K1 Visa options.... to stop process

[hellonew 0]

If you do not withdraw the K1 before her interview, your fiance will have 6 months to enter the US and once she is in the US you have another 90 days (roughly 3 months) to marry. So you have roughly 9 more months after she receives the visa to decide for sure. So if there are any doubts remaining, its best to delay her entry as close to 6 months as possible as the 90day clock starts once she enters the US. If she arrives in the US and you do not marry she has to return home within 90 days (when her I-94 expires). If she doesn't leave she will be in violation of immigration law, but she would no longer be your responsibility.

Im going through the same situation except my fiance is now my ex wife and now im withdrwaing my I864. Please dont make the same mistake i mdae, i had some "bumps" in the road too, then 10 days before my wedding she decided she didnt want me anymore. Mt ex didnt get her GC yet so she'll eventually be out of status.Get some counseling and talk to her family if u can, but do it sooner then later. good luck!

[Alias 0]

u said u only seem to get along when ur together, maybe when ur apart the distance is over whelming?

i dont know about anyone else on this forum but distance and the lengthy process that perviz and i are forced to deal with has lead to some pretty good fights, and its always about nothing

just stress getting in the way making us on edge maybe that is the issue with the two of u?

sara

I have to agree with sara. We're on the same boat, we dated for four months here in the philippines wayback July 2007, then he went back home

even though we keep in touch thru email and yahoo messenger, it still seem not enough and we both sometimes get frustrated with the situation.

You or she could get irritable over petty things because of not being able to do anything about ur present situation.you were so used to see each other almost EVERYDAY for six months then all of a sudden you cant even hold her hand.

you thought that the problem was your indifferences, but its actually the pressure of the moment.

Maybe both of you has to comprehend on your true emotions ; that its just that you badly miss each other and fell helpless right now and cannot do anything about the situation. Believe that it's gonna be alright, and that in Gods perfect timing, you will be together. It could be just the stress of the process. shes stressed and worried and so are you.

I hope you can still work it out.

maan

Our Timeline

06/02/07 - Met thru a friend here in the Philippines, started texting everyday

06/07/07 - went out clubbin with him and our friends

06/09/07 - first date together, inseperable and see each other EVERYDAY for 4 months

11/10/07 - his flight back home : (

04/16/08 - flight back in Philippines and stayed for four months again : )

08/16/08 - flight back home : (

09/14/08 - proposal over chat, i said yes : ) planed to have engagement party in his homeland

before applying for a petition

12/17/08 - changed our minds, SENT I 129F, thought its wise to start asap!

12/30/08 - I-129F Received at the VSC

04/09/09 - NOA thru email

04/20/09 - NOA letter

05/06/09 - Manila Embassy Letter, eligibility for appointment

05/07/09 - I called for appointment, chose JUNE 18 09

05/18/09 - will walk in at SLMCEC for medical

06/18/09 - Interview date

What both of you mentioned seem so familiar. Sometimes we would argue on such petty things but when we are together, those things do not matter. We both know that a lot of times it is because of the frustration of not being together, not being able to control the situation, not being able to see each other, etc. This process is torturous and it affects both of us.

[Peace be still 6]

You stated that you been through 2 divorces with American Women. Perhaps you are projecting what happen in your past relationships onto this one? The Immigration process is straining on any relationship, and I don't think that most people can say that there hasn't been a battle or two with their love ones. Perhaps you need the counseling to resolve any insecurities that you may have with yourself before attempting to enter into another marriage. This is not to pass judgement on you, but it's just for you to do some self reflecting. This would be my sugestion before you think about doing Couples Therapy. Also don't drag your fiance through this process if you know that you are going to back out of it. Good luck with whatever decisions that you make, and I pray that it leads you to a path of happiness.

