Was I Wrong?

[babybunny 2]

I can take 1 year off from my job to have a baby..

ever heard of FMLA..

It looks on the FMLA site like it's 12 weeks, not 12 months. I only ask where you heard the 1 yr thing because I recently completed a class about the sociology of childhood and stuff like this was discussed and being able to take off a year to work in the USA never came up (it does, however, happen in other countries). The discussion was more along the lines of how women in the USA don't get enough time off. Besides that it's unpaid!

so are you trying to tell me the RULEs of my company? sorry but we get 1 year off.

along with free medical insurance.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

I lived with friends awhile back, and experienced first hand the stay at home v. going back to work for the survival of the family fight first hand. If I learned anything from that experience, it was to keep my mouth shut, cause anything I said would piss one party or the other.

Best to offer support in any way you can other than advice.

[Miranda&James 8]

I can take 1 year off from my job to have a baby..

ever heard of FMLA..

It looks on the FMLA site like it's 12 weeks, not 12 months. I only ask where you heard the 1 yr thing because I recently completed a class about the sociology of childhood and stuff like this was discussed and being able to take off a year to work in the USA never came up (it does, however, happen in other countries). The discussion was more along the lines of how women in the USA don't get enough time off. Besides that it's unpaid!

so are you trying to tell me the RULEs of my company? sorry but we get 1 year off.

along with free medical insurance.

No, I'm telling you what the FMLA states since you quoted it as your source. Companies can obviously handle things differently but it looks like the required minimum is 12 weeks. You must work for a really good company!

[babybunny 2]

I can take 1 year off from my job to have a baby..

ever heard of FMLA..

It looks on the FMLA site like it's 12 weeks, not 12 months. I only ask where you heard the 1 yr thing because I recently completed a class about the sociology of childhood and stuff like this was discussed and being able to take off a year to work in the USA never came up (it does, however, happen in other countries). The discussion was more along the lines of how women in the USA don't get enough time off. Besides that it's unpaid!

so are you trying to tell me the RULEs of my company? sorry but we get 1 year off.

along with free medical insurance.

No, I'm telling you what the FMLA states since you quoted it as your source. Companies can obviously handle things differently but it looks like the required minimum is 12 weeks. You must work for a really good company!

look people normally take FMLA when their baby is sick or whatever. I did not quote anything from FMLA I said FMLA. because it exists! that aside

your trying to say that companys dont give up to a year for Maternity leave. infact there are companys

that do. and some companys give Paternity leave. I work for a dayum good company that is FAMILY ORIENTED. infact , my company offers comp time - so you dont have to use up your sick leave. or vacation time for that matter.

[nayalamb 1]

thanks guys... lets see if i can reply in kind...

raymaga, i get your point. you worked only WHEN YOU HAD TO. if they weren't in a financial pickle, then i wouldn't care and neither would her hubby. she took off time with both boys but returned to work after a while. ordinarily she would take a lot of time off before returning to work, but 3 kids is becoming hard to maintain on his single paycheck.

flames9 & karo, when i lived home, she would borrow $ from me almost weekly. or complain about how rough things are. the hubby has consolidated their debt and is trying, but its just not enough.

mand & lisad, she is getting pissy because i disagree with her. i wanna forget it, but she is treating me like an enemy of the state or something. i can respect her decision, but she can't respect my right to have a difference of opinion.

shon, no one expects her to be superwoman. hence, hired help. ideally, if she wants to stay home, great! but the money is tight and her hubby is asking for help. should she just say "tough luck" and watch them sink into debt? and i never suggested she give her baby to a stranger. we have friends who run daycare facilities. my other sister's kids went to one (a friend of mom's from church). the govt gives a tiny maternity benefit but that can barely cover a case of diapers. and since she quit her old job four months before she even got pregnant (she hated her boss), she's not on maternity leave or anything.

charlesandnessa, we stopped punching each other out like a decade ago...

gimy, her degree is in interior design. she can work for herself if she wants to and have the baby with her 24-7. like i said before, the hubby was willing to get a loan so she could start a business. she doesn't want to do that either. and the cost of hired help and daycare is cheap at home. not at all like in the states. we don't have income taxes or anything like that.

if she's determined not to work, so be it. i can't change that. its her life and she and the hubby gotta deal with it the best way they can. maybe i just feel bad for the guy. being the sole breadwinner is hard whether you are the man or the woman.

in future when she asks my advice, i will decline

[Wrenly 0]

I think that a lot of couples do the math and realize that one salary would end up just being enough to cover daycare, babysitters, etc and it ends up being a wash.

