Bizarre interruption interruption of dinner

[mendeleev 68]

My wife and I had a bizarre, disturbing experience last. We were paid a visit, lasting over an hour, by three police officers investigating a report of a domestic disturbance. Thing is, there wasn’t one, at least not in our apartment. I’d posting here because I’m interested in reactions from folks in the VJ community.

We live in the third floor of a 3 story apartment building; there are apartments on each floor below us and 3 apartments facing us in the next building. The evening was warm and we, along with several other neighbors, had windows open. During dinner we heard some man shouting loudly. My wife thought, correctly we now know, that it was our downstairs neighbor yelling at a sports game. (It turned out to be basketball.) I thought out loud about going outside to see what was going on or calling the police. She told me not to call police, because the State encouraged people to do stupid things like this in Stalin times and now Russians find this sort of tattling behavior reprehensible.

A while later, I saw a policeman climbing our stairs. We opened the door to ask what was going on, and he asked me to step out. Two policemen followed him up the stairs. I asked what was going on and they said they were investigating a report of domestic violence. The policeman alleged that there had been an argument and breaking dishes. I said, fine, show me the broken dishes. (Of course, there were none, but they didn’t admit that until quite a bit of time had passed.) Having succeeded in separating us, they proceeded to interrogate us, out of clear earshot of one another, about what we had been arguing. There was no argument. Alright, what were we yelling about. I said I wasn’t yelling and that we hadn’t been yelling. About that time, I hear my wife inside yelling at the police officer who was interrogating her. I made some comments to my cop, who was the oldest of the three, the calmest, and most reasonable, about cultural differences between here and Russia and the fact that, over there, the militia are abusive, untrustworthy and that my wife doesn’t take any guff from them. I also told him, and in succession, the other two cops about the yelling that I had heard. They told me they weren’t interested in that, they were investigating the two of us. The youngest cop asserted, incorrectly, that he heard us yelling when he was at our door. I don’t know if this was a fabrication on his part or if he heard (and completely misunderstood) a news broadcaster from Radio Baltica, which were listening to. It was time for the news when this guy turned up. This young cop insisted that he wasn’t going to leave until we told him all about our dinner conversation and what it was that we were arguing about. Problem was, the topics were not ones that plausibly correlate to argument. The ones I remembered were not the ones she reported. That added to my guilt. What was I not admitting!? the cops demanded to know.

I now better understand how innocent people can be pressured to tell the cops what they want to hear, even if untrue, in an attempt to make them go away. We resisted the temptation almost completely, and did rely on the fact that my wife, an emotional woman, sometimes is loud. She provided evidence to the young (and in her opinion, stupid) cop. But that didn’t help quite enough, since the yelling voice was a man’s. After something over an hour, the young cop yielded his physical interposition that prevented me from reentering my home and they left.

I have a business card for the senior policeman. My main concern was with the conduct of the youngest cop, who seemed to find the fact that I was calm and mildmannered as evidence that I was guilty of something.

I did tell the police that I was certainly quite embarrassed that someone would make an allegation of a domestic disturbance and that while I think we’re a pretty quiet couple, I would talk with my neighbors to see if they agree with that.

When I got back to my wife, she was calmer that I expected, and mad as hell. I told her that early in the conversation with the older policeman, I was warned that I could be arrested. She said that was funny, because he told her that these situations almost never end in arrest. Both of us did hold this oldest cop in higher esteem than his colleagues. She also told me that she saw a neighbor of ours walking back and forth beneath us, looking like he was snooping around, during dinner below the cops arrived. This guy is new.

After we calmed down a little, we talked with the two neighbors below us. The grad student living immediately below us apologized, telling us that he was yelling loudly at the TV during an exciting basketball game. (So my infallible wife scores another one ) I like this guy and although he is sometimes noisy, I wouldn’t call the police on him. The neighbors on the first floor report that they’ve never heard a peep from us. We told both neighbors that we had been falsely accused and who we think the accuser was. We warned the first floor neighbors to be careful how they conduct their arguments and to avoid loud conversations, lest they experience similar harassment. We haven’t talked with neighbors above or below the new guy yet. We know both sets of neighbors though and will probably see them later today.

My wife intends to give the new guy a piece of her mind.

So, some questions.

How would you respond to unjustified allegations like this?

If you are not under arrest, how long can the police keep you out of your home and away from your wife?

Would you complain to the police, if you experienced similar police conduct? (On this last point, our first floor neighbors are quite clear: they think we should complain.)

We live in a quiet town in Boulder County, Colorado. The area is reasonably affluent, safe and quiet. I am appalled at what we experienced last night, though.

Edited May 20, 2009 by novotul

[Nagishkaw 510]

Get a copy of the report first, then go to your State Police and file a complaint.