[getosled 0]

Wow thanks for all the responses and thanks of course for not flaming

Everyone says that maybe its the stress of being apart, and maybe it is, but thats not going to help my situation at all because im Military and I will be away more often than not. I also have talked to her family and it was kinda weird first had to get use to the whole Po thing added to everything I said, but when talking to her mom it was a different conversation than im use to. IN a sense i felt like her mom was probing me to see if I was going to take her family wiht me when she left for the states. If i remember correctly she kept saying the same story about a "friend" (you know those mysterious ones that everything good happens too) who took his fiance and entire family (brother sister mother father ect...) back to the states with them. It seemed to be all she was focused on.

Her.... well she is a great woman, and we do talk ALOT, she cheated on me once while i was in the states and I respect the fact that she told me. Maybe i just cant get over that fact, but she also has had some friendly relationships online to some younger american guys (sometimes i think she is just using me because i have some money to get to the states to see them) but she says they are just friends. I dont doubt that because I have plenty of Pinay Pinoy friends. I may just be afraid of another failure?? There has been several several times I just said to myself ... forget it.... im still young and can still find the right one... but i seem to always give in and mend things (she does too so its not just me). We seem to fight more than my ex wife and that concerns me. When we are together we are mainly ok (yes hot steamy sex and all that, but also a good time out and about). I remember one HUGE fight we had when we were together. She recieved a phone call from a number she didnt know and it was her ex that she cheated on me with... well everytime I said something she covered the phones as for him not to hear me. I just simply told her what she did wrong and why i thought it was wrong.... She disregarded my feelings and our relationship to protect his feelings and not hurt him by letting him know that she was with me. Well now that i typed a novel... sorry

I just dont ever want ANOTHER Divorce....

Thanks (salamat)

[getosled 0]

Wow thanks for all the responses and thanks of course for not flaming

Everyone says that maybe its the stress of being apart, and maybe it is, but thats not going to help my situation at all because im Military and I will be away more often than not. I also have talked to her family and it was kinda weird first had to get use to the whole Po thing added to everything I said, but when talking to her mom it was a different conversation than im use to. IN a sense i felt like her mom was probing me to see if I was going to take her family wiht me when she left for the states. If i remember correctly she kept saying the same story about a "friend" (you know those mysterious ones that everything good happens too) who took his fiance and entire family (brother sister mother father ect...) back to the states with them. It seemed to be all she was focused on.

Her.... well she is a great woman, and we do talk ALOT, she cheated on me once while i was in the states and I respect the fact that she told me. Maybe i just cant get over that fact, but she also has had some friendly relationships online to some younger american guys (sometimes i think she is just using me because i have some money to get to the states to see them) but she says they are just friends. I dont doubt that because I have plenty of Pinay Pinoy friends. I may just be afraid of another failure?? There has been several several times I just said to myself ... forget it.... im still young and can still find the right one... but i seem to always give in and mend things (she does too so its not just me). We seem to fight more than my ex wife and that concerns me. When we are together we are mainly ok (yes hot steamy sex and all that, but also a good time out and about). I remember one HUGE fight we had when we were together. She recieved a phone call from a number she didnt know and it was her ex that she cheated on me with... well everytime I said something she covered the phones as for him not to hear me. I just simply told her what she did wrong and why i thought it was wrong.... She disregarded my feelings and our relationship to protect his feelings and not hurt him by letting him know that she was with me. Well now that i typed a novel... sorry

I just dont ever want ANOTHER Divorce....

Thanks (salamat)

In case anyone was curious I just sent in the I129-F the only thing I have is my reciept number they issued to me on April 2nd..

[M_n_M 1]

From what you're saying, I'd be really worried too. Do what your gut tells you...and if you're going to be away a lot, realize that it doesn't seem she does well when you're far from each other (cheating, arguing, etc). A huge part of any relationship is to be supportive and honest with one another...not to sneak around or be selfish. Friendly relationships with younger american guys? Why just american? That raised a flag for me. And the conversation with her mother seems odd as well. I totally understand your fear of another divorce. Take this step by step, try counseling and make sure you communicate to her what really bothers you and what needs to stop in order for you guys to stay together (and have her express the same to you.) Don't blame each other, rather try and talk about everything in terms of yourself... I need... I want.... (instead of I don't like it when you, or You always...). I hope this helps and keep us updated on how things turn out. I wish you the very best!

