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trailmix

Marrying and being married

By trailmix in Canada

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63 members have voted

  1. 1. You are Canadian, he/she is American and you are in love! He wants you to come and live with him in the U.S., the only way to accomplish this is for you to get married are you ok with:

    • A promise that you will try living together and see where it goes.
      8
    • A commitment for the rest of your lives to love, honour and cherish
      55

  2. 2. You have decided to get married, what is important to you?

    • A full, lavish wedding, all the bells and whistles and a nice ring tyvm
      3
    • A nice, simple, lovely ceremony with our closest friends there
      36
    • I don't care where we get married, it can be a courthouse
      24

  3. 3. Your now Husband/Wife is homesick and wants to go to Canada for 3 weeks. This is non-negotiable he/she announces - "I'm taking off for 3 weeks, alone, whether you like it or not". He/She does not wish to discuss it. How do you react?

    • Umm...no.
      15
    • Ok, I guess
      19
    • Have fun honey and bring me back some ketchup :)
      29

61 posts in this topic

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Sam and Ben Proficient

Sam and Ben   2

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (pnd) Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted
Hi Sam,

I don't think you're being paranoid at all, this is a huge and serious life changing commitment.

If my fiancee said to me "I wish they wouldn't force us to marry right away, it'd be nice to get to know each other in the sense of living together and working toward something without all of that first..."

That would concern me. They're not 'forcing' you to get married..... Even though you haven't lived together, you should know that it will work no matter what.... and you don't want to get there, be married and he decides he doesn't enjoy living together, or whatever.

Maybe his comment was "off the cuff", but I'd want to have a serious chat with him about this whole situation. After all, this is marriage, not just a test run to see how it will all work out.

See, you completely and entirely stole the words out of my mouth.

He assured me that his comment was strictly off the cuff, that he was simply expressing his frustration towards our inability to spend more time physically together before marriage and all of that... but still, it has struck me in such an odd way that I don't know how to address it. And I don't know how to address him regarding it.

I understand doubts. He even questioned me on that when I mentioned my 'slight' hurt... and I agreed. He could change into a completely different person overnight, despite the years, or even us living together or anything else. People can and do change, none of us are stagnant.

However... marriage is that leap of faith in believing that, from everything you know and have seen expressed in that other person, that it will work out, that you do suit one another, and that you won't face unrecoverable changes ahead... I just don't want to jump THAT FAR on faith alone if this is a sign of something more..

I did start another thread in this forum... didn't want to defer away from the discussion that began in this thread... sorry.

01/08/2010 - Applied for SSN in maiden name.

01/09/2010 - Married! Officially a Missis.

01/19/2010 - Received SSN in mail.

02/10/2010 - Sent I-485/I-131/I-765 to Chicago.

02/19/2010 - NOA dates for all applications.

02/22/2010 - Received NOAs in mail.

02/23/2010 - Applied for SSN for married name.

03/04/2010 - Applied for Florida DL in married name.

03/09/2010 - Biometrics appointment.

04/18/2010 - AP received.

04/23/2010 - EAD approved.

04/27/2010 - AOS Interview at Orlando USCIS (decision pending).

04/28/2010 - Card production ordered!

05/03/2010 - EAD received.

05/03/2010 - Welcome letter received.

05/28/2010 - Green Card received in mail.

01/26/2012 - Mailed RoC packet to VSC.

01/30/2012 - NOA date on application.

02/01/2012 - Cheque cashed.

02/05/2012 - Received NOA in mail.

02/10/2012 - Touch.

02/24/2012 - ASC Appointment Notice dated.

02/27/2012 - ASC Appointment Notice received.

03/23/2012 - Biometrics appointment.

09/20/2012 - Touch. Card Production ordered!

09/21/2012 - Touch.

09/24/2012 - Touch. Card mailed.

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