[john & jean 37]

I concur, do not allow this to continue. I would address it with all available officials, including the mayor, and the police chief!!!

[Peikko 1,575]

Perhaps the snooper thought you/partner were illegal immigrants. In which case, of course this invasion of privacy is justified, everyone on VJ says so. The good of the majority and all that.

Apartment living does have it's problems...

Edited May 20, 2009 by Madame Cleo

[justashooter 430]

there is no situation so bad that it can't be made worse by the addition of a few cops.

it is not your responsibility to stand around and answer questions for a cop. your answer should be, "to my knowledge I have commited no crimes, and I am unwilling to discuss this matter further without the advice of an attourney". if you say this enough times most cops will eventually go away. you just have to use patience with them. most of them work an 8 hour shift, and are reluctant to put in OT.

[almaty 19]

years ago..i had 3 cops and a pecker sniffing dog..come to my house..just me and my son lived there..

.stating there was a domestic disturbance called in at my address...we reported, "nope not here" and they wanted to look arounbd to see if i had cold cocked any females...

i knew the pecker sniffing dog and his handler and ask him to call in and make certain it was the right address..he did and the dispatcher had gotten the #s wrong..they left...with the german shepard..racking my nuts one last time with his long hard as a rock snout

[Chica Yeyé 41]

years ago..i had 3 cops and a pecker sniffing dog..come to my house..just me and my son lived there..

.stating there was a domestic disturbance called in at my address...we reported, "nope not here" and they wanted to look arounbd to see if i had cold cocked any females...

i knew the pecker sniffing dog and his handler and ask him to call in and make certain it was the right address..he did and the dispatcher had gotten the #s wrong..they left...with the german shepard..racking my nuts one last time with his long hard as a rock snout

was that before or after the very noted Bosco Summer Bash?????

[almaty 19]

prior to Bosco joining the family...and prior to me sending Fay...cold cocked upstairs ...back to zuni

[HannahP 119]

We actually had something like this happen to us a few weeks ago. Didn't end up filing a complaint but now the whole apartment complex probably thinks my husband is a wife beater.

[almaty 19]

damn sister hannah...your life is sometimes soap operaist

[Sandrila 1]

my husband and I also live on the 3rd of a 4 floor apt complex

surprisingly my husband and I fight way too much and have been really loud

No one has ever called the police on us although I am sure they are annoyed as all hell and thought about doing so.

I definitely would make a complaint to your local police station or research where the proper place to do that would be.

That would feel very intrusive and from my perspective there is nothing like being accused and labeled "guilty" for something you clearly did not do.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Hey - I have put in calls for domestic disturbances when people in my building get too damn noisy. I do not pay good money to deal with other peoples' drama and BS-- they can go scream elsewhere.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

I thought out loud about going outside to see what was going on or calling the police. She told me not to call police

Someone probably heard bits of this, and combined with other sounds/yelling, figured something was going on and called the cops.

now better understand how innocent people can be pressured to tell the cops what they want to hear, even if untrue, in an attempt to make them go away.

Only people that are not aware of their rights. You should of asked if they are charging you with a crime, and if they were, finish talking and get a lawyer. After the first 5 Min's, if it's not going well in your opinion, state what justshooter posted, "to my knowledge I have committed no crimes, and I am unwilling to discuss this matter further without the advice of an attorney" - legally, they have to stop asking you questions when you invoke this.

My wife intends to give the new guy a piece of her mind.

I would not recommend that, you may be wrong in fingering this person, as they were wrong in fingering you to the police.

How would you respond to unjustified allegations like this?

In a calm, respectful manner. Listen and obey their instructions. (been there, done that for other issues) - again, 5 mins in, if it's not going well, ask if they are placing you under arrest, if not, ask if you/they can leave, and they say no, invoke the lawyer... (helps to have a criminal lawyer's number handy).

If you are not under arrest, how long can the police keep you out of your home and away from your wife?

If your not under arrest, they can't keep you away from anything.

Would you complain to the police, if you experienced similar police conduct?

Yes, I would go to the station and file a complaint.

[trinket 30]

A couple of months ago someone knocked our apartment door thinking we were fighting, Joe knows the guy, he let him in and made him hear the loud shouting still going on; it was the couple next to us.

So I can really imagine how someday someone might call cops on us while the real culprits are living next to us. One of the days I do wish to call cops on them but I let go everytime, however I have slipped a small note to them, asking to get some therapy

[almaty 19]

Hey - I have put in calls for domestic disturbances when people in my building get too damn noisy. I do not pay good money to deal with other peoples' drama and BS-- they can go scream elsewhere.

you grumpy azz #######