[SCFsnoopy 0]

If you do not withdraw the K1 before her interview, your fiance will have 6 months to enter the US and once she is in the US you have another 90 days (roughly 3 months) to marry. So you have roughly 9 more months after she receives the visa to decide for sure. So if there are any doubts remaining, its best to delay her entry as close to 6 months as possible as the 90day clock starts once she enters the US. If she arrives in the US and you do not marry she has to return home within 90 days (when her I-94 expires). If she doesn't leave she will be in violation of immigration law, but she would no longer be your responsibility.

This seems like sound advice if you think the relationship is still viable and will still work in the end.

Reading through these forums has made me feel so lucky about my situation with Jesse... when we met, he was living in NY and I was in CT, so we only got to see each other on weekends when I would catch the train down - that situation lasted for 8 months before I had to go back home. I guess it sort of prepared us for the long distance thing that we knew was coming... our daily conversations were important because we couldn't actually see each other so we very quickly became very good at communicating. But even now I've noticed that since we've started the paperwork for the visa things have become a little more stressed between us... it's mostly me freaking out that things are done right and that we have enough money and all that, I'm setting him on edge... there is no doubt that this is a stressful process for every couple that has to go through it and it is a test of the strength of the relationship.

In your situation, I would give it some time, and more importantly keep the lines of communication open. It does sound like she can acknowledge when she might have upset you during an argument and that's important. As to her mother getting in your ear about moving the family over... you and your fiance are adults, your own persons, and this is your marriage not theirs! Only consider it if it is genuinely something that you and your fiance want to do for them.

[maset09 0]

Wow thanks for all the responses and thanks of course for not flaming

Everyone says that maybe its the stress of being apart, and maybe it is, but thats not going to help my situation at all because im Military and I will be away more often than not. I also have talked to her family and it was kinda weird first had to get use to the whole Po thing added to everything I said, but when talking to her mom it was a different conversation than im use to. IN a sense i felt like her mom was probing me to see if I was going to take her family wiht me when she left for the states.

If i remember correctly she kept saying the same story about a "friend" (you know those mysterious ones that everything good happens too) who took his fiance and entire family (brother sister mother father ect...) back to the states with them. It seemed to be all she was focused on.

she should be focused in starting your OWN family, not bringing her entire family in the US.

Her.... well she is a great woman, and we do talk ALOT, she cheated on me once while i was in the states and I respect the fact that she told me.

I respect both of you for this.

Maybe i just cant get over that fact, but she also has had some friendly relationships online to some younger american guys (sometimes i think she is just using me because i have some money to get to the states to see them) but she says they are just friends.

sorry, this one raised a flag on me too. have you told her that it makes you uncomfortable that she still chat with other americans? you should. and if she respects you, she will stop it even if she's just being friendly. coz i did when he jokingly said something about it. I didnt think twice. I even stopped adding MYSPACE friend requests (and deleted all) from americans . I used to reply to hi' and hello's to MYSPACE american friends, just one reply, nothing beyond that, even before i met him. I did it coz i dont want him to worry. I care for him, and I will do everything for him.

i would understand a little if these americans were your friends too, coz i also pm "our" friends in facebook or text while his friends are still here in Phil's. when my fiance was back in North Carolina (too, yes ) but only to arrange weekend nite out with all our filipino friends as well. nothing more than that too.

I dont doubt that because I have plenty of Pinay Pinoy friends. I may just be afraid of another failure?? There has been several several times I just said to myself ... forget it.... im still young and can still find the right one... but i seem to always give in and mend things (she does too so its not just me). We seem to fight more than my ex wife and that concerns me. When we are together we are mainly ok (yes hot steamy sex and all that, but also a good time out and about). I remember one HUGE fight we had when we were together.

