help please it is a Nightmare

[Afrilaskan Queen 0]

Wow, thank you for this. Your brother has talent and the words are very