advise, divorce/annulment

[trillium13 84]

Or do I just go ahead and accept this, stay married, and do as I have been(sleeping in a different room) and have what you might call an 'open relationship' with other women but not the wife and then just let her do her own damn thing in 2 years time when she is able to?

It sounds to me like you already know what you should do. Not sure why you'd even consider this option. Not only are you a victim here-so are all the other good and honest people who are trying to go about the whole immigration thing the RIGHT way-without defrauding anyone or ruining anyone's lives.

Edited May 17, 2009 by trillium13

[Jauque 1]

Or do I just go ahead and accept this, stay married, and do as I have been(sleeping in a different room) and have what you might call an 'open relationship' with other women but not the wife and then just let her do her own damn thing in 2 years time when she is able to?

17000 is a huge investment and I'm sure thats what weighs on your mind when you think about whether to throw in the towel, but a persons happiness and sanity are worth more than what money can buy. You need to get yours back.

As the other posters adviced the sooner you get started the better, it would be really unfortunate if you had to deal with abuse charges too.

Good luck!

[CA dreamer 3]

i got your solution.....>IP spoofing get a hacker or a comp tech to install it for you,keep it working it will record some data as ip packets,switch frames,ports to sites she is going through,and may be passwords typed also.

[Peace be still 6]

I can't believe you are considering such an act. She committed fraud and it's your duty to report her immediately. It makes it hard for the other Americans that are trying to get their loved ones over here when cases like this goes unreported.

[retiredfromforum 1]

Or do I just go ahead and accept this, stay married, and do as I have been(sleeping in a different room) and have what you might call an 'open relationship' with other women but not the wife and then just let her do her own damn thing in 2 years time when she is able to?

17000 is a huge investment and I'm sure thats what weighs on your mind when you think about whether to throw in the towel, but a persons happiness and sanity are worth more than what money can buy. You need to get yours back.

As the other posters adviced the sooner you get started the better, it would be really unfortunate if you had to deal with abuse charges too.

Good luck!

actually it is 29,000...the ring she placed on the computer desk as she walked out was about 12grand in value

[idocare 3]

Hi Jackofall trades,

I too was a victim of a greencard marriage scam. My ex-husband scammed me back in 2005, and still it nudges at me, the pain is still present, even tho he's been gone. I just want you to know that the claim of abuse is something that your wife will be willing to do. I hope you don't leave yourself open for her to exploit you in that way.

Unlike you I didn't have the e-mails with detailed information in them; concerning how to scam you; heck if I had I would of seen things for what they were earlier then I did. You say that you read e-mail regarding her the scam; what I don't understand is why your willing to sit there and talk about the possibilites of staying with her. Listen my friend, you think your depressed now, if that women comes back into your life and starts a fight with you, bruise herself and calls the cops on you, guess what; you'll be heading to jail. Having other family members in the same house isn't gonna save you unless they are around you both 24/7.

Do yourself a service and stay clear of that women; as for the 12 thousand dollar ring that she left behind I'll be more then glad to take it. LOL You don't need to have that sitting around to remind you of all those bad times you had with her, just send it to me; I'll appreciate it !!!

Maybe you could try to sell it and get some of your money back What ever you do, don't give it back to her !!!

Finally , I too admonish you to pull up your big boy trousers and deal with your situation, from what you shared with us it's clear to me that this women doesen't love you; please understand that. She never loved you. She loved what you could do for her but now she doesen't need you.( unless she comes back for the grand finale of claiming you abrused her ) It's important that you understand this.

As for ICE and USCIS, they won't tell you anything concerning her case since she now has her 2-year G-card. It's now her that has to deal with them; especially since she left you. Don't expect them to call you and ask for information from you. You have too just send the information and they say that they put the information in their files.

I'd also like to encourage you to send your local congressman a detailed story concerning this marriage fraud; they need to know how Aliens are using innocent loving Americans for a Green Card benefit. Maybe some day they'll change the laws for people to migrate here. But you must tell your story, as well as all of the others that have been involved in a marriage scam. That's the only convincing evidence we have to curtail this type of enlarging scam. Our local congressman and women need to know that innocent Americans are being falsely accused of being a abrusive spouse, some of us have being taken to jail based on a Greencard seekers many lies, some have lost their jobs and social statis; and were being totally taken advantage of.

Everyone of us Americans that have been scammed must not just sweep this under to rug and let someone else pick it up. Just as we filled out all that paperwork to get them into this Country it's equally important to imform the law makers of them breaking the laws that we live by.

