MARRIAGE FRAUD~DIVORCE 2 MONTHS AFTER AOS FILING

[hellonew 0]

Thanks for everyone's upport, u guys are the best ill keep everyone posted on any updates!

[tulum 0]

That's pretty rough. The LAST possible moment?!?!?!?! REALLY suxs

Yea 10 days before our wedding, it was all setup all along. 10 days before the wedding she tells my and family and i that we dont understand each other, So i tell her lets push the wedding date back to give us more time, as soon as i said that she said she wants a divorce. I was in shock. I still am. U think u know someone then bam! its over.

Thanks for ur support everyone! please feel to add any comments advice

She wanted a divorce 10 days b4 you guys were married?

JUST CURIOUS- what country was she from? i've heard horror stories about women from various countries really raking a guy over the coals. i recall one true story about a woman from south america even killing her husband and having a lover on the side

[Mrs.J06 4]

That's pretty rough. The LAST possible moment?!?!?!?! REALLY suxs

Yea 10 days before our wedding, it was all setup all along. 10 days before the wedding she tells my and family and i that we dont understand each other, So i tell her lets push the wedding date back to give us more time, as soon as i said that she said she wants a divorce. I was in shock. I still am. U think u know someone then bam! its over.

Thanks for ur support everyone! please feel to add any comments advice

Hate to say it, but I alluded to it in your other post, this is one of the typical ploys that nefarious people use to obtain green cards.

Get married (to satisfy the requirements of the K-1)

Don't consummate the marriage for some x reason.

Get AOS, get green card, file for divorce.

The only thing in this case, it appears she pulled the rug out too soon.

My buddy who works for USCIS says some of the people coming over here don't even wait to get to get past the first day of arrival in the US, they immediately call the cops and claim "abuse" from the USC, and attempt to file for the VAWA.

Of course I am not implying the immigrant in this case was planning this.

Wow, just... wow.

How do these people even know about VAWA? They must get coached in their homecountries already!

Or maybe I'm just naive

Very sad... good luck Hellonew!

[rlogan 2,036]

I think ur counfusing alot of us, lol, its clearly stated she asked for divorce because we "dont understand each other", which means, "i dont want u anymore thanks for bringing me to this great nation goodbye"!

Not confused. Understood completely. You still do not understand you contradicted yourself numerous times.

she wanted to wait until THE NIGHT OF OUR WEDDING RECEPTION! and i agreed to that! I hope i cleared it up for u, i dont need to record her, i dont want to see or speak to her so i wont be accused of abuse of any sort.

I know. I know.

You are upset. Understandable. Please read right here below in your own words what you have said at least FOUR TIMES:

Yea 10 days before our wedding, it was all setup all along. 10 days before the wedding she tells my and family and i that we dont understand each other, So i tell her lets push the wedding date back to give us more time, as soon as i said that she said she wants a divorce.

...That's why she waited 10 days before our wedding date.

Now you clearly meant to say WEDDING RECEPTION in these quotes above. I was trying to point out where YOU have REPEATEDLY said "wedding" when you meant "wedding reception". And you confused people by doing that.

It is clear to me you have been saying "wedding" when you mean "wedding reception" because in your mind, like everyone else, the term "wedding" means sex and living together.

People have wedding receptions immediately after the wedding ceremony itself so it is bizarre to schedule a "reception" five months or whatever after the wedding.

Please answer the question about what country she is from. Thanks.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

That's pretty rough. The LAST possible moment?!?!?!?! REALLY suxs

Yea 10 days before our wedding, it was all setup all along. 10 days before the wedding she tells my and family and i that we dont understand each other, So i tell her lets push the wedding date back to give us more time, as soon as i said that she said she wants a divorce. I was in shock. I still am. U think u know someone then bam! its over.

Thanks for ur support everyone! please feel to add any comments advice

Hate to say it, but I alluded to it in your other post, this is one of the typical ploys that nefarious people use to obtain green cards.

