How big of a mistake?

[Dai. 7]

Yeah i Recommend MagicJack too I bought one for my mother in law to call us in the US whenever we leave, it's so easy, almost idiot proof.. A really good invention.

[toddandhien 2]

Good luck, my friend. I hope Trinh is the one for you. She's a really cute girl and all smiles

[LuckyDucky 0]

I know it's off subject somewhat, but what is the best way to call VN? I've looked at several different calling plans online. AT&T (my cell service) definitely is NOT one of them. I was just looking at AloViet. It seemed fairly reasonable and I can get call logs from them for immigration purposes. It can also be used (pinless) from anywhere by any registered phone number. Any thoughts?

Does she have internet access at home? If so, buy her a MagicJack and a cheap telephone. Hook it up and register it in your own area code. Bring it with you when you return to VN. She'll be able to call you anytime, talk as long as she wants, and it will be a local call. It's like $30 per year!

I'll have to look into MagicJack. I've never heard of it before!

We use Startec to call Vietnam. It's about 5.5 cents per minute to Vietnam, which isn't that expensive, but they do have some large taxes which add an additional 25-30% to your bill. You can also register your cell phone number with them. You call that 800 number from your cell and then make an outgoing international call. So from your cell phone company's perspective you're making 800 domestic calls (just cost you in minutes), and you just get billed at your home phone at the regular 5.5 cents / minute.

It's convenient, but not necessarily the cheapest out there. However, it's definitely not bad.

[Dai. 7]

How's getting to know the sister going?

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I know it's off subject somewhat, but what is the best way to call VN? I've looked at several different calling plans online. AT&T (my cell service) definitely is NOT one of them. I was just looking at AloViet. It seemed fairly reasonable and I can get call logs from them for immigration purposes. It can also be used (pinless) from anywhere by any registered phone number. Any thoughts?

Does she have internet access at home? If so, buy her a MagicJack and a cheap telephone. Hook it up and register it in your own area code. Bring it with you when you return to VN. She'll be able to call you anytime, talk as long as she wants, and it will be a local call. It's like $30 per year!

I'll have to look into MagicJack. I've never heard of it before!

We use Startec to call Vietnam. It's about 5.5 cents per minute to Vietnam, which isn't that expensive, but they do have some large taxes which add an additional 25-30% to your bill. You can also register your cell phone number with them. You call that 800 number from your cell and then make an outgoing international call. So from your cell phone company's perspective you're making 800 domestic calls (just cost you in minutes), and you just get billed at your home phone at the regular 5.5 cents / minute.

It's convenient, but not necessarily the cheapest out there. However, it's definitely not bad.

Ok, I should clarify - MagicJack is not going to save you any money at all calling Vietnam, unless the person you're calling in Vietnam has a MagicJack.

The company that sells the MagicJack has connection nodes all over the United States, plus Canada. These nodes allow them to connect an incoming call from the internet to the local telephone network, and complete the call just like any local telephone call. Now, the original intent of this was to allow someone in one part of the US to call someone in another part of the US without incurring long distance charges. This works because the actual connection to the local telephone network is a local connection in the destination city. The rest of the connection is handled over the internet. The upside is that the source internet connection does not have to be in the United States. It can be virtually anywhere in the world. This means someone in Vietnam with a MagicJack can call anywhere in the US virtually for free. The only cost is the annual MagicJack subscription fee, which is around $20. (I previously said $30, but I was incorrect.)

Now, you CAN make international calls outside the US with a MagicJack. However, you have to purchase pre-paid minutes from MagicJack, and the calls are charged as if they were being made from the US, even if the MagicJack is not attached to a computer in the US. Calls to Vietnam from a MagicJack would cost $0.30 per minute. The way to get around this is to give the MagicJack to the person you want to call in Vietnam.

When you first get the MagicJack you have to configure it for an area code and phone number. You pick the area code, and MagicJack will assign you a phone number. If you choose your own local area code, then you'll be able to call that MagicJack from anywhere in your area code just like any other local number. You also get voice mail, so you can leave them a message in case their computer isn't turned on, or their MagicJack isn't plugged in.

You can buy MagicJack at Best Buy and Radio Shack.

[Kevin-n-Merlaine 14]

How's getting to know the sister going?

Honestly, I don't know..LOL I'm about to wash my hands of the whole situation. I've only talked to her once on the phone but I think both she and Thao are going to "meet me at yahoo" (love that expression for some reason lol) tonight. I keep getting mixed signals so I'm not sure what the hell's going on. I get - "she cares about you and want's to talk to you", then "she cares about you but only as a friend because she thinks you are a very good person and misses you" - all coming from different family members here in the states. I won't know until I ask her one on one. "She loves you but can't love you because you courted Thao". I thought that one had to do with some kind of cultural thing and I was not happy to say the least. Thao treated me like a red headed step kid in public!! LOL. Turns out, Thao had some second thoughts after I left...too flippin bad girly! The family's decided they're keepin me so I think they have a "roster" of eligible ladies..LOL. They were afraid, for years, for it to appear that they would use me to get family here so they never tried to "fix me up" with a relative (I've known them for close to 8 years). Now this happened the first time I went to meet someone. Oh my, do we have a LIVID Vietnamese family here!! LOL!! I'm the one trying to calm them down and tell them it's ok..LOL

I'm thinking "This is just too much of an emotional roller coaster, I quit", and they're thinking "We love you, we just want you in our family so we don't care who you wind up with in the end as long as you are both happy FOREVER!"