She recieved a phone call from a number she didnt know and it was her ex that she cheated on me with... well everytime I said something she covered the phones as for him not to hear me. I just simply told her what she did wrong and why i thought it was wrong.... She disregarded my feelings and our relationship to protect his feelings and not hurt him by letting him know that she was with me. Well now that i typed a novel... sorry

this is soo wrong! she doesnt respect you. im sorry for being harsh. you have to be number one for her, the ONLY ONE. She should have thought about your feelings rather first than her ex. RESPECT, TRUST and LOVE, omit one, then it might not work out.

I just dont ever want ANOTHER Divorce....

you really need to speak up. tell her how you really feel about everything. coz if not, it will just keep on piling up. even if she gets mad. it doesnt seemed right that you have to be on your own toes when you want to discuss some issues in your relationship. both of you should welcome any opinions, observations from each other, good or bad.

Thanks (salamat)

Edited May 14, 2009 by maset09

[L_0_V_E 0]

HI getosled..being apart is really stressful.. especially for u (since ur in the military)... when u get deployed communication lines are not always available... Your partner should be the One who gives u Strength to endure the deployment instead of making u worry about UNFAITHULNESS.. so try to think of what u really want and talk to her.. i wish u luck n take care

[sara..... 371]

Wow thanks for all the responses and thanks of course for not flaming

Everyone says that maybe its the stress of being apart, and maybe it is, but thats not going to help my situation at all because im Military and I will be away more often than not. I also have talked to her family and it was kinda weird first had to get use to the whole Po thing added to everything I said, but when talking to her mom it was a different conversation than im use to. IN a sense i felt like her mom was probing me to see if I was going to take her family wiht me when she left for the states.

If i remember correctly she kept saying the same story about a "friend" (you know those mysterious ones that everything good happens too) who took his fiance and entire family (brother sister mother father ect...) back to the states with them. It seemed to be all she was focused on.

she should be focused in starting your OWN family, not bringing her entire family in the US.

Her.... well she is a great woman, and we do talk ALOT, she cheated on me once while i was in the states and I respect the fact that she told me.

I respect both of you for this.

Maybe i just cant get over that fact, but she also has had some friendly relationships online to some younger american guys (sometimes i think she is just using me because i have some money to get to the states to see them) but she says they are just friends.

sorry, this one raised a flag on me too. have you told her that it makes you uncomfortable that she still chat with other americans? you should. and if she respects you, she will stop it even if she's just being friendly. coz i did when he jokingly said something about it. I didnt think twice. I even stopped adding MYSPACE friend requests (and deleted all) from americans . I used to reply to hi' and hello's to MYSPACE american friends, just one reply, nothing beyond that, even before i met him. I did it coz i dont want him to worry. I care for him, and I will do everything for him.

i would understand a little if these americans were your friends too, coz i also pm "our" friends in facebook or text while his friends are still here in Phil's. when my fiance was back in North Carolina (too, yes ) but only to arrange weekend nite out with all our filipino friends as well. nothing more than that too.

I dont doubt that because I have plenty of Pinay Pinoy friends. I may just be afraid of another failure?? There has been several several times I just said to myself ... forget it.... im still young and can still find the right one... but i seem to always give in and mend things (she does too so its not just me). We seem to fight more than my ex wife and that concerns me. When we are together we are mainly ok (yes hot steamy sex and all that, but also a good time out and about). I remember one HUGE fight we had when we were together.

She recieved a phone call from a number she didnt know and it was her ex that she cheated on me with... well everytime I said something she covered the phones as for him not to hear me. I just simply told her what she did wrong and why i thought it was wrong.... She disregarded my feelings and our relationship to protect his feelings and not hurt him by letting him know that she was with me. Well now that i typed a novel... sorry

this is soo wrong! she doesnt respect you. im sorry for being harsh. you have to be number one for her, the ONLY ONE. She should have thought about your feelings rather first than her ex. RESPECT, TRUST and LOVE, omit one, then it might not work out.