[retiredfromforum 1]

Hell

I will go ahead and post one of the emails. This one is the step procedure email I call it.

There is one email this dude sent to her where he was discussing her previous financial exploits, listing people by name and dollar figure next to them....money for services....those types of services are illegal in the US.

Now I did not find this on the date it was sent...several months later actually

Date: Tuesday, November 11, 2008, 7:08 AM

Honey,

This attorney was the most knowledgeable and experienced one I have spoken to so far. He has twenty years experience and does 3 - 5 cases per year exactly like yours would be. Here is what he told me:

1) As we believed, you must wait for the conditional Green card. Unless there is abuse, all K-1 visa holders who marry their petitioners, then divorce prior to obtaining a conditional green card, would be forced to return to their home country.

2) In Virginia, currently the green card takes approximately five months to obtain.

3) He said traveling outside the USA while waiting for the Green Card and getting Advanced Parole really does not enhance your power, he could not imagine why the other attorney said that. Your likeliness to remain in America depends ENTIRELY on proving the marriage was entered into in good faith and was a genuine marriage.

4) The BEST things you can do while married is to assemble sufficient indications of a genuine marriage, such as: taking his name, living together at the same address, comingling of assets...that is, signing leases together, buying property together, getting insurance together, taking out a joint bank account and credit cards together, having your names jointly on as many accounts and services as you normally would as a married couple in America, having friends and witnesses of your being together, and should difficulties develop between you...even going to a marriage counselor together...all these things show intent to have a normal marriage and to try to keep it going.

The attorney said that Immigration Officials are not stupid, they try hard to prevent fraudulent immigration. They even work together with NexusLexus...a company which can dig up all the pertinent records on your marriage, co-mingling of assets, etc. to prove or disprove a good-faith marriage. Occasionally, though rarely, Officials even make random visits to see if the married couple are living together like married people do.... you need to keep yourself looking something like "the devoted wife" for five or six months, till you get that CARD...then you're on your way to freedom and affluence, my honey! By next Summer you could be filing for your own Unconditional Green Card!

5) After you get the conditional Green Card, you can divorce, your husband cannot prevent you from divorcing him....you can change back to your maiden name, and it is recommended you have your own lawyer representing you in the divorce, AND your immigration attorney working with your divorce lawyer. I will explain this in detail to you....but those two attorneys can even get your estranged husband to sign a statement saying that both of you entered the marriage in good faith. All these corroborating items can and will allow you to remain in America after the early divorce.

Even if you do not remain married for more than six months, if your case shows you married in good faith, you are very likely to be able to stay. Once you divorce, YOU apply yourself for a Waiver of Conditions, or a Form 751,...the same form the both of you would file after two years being married that, if accepted, allows you to get your Non-Conditional (10 year) Green Card. In other words, if you present a believable case that the marriage was sincere, you can get your permanent (10 year) green card, even after only being married six months or so!

You CAN marry again anytime after divorcing ....or you may not .....the Attorney said it does not help you to stay in the USA by remarrying, in fact, he said, you might want to wait a bit...because remarrying (soon after getting your Conditional green card and divorcing) would look a little suspicious... almost like this is what you planned to do from the beginning...obtain a green card fraudulently...and marry the guy you really wanted....

He said you might only feel "the need" to remarry if you were denied the Non-Conditional Green Card and were being sent home after two years here. Then marrying an American here and filing for a K-3 could bring you back to America. He said the K-3 would be the way to go in such a case, as there would be very little chance that Immigration would award you a second K-1 Fiance-type visa after you did not remain married on the first K-1 visa.

6) The Affidavit of Support your petitioner files with your K-1 visa is a promise to support you for TEN YEARS!! That is, EVEN IF YOU DIVORCE HIM, he MUST provide you with at least $17,500 a year for ten years. It is a Federal Law and cannot be removed in a divorce proceeding. Your ex-husband MUST pay you that if you want it, as the government assumes no responsibility for your support for those ten years.

7) ABUSE can be physical, mental, verbal....should your husband be abusive, you need only call the police and/or have witnesses who will corroborate the abuse for your records. Such cases can allow you to get an Unconditional Green card rapidly.....if there is some proof of this.

In Summary, it is all up to you ... if you can build a record of showing you married in good faith and tried to make it work...your chances of remaining in the USA are excellent. This attorney said he always wins such cases if you follow the above advice in building proof of a good-faith marriage. And he can coach along the way. If we have more questions I can call him anytime.

