Marrying and being married

[trailmix 77]

Just a 'kind of' poll on some of the topics in here right now - so what is your view?

Edited May 14, 2009 by trailmix

[Misty1979 0]

Hmm...I must have taken a different meaning from the last question, considering I was only one of 2 people who answered "umm..no," lol.

I was assuming that the circumstances were that everything was peaches and daisies between us, they suddenly, he pulls THAT out of nowhere

[trailmix 77]

Hmm...I must have taken a different meaning from the last question, considering I was only one of 2 people who answered "umm..no," lol.

I was assuming that the circumstances were that everything was peaches and daisies between us, they suddenly, he pulls THAT out of nowhere

I think it can be either way....I mean peaches and daisies or other stuff going on.

[Sprailenes 47]

I think time apart is as important as time together in any relationship.

I just felt like saying that.

[ashenflowers 5]

I don't think I'm able to answer #3 properly, because my situation with my fiancé is a bit unique I think, compared to most. He actually USED to live in Canada where I live, and we have quite a few mutual friends here now... unfortunately we didn't know each other when he did live here, and met after he moved to California... go figure. But I think I'd be really hurt if he decided to come back here for a visit without me, because I'd miss the chance to also visit some of my friends and family at the same time. Same with him... I'm sure he'd be sad if I came here to visit without him, and saw our mutual friends and left him behind... We've already discussed the possibility though, and have promised to always travel here together when we visit though, so that each of us has an equal chance to visit our old friends. I guess my answer would be 'umm... no'... and I'd be super suspicious if he wouldn't want to talk about it, because we talk about everything... lol

I dunno... it's weird... that situation would never come up with us... Maybe that sounds naive, but I truly don't think it would. We're spending so much time apart now though, since we're still at the long distance beginning of this process, it's hard to think about wanting to spend MORE time apart later...lol... but I know that 24/7 time together would make me go insane...

Edited May 14, 2009 by ashenflowers

[raymaga 25]

We're an old married couple now (coming up to 5th year anniversary in August), but I can go back to Canada ANY TIME I want, with my husband's blessings (thankfully).

I agree that time apart is a good thing.... we're both pretty independent.

Edited May 14, 2009 by raymaga

[bowflex 0]

I'm actually really surprised about the 3rd question and most people saying that they'd not even have a problem with it. I always thought that marriage was based on compromise so if one just wants to leave with three weeks with no discussion or anything I'd definitely think something's wrong with that. Time apart is very important but just up and leaving for 3 weeks with no chance to discuss is some garbage if you ask me Lol.

[domegirl1978 1]

I answered the 3rd question with the answer I could leave and he'd be like "BYE see you in 3 weeks" because I also have a weird situation. I lived in Florida for 3 years of my high school years and thats where I met my fiance. He met my whole family while I lived there and loves them immensely. We stayed friends for 5 years after high school and he would come over and hang with me and my mom and we'd always have a blast.

We lost contact for 7 years and then found each other again on Facebook of all places and now after 2 years here we are going thru the K-1. He knows how much I love Montreal and will miss my family and friends.

I'm super close with my grandparents and leaving them now as they approach their 80s is so hard for me and he knows that. Even if he can't take the time off and I can, he would 100% be ok with my coming back to Canada for 3 weeks or even more if I wanted to.

[JillA 2]

I also think time apart in any relationship is important. Of course I never ASK my husband's permission to go home for a visit, I tell him. He would NEVER in a million years try to hold me back, I went home for 2 weeks and that was just fine. He knows how important going home is, and he wants me to be happy and see my family/friends. If he got mad about that, there's something wrong with him then. Just like the other day, I said honey I'm going home for 6 days the first week of June, and he said that's great! Your Mom will be thrilled to see you. If he was different (i.e. controlling of what I do, where I go, who I see) we certainly wouldn't be together as I'm very independent.