I just dont ever want ANOTHER Divorce....

you really need to speak up. tell her how you really feel about everything. coz if not, it will just keep on piling up. even if she gets mad. it doesnt seemed right that you have to be on your own toes when you want to discuss some issues in your relationship. both of you should welcome any opinions, observations from each other, good or bad.

Thanks (salamat)

i agree with a lot of the answers u gave, i dont know about anyone else but when perviz and i decided to get married i told him flat out u want to be on line talking to other girls find someone else same with me i will not be on line talking to guys either, if ur going to marry u need a commitment from each other, tooo many times relationships end because of on line flirting from one or both of the people involved in the relationship, if u love each other and are committed there should not be either one of u out there messing around and getting involved with someone else.

sara

[Brit Abroad 166]

Several questions you need to ask, both of yourself and your fiancee.

1. Do you actually love each other or are you simply having fun together socially? You mention that you have a good time when you're out and about. What about when you are in non-sexual quiet time together or doing regular things like shopping, walking, just hanging out watching tv, computers, reading, dogwalking .. whatever your interests are ?

2. What do both of you expect from marriage and how much commitment do you have to putting it right when things are tough?

3. What level of emotional/financial/immigration support do you propose giving to her family? What level of support does she envisage? If your expectations are hugely different, this can cause BIG problems.

4. What's the difference between an argument/fight between you when you are apart and when you are together? ie, what tools help you solve diffences and problems. If being together allows you to both forget the problems rather than actually dealing with them, then you are merely delaying the issues rather than resolving them and this itself will force eruptions as they don't go away, they magnify.

Honestly, I see potential problems here because neither of you are looking at yourselves as a couple. You have the obvious cultural differences - and, honestly (I can speak from experience here, having married into the military and knowing that you are used to being shunted around the world at the drop of a hat) it's a daunting experience to leave everything you know and everyone you love behind and start afresh in a new country. Trust me, if it was simple, you wouldn't see the threads on "I miss this" and "Homesick" all over immigration boards. Are you doing enough to reassure her that she won't just be abandoned if you're deployed, that you will help her find friends and home-comforts when she gets to America and be patient with her if she's unhappy while she adapts to a new environment?

It's a big, big step and although we foreign fiance/e's and spouses are excited to join you, we are leaving behind a massive part of ourselves and taking a leap into the unknown. It's not unknown for people to freak out when they think about what they're doing. Be kind, be patient with her, but most of all you have to learn to communicate or you're staring at a failed relationship in the making. If you can't talk now, how muc more difficult is it going to be when she doesn't have a emotional support system right by her side?

Personally, I don't like the infidelity issue and I think you need to examine that one with her, not as a confession of the past, but how she will cope with prolonged periods of your absence and the loneliness that a military spouse can feel (non-foreigner military marriages have huge numbers of divorces before you add in all the extra problems of a foreign wife). If she's vulnerable and needs your support then you'll both need to plan how she can not fall into the trap of seeking that with someone else if you aren't there.

Like I said, as a couple you need to talk, and leaving her messages and ultimatums isn't going to encourage her to open up to you. Of course, I could be miles wide of the mark and she's a self-seeking greencard hunter, but you aren't going to know that unless you learn how to talk WITH her and discover just why you're both in this relationship.

Best of luck to you both!

[Mrs. Disney 0]

Wow thanks for all the responses and thanks of course for not flaming

Everyone says that maybe its the stress of being apart, and maybe it is, but thats not going to help my situation at all because im Military and I will be away more often than not. I also have talked to her family and it was kinda weird first had to get use to the whole Po thing added to everything I said, but when talking to her mom it was a different conversation than im use to. IN a sense i felt like her mom was probing me to see if I was going to take her family wiht me when she left for the states.

If i remember correctly she kept saying the same story about a "friend" (you know those mysterious ones that everything good happens too) who took his fiance and entire family (brother sister mother father ect...) back to the states with them. It seemed to be all she was focused on.

she should be focused in starting your OWN family, not bringing her entire family in the US.

Her.... well she is a great woman, and we do talk ALOT, she cheated on me once while i was in the states and I respect the fact that she told me.

