother's neighbors, the bawab at his Mother's building, and any one else they could find! Once they heard from the bawab that his ex-wife (and mother of his 3 children) still visited her children's grandmother... (who she lived in the same house with for 20 years...) They were hoping to prove that he still had a relationship with his ex-wife.. even though they have been divorced for more than 3 years at the time, AND it was their 3rd divorce! (so they cannot remarry unless she remarries someone else in between)... I guess it was their only hope of finding a way to deny his visa...

• You are young quite young, a female, and Muslim.... (so they assume you are an innocent lamb). They may worry that he is taking advantage of your innocence..
• He is American, and a "6 month convert" to Islam... so they might even suspect he is a wily coyote preying on the innocent lamb... (I assume he converted AFTER he met you... which of course means everyone will believe he converted to marry you... because Muslim women cannot marry Non-Muslim men (in Egypt and in Islam) and often become Muslim in name in order to marry their sweetheart.
• Your family is not that excited about the idea of you marrying him..

This gives them all the fuel they need to drag this process out as long as they can to see if they can out last the relationship. And they have been known to fuel the fire between the fiance and the family if they think this can break the relationship.

Insha'allah it will be easy for you.

I think the consulate should be neutral enough not to judge the relationship based on traditions and how the average Egyptian would think.... Not all marriage cases are the same, are they? I have heard horror stories about how the embassy is in Egypt...lol Especially how Egyptian employees deal with beneficiaries at the interview stage, it is like they are searching for reasons to make the process much more harder... We are already facing hardships whenever we try to contact the embassy for any questions.. They NEVER answer to the point and usually ignore to reply back.... And I really DO wonder why the process is usually easier for male Egyptians, as being beneficiary, more than female Egyptians?! Regardless from the culture and traditions, isn't that considered discrimination of any kind?!!

I think your assumptions about what they would think is for the worst scenario that could happen, but thanks for being honest I appreciate it... We are ready for that already..... We hope things turn out better though....

And they have been known to fuel the fire between the fiance and the family if they think this can break the relationship.

Now that is really really bad.... Moving from the process of making sure if the relationship is it true or not to breaking it is certainly NOT of the embassy's work, or am i mistaken....? It's not that it is going to ever happen, but what kind of place is that....!! Well, hopefully, things will not be that bad....

[~ameriptian~ 54]

I'm curious which one of you converted in order to get engaged, and what religion did you convert to? I would have presumed that he was a Muslim, and that you converted to Islam, but I'm confused by the names "Aya" and "John". That would seem to imply that you were the Muslim and he was not.

Thanks for your reply... We already have been through too much and still are through too much just to get my family's approval, we thought that would be a proof of the genuineness and seriousness of the relationship that we have proof that we tried many times and still are not giving up.... Why would they makes this harder anyway!!

My fiance converted to Islam for many reasons and after learning enough about it, he did not only convert to get my family's approval or be with me... We both had almost the same views since day 1, things are great now that we practice the same religion but our relationship has been great and stable before and after him converting... I never asked him to convert, he did it because he wanted to do it and that made me respect his decision more.... He has got a Muslim name now but I still like to call him John that is the name of the man I met and fell in love with and I don't want to change it.....

Ok, wow. This isn't the typical Egypt fiance visa application!

If I understand you correctly, he was a non-Muslim (probably a Coptic, right?) living in Egypt, and you are a Muslim woman living in the USA. At some point after your relationship began he decided to convert to Islam, but he was non-Muslim at the start of the relationship.

Ok, I can understand why your parents might not be too excited about your relationship with him. When your relationship began he was a kaffir and you were a Muslimah. You crossed a pretty heavy social boundary there.

In any case, the consulate is not likely to ask your family in the US how they feel about the relationship. I haven't read anybody on this forum describing a situation where the consulate actually contacted the petitioner's family in the US. The closest I've heard is the consulate calling the petitioner in the US and asking a bunch of questions, and I've only seen one case where that's happened.

How is his family handling this? They know about his conversion, right? How will they respond if the consulate contacts them?

Well, No... I am Egyptian Muslim living in Egypt and he is American have-been Christian living in the US... I am not convinced with the 'kaffir-muslim' theory lol... Everyone is free to find his/her way to God the way they feel comfortable with, right? Luckily ours is the same now, but before that we had respect to each others' faiths and we both are understanding and open-minded enough to understand religion cannot be forced on anyone...