Soooo, either she's coming to meet me because she felt a connection with me too or to tell me I look too old like Thao thought. Either way I won't know until I break open the Google translate and my Vietnamese dictionary "at yahoo" It may even require a beer - and I don't drink.

[Dai. 7]

Wow Bizarre love triangle.

[Anh map 2,098]

Let the dust settle. Viet families want to get inside all of your business. Not being mean, just being honest. Let the gals calm down and if Trinh wants to reach out she will.

[Kevin-n-Merlaine 14]

Ok, got that all sorted out. I don't think I'll make another post here until I'm engaged..good lord. I'm not throwin in the towel, but I'm leaving in my back pocket so it's easy to get too. According to them, it's just one big misunderstanding. That's fine, I have a car show tomorrow to get ready for I've learned a lot from all of this - mostly that A LOT get's lost translating Vietnames and English back and forth. I'm not saying another word here about relationships until I'm inviting all of you to my wedding. How embarrasing..LOL

[Dai. 7]

So you aren't getting the girl?

[SuperDuper! 230]

Sorry it wasn't what you expected... There are plenty of fish in the sea man. Why didn't you take a longer vacation and spend a couple of days exploring Ho Chi Minh City, Thailand and other Asian countries. It would get your mind off things better and you might even find a better person.

Kevin ,

Go to Cebu and get yourself a Filipina girl who will treat you right, and be thrilled, not ashamed, to be seen with you. Whatz up with that??!! Plus, they speak ENGLISH in the Philippines, which is nice, cuz you can actully communicate with your potential wife, which is kind of important. If an Asian girl cant appreciate a cool Kano, then dump her. Itz good that Kevin beat feet outta Ho Chi Minh when he did. Why do they call it HO anywayz...

Edited June 13, 2009 by itzallgood

[Kevin-n-Merlaine 14]

Sorry it wasn't what you expected... There are plenty of fish in the sea man. Why didn't you take a longer vacation and spend a couple of days exploring Ho Chi Minh City, Thailand and other Asian countries. It would get your mind off things better and you might even find a better person.

Kevin ,

Go to Cebu and get yourself a Filipina girl who will treat you right, and be thrilled, not ashamed, to be seen with you. Whatz up with that??!! Plus, they speak ENGLISH in the Philippines, which is nice, cuz you can actully communicate with your potential wife, which is kind of important. If an Asian girl cant appreciate a cool Kano, then dump her. Itz good that Kevin beat feet outta Ho Chi Minh when he did. Why do they call it HO anywayz...

LMAO..Thanks man. That's why I like this place Nope, no girl for me. I'm just glad to find out everything now. It's all good. I'm stickin around cuz you all crack me up Really though, thanks!

[Kevin-n-Merlaine 14]

Oh, and feel free to throw my name around in the Philippines

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

A very interesting thing happened today...

If you know anything about Vietnamese culture, then you know that they celebrate things related to dead relatives, like birthdays and such. The family members gather together and prepare a big meal, say some prayers at the family altar, and basically just have a good time. Personally, I think the Vietnamese will use ANY excuse for a big feast!

Another aspect of Vietnamese culture is that once you're engaged - dam hoi or dinh hon - then you're 'officially' family. As a consequence, I've been invited to several of these family feasts since I returned from Vietnam in April, and my fiancee has made it clear to me that she expects me to attend, so I always do.

Today was the feast for Phuong's grandmother. Phuong already celebrated at her mothers home on the actual day of her birthday, but family in the US often postpone the feast until weekend so that everyone can be there. The feast was at the home of Phuong's uncle Van and his wife Ngoc. Also in attendance were the uncle's sister Lien and husband Tran, Phuong's older sister Thu, the daughter of Phuong's sister Hang and her husband Binh, and various other relatives and their kids.

Also, we set up a webcam in the living room, and Phuong got up early in Vietnam so that she and her kids could chat with the family in the US, and be part of the celebration. The webcam chat session lasted about an hour, and Phuong was thrilled to have a chance to "be there" and talk with everyone. The webcam was my idea, so I think I earned some serious brownie points today.

Ok, back to the topic of this thread!

Phuong's uncle Van and I were talking after the meal, and he asked about the two "friends" I was supposed to meet at SFO on their way to Vietnam. I explained about the mechanical problems with Todd's plane, and the fact that Kevin couldn't get his boarding passes because the checkin counter was closed, so the meeting never happened.