I respect both of you for this.

Maybe i just cant get over that fact, but she also has had some friendly relationships online to some younger american guys (sometimes i think she is just using me because i have some money to get to the states to see them) but she says they are just friends.

sorry, this one raised a flag on me too. have you told her that it makes you uncomfortable that she still chat with other americans? you should. and if she respects you, she will stop it even if she's just being friendly. coz i did when he jokingly said something about it. I didnt think twice. I even stopped adding MYSPACE friend requests (and deleted all) from americans . I used to reply to hi' and hello's to MYSPACE american friends, just one reply, nothing beyond that, even before i met him. I did it coz i dont want him to worry. I care for him, and I will do everything for him.

i would understand a little if these americans were your friends too, coz i also pm "our" friends in facebook or text while his friends are still here in Phil's. when my fiance was back in North Carolina (too, yes ) but only to arrange weekend nite out with all our filipino friends as well. nothing more than that too.

I dont doubt that because I have plenty of Pinay Pinoy friends. I may just be afraid of another failure?? There has been several several times I just said to myself ... forget it.... im still young and can still find the right one... but i seem to always give in and mend things (she does too so its not just me). We seem to fight more than my ex wife and that concerns me. When we are together we are mainly ok (yes hot steamy sex and all that, but also a good time out and about). I remember one HUGE fight we had when we were together.

She recieved a phone call from a number she didnt know and it was her ex that she cheated on me with... well everytime I said something she covered the phones as for him not to hear me. I just simply told her what she did wrong and why i thought it was wrong.... She disregarded my feelings and our relationship to protect his feelings and not hurt him by letting him know that she was with me. Well now that i typed a novel... sorry

this is soo wrong! she doesnt respect you. im sorry for being harsh. you have to be number one for her, the ONLY ONE. She should have thought about your feelings rather first than her ex. RESPECT, TRUST and LOVE, omit one, then it might not work out.

I just dont ever want ANOTHER Divorce....

you really need to speak up. tell her how you really feel about everything. coz if not, it will just keep on piling up. even if she gets mad. it doesnt seemed right that you have to be on your own toes when you want to discuss some issues in your relationship. both of you should welcome any opinions, observations from each other, good or bad.

Thanks (salamat)

I agree with pretty much everything. She should respect you more. You are her fiance, she's supposed to be protecting your feelings, not her ex's, although I respect the fact that she admitted to you that she cheated on you and I admire you even more for forgiving. To me, red flags were raised when you mentioned she talking to American guys online and her family insistence about the moving to America. But of course, they can still be decent people, we can't just judge them based on that fact only. You should talk to her and express your feelings the way you did to us here on VJ. I have a friend from Brazil who's been dating an American guy for 3 years and they have a real hard time being apart. But when they are together, everything is perfect. Some people can't handle long distance relationships and I believe that's just natural. It doesn't mean they don't love each other. Hope everything works out for you. Good luck!

[Mrs. Disney 0]

Also, my fiance is in the military too and we've spent long periods of time separated because of his job. Long deployments can be a ######, especially in times of war. It takes patience, A LOT of patience, and unconditional trust to make a relationship like this work. Good luck!

[Peace be still 6]

Wow thanks for all the responses and thanks of course for not flaming

Everyone says that maybe its the stress of being apart, and maybe it is, but thats not going to help my situation at all because im Military and I will be away more often than not. I also have talked to her family and it was kinda weird first had to get use to the whole Po thing added to everything I said, but when talking to her mom it was a different conversation than im use to. IN a sense i felt like her mom was probing me to see if I was going to take her family wiht me when she left for the states. If i remember correctly she kept saying the same story about a "friend" (you know those mysterious ones that everything good happens too) who took his fiance and entire family (brother sister mother father ect...) back to the states with them. It seemed to be all she was focused on.