I would love it if you married me, and I wish you would, but it would not necessarily help you in staying here. My love for you is quite unselfish, I care more about your future than my own wishes. I would remain loving you and being your friend and lover regardless of whether we married or not. More than anything, I am hoping you can be patient and endure your marriage long enough to get to stay here...and then get your freedom and your real life going toward wealth and happiness. You carried this jerk for a year....carry him another six to eight months and you will be free and on your way to your dreams...its called postgratification......persevere just a bit more, and be smart and careful...as there is no turning back now. Not marrying him would set you back from freedom more than another year.....better to sacrifice 6 - 8 months than 12 - 14 months. I wish you were marrying me, not him, but you're not...we're stuck with him, so lets make the best of it, my love, we must do what is neccessary for the greater good....

(######, I sound like Obama...)

xoxoxo KISS!

[tulum 0]

Act like someone with balls, friend, and do whatever it takes to get her out of your home and life. Unless you really do like living this way, and she finds it acceptable as well. As to getting her deported, that's outside your pay grade. As to shipping her belongings back to the Ukraine, cheaper to rent a storage space and put them there where she can claim them.

Wow! I must be a big ole meanie, cuz I think this is all being too nice! For one-you discovered she planned to use you for a green card. two- you guess she has been cheating- away from home , in a motel, other guys numbers, who knows what else? three- you discover divorce websites she has been on....how big of a sign do you need?! she should be gone with the wind! if she is not already out of the house, I would get her out. let her go stay with one of the guys she met on the flight or send her back to the Ukraine [ might be worth it to buy her a one way ticket] and as far as getting a storage unit, i would toss her s&*$#&t in a dumpster! get the marriage annuled or get a divorce, whichever! the longer you stay in this, the closer you are to more trouble. you obviouly got a bad apple [ dont mean to talk bad about your wife, but it is what it is ] and im betting it has to do with her previous life in Eastern Europe. Do you still love her? you need to ask yourself this, becuz you seem uncertain and thats somewhat understandable, given the time and emotion[ and money] you invest when you do a K1. But you need to wake up now, the evidence is in your face- do something to get your life back or im sure you will regret it.

[retiredfromforum 1]

idocare

since you are from seattle

the man who was writing that letter lives in seattle...owns a small 2 man construction business...by all means if you have an extra brick in your car feel free to let loose with it hahahahahahaha

also

the ring is up for sale

I will accept $5000 to be rid of it:)

[rlogan 2,036]

Hello

Well sadly I am back. if you remember my post from a couple of months ago I had hacked into my wife's email account and found many dirty and incriminating letters plotting step by step how to use me for a green card and divorce.

So my wife recieved her 'conditional green card' not very long ago. Yesterday we had an argument over something extremely petty/insignificant and she left. Later that evening I called her to inquire where she was and she refused to tell me and then also that she had lied to me about where she was actually going and either drunk or on drugs. She never came back that night(fun times in the motel in college town I am guessing).

So after 24 hours and not knowing where she was and given the 'past' emails and websites I decided that if she was not going to tell me if she was ok or where she was that I would call the pd to check and make sure she was ok. I found out that she was not even and about 21/2 hours away in a college party town in a motel. She will also most likely not be coming home again tonight and who knows, maybe not the next night either.

She packed only her legal immigration papers and basic clothing, left the rest of the clothes at the apartment.

I had the pd document that she was in a different state and staying in a motel(paid for not by me as I closed my banking account thinking she had just taken off when she never returned that night)...If you read my previous post you would understand why I would think such a thing. I also had the pd document and ask her if she felt she had been abused, to which she said she had not been...for my defense against a future domestic violence charge.

She also recently came back from Ukraine as she was granted an advanced parole. On the air sickness bag I noticed that she had written many cell phone numbers of men she had met on her flight...that was real nice. She also got a cell phone(which I paid for without knowing of course) with a different number and has it 'locked' when she is not using it..recieving calls at odd hours. I also have not slept in the same bed as my wife for some time now and she recently informed me that she was no longer physically attracted to me...odd to me since I am in pretty good shape and went to college based off my athletic abilities and run 3 miles a day as well as hit the gym...so I believe I look pretty good physically. She is also very sneaky about her doings on the net as well. Everytime I walk in the room I hear multiple clicks on the mouse of her closing things out as fast as she can so I can't see what she was looking at. But my computer's history tells me she was doing a lot of reading on the topic of divorce in a couple immigration forums.

So, I have grounds for annulment based off of abandonment and immigration fraud if i really wanted to push it. The state of Va also has a somewhat special immigration marriage law I was reading...if less than 2 years to an immigrant if the purpose of her coming was based off of the valid marriage the marriage is annuled. I need to read into this a bit more...but that is what it appears to be. Protection of citizens of VA from faulty immigration marriages.