Get married (to satisfy the requirements of the K-1)

Don't consummate the marriage for some x reason.

Get AOS, get green card, file for divorce.

The only thing in this case, it appears she pulled the rug out too soon.

My buddy who works for USCIS says some of the people coming over here don't even wait to get to get past the first day of arrival in the US, they immediately call the cops and claim "abuse" from the USC, and attempt to file for the VAWA.

Of course I am not implying the immigrant in this case was planning this.

Wow, just... wow.

How do these people even know about VAWA? They must get coached in their homecountries already!

Or maybe I'm just naive

Very sad... good luck Hellonew!

Do a google search on VAWA fraud - it will open your eyes.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

I think ur counfusing alot of us, lol, its clearly stated she asked for divorce because we "dont understand each other", which means, "i dont want u anymore thanks for bringing me to this great nation goodbye"!

Not confused. Understood completely. You still do not understand you contradicted yourself numerous times.

she wanted to wait until THE NIGHT OF OUR WEDDING RECEPTION! and i agreed to that! I hope i cleared it up for u, i dont need to record her, i dont want to see or speak to her so i wont be accused of abuse of any sort.

I know. I know.

You are upset. Understandable. Please read right here below in your own words what you have said at least FOUR TIMES:

Yea 10 days before our wedding, it was all setup all along. 10 days before the wedding she tells my and family and i that we dont understand each other, So i tell her lets push the wedding date back to give us more time, as soon as i said that she said she wants a divorce.

...That's why she waited 10 days before our wedding date.

Now you clearly meant to say WEDDING RECEPTION in these quotes above. I was trying to point out where YOU have REPEATEDLY said "wedding" when you meant "wedding reception". And you confused people by doing that.

It is clear to me you have been saying "wedding" when you mean "wedding reception" because in your mind, like everyone else, the term "wedding" means sex and living together.

People have wedding receptions immediately after the wedding ceremony itself so it is bizarre to schedule a "reception" five months or whatever after the wedding.

Please answer the question about what country she is from. Thanks.

I wouldn't say it's bizzare to do that, it's called planning - Umit and I plan on just doing the "paperwork" marriage when she gets here, and have the wedding reception later down the road, so we can properly plan it out. (90 days is not enough time)

[rlogan 2,036]

I wouldn't say it's bizzare to do that, it's called planning - Umit and I plan on just doing the "paperwork" marriage when she gets here, and have the wedding reception later down the road, so we can properly plan it out. (90 days is not enough time)

But you are planning on living together and having sex, right?

There isn't much point at all to being married without actually having the primary benefits of being married - and among these are living together, and of course having sex. Apparently you disagree with this being a point of marriage?

Definitely a great reason for doing it the way she did is marriage fraud. It explains perfectly why someone would get married legally and not want to live together and have sex.

He clearly stated they applied for a K-1 in June of last year. So I am sorry, but it is bizarre in my book to plan on being legally married in December but then not have any of the primary benefits of marriage (living together, sex), and instead not even BEGIN planning for the "real" wedding (wedding reception) for nearly another half-year later.

The planning should have started in June if they were getting married in December. Not get married in December and then start planning the marriage where they actually live together.

That smacks of something not being right - and yes, she was planning fraud.

So should we be counseling others who have similar stories being told to them that "hey, no problem - marry them legally and don't live with them or have sex. Do it for these reasons:"

We had the civil marriage to get our life started. I.E. taxes, my schooling, and she was going to go to school too. Hopefully i answered ur question.

Well I just disagree with those as reasons to have a legally binding marriage. To save a little money on taxes? I don't know how his schooling is benefited by being married, but I just do not see that as a reason to get legally married and not live with them. In fact, marriage strictly for obtaining financial benefits from the government, but not actually being married (In my state consummation is a legal requirement) constitutes fraud.

So you are encouraging fraud. Even if in "good faith" someone plans to consummate a fully legal marriage at some point in the future, you cannot file a marriage just to get money from the government. Not in a lot of states, anyway.