Edited May 14, 2009 by JillA

[thetreble 19]

I'm actually really surprised about the 3rd question and most people saying that they'd not even have a problem with it. I always thought that marriage was based on compromise so if one just wants to leave with three weeks with no discussion or anything I'd definitely think something's wrong with that. Time apart is very important but just up and leaving for 3 weeks with no chance to discuss is some garbage if you ask me Lol.

Don't get ya there Bowflex. What does going home for 3 weeks have to do with compromise? I don't think they are related in any way. When you move to be with someone, I hope that someone understands that you will be going home for certain periods of time for the rest of your life. My husband wouldn't care as it's my decision and he would never stop me. i've done it before! I don't see what the big deal is actually.

[Misty1979 0]

I was understanding question 3 more or less in a "I'm pi$$ed off and leaving for 3 weeks, and you can't stop me or ask any questions," kind of way.

If my husband was the Canuck, and wanted to go home for three weeks in normal circumstances though, I'd be all for it! Time apart is definitely important, and time with your relatives who you sort of ditched for another country is equally important. Of course, he'd have to bring me home some poutine and dill pickle chips

[JillA 2]

I was understanding question 3 more or less in a "I'm pi$$ed off and leaving for 3 weeks, and you can't stop me or ask any questions," kind of way.

If my husband was the Canuck, and wanted to go home for three weeks in normal circumstances though, I'd be all for it! Time apart is definitely important, and time with your relatives who you sort of ditched for another country is equally important. Of course, he'd have to bring me home some poutine and dill pickle chips

On my last visit, I brought back poutine sauce, a 24 of Alexander Keith's beer, tons of wine gums, bits and bites, dainty rice, montreal bagels..... My husband wants me to go home more often

[Misty1979 0]

I was understanding question 3 more or less in a "I'm pi$$ed off and leaving for 3 weeks, and you can't stop me or ask any questions," kind of way.

If my husband was the Canuck, and wanted to go home for three weeks in normal circumstances though, I'd be all for it! Time apart is definitely important, and time with your relatives who you sort of ditched for another country is equally important. Of course, he'd have to bring me home some poutine and dill pickle chips

On my last visit, I brought back poutine sauce, a 24 of Alexander Keith's beer, tons of wine gums, bits and bites, dainty rice, montreal bagels..... My husband wants me to go home more often

Mmmm...I forgot about wine gums and Keith's! (What a good combination What is dainty rice, though? It's ringing a bell, I know I've heard of it, but not sure if I've ever had it.

[TimandJoyce 1]

I had to answer #3, based on what Tim would say... Course I made him say what I want to hear... But I know that he would never hold me back. Besides, the first time I go back to Canada, after we get married, is to go to my son's wedding!! And Tim will be with me. So I'll be back sometime next year anyways.

#2 I answered that a courthouse would be fine. It's my 3rd marriage , but Tim's first, so we're having a great big southern wedding...but that's ok. It's the groom's day!

[JillA 2]

I was understanding question 3 more or less in a "I'm pi$$ed off and leaving for 3 weeks, and you can't stop me or ask any questions," kind of way.

If my husband was the Canuck, and wanted to go home for three weeks in normal circumstances though, I'd be all for it! Time apart is definitely important, and time with your relatives who you sort of ditched for another country is equally important. Of course, he'd have to bring me home some poutine and dill pickle chips

On my last visit, I brought back poutine sauce, a 24 of Alexander Keith's beer, tons of wine gums, bits and bites, dainty rice, montreal bagels..... My husband wants me to go home more often

Mmmm...I forgot about wine gums and Keith's! (What a good combination What is dainty rice, though? It's ringing a bell, I know I've heard of it, but not sure if I've ever had it.

Dainty is a brand name of rice, only sold in Canada. You can get it in the rice section of the grocery store, or Dollarama also sells Dainty. It comes in a can, with different package flavours such as mexican, chinese, primavera, chicken, etc. My Dad happens to work for Dainty, therefore he gives us boxes of free rice all the time. So my hubby got addicted to it when visiting me, and now I always try to bring some back (if I have my car, there is no limit on what I can bring back!)