Her.... well she is a great woman, and we do talk ALOT, she cheated on me once while i was in the states and I respect the fact that she told me. Maybe i just cant get over that fact, but she also has had some friendly relationships online to some younger american guys (sometimes i think she is just using me because i have some money to get to the states to see them) but she says they are just friends. I dont doubt that because I have plenty of Pinay Pinoy friends. I may just be afraid of another failure?? There has been several several times I just said to myself ... forget it.... im still young and can still find the right one... but i seem to always give in and mend things (she does too so its not just me). We seem to fight more than my ex wife and that concerns me. When we are together we are mainly ok (yes hot steamy sex and all that, but also a good time out and about). I remember one HUGE fight we had when we were together. She recieved a phone call from a number she didnt know and it was her ex that she cheated on me with... well everytime I said something she covered the phones as for him not to hear me. I just simply told her what she did wrong and why i thought it was wrong.... She disregarded my feelings and our relationship to protect his feelings and not hurt him by letting him know that she was with me. Well now that i typed a novel... sorry

I just dont ever want ANOTHER Divorce....

Thanks (salamat)

In case anyone was curious I just sent in the I129-F the only thing I have is my reciept number they issued to me on April 2nd..

If she can't be faithful to you while you was in the states what makes you think she will be faithful to you when you are station in Iraq or ALLAH forbid Afgan? Military life is different from civilian life, and you know better then me that there is no respect when it comes to souldiers sleeping with each others wives when the spouse is on tour somewhere.... Yes she told you about that 1x but how many other times was there or will there be? It's your choice to make and no one is here to judge you. But the hand writting is clearly on the wall!!!!!

[getosled 0]

First id like to say thanks for the comments and replies.... let me see if I can answer everyones questions :

First about the american guys and the whole friendster myspace #######.

She still adds guys on her friendster, she says there just friends and everyone on there is her friend from either highschool or college or where ever. That is just fishy because she has almost 600 of them. One American guy that she talked to a while ago and i told her she needed to get rid of him, well she deleted him but didnt delete him from facebook ?!. What ever ... all that social networking sites are all drama anyway. I deleted every social networking account I had. Friendster Myspace facebook, ect... It caused too many arguments so i got rid of it, she cant and wont. She also recieves Mail from one or two of the american guys... not sure what its about. Ok enough about that subject .. what else....

Her family, she has told me several times that she want to go alone to the US and live with just me, not even have kids anytime soon since i have a couple from my previous marrage. She also doesnt want me to help them, but i see her giving her mom money all the time. So that raises a red flag with me too.

When we are together we are 90% of the time fine and having fun were ever we go. I just dislike the looks i get when im with her ( I feel like people think she is just another club girl with an american ). Not directed toward me but toward her. I have several times said stuff to people, like when im with her I get addressed .. good morning sir... she gets nothing and I just simply say so you can say good morning to me but not her because she isnt american or something. The whole perception thing is killing me here. She gets harrassed when she leaves the hotel to go to work, and I had to yell at the management.

Im in Manila and I am honestly BORED, everything is the same day in and day out.

I dont know what to expect from this marrage, simply because my last two fell apart. 1st one we couldnt live together and fought all the time so we just seperated to get some space and she found someone else so we divorced... even though we are great friends now... 2nd marrage ended because my first ex wanted me to take my kids and have them live with me for a while, so I told my wife and she sent me seperation papers.. So that was a good signe i needed out of that relationship.

so this marrage... i dont know what to expect... Maybe I shouldnt expect anything.

what i want..... Honest, faithful, support (with work even if I stay in the military as well as all types of support), has to love kids because they will come first and it would be fine if she wanted kids, I cook so she doesnt really need to, i guess it would boil down to I want a best friend to say by my side through thick and thin...

Do we love each other.... I have told her several times I love her or I love you... but when she asks me why i love her I dont have an answer. on the same note she doesnt have an answer for me either.

Differences in fighting/arguing when we are apart or together is simple... I just wouldnt talk to her for days when we are apart. Then call her up and explain things to her. together she would take off and calm down then we would sit down and explain things.

Ok novel is done did i miss anything?

thanks