I disagree with that - to marry for monetary benefits, for immigration benefits, or any other benefit apart from the actual marriage part. I encourage legal marriage for exactly that purpose alone - to live together as married couples do.

That is what you are doing.

I had a ceremony on Mindanao without signing the paperwork because we applied K-1. So it was not a legally binding marriage. But the ceremony was for family and friends, and fulfilled what hello new is saying would be the cultural imperitive for living together.

That is why we did it. To show respect to her culture. We had a wedding (what he is calling reception) FIRST. We got no tax benefits, or any other financial perks from the government. But we could live together there on Mindanao without any hint of impropriety because we did a ceremony there.

We violated no laws because both were above the age of consent, and because we were indeed fiance's as a matter of law when applying for K-1 visa.

Moreover, I think Hellonew has been unclear for a pretty straightforward reason. Because it isn't a straight story. He slipped numerous times and called the "reception" the "wedding".

And the reason for this is not because it was common to have receptions five months after a wedding. Instead it is because "wedding" means a ceremony where you exchange vows in front of people important to you. A reception is a party you have afterwards. On the same day.

So he should never have used the term "reception" in the first place. Because, as he said, it really IS a wedding ceremony that was planned May 5 and not just a reception. A wedding ceremony like I had on Mindanao for my wife's family. They were going to say vows in front of people.

And if we can get this guy to give us the country she is from, we are not going to see it is a cultural habit to have a "reception" five months after a wedding ceremony. We are going to find out instead that the night of a wedding ceremony in front of friends and family that they live together as husband and wife. We are going to find it is not the "reception" at all.

And there will be more baffling things he should be looking for that occurred with this woman. This will not be the only one. We need to steer people into looking for these warning signs instead of saying - Oh yea, no problem. Your situation is not like his at all.

When stories get confusing and words do not mean what words normally mean, you should start questioning what is going on, not buying into whatever story you are being told.

But feel free to disagree. I politely and cheerfully respond, that's all.

Take care.

[hellonew 0]

I wouldn't say it's bizzare to do that, it's called planning - Umit and I plan on just doing the "paperwork" marriage when she gets here, and have the wedding reception later down the road, so we can properly plan it out. (90 days is not enough time)

But you are planning on living together and having sex, right?

There isn't much point at all to being married without actually having the primary benefits of being married - and among these are living together, and of course having sex. Apparently you disagree with this being a point of marriage?

Definitely a great reason for doing it the way she did is marriage fraud. It explains perfectly why someone would get married legally and not want to live together and have sex.

He clearly stated they applied for a K-1 in June of last year. So I am sorry, but it is bizarre in my book to plan on being legally married in December but then not have any of the primary benefits of marriage (living together, sex), and instead not even BEGIN planning for the "real" wedding (wedding reception) for nearly another half-year later.

The planning should have started in June if they were getting married in December. Not get married in December and then start planning the marriage where they actually live together.

That smacks of something not being right - and yes, she was planning fraud.

So should we be counseling others who have similar stories being told to them that "hey, no problem - marry them legally and don't live with them or have sex. Do it for these reasons:"

We had the civil marriage to get our life started. I.E. taxes, my schooling, and she was going to go to school too. Hopefully i answered ur question.

Well I just disagree with those as reasons to have a legally binding marriage. To save a little money on taxes? I don't know how his schooling is benefited by being married, but I just do not see that as a reason to get legally married and not live with them. In fact, marriage strictly for obtaining financial benefits from the government, but not actually being married (In my state consummation is a legal requirement) constitutes fraud.

So you are encouraging fraud. Even if in "good faith" someone plans to consummate a fully legal marriage at some point in the future, you cannot file a marriage just to get money from the government. Not in a lot of states, anyway.

I disagree with that - to marry for monetary benefits, for immigration benefits, or any other benefit apart from the actual marriage part. I encourage legal marriage for exactly that purpose alone - to live together as married couples do.

