Issue with illegal ex-husband & child support

[justashooter 430]

Forgive me for saying so but,

He may not be the guy you thought he was when you two got married but he is your daughters father.

Fathers are a lot harder to replace in life than are husbands, don't do anything that will haunt you in ten years.

every child needs both original parents in their life. do your best to keep the ex involved in the child's life.

she will respect you for it later, moreso if it is difficult for you. these words from a guy who had custody of 3 children from grade school up, and a difficult ex who never came current on support.

[Tygrys 143]

But, just as an idea - if your ex is so smart to bargain (saying: I'll do that if you forfeit your child support), why not tell him... you sign this thing or I'll hit you with a new suit for more child support due to my changed circumstances - you said you now have to pay things you did not have to pay before... Put some pressure on him...

what would those changed circumstances be and how does one go about doing that considering in most states child support is not an arbitrary or precedence thing but a actual mathematical calculation.

OP stated "...I truthfully told the judge I was not paying insurance for her. Now, I pay insurance, child care, dance, rent...etc." It sounds like changing circumstances to me. Besides, the child is growing and has increased needs. This alone may be a basis for child support adjustment.

I am not taking sides here, I don't know enough about he whole case... but it kinda pisses me off that the father offered his cooperation in passport matter for not paying support anymore.

[payxibka 10,045]

OP stated "...I truthfully told the judge I was not paying insurance for her. Now, I pay insurance, child care, dance, rent...etc." It sounds like changing circumstances to me. Besides, the child is growing and has increased needs. This alone may be a basis for child support adjustment.

I am not taking sides here, I don't know enough about he whole case... but it kinda pisses me off that the father offered his cooperation in passport matter for not paying support anymore.

I have been paying child support for more than 5 years... other then COLA adjustments there is no "changing circumstances" ability for my ex-wife to get an adjustment. It is a certain % of my pay regardless of age... just because the child is getting older and wants to dance, learn Karate, drive, get a car, etc.. is just life and is not reason to come back and get a change... at least not in my state

[Tygrys 143]

OP stated "...I truthfully told the judge I was not paying insurance for her. Now, I pay insurance, child care, dance, rent...etc." It sounds like changing circumstances to me. Besides, the child is growing and has increased needs. This alone may be a basis for child support adjustment.

I am not taking sides here, I don't know enough about he whole case... but it kinda pisses me off that the father offered his cooperation in passport matter for not paying support anymore.

I have been paying child support for more than 5 years... other then COLA adjustments there is no "changing circumstances" ability for my ex-wife to get an adjustment. It is a certain % of my pay regardless of age... just because the child is getting older and wants to dance, learn Karate, drive, get a car, etc.. is just life and is not reason to come back and get a change... at least not in my state

Well, originally I only suggested that OP talks with her ex and puts some pressure on him by threatening to pursue more support, since her circumstances changed. That could scare the guy enough for him to sign on the passport thing.

I never said she would in fact be able to get incresed support.

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

OP stated "...I truthfully told the judge I was not paying insurance for her. Now, I pay insurance, child care, dance, rent...etc." It sounds like changing circumstances to me. Besides, the child is growing and has increased needs. This alone may be a basis for child support adjustment.

I am not taking sides here, I don't know enough about he whole case... but it kinda pisses me off that the father offered his cooperation in passport matter for not paying support anymore.

Well I don't know about other states but Minnesota now takes both parents income to determine child support. Either I or my ex can ask to have it adjusted at anytime. As the statement above says, with changing circumstances it's possible to get a child support adjustment. Although, the truth of the matter is, is that if her ex is not working or making much money he may end up paying less regardless of how much she money she makes or what she takes care of (insurance, child care, etc.).

I have to agree with ya though, a parent bargaining a cooperation for a passport for not paying child support, hmmm....I just don't get it.

[Tsup2 0]

President Obama will give him legal status. Of course that won't help your situation but he will be eligible for all kinds of public assistance.

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

Can't you take him back to court and attempt to get him to sign the passport application that way? Take him back to court to get the judge to issue you the right to take the child out of the country on trips. I am sure he will have to provide proof as to why he doesn't want you to do so.

I am sure that someone should not be able to deprive a child of travel, because one parent wants to be spiteful or blackmail the other.

I was able to do a legal name change on my child without the father's consent and it was not that difficult.

Edited May 20, 2009 by jane2009

[*julez* 124]

I haven't read the entire thread, but wanted to let you know that I have sole custody of my 3 children and I receive child support from their father, my ex-husband. It is possible, depending on the circumstances.

[jundp 191]

If you do not have sole custody of your child you must have your ex-husband either appear with you to get the passport, sign and NOTARIZE a DS3053 form granting his permission for the passport, or you can fill out and have notarized the DS3053- section on Special Circumstances to prove why you can't get permission from your ex-husband.

You are only talking about getting a passport, no? When it comes time for you to use the passport for your daughter, however, please be aware that you should likely have a notarized form from your ex husband giving his consent to take your daughter out of the country - unless you have sole custody.

[justashooter 430]

If you do not have sole custody of your child you must have your ex-husband either appear with you to get the passport, sign and NOTARIZE a DS3053 form granting his permission for the passport, or you can fill out and have notarized the DS3053- section on Special Circumstances to prove why you can't get permission from your ex-husband.

You are only talking about getting a passport, no? When it comes time for you to use the passport for your daughter, however, please be aware that you should likely have a notarized form from your ex husband giving his consent to take your daughter out of the country - unless you have sole custody.

agreed that recent abductions of american citizen children by foreign national parents who have removed their "shared custody" children from the US have caused increased scrutiny of parents traveling singly with their children. this kind of thing has usually involved foreign men who have american wives they are divorced from. sadly, the american wife usually had primary custody in these cases, which usually involved ME or african men. google it. it's there in recent years. the law designed to prevent it shoudl also be easy to find.

[Peikko 1,575]

If you do not have sole custody of your child you must have your ex-husband either appear with you to get the passport, sign and NOTARIZE a DS3053 form granting his permission for the passport, or you can fill out and have notarized the DS3053- section on Special Circumstances to prove why you can't get permission from your ex-husband.

You are only talking about getting a passport, no? When it comes time for you to use the passport for your daughter, however, please be aware that you should likely have a notarized form from your ex husband giving his consent to take your daughter out of the country - unless you have sole custody.

agreed that recent abductions of american citizen children by foreign national parents who have removed their "shared custody" children from the US have caused increased scrutiny of parents traveling singly with their children. this kind of thing has usually involved foreign men who have american wives they are divorced from. sadly, the american wife usually had primary custody in these cases, which usually involved ME or african men. google it. it's there in recent years. the law designed to prevent it shoudl also be easy to find.

You really don't know how to stop, do you?

[Tygrys 143]

If you do not have sole custody of your child you must have your ex-husband either appear with you to get the passport, sign and NOTARIZE a DS3053 form granting his permission for the passport, or you can fill out and have notarized the DS3053- section on Special Circumstances to prove why you can't get permission from your ex-husband.

You are only talking about getting a passport, no? When it comes time for you to use the passport for your daughter, however, please be aware that you should likely have a notarized form from your ex husband giving his consent to take your daughter out of the country - unless you have sole custody.

agreed that recent abductions of american citizen children by foreign national parents who have removed their "shared custody" children from the US have caused increased scrutiny of parents traveling singly with their children. this kind of thing has usually involved foreign men who have american wives they are divorced from. sadly, the american wife usually had primary custody in these cases, which usually involved ME or african men. google it. it's there in recent years. the law designed to prevent it shoudl also be easy to find.

You really don't know how to stop, do you?

Anything wrong with telling the truth?