Do I go ahead and do this, Do I just annul the marriage then inform USCIS or do they figure it out in 2 years time when we are no longer married?

Do I go ahead and FEDEX her clothing back to Ukraine?

Outcomes/Consequences/Time Frame for things to be taken care of?

I as of yesterday was kind of pissed and even today...now not so much...I kind of pity her and her efforts to use me as a green card ticket. I tallied up to total bill to date...17,000USD the past 1 1/2 years....

Or do I just go ahead and accept this, stay married, and do as I have been(sleeping in a different room) and have what you might call an 'open relationship' with other women but not the wife and then just let her do her own damn thing in 2 years time when she is able to?

I read the previous thread and it looks like you did not follow the obvious advice of withdrawing the AOS. In that thread there was only one email, and the story now seems there were "many dirty letters", so I cannot for the life of me figure out what you were thinking by not withdrawing the AOS. You knew it was fraud at the time.

I almost want to infer you didn't even talk to her about it back then. Well, she is way far out in front of you on both the law and her plans. The one thing she may not have counted on is your ability to document fraud - and retention of that stuff is about the highest priority I can see right now.

Since you signed an affadavit of support, you have to get rid of that obligation by notifying USCIS of the fraud because she has every right to stay after a no-fault divorce and she will apply herself. And you will be liable for her. She does not have the right to stay if she was guilty of fraud in obtaining the conditional green card.

Jesus, I can't fathom sleeping in a different room in the first place, let alone participating in fraud - which is in effect what you would be doing. Accessory for sure.

Get the divorce or annullment, not sure it matters - but inform USCIS of the fraud and document it because you signed the affadavit of support and it is legally binding.

You are a prime candidate obviously for her to come back at any time and with very little effort convince you to do the wrong thing. Crying, begging, sex, feigned attempt to reconcile...

So good luck and this time do the right thing.

[retiredfromforum 1]

[ Do you still love her? .

that would be a yes, which is why the decision is so difficult. But not so much anymore...she has been gone for a few days now and not coming back in my place.

I dont want to toss her #######...she has a 3000 minx coat

that is up for sale as well...any bidders for 2000? hahahahaha.

that was a joke, coat is not up for auction:)

[retiredfromforum 1]

So good luck and this time do the right thing.

yes i know i did not withdraw after i mentioned finding the emails...if you would really like to know the number of emails....hmmmmmmm i bet it took me a 2 weeks to get through all her ####### in her email(S) plural as she had about 6 different email accounts....

so with that going on and not knowing where the relationship was going...i sent her home while i figured out what to do.

I do know now what to do though.

[Ban Hammer 13,550]

idocare

since you are from seattle

the man who was writing that letter lives in seattle...owns a small 2 man construction business...by all means if you have an extra brick in your car feel free to let loose with it hahahahahahaha

also

the ring is up for sale

I will accept $5000 to be rid of it

advertising like this is a tos violation.

[John and Camie 39]

I read the previous thread and it looks like you did not follow the obvious advice of withdrawing the AOS.

Yeah, I remember that, too. Damn, was so sure that was going to be the end of it. Sorry you're still going through this nightmare, Jack. I hope you eventually find someone who will TRULY care for you as much as you cared for her.

[Tygrys 143]

2) What are some of the more common signs that I may be a victim of immigration fraud?

a. Your spouse hides his/her internet use from you, or won't use the computer with you around.

b. Your spouse is visiting dating sites.

c. Your spouse keep secrets about who phone conversations are with.

d. Your spouse avoids physical contact with you. Your spouse frequently "has a headache" when it comes to intimacy. Your spouse makes excuses for this. You feel more like roommates than you do a married couple.

e. Your spouse is trying to gain control of your finances and your assests, but surprisingly has a separate bank account. Your spouse wants access to your assests, but does not want the responsibilities for your liabilities.

f. Your spouse tries to provoke confrontations with you, over seemingly trivial things.

g. You have an unexplained feeling that your spouse wants you to become physical.

h. Your spouse calls 911 after a verbal argument, and complains of physical abuse.

i. Your spouse tells family, friends, and neighbors stories of physical abuse.

j. Your spouse begins talking to a women's shelter.

k. A great resource for more information on some of these signs is GREEN CARD HUNTERS.

I went through and every question here I can answer to(but the police calling and the women's shelter at least for now).

You have to act and protect yourself BEFORE her abuse claims become reality. You already know this marriage is dead, now act quickly and decisively.