That is what you are doing.

I had a ceremony on Mindanao without signing the paperwork because we applied K-1. So it was not a legally binding marriage. But the ceremony was for family and friends, and fulfilled what hello new is saying would be the cultural imperitive for living together.

That is why we did it. To show respect to her culture. We had a wedding (what he is calling reception) FIRST. We got no tax benefits, or any other financial perks from the government. But we could live together there on Mindanao without any hint of impropriety because we did a ceremony there.

We violated no laws because both were above the age of consent, and because we were indeed fiance's as a matter of law when applying for K-1 visa.

Moreover, I think Hellonew has been unclear for a pretty straightforward reason. Because it isn't a straight story. He slipped numerous times and called the "reception" the "wedding".

And the reason for this is not because it was common to have receptions five months after a wedding. Instead it is because "wedding" means a ceremony where you exchange vows in front of people important to you. A reception is a party you have afterwards. On the same day.

So he should never have used the term "reception" in the first place. Because, as he said, it really IS a wedding ceremony that was planned May 5 and not just a reception. A wedding ceremony like I had on Mindanao for my wife's family. They were going to say vows in front of people.

And if we can get this guy to give us the country she is from, we are not going to see it is a cultural habit to have a "reception" five months after a wedding ceremony. We are going to find out instead that the night of a wedding ceremony in front of friends and family that they live together as husband and wife. We are going to find it is not the "reception" at all.

And there will be more baffling things he should be looking for that occurred with this woman. This will not be the only one. We need to steer people into looking for these warning signs instead of saying - Oh yea, no problem. Your situation is not like his at all.

When stories get confusing and words do not mean what words normally mean, you should start questioning what is going on, not buying into whatever story you are being told.

But feel free to disagree. I politely and cheerfully respond, that's all.

Take care.

U truly have misqouted me, and have picked certain items to highlight. In her culture, couples do not have sex UNTIL THEIR WEEDING NIGHT, WHICH IS AFTER THE WEDDING RECEPTION!!!! In her culture, the bride is from Jordan, the wedding reception is just for food and dancing, we took our vows and religous requirements during the civil marriage!

U stated YOU did certain things to "respect ur wife's culture", and so did I.

I dont know why ur becoming so defensive, ur the only one who is confused!

Edited May 14, 2009 by hellonew

[rlogan 2,036]

U truly have misqouted me, and have picked certain items to highlight. In her culture, couples do not have sex UNTIL THEIR WEEDING NIGHT, WHICH IS AFTER THE WEDDING RECEPTION!!!! In her culture, the bride is from Jordan, the wedding reception is just for food and dancing, we took our vows and religous requirements during the civil marriage!

U stated YOU did certain things to "respect ur wife's culture", and so did I.

I dont know why ur becoming so defensive, ur the only one who is confused!

Thank you for giving us the country. I read up a bit on Jordanian weddings.

Interesting with the tradition of giving gold at the wedding, and I understand the purpose of that. If I may outline what I found, because you know it, but others here are not familiar. I found a source that talked about four separate phases of the marriage process:

1) Marriage contract. This will be the result of negotiations between the families. Typical contract is : what the bridegroom will contribute, what the bride will contribute and what happens in the case of a divorce. It might be a formality and it might be three months of heated negotiations.

Although tradition like everywhere is evolving, the husband is generally assumed to provide the house. There could be a bride price and/or dowry. Gold is a tradition, but I imagine in this age there are a lot of options besides just that.

2) Wedding. I think I want to quote something in full here because it is "old school"....

It should be remembered that no marriage exists officially until it has been consummated. In theory anyway, right up to that point, the participants can change their minds. The traditional Arab consummation of a marriage is seldom practised today, the "Western practice" has taken over.

