moving to america

[TBoneTX 44,679]

I haunt thrift stores and GoodWill. ... Retail therapy can be great - especially when you can come back with 6 or 7 great new items that totaled less than $20!

A 100% "si, man" to Kathryn, eh. The ladies in my office routinely freak out... er, "oot"... at my finds, but they're catching on that they can score +2 rather regularly if they guess that both my shirt and my tie are resale, si man. And, the cat likes to camp on the piles of clothes that are ready for the wash or the cleaners, miu man. Edited July 5, 2009 by TBoneTX

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Oh, and one other benefit - the clothes that you end up donating back are tax deductible as a charitable contribution.

[Dave and Helena 0]

We donate to Goodwill all of the time. My husband's mom and sisters shop there all of the time. It is almost like a contest among his family - who can pay the least. They brag about how little they spent. Finally, after 2 years of marriage they have offered to show me where to find the bargains. They are finally comfortable sharing their frugal ways with me.

Goodwill is a good organization, a great place to find bargains at and to donate to.

[TBoneTX 44,679]

Si, man, to Kathryn & Helena. I have typically itemized tax-deductions every other year. This is the first year that I have filed "jointly" in some time. It will be interesting to see if itemization of the 2010-paid-in-2011 return will equal the standard deduction for a married couple. Am intentionally NOT surmising about some of the ominous changes allegedly being bandied about in Washington, DC.

Returning to original topic, I do think that resale-shopping affords many benefits to the immigrant spouse and to the couple as a unit. What other unique shared activities can help the immigrant spouse adjust, and therefore us to adjust to said spouse? By "unique," I mean something other than "exercising together" and the like -- let's wrack our brains and come up with ideas that make readers think "Si man, you're right!" or "I never thought of that, no man," si man.

Edited July 5, 2009 by TBoneTX

[littlecrazyangel 1]

My wife (the USC) has been brilliant at trying specialties from my country:

- Snails

- Eels

- Tartare (raw beef )

- Foie Gras (half cooked or non cooked duck liver)

- Veal liver

- Raw oysters

- bloody t-bones and other bloody thick beef cuts

- Roasted lamb (like pulled pork if you will, but stronger taste)

- "disgusting cheeses" such as "Roquefort" which is like your blue cheese but much stronger and moldier

- Morbier (cheese with a layer of ashes in it the middle)

- tripes (digestive system of the beef => colon, stomach)

- rabbit

- pork head, tongue, feet

- bull's balls soup

So far, she loved everything Sounds good to you?

Cheers

The rabbit meat is very good. It is expensive in US?

[littlecrazyangel 1]

I'm the foreign spouse.I love animals and i don't share my bed with them until I come to USA....Mu husband's sheets were hairy. The first night we slept in the guest room and the following day we bought sheets and took the cat to get trimmed.

Now i'm used to share the bed with the cat. I love the cat, and we are thinking to adopt one more We have a queen size bed....

[*Snowdrop* 604]

What is it about Ecuatorianas (and other South Americanas?) that they consider their U.S. husbands' shirts to be "ugly" and take it as license to go through the husbands' closets and throw things out? The out-throwing did not happen to me (I purged things myself over time, according to my own level of tolerance), but it has happened to other U.S. husbands-to-Ecuatorianas. Explain, please, si man.

I dont think it is purely an Ecuadorian thing. I am Indian and my husband (USC) is from Mexico... When I first met him, I was itching to set his closet on fire when he wasnt looking. Now his closet is much better with my guidance. He literally walks into a store and picks up clothes that he thinks is his size and buys them.. So all his clothes were XXL, 2XL or 3XL which were way too big for him. Now I actually make his try on clothes before purchasing them despite his grumblings. But yeah, every once in a while, I go through his closet and make him throw away his old clothes

It's definitely not a purely Ecuadorian thing. I am from Sweden and I too would like to drench my husbands shirts in gasoline and throw a match on them.

Granted he has inspired me to wear more color instead of the Swedish black, gray and white. Could be because if I promise to come home with some colorful clothes I get to go shopping more often.

That's just a man/woman thing. I'm British and I want to completely change my husband's wardrobe! My mother taught me the technique she uses with my father which has worked perfectly for the last 45 years. You take one item that needs to go, say a shirt, and hide it. Eventually it gets forgotten about and then say 3 months later you throw it away. Then you pick the next thing. If enough fuss is made during the 3 months you 'find' in the laundry bag and try with something else. A lot of things can disappear that way and there are no arguments.

