How big of a mistake?

[Kevin-n-Merlaine 14]

No it wasn't fake. We'd been talking on the internet since December last year. She knew all the details about me and had seen me twice a week on cam since then. I guess I just wasn't what she expected (somehow) when I got there. I'm 6'3" and had explained that many times. She told her family that was the main reason. It's just different when you get to meet face to face I guess. It wasn't for me. She was just exactly what I expected - short of her obvious disappointment. None the less, she pretty much freaked out and didn't want to pursue the relationship further with me. It was quite uncomfortable going places with her because she was, I'm speculating, ashamed to be seen with me. I stand out pretty well (lol) and people stare. It didn't bother me - just smile, say hello and people are very friendly

She was friendly and I enjoyed her company when we were at home. She took very good care of me - got my iphone worked on for use there, handled all the money and took care of everything that I would have struggled with. Her family is wonderful. I miss them already

Soooo I just stayed 2 weeks instead of the planned month, ran around with the family, went to Dalat and tried to make the most of my trip. Com sau do (spelling viet) as they say. It was a good trip but all I came home with was my luggage and a bag from the duty free shop in Taipei - oh wait, I even lost that at LAX

[Dai. 7]

Sorry it wasn't what you expected... There are plenty of fish in the sea man. Why didn't you take a longer vacation and spend a couple of days exploring Ho Chi Minh City, Thailand and other Asian countries. It would get your mind off things better and you might even find a better person.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

No it wasn't fake. We'd been talking on the internet since December last year. She knew all the details about me and had seen me twice a week on cam since then. I guess I just wasn't what she expected (somehow) when I got there. I'm 6'3" and had explained that many times. She told her family that was the main reason. It's just different when you get to meet face to face I guess. It wasn't for me. She was just exactly what I expected - short of her obvious disappointment. None the less, she pretty much freaked out and didn't want to pursue the relationship further with me. It was quite uncomfortable going places with her because she was, I'm speculating, ashamed to be seen with me. I stand out pretty well (lol) and people stare. It didn't bother me - just smile, say hello and people are very friendly

She was friendly and I enjoyed her company when we were at home. She took very good care of me - got my iphone worked on for use there, handled all the money and took care of everything that I would have struggled with. Her family is wonderful. I miss them already

Soooo I just stayed 2 weeks instead of the planned month, ran around with the family, went to Dalat and tried to make the most of my trip. Com sau do (spelling viet) as they say. It was a good trip but all I came home with was my luggage and a bag from the duty free shop in Taipei - oh wait, I even lost that at LAX

I guess I can sort of understand. Vietnamese girls are so tiny, and Americans are a lot bigger by comparison. I'm a full foot taller than Phuong. It doesn't show in my avatar pic because Phuong was wearing heels with her ao dai. I'm only 5'11", but I still look pretty tall next to her.

Is Thao fairly young? I'm just being nosy, but I get the impression that the physical stuff is more important to younger girls. The older girls seem to be more concerned with how their fiance/husband is going to treat them, and whether he has a gentle personality, and how he gets along with their family. Stuff like that. Phuong and I are 8 years apart, she in her 40's and me in my early 50's.

On the plus side, I'm glad you discovered this now and not after she arrived in the states and married you.

I guess you're going to focus on finding another job and getting back to work now, right?

[endoftheroad 1]

No it wasn't fake. We'd been talking on the internet since December last year. She knew all the details about me and had seen me twice a week on cam since then. I guess I just wasn't what she expected (somehow) when I got there. ...

Thanks, should really let others know that even when you converse so much that the proof is in the meeting. Probably better that this happened now with her, rather than later.

You'll be fine I think. There are so many good Viet women (and Chinese too I might add) just waiting to meet you.

[Kevin-n-Merlaine 14]

Sorry it wasn't what you expected... There are plenty of fish in the sea man. Why didn't you take a longer vacation and spend a couple of days exploring Ho Chi Minh City, Thailand and other Asian countries. It would get your mind off things better and you might even find a better person.

Thanks But speaking NO Vietnamese or any of the other adjacent countries languages, I thought I'd be better off to stay with the family and make a decent time of it with them. Thao's sister Trinh was a lot of fun and just drop dead gorgeous. I really enjoyed spending time with her and her boyfriend and the rest of the family. My visa was going to expire 1 day before my scheduled departure so rather than mess with extending that, and in lieu of the outcome there, I just enjoyed my 15 days and called it good. The family loved me as much as I did them so ... They want me back next year..lol

[endoftheroad 1]

... Thao's sister Trinh was a lot of fun and just drop dead gorgeous. I really enjoyed spending time with her ... The family loved me as much as I did them so ... They want me back next year..lol

Maybe Trinh does too?