But it is very likely that in some circles the "old way" is still used. In the middle of the celebrations the bride and groom retire to a private room, sometimes taking along witnesses (usually the two mothers). There, the bridegroom breaks the hymen of the bride with a finger wrapped in a handkerchief. If for whatever reason he fails to do this, or doesn't like to do it, then it is usual for the bride's mother to do it for him. The handkerchief is then taken outside and the bloodstains on it displayed to the guests, to the accompaniment of renewed cheers. Usually the now married couple will come along to receive congratulations!

Sexual relations between the couple will take place later as and when they please, this is nobody's business but their own.

As I said, nowadays this practice is seldom followed, the marriage is considered consummated at the couple's convenience and no proof is required!

3) Marriage - ( I won't detail this but it is more information on the Arab tradition in general but specifically Jordanian tradition)

4) Divorce (ditto)

5) Widows (ditto)

Information here: http://www.jordanjubilee.com/meetfolk/marriage.htm

Having read that site now and a couple others I can see where the official civil marriage in the USA would have no bearing on whether you were married, if you were following the strict code above. I'm guessing you don't actually follow every letter of the above though.

I see that you have referred to the "Marriage" at the courthouse. In your mind that is not a wedding. In my state it is legally a wedding, and requires attendance by witnesses who sign the license. Here, as a matter of law - it is a wedding. I'm sure we are not the only State where that is true, so be understanding as to why people will be confused.

I apologize for not understanding that in your lexicon, Marriage Ceremony is not "wedding". Sorry for that - what we have here is a difference in vocabulary and the difference between legal terms and conventions in different countries. Here, even states vary in laws.

But if it is the case you don't get to live together until the "cultural ceremony" is performed, I see no reason to get legally married until the bride is prepared to do that ceremony.

I see for you it was to obtain financial benefits from the government, specifically to lower your taxes. Your wife's reason was to defeat the immigration requirements.

I don't see it as advisable to marry someone legally and not actually live as husband and wife for five months. But, just my opinion.

Sorry - I know this is a hard time for you and my sympathies are extended to you.

I regret that I could not offer you a better exchange before. Sincerely, rlogan.

[hellonew 0]

U truly have misqouted me, and have picked certain items to highlight. In her culture, couples do not have sex UNTIL THEIR WEEDING NIGHT, WHICH IS AFTER THE WEDDING RECEPTION!!!! In her culture, the bride is from Jordan, the wedding reception is just for food and dancing, we took our vows and religous requirements during the civil marriage!

U stated YOU did certain things to "respect ur wife's culture", and so did I.

I dont know why ur becoming so defensive, ur the only one who is confused!

Thank you for giving us the country. I read up a bit on Jordanian weddings.

Interesting with the tradition of giving gold at the wedding, and I understand the purpose of that. If I may outline what I found, because you know it, but others here are not familiar. I found a source that talked about four separate phases of the marriage process:

1) Marriage contract. This will be the result of negotiations between the families. Typical contract is : what the bridegroom will contribute, what the bride will contribute and what happens in the case of a divorce. It might be a formality and it might be three months of heated negotiations.

Although tradition like everywhere is evolving, the husband is generally assumed to provide the house. There could be a bride price and/or dowry. Gold is a tradition, but I imagine in this age there are a lot of options besides just that.

2) Wedding. I think I want to quote something in full here because it is "old school"....

It should be remembered that no marriage exists officially until it has been consummated. In theory anyway, right up to that point, the participants can change their minds. The traditional Arab consummation of a marriage is seldom practised today, the "Western practice" has taken over.

But it is very likely that in some circles the "old way" is still used. In the middle of the celebrations the bride and groom retire to a private room, sometimes taking along witnesses (usually the two mothers). There, the bridegroom breaks the hymen of the bride with a finger wrapped in a handkerchief. If for whatever reason he fails to do this, or doesn't like to do it, then it is usual for the bride's mother to do it for him. The handkerchief is then taken outside and the bloodstains on it displayed to the guests, to the accompaniment of renewed cheers. Usually the now married couple will come along to receive congratulations!