[Nik+Heather 121]

My mother basically buys all of my dad's clothes for him. So, every christmas, birthday, fathers day, he gets more polos, shorts, jeans, etc. He usually goes along with tossing out the holy/worn things once there are replacements.

With this strategy, I'd think that after a few cycles, all clothes would be picked out by the wife and therefore not too objectionable.

Nik read some article (I think it was on VJ actually) that men only buy their own underpants for something like 1/8th of their lifespan - the beginning taken care of by their mother, and the end taken care of by their wife. He says to me the other day "When are you going to buy me more pants??" :lol: At least I don't have to learn a new way of doing things.

[britbird 4]

Oh, I've definitely accidentally on purpose 'hidden' various wardrobe offenses belonging to my husband. And by hidden i do of course mean 'relocated to the goodwill collection box'.

[TBoneTX 44,679]

A lot of things can disappear that way and there are no arguments.

Oh, not around here, no man. Some things "disappeared" and someone's shapely butt nearly got immediately shipped back to Ecuador, si man. And I, the machista husband, control my half of the Goodwill donation-box, si man, and it gets thoroughly inspected before anything actually leaves the house, si man.

[Nik+Heather 121]

Oh, not around here, no man. Some things "disappeared" and someone's shapely butt nearly got immediately shipped back to Ecuador, si man. And I, the machista husband, control my half of the Goodwill donation-box, si man, and it gets thoroughly inspected before anything actually leaves the house, si man.

This made me laugh so hard - my dad's gone a little overboard with the documenting of the goodwill donations (excel list with line for each item) AND pictures. He has digital proof of all the things mother's given away...

[TBoneTX 44,679]

This made me laugh so hard - my dad's gone a little overboard with the documenting of the goodwill donations (excel list with line for each item) AND pictures. He has digital proof of all the things mother's given away...

Overboard when it comes to respecting or fearing the IRS, si man? No such thing, si man... er, no man.

With the wife currently in NYC trying to pass her penultimate courses for her business degree, I shall road-trip tomorrow (later today, actually) and see how many Goodwills I can hit (record so far is 5, tied many times). Will try for 2 or 3 in E. Texas & a couple in Louisiana, spend man. Do I need any more than the current 55 neckties (the paltry remainder after the donation of 27 others), do we think, man? And, of course, I lick my chops at the prospect of even more Ugly Gringo Shirts, si man.

[menina 50]

Not sure if this is the right place to post but it is about adjusting to life in the US. We have been married for a month and are waiting for AOS to be approved along with EAD and AP. My husband is in school full time, and I work to support us. (I am the US citizen). He is miserable and not adjusting well to life in the US. He just wants to go home. I don't know what to do; I am afraid that he will abandon the idea of staying here with me and thus end our process for AOS. Everyone keeps telling me that if he will just give it a chance here, he will like it. I try to be patient and supportive, but I don't know what to do to cheer him up anymore. I lived in a foreign country for 16 months, so I know how it is to adjust to everything new. It wasn't easy, but I survived and after awhile really enjoyed being there. He talks to his family and friends at home often via Skype and since he is at school all day he isn't just sitting around at home doing nothing, but knowing that I am the one supporting the family really bothers him. We have applied for EAD and obviously have to wait for that before our situation can change, but I see him getting more and more depressed every day. What can I do to help him? I've tried asking him that but he just says that there is nothing I can do, he just misses home. We both knew that there would be a lot of challenges when we went into this, but now that we are actually in the middle of it, he keeps telling me that it is just too hard. I believe that he is seriously depressed, and I am scared. He won't talk to anyone besides family about how he is feeling, so I don't see many options. Please don't reply with criticisms. I am doing the best I can. If you have some helpful advice or have been through similar experiences, I would appreciate your feedback. Thanks in advance.

[TBoneTX 44,679]

He is miserable and not adjusting well to life in the US. He just wants to go home.

First thing, Dear: Assure yourself (and him!) that he is not alone and that these feelings are entirely natural. (They truly are!) Next: Search the forums (especially this "Moving Here" forum) for posts about "Homesickness" and "Boredom" -- there are a great many excellent threads that will provide you & him some appealing ideas regarding how to handle your very natural situation. Read those threads in depth, and let us know what sounds best to the two of you.

---

Appending to my earlier post above: 3 Goodwills in Texas + 2 in Louisiana = 5, +1 Salvation Army in Louisiana = 6 = new all-time record, si man -- over 361 miles and in exactly 12 hours from house-leaving to returning. The wife was peeved at me for going without her, si man, but at least I wasn't out chasing blondes instead, no man (sigh, man).

Edited February 10, 2010 by TBoneTX