I hope that this disagreement doesn't turn into something much bigger, family is the most important thing! Much more important than being "right." (not directed to the OP, just in general)

I hope you work everything out!

[Ban Hammer 13,928]

charlesandnessa, we stopped punching each other out like a decade ago...

no way! that's all part of sibling rivalry!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Sometimes it's good NOT to give advice even when someone asks you for it. My hunch is that she was more or less looking for your validation than your approval. You could have validated her position without taking sides on the issue by encouraging her that whatever her decision she makes, you'll support her.

[babybunny 2]

shon, no one expects her to be superwoman. hence, hired help.

GIVE ME A BREAK!

you make up your mind! your saying you want HER to work and leave her kids at day care.

then you sputter her getting HIRED help? so basicly she is paying to be away from her kid

and pay someone to be up in her house doing things - she wants to do. I think you need to stop

poking your nose in your sisters life. if you were my sister I would have to tell you off - you would be crying with your tail between your legs. you dont even have a baby and trying to advise your sister.

wait til you have a baby.

[Jaylen Brit 1]

I don't think it should be a problem to be a supportive shoulder for your sister to lean on...you shouldn't be all 'i don't agree with you so don't talk to me about it.' Not saying that's what you're doing, but I see a few have suggested it.

The bottom line is, this has got nowt to do with you...you love your sister, will be there for her, but at the end of the day, it's her life & her choice to make. Let her and hubby deal with it whatever way they see fit.

Support her choice even if you don't agree..just keep your own counsel now - she knows what you think, as she asked, but don't mention it again and just be there for her.

Sometimes its wiser to keep the peace and be happy than be 'right'

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

shon, no one expects her to be superwoman. hence, hired help.

GIVE ME A BREAK!

you make up your mind! your saying you want HER to work and leave her kids at day care.

then you sputter her getting HIRED help? so basicly she is paying to be away from her kid

and pay someone to be up in her house doing things - she wants to do. I think you need to stop

poking your nose in your sisters life. if you were my sister I would have to tell you off - you would be crying with your tail between your legs. you dont even have a baby and trying to advise your sister.

wait til you have a baby.

shon rules!

[gimygirl 0]

looks like it's 'tread softly around shon' day!!

[babybunny 2]

I don't think it should be a problem to be a supportive shoulder for your sister to lean on...you shouldn't be all 'i don't agree with you so don't talk to me about it.' Not saying that's what you're doing, but I see a few have suggested it.

The bottom line is, this has got nowt to do with you...you love your sister, will be there for her, but at the end of the day, it's her life & her choice to make. Let her and hubby deal with it whatever way they see fit.

Support her choice even if you don't agree..just keep your own counsel now - she knows what you think, as she asked, but don't mention it again and just be there for her.

Sometimes its wiser to keep the peace and be happy than be 'right'

maybe if you support your sister it will bring you closer. I have a sister 10 years older. she makes

choices I dont agree. I know I make choice that makes her not agree. but, no matter what the choice

is we both support each other.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

looks like it's 'tread softly around shon' day!!

Hey, when she's right, she's right.

[gimygirl 0]

looks like it's 'tread softly around shon' day!!

Hey, when she's right, she's right.

eeehh ... she wasn't really. FMLA allows you to take 12 unpaid weeks off for family leave without threat of losing your employment. if you have sick or vacation time saved, you can use that ... again, that's a personal choice.

each and every company can then offer (or not) a maternity plan on top of that if they choose. obviously, shon works for a great airline that includes a generous maternity plan!

ergo, the MOST a woman can 100% count on in the US of good ole A .... is 12 weeks unpaid maternity leave.