Sexual relations between the couple will take place later as and when they please, this is nobody's business but their own.

As I said, nowadays this practice is seldom followed, the marriage is considered consummated at the couple's convenience and no proof is required!

3) Marriage - ( I won't detail this but it is more information on the Arab tradition in general but specifically Jordanian tradition)

4) Divorce (ditto)

5) Widows (ditto)

Information here: http://www.jordanjubilee.com/meetfolk/marriage.htm

Having read that site now and a couple others I can see where the official civil marriage in the USA would have no bearing on whether you were married, if you were following the strict code above. I'm guessing you don't actually follow every letter of the above though.

I see that you have referred to the "Marriage" at the courthouse. In your mind that is not a wedding. In my state it is legally a wedding, and requires attendance by witnesses who sign the license. Here, as a matter of law - it is a wedding. I'm sure we are not the only State where that is true, so be understanding as to why people will be confused.

I apologize for not understanding that in your lexicon, Marriage Ceremony is not "wedding". Sorry for that - what we have here is a difference in vocabulary and the difference between legal terms and conventions in different countries. Here, even states vary in laws.

But if it is the case you don't get to live together until the "cultural ceremony" is performed, I see no reason to get legally married until the bride is prepared to do that ceremony.

I see for you it was to obtain financial benefits from the government, specifically to lower your taxes. Your wife's reason was to defeat the immigration requirements.

I don't see it as advisable to marry someone legally and not actually live as husband and wife for five months. But, just my opinion.

Sorry - I know this is a hard time for you and my sympathies are extended to you.

I regret that I could not offer you a better exchange before. Sincerely, rlogan.

Trust me, everything u have said i agree with!!! I admit that some aspects of our marriage rituals (Jordanian/Arabic) are outdated, but hey not much i can do! Some are good, some are bad!! All cultures have there ups and downs.

Thanks for ur input and u have contributed much to this discussion! I appreciate the time u took to read and reply.

I hope this thread will be helpful to others!

[hellonew 0]

This pretty much answers my quagmire!

Q: My US citizen spouse and I divorced before the I-485 adjustment of status application was approved. Am I still eligible for adjustment of status based on my prior marriage to the US citizen?

A: As a general rule, the regulations require that the marriage be viable. If the marriage terminates by divorce or annulment before the adjustment of status is granted, the beneficiary will not be eligible for permanent resident status through this relationship. It is strongly advised that an alien consult an immigration specialist if faced with this dilemma. If the beneficiary began the process as a K visa holder, then adjustment will not be possible other than through the initial US citizen petitioner. An exception exists if an alien was subject to abuse and qualified under the VAWA provisions.

[Ihavequestions 419]

I don't see it as advisable to marry someone legally and not actually live as husband and wife for five months. But, just my opinion.

It's a different culture. In this region (ME/NA) it is NOT unusual at all to do the paperwork and wait months for the wedding party ("reception"). Some even sign the marriage contract and consider it an engagement because without a wedding party there is no marriage.

This is the problem as I see it. This guy is, technically, married. He will have to divorce. However, in his wife's mind, since there was no wedding party she never really married him.

How sad.

I'm so sorry, OP.

[hellonew 0]

I don't see it as advisable to marry someone legally and not actually live as husband and wife for five months. But, just my opinion.

It's a different culture. In this region (ME/NA) it is NOT unusual at all to do the paperwork and wait months for the wedding party ("reception"). Some even sign the marriage contract and consider it an engagement because without a wedding party there is no marriage.

This is the problem as I see it. This guy is, technically, married. He will have to divorce. However, in his wife's mind, since there was no wedding party she never really married him.

How sad.

I'm so sorry, OP.

U hit it right on the money!

[Brettanne 1]

I think ur counfusing alot of us, lol, its clearly stated she asked for divorce because we "dont understand each other", which means, "i dont want u anymore thanks for bringing me to this great nation goodbye"!