He then asked how each person's visit to Vietnam went. He was under the impression that both were going to be with their fiancee's for their visa interviews. I explained that Todd's fiancee got her visa, and offered a few details that I'd read here about that. I then told him the sad story of Kevin's rejection in Vung Tao.

The room went silent as I told Kevin's story...

As soon as I had finished with the short version, the room erupted in chatter. Ngoc and Hang were drilling me for details about what happened and why. What did Thao say? What did her family say? What did Kevin say? Thu speaks very little English, so she was sending her questions through Ngoc and Hang. Van listened patiently, and I could only respond with what I had read here. I mentioned that I thought Thao was pretty young, and all of the girls were in agreement that this might be why she had been so fickle. I also mentioned what Kevin had said about her family latching on to him, and everyone nodded in unison like a shelf of bobble-head dolls!

What had gotten everyone so flustered was that a Vietnamese girl had let the relationship progress to the point where her boyfriend went to the trouble to actually travel to Vietnam to meet her, and then reject him. They had never heard of such a thing. I asked if maybe it was something that would be more common in the far south, but they flatly rejected that theory, but they were willing to concede that maybe girls from the north might be so rude (they are all from Hue province). In the end, the girls all agreed that Thao's age was probably the root of the problem, and that Kevin should focus on a more mature Vietnamese girl - like 25!

Anyway, Kevin, Mr. Van says you can send him your email address anytime and he'll be happy to introduce you to a 'well mannered' Vietnamese girl (after checking you out, of course). He's the acting family patriarch, and therefore the 'official' matchmaker of the family, so this is one of his responsibilities.

[Kevin-n-Merlaine 14]

A very interesting thing happened today...

If you know anything about Vietnamese culture, then you know that they celebrate things related to dead relatives, like birthdays and such. The family members gather together and prepare a big meal, say some prayers at the family altar, and basically just have a good time. Personally, I think the Vietnamese will use ANY excuse for a big feast!

Another aspect of Vietnamese culture is that once you're engaged - dam hoi or dinh hon - then you're 'officially' family. As a consequence, I've been invited to several of these family feasts since I returned from Vietnam in April, and my fiancee has made it clear to me that she expects me to attend, so I always do.

Today was the feast for Phuong's grandmother. Phuong already celebrated at her mothers home on the actual day of her birthday, but family in the US often postpone the feast until weekend so that everyone can be there. The feast was at the home of Phuong's uncle Van and his wife Ngoc. Also in attendance were the uncle's sister Lien and husband Tran, Phuong's older sister Thu, the daughter of Phuong's sister Hang and her husband Binh, and various other relatives and their kids.

Also, we set up a webcam in the living room, and Phuong got up early in Vietnam so that she and her kids could chat with the family in the US, and be part of the celebration. The webcam chat session lasted about an hour, and Phuong was thrilled to have a chance to "be there" and talk with everyone. The webcam was my idea, so I think I earned some serious brownie points today.

Ok, back to the topic of this thread!

Phuong's uncle Van and I were talking after the meal, and he asked about the two "friends" I was supposed to meet at SFO on their way to Vietnam. I explained about the mechanical problems with Todd's plane, and the fact that Kevin couldn't get his boarding passes because the checkin counter was closed, so the meeting never happened.

He then asked how each person's visit to Vietnam went. He was under the impression that both were going to be with their fiancee's for their visa interviews. I explained that Todd's fiancee got her visa, and offered a few details that I'd read here about that. I then told him the sad story of Kevin's rejection in Vung Tao.

The room went silent as I told Kevin's story...

As soon as I had finished with the short version, the room erupted in chatter. Ngoc and Hang were drilling me for details about what happened and why. What did Thao say? What did her family say? What did Kevin say? Thu speaks very little English, so she was sending her questions through Ngoc and Hang. Van listened patiently, and I could only respond with what I had read here. I mentioned that I thought Thao was pretty young, and all of the girls were in agreement that this might be why she had been so fickle. I also mentioned what Kevin had said about her family latching on to him, and everyone nodded in unison like a shelf of bobble-head dolls!

What had gotten everyone so flustered was that a Vietnamese girl had let the relationship progress to the point where her boyfriend went to the trouble to actually travel to Vietnam to meet her, and then reject him. They had never heard of such a thing. I asked if maybe it was something that would be more common in the far south, but they flatly rejected that theory, but they were willing to concede that maybe girls from the north might be so rude (they are all from Hue province). In the end, the girls all agreed that Thao's age was probably the root of the problem, and that Kevin should focus on a more mature Vietnamese girl - like 25!

Anyway, Kevin, Mr. Van says you can send him your email address anytime and he'll be happy to introduce you to a 'well mannered' Vietnamese girl (after checking you out, of course). He's the acting family patriarch, and therefore the 'official' matchmaker of the family, so this is one of his responsibilities.