[Dai. 7]

Lots of people don't speak any vietnamese but they still enjoy being in HCMC. When I first visited thailand i did not speak any thai and i had a hell of a time there. When you go to tourist places you english will get you by and you can have some fun. Btw americans dont need a visa to go to thailand.. Thats the only country i know of in SE Asia that i know of, i am sure there are plenty more i just havent found out.

[Kevin-n-Merlaine 14]

... Thao's sister Trinh was a lot of fun and just drop dead gorgeous. I really enjoyed spending time with her ... The family loved me as much as I did them so ... They want me back next year..lol

Maybe Trinh does too?

I just sent her an sms message to let her know how much I'd enjoyed her company She isn't too happy with her man. He's a really nice guy but, and I know this is hard to imagine, but he drinks too much..lol She made a point to remind me a few times that Dalat was "verrrry romantic" while we were there She was very bubbly, big smile and a lot of fun so either way I'd like to keep in touch with her and the rest of the family.

[Anh map 2,098]

I'll keep you posted when we go back over in case you need a chaperone.

[Kevin-n-Merlaine 14]

Thanks everyone. Yes she's quite a bit younger so I'm sure that played a huge part in it.

I talked to a former boss that moved to a different company before I left for VN. I gave him the short story of what I was doing and he said to come see him when I wanted a job I've never been too worried about getting back to work. I know a lot of people here in the city so I was pretty confident I'd go to work when I wanted/needed to.

The family was pretty upset with Thao. Her Aunt Hai had grilled her for months about her intentions. She insisted I was who she wanted, etc, etc. I think they're all looking for a woman for me now LOL!!

[Kevin-n-Merlaine 14]

Went to see the family again today to take them copies of all the photos and video I took. I was right, Aunt Hai's woman looking..LOL Someone on here said, once the family decides they love you and want to keep you...they will. Well, I guess they are I think that's been the hardest part of this deal. Sure I'm disappointed about Thao, but I've been disappointed before. It's the rest of her family that I really love and care about. I do have one question. Is it just me, or are Asian women like crack?! I got back to the states and now I find American women even less attractive. I'm thinking they need a surgeon generals warning printed on them somewhere.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Went to see the family again today to take them copies of all the photos and video I took. I was right, Aunt Hai's woman looking..LOL Someone on here said, once the family decides they love you and want to keep you...they will. Well, I guess they are I think that's been the hardest part of this deal. Sure I'm disappointed about Thao, but I've been disappointed before. It's the rest of her family that I really love and care about. I do have one question. Is it just me, or are Asian women like crack?! I got back to the states and now I find American women even less attractive. I'm thinking they need a surgeon generals warning printed on them somewhere.

"Is it just me, or are Asian women like crack?!"

Seriously, I see beautiful women of every race and culture, but I have to admit that I've always thought Asian women were 'exotic'. I think it's the eyes. With Anglo women you can tell exactly what they're thinking from looking into their eyes. With Asian women, the eyes are a black hole - what's going on behind them is a complete mystery.

[luckytxn 2,265]

Trang is 4ft 11 inches tall and I am 6ft 1 inch tall so it had to be a stretch. I am also very loud and bubbly and know I had to embarrass her many times but everyone loved me a lot and she just fell in love with me more. It is strange that she gave the excuse of you being too tall and hearing her aunt grilling her about her intentions seems to be the nut of the matter. She seemed to have made up her mind before as witnessed her aunt.

[Anh map 2,098]

I have a friend with an au pair from China.....

[Kevin-n-Merlaine 14]

I have a friend with an au pair from China.....

I thought I should tell you I used your name when I was staying in Vung Tau. I've never been fed so much so often in my entire life!! My god those tiny girls can eat!! I told them I'd be Anh Map when I left...cracked um up. Every time we sat down to eat, half the family would say "eat more" then laugh. I do miss the food. We went fishing for the afternoon and had Elephant Ear fish and two bottles of wine. They would just yell across the little lake we were at. There were little thatch roof bungalows set out in the water around it with tables set up. They'd yell and a little while later a guy would show up with a platter of food and more wine...good day