Not confused. Understood completely. You still do not understand you contradicted yourself numerous times.

she wanted to wait until THE NIGHT OF OUR WEDDING RECEPTION! and i agreed to that! I hope i cleared it up for u, i dont need to record her, i dont want to see or speak to her so i wont be accused of abuse of any sort.

I know. I know.

You are upset. Understandable. Please read right here below in your own words what you have said at least FOUR TIMES:

Yea 10 days before our wedding, it was all setup all along. 10 days before the wedding she tells my and family and i that we dont understand each other, So i tell her lets push the wedding date back to give us more time, as soon as i said that she said she wants a divorce.

...That's why she waited 10 days before our wedding date.

Now you clearly meant to say WEDDING RECEPTION in these quotes above. I was trying to point out where YOU have REPEATEDLY said "wedding" when you meant "wedding reception". And you confused people by doing that.

It is clear to me you have been saying "wedding" when you mean "wedding reception" because in your mind, like everyone else, the term "wedding" means sex and living together.

People have wedding receptions immediately after the wedding ceremony itself so it is bizarre to schedule a "reception" five months or whatever after the wedding.

Please answer the question about what country she is from. Thanks.

VERY WELL SAID rlogan

[Ihavequestions 419]

I think ur counfusing alot of us, lol, its clearly stated she asked for divorce because we "dont understand each other", which means, "i dont want u anymore thanks for bringing me to this great nation goodbye"!

Not confused. Understood completely. You still do not understand you contradicted yourself numerous times.

she wanted to wait until THE NIGHT OF OUR WEDDING RECEPTION! and i agreed to that! I hope i cleared it up for u, i dont need to record her, i dont want to see or speak to her so i wont be accused of abuse of any sort.

I know. I know.

You are upset. Understandable. Please read right here below in your own words what you have said at least FOUR TIMES:

Yea 10 days before our wedding, it was all setup all along. 10 days before the wedding she tells my and family and i that we dont understand each other, So i tell her lets push the wedding date back to give us more time, as soon as i said that she said she wants a divorce.

...That's why she waited 10 days before our wedding date.

Now you clearly meant to say WEDDING RECEPTION in these quotes above. I was trying to point out where YOU have REPEATEDLY said "wedding" when you meant "wedding reception". And you confused people by doing that.

It is clear to me you have been saying "wedding" when you mean "wedding reception" because in your mind, like everyone else, the term "wedding" means sex and living together.

People have wedding receptions immediately after the wedding ceremony itself so it is bizarre to schedule a "reception" five months or whatever after the wedding.

Please answer the question about what country she is from. Thanks.

VERY WELL SAID rlogan

I'll repeat this one more time: In this region, MENA (which includes Jordan, the country the OP's spouse is from) the word "wedding" means "WEDDING PARTY" which to Americans means reception. Americans get married without receptions all of the time. The vast majority of our marriages are published in the local newspaper and that's how everyone who cares to know and didn't attend the ceremony or reception learns of it.

That's not how it is here. The marriage is "published" by having the WEDDING PARTY where the marriage is announced to friends/family/the neighbors. Brides frequently wear white wedding dresses at their WEDDING PARTY. The couple cannot and does not dare live together, or even consider being alone in a room together so consumating the marriage is out of the question without a WEDDING PARTY. The WEDDING PARTY can be a banquet at a fancy hotel or it can be soda and cake in the family's living room, but THERE HAS TO BE A WEDDING PARTY OR THEY AREN'T MARRIED. The WEDDING PARTY is the actual wedding. Signing the marriage contract does not make a marriage. That is considered the engagement period for a lot of couples.

I can't emphasize enough how important that WEDDING PARTY is and how the OP is stating a factual representation of, culturally, how it is.

In America, he's married because they had an official, on paper marriage. In Jordan, he's not married because there was no WEDDING PARTY. Same thing goes for his wife. She can run back to Jordan a single, never been married woman. When he divorces her, she will only be considered divorced in the United States because, technically, in Jordan she was never married.