I understand my family's situation and I do accept that it is going to take a while to make things the way we hope... It is not easy at all, but we are doing it... We try every single day sometimes it goes easy, sometimes it goes hard... And, yes, they do know about his conversion and it was happy news because he is now a step closer to blend in with the family and be socially accepted... Things aren't great yet though... At this stage we are not ready for the consulate to contact them, but they do know about the relationship only that we are taking things easy and hopefully things will go right.....

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Well, No... I am Egyptian Muslim living in Egypt and he is American have-been Christian living in the US... I am not convinced with the 'kaffir-muslim' theory lol... Everyone is free to find his/her way to God the way they feel comfortable with, right? Luckily ours is the same now, but before that we had respect to each others' faiths and we both are understanding and open-minded enough to understand religion cannot be forced on anyone...

I understand my family's situation and I do accept that it is going to take a while to make things the way we hope... It is not easy at all, but we are doing it... We try every single day sometimes it goes easy, sometimes it goes hard... And, yes, they do know about his conversion and it was happy news because he is now a step closer to blend in with the family and be socially accepted... Things aren't great yet though... At this stage we are not ready for the consulate to contact them, but they do know about the relationship only that we are taking things easy and hopefully things will go right.....

Yikes! Ok, I went back and read your original post, and now realize you said you were the beneficiary. Wow, I completely missed that!

Ok, it sounds like your family might be getting a visit from the consulate investigators at some point. When you feel the time is right, you might want to discuss this with your family so that they'll know it's coming. If your fiance can spend more time with your family maybe they'll see his feelings for you and his newfound faith are sincere, and they'll warm up to him.

[~ameriptian~ 54]

Well, No... I am Egyptian Muslim living in Egypt and he is American have-been Christian living in the US... I am not convinced with the 'kaffir-muslim' theory lol... Everyone is free to find his/her way to God the way they feel comfortable with, right? Luckily ours is the same now, but before that we had respect to each others' faiths and we both are understanding and open-minded enough to understand religion cannot be forced on anyone...

I understand my family's situation and I do accept that it is going to take a while to make things the way we hope... It is not easy at all, but we are doing it... We try every single day sometimes it goes easy, sometimes it goes hard... And, yes, they do know about his conversion and it was happy news because he is now a step closer to blend in with the family and be socially accepted... Things aren't great yet though... At this stage we are not ready for the consulate to contact them, but they do know about the relationship only that we are taking things easy and hopefully things will go right.....

Yikes! Ok, I went back and read your original post, and now realize you said you were the beneficiary. Wow, I completely missed that!

Ok, it sounds like your family might be getting a visit from the consulate investigators at some point. When you feel the time is right, you might want to discuss this with your family so that they'll know it's coming. If your fiance can spend more time with your family maybe they'll see his feelings for you and his newfound faith are sincere, and they'll warm up to him.

We are putting that into consideration and hope it goes smooth... Thank you for your caring reply

[KHPerfectMatch 1]

Well, No... I am Egyptian Muslim living in Egypt and he is American have-been Christian living in the US... I am not convinced with the 'kaffir-muslim' theory lol... Everyone is free to find his/her way to God the way they feel comfortable with, right? Luckily ours is the same now, but before that we had respect to each others' faiths and we both are understanding and open-minded enough to understand religion cannot be forced on anyone...

I understand my family's situation and I do accept that it is going to take a while to make things the way we hope... It is not easy at all, but we are doing it... We try every single day sometimes it goes easy, sometimes it goes hard... And, yes, they do know about his conversion and it was happy news because he is now a step closer to blend in with the family and be socially accepted... Things aren't great yet though... At this stage we are not ready for the consulate to contact them, but they do know about the relationship only that we are taking things easy and hopefully things will go right.....

The point is not what the TRUTH is... "he converted because he came to believe in Islam...." the point is what people BELIEVE is the TRUTH... and you said it yourself... by converting he is a "step closer to blend in with the family and be socially accepted"..... The result of his conversion, social acceptance, is a strong motive TO convert... And there's no denying that fact...

