My husband finally arrives tonight -- Why am I so nervous?

[Campanita 0]

I am picking my husband up at the airport in 5 hours and now that the time is FINALLY here, I feel sooooo nervous. I was so excited up until today and now I just feel like a bundle of nerves. I am afraid he is not going to like it here, that it will be too big of an adjustment for him and he will return home. He has never been out of his country and is leaving his son (from a previous marriage) behind. Has anyone else on this board started to doubt at the last minute? This is so weird....like I said I was nothing but thrilled until this morning. Maybe tihs is just anxiety and will go away FAST. Any suggestions on some good things to do for him his first weeks here so he can feel as comfortable as possible? Thanks, you guys.....

[Karen_L 1]

I am picking my husband up at the airport in 5 hours and now that the time is FINALLY here, I feel sooooo nervous. I was so excited up until today and now I just feel like a bundle of nerves. I am afraid he is not going to like it here, that it will be too big of an adjustment for him and he will return home. He has never been out of his country and is leaving his son (from a previous marriage) behind. Has anyone else on this board started to doubt at the last minute? This is so weird....like I said I was nothing but thrilled until this morning. Maybe tihs is just anxiety and will go away FAST. Any suggestions on some good things to do for him his first weeks here so he can feel as comfortable as possible? Thanks, you guys.....

AWWW!!!! ::HUGS!:: I know it feels weird, but I think it's perfectly normal/natural to feel nervous and apprehensive about his arrival! My fiance' (if he gets the visa) is due to arrive here in about 1 month and I'm SUPER excited, but I'm also nervous about him meeting everyone and how he will adapt to life here, etc. I'm also worried about how he and I will get along being around each other every day too (maybe we only work as a LDR!!?!? AHHHHH!!) But I think you (and I) just want everything to be perfect for our fellers, which is why we're nervous.

Maybe you can take some time off from work (even if it's just a few days) and spend those days helping him move in and settle himself? Take long walks together to help him learn the lay of the land? In any event, for the first days, take it slowly and I'd suggest spending time alone instead of like rushing out immediately and introducing him to everyone you've ever met lol

Edited June 29, 2006 by Karen_L

[sukie175 0]

Awww you'll be fine, it's a wonderful time. Just give him understanding and lots of love as he adjusts to the idea he is here for good now. It can suddenly hit you and its like OH MY GOD!! But he obviously wants to be right here with you and even if you have rocky moments, keep that in mind. I speak as the one who moved and it is a HUGE deal leaving everything you know behind.

Be prepared for him to suddenly need you for everything...I was like a 5 year old again, I literally did not even know how to use the phone (dialling that is). I had a major losss of confidence for about 3 months and as I had always been so confident that led to anxiety. It is just gonna take time and if he has never left his country before, maybe longer than I did.

You need to really teach him how, what, where evrything is and works, it will take awhile but show understanding and alot of patience. Don't be scared if he is initially not the person you thought you knew, I wasn't, just stand in his shoes and imagine being taken out and away from everything familiar. Don't feel threatened if he is really homesick or upset, just support him and love him.

I am now 9 months down the road and this is definitely home, I have no desire to even visit the Uk yet. Where he is coming from I am not sure if English is spoken widely, but if language is an issue remember that will magnify everything I have told you about tenfold and he could also feel very isolated.

One thing that helped me alot was the PC, so dont feel angry if he spends alot of time on it. I needed it to keep up with news from home, listen to BBC radio on the web and email with my friends and family.

You'll be fine if you just remember what he has done to be with you is HUGE and the bravest move anyone can make I think

If some days get tough and you need to pour it out, just PM me.

Sarah

Edited June 29, 2006 by sukie175

[Jaylen Brit 0]

Wise words sister sarah

I'm a bit apprehensive about going - but only cos it'll be a place where I don't have the inside track on how things work, like banks and the SS system, things that make you feel comfortable, even tho I've been in the US before, once 'lived' in Ca. (huge expat community nearby in santa monica, so it was almost home from home! lol).

I know I will feel a bit 'fish out of water' for a while - ditto my daughter who will be going into elementary school where the learning/teaching process will be different and she won't have the same 'history' as other kids in her grade - like knowing the playground songs, having slightly different holiday traditions etc (things as basic as that really CAN make a difference).

But we'll adapt I have no doubt - if we had a fire and our current house burned down, we'd have to move and adapt - so many things in life can force you into new situations, but with this, at least we have warning and can prepare

[MaryandMian 1]

What your feeling is normal. Happy, excited, bundle of nerves all at once. Enjoy your reunion.

Mary

[Campanita 0]

Thanks for the words of encouragement! It has been a most wonderful 2 days!

[Ladylethal 12]

I´m a bit nervous about adjusting to a new language (not english, spanish in Puerto Rico), a new culture and married life in general (I´d be nervous even if I was marrying here in Brasil). But it´s a special moment in both your lives and you´ll support each other.