In our case we both knew from the first time we talked about marriage that all my Muslim/Egyptian friends and (ex) relatives would believe that H was marrying me to come to the USA.. and all of his friends and family would also believe that even if he loved me and even if we are the "perfect match" that he at one level or another wanted to come to the USA. No matter what we said or did we would never be able to change people's minds.... they might stop saying it to us out loud... but they would still think it until proved otherwise...

It is likely that this is the same situation you'll face. Just as American women married to Muslim men are ALWAYS asked "did you have to convert to marry him???" Or even when we are in hijab they ask "are you Muslim"? People who are born Muslim are very skeptical of reverts in GENERAL, when marriage to a Muslim is involved... More so when it's the man who reverts because everyone KNOWS the Muslim woman CANNOT marry him (and stay Muslim!) if he does not. While Muslim men ARE allowed to marry Non-Muslim women...

To be honest, the Embassy is also looking at how likely it is that your marriage will last.. not just if your love and relationship is real. They know that if you get here and stay married 2 years, remove conditions, and file for citizenship... and the marriage later on ends, they will have approved you for citizenship... So they are no just looking at the PRESENT they are also looking at the future.

They will contact your parents to see if they can find out something that would give them a basis to delay the process, or cause enough "fitna" to cause you to stop the process. So if you are not ready for them to contact your family, slow down the process until you are ready.

It is really better for everyone involved (and especially your future children) for you to have the support and blessing of your family before you make a long term decision that will effect your entire future... This is why we have Wali's in Islam. Marriage (in Islam) is a union of more than just the husband and wife... it is a joining of two families. That is why it is so important that the families support the newlyweds in their marriage.

I asked my husband just now what he would think if his oldest daughter (19) announced her plans to marry an American man who just converted to Islam after meeting her... he thought for a while and said, "Let him live as a Muslim for 2 or 3 years, and if he is still strong in his deen, let him ask me about marriage THEN, they are young... let them wait and be sure..."

Does your fiance's Imam speak arabic, or better yet, is he from an Arab country? If so, you might have him keep in touch with your family to let them know how your husband is doing in his practice of Islam... (I am assuming your fiance is here in the USA..) That might carry some weight with them... to hear that he is faithful in his attendance at the prayers, and the Jummah, etc.

The Embassy likes the truth. Pleasant or not... they prefer it to truth avoidance and REALLY don't like dishonesty. Better if you tell them that your family has issues than for them to hear it for the first time from them...

Don't forget Istikara...

[~ameriptian~ 54]

Well, No... I am Egyptian Muslim living in Egypt and he is American have-been Christian living in the US... I am not convinced with the 'kaffir-muslim' theory lol... Everyone is free to find his/her way to God the way they feel comfortable with, right? Luckily ours is the same now, but before that we had respect to each others' faiths and we both are understanding and open-minded enough to understand religion cannot be forced on anyone...

I understand my family's situation and I do accept that it is going to take a while to make things the way we hope... It is not easy at all, but we are doing it... We try every single day sometimes it goes easy, sometimes it goes hard... And, yes, they do know about his conversion and it was happy news because he is now a step closer to blend in with the family and be socially accepted... Things aren't great yet though... At this stage we are not ready for the consulate to contact them, but they do know about the relationship only that we are taking things easy and hopefully things will go right.....

The point is not what the TRUTH is... "he converted because he came to believe in Islam...." the point is what people BELIEVE is the TRUTH... and you said it yourself... by converting he is a "step closer to blend in with the family and be socially accepted"..... The result of his conversion, social acceptance, is a strong motive TO convert... And there's no denying that fact...

In our case we both knew from the first time we talked about marriage that all my Muslim/Egyptian friends and (ex) relatives would believe that H was marrying me to come to the USA.. and all of his friends and family would also believe that even if he loved me and even if we are the "perfect match" that he at one level or another wanted to come to the USA. No matter what we said or did we would never be able to change people's minds.... they might stop saying it to us out loud... but they would still think it until proved otherwise...

It is likely that this is the same situation you'll face. Just as American women married to Muslim men are ALWAYS asked "did you have to convert to marry him???" Or even when we are in hijab they ask "are you Muslim"? People who are born Muslim are very skeptical of reverts in GENERAL, when marriage to a Muslim is involved... More so when it's the man who reverts because everyone KNOWS the Muslim woman CANNOT marry him (and stay Muslim!) if he does not. While Muslim men ARE allowed to marry Non-Muslim women...

To be honest, the Embassy is also looking at how likely it is that your marriage will last.. not just if your love and relationship is real. They know that if you get here and stay married 2 years, remove conditions, and file for citizenship... and the marriage later on ends, they will have approved you for citizenship... So they are no just looking at the PRESENT they are also looking at the future.

They will contact your parents to see if they can find out something that would give them a basis to delay the process, or cause enough "fitna" to cause you to stop the process. So if you are not ready for them to contact your family, slow down the process until you are ready.

It is really better for everyone involved (and especially your future children) for you to have the support and blessing of your family before you make a long term decision that will effect your entire future... This is why we have Wali's in Islam. Marriage (in Islam) is a union of more than just the husband and wife... it is a joining of two families. That is why it is so important that the families support the newlyweds in their marriage.

I asked my husband just now what he would think if his oldest daughter (19) announced her plans to marry an American man who just converted to Islam after meeting her... he thought for a while and said, "Let him live as a Muslim for 2 or 3 years, and if he is still strong in his deen, let him ask me about marriage THEN, they are young... let them wait and be sure..."

Does your fiance's Imam speak arabic, or better yet, is he from an Arab country? If so, you might have him keep in touch with your family to let them know how your husband is doing in his practice of Islam... (I am assuming your fiance is here in the USA..) That might carry some weight with them... to hear that he is faithful in his attendance at the prayers, and the Jummah, etc.

The Embassy likes the truth. Pleasant or not... they prefer it to truth avoidance and REALLY don't like dishonesty. Better if you tell them that your family has issues than for them to hear it for the first time from them...

Don't forget Istikara...

His motive to convert was NOT to have social acceptance... I cannot deny it is a good result, but certainly was not his motive to change his beliefs just for that reason which we still do not completely have..... People believe what they like to believe and make 'pre-assumptions' most of the time.... I do not have the right to judge anyone's relationship including yours, everyone is free to make choices and accept the outcome of these choices....

I appreciate the points you are trying to make.... And like you have faced 'false' judgements about your relationship with your husband and motives to be with you, you should understand that being in the same situation is hard.... As long as I am morally okay with my decisions I go for what I decided... I may look young to you, but I pretty am an independent, honest, and straight-forward person... I talked to my parents about my relationship with my now fiance since it first started, although I perfectly knew the consequences of my action... I have nothing to be ashamed about for choosing to be with my fiance... It is not my fault or his that we were born in different societies and have different cultures... Our teachings in Islam does not limit us to marry from a certain race or country, and the prophet teachings say that if the family accepts the level of religion (piousness) and morals of the suitor who is proposing to their daughter they should welcome him and let them marry... Traditions say otherwise and I am not going to base my life on traditions if I do not feel comfortable with them; which I do... I am not an anti-tradition person, I accept them if they make sense... God gave us minds to think and choose.... I do accept that things are going to take time to be alright and I certainly am not looking for a wedding and married life completely cast-away from them, they are very important in my life... Facing hardships now with them not accepting my choice is hard on my heart, but does not make give up on them or on my relationship with my fiance (which is the best thing I ever had and am grateful for)... I do want both and will do whatever it takes me to have both....

I am not having a second option other than saying the truth, I would feel morally uncomfortable if I did otherwise.... And, yes, my fiance attends his prayers in the mosque and he has some Egyptian friends there that he was introduced to at the mosque and has a good relationship with and that my family and I might meet soon.... He is learning Arabic but it is still going very slow, but he does his best and I love that he tries hard....

To conclude this, all I was asking about is the age question and whether we will need letters from my parents or not.... I appreciate your honest advice, but we are already in a hard situation being judged based on tradition that don't seem to change (you must know what I am talking about), and I was not looking to have my relationship with my fiance and his motives to convert judged... I know these are of the main topics my visa interview will be about, but assuming our motives from people close to us or online without asking first what they are, is not fair to a great extent.... I did do 'istikhara' a few times and I feel so comfortable.... I hope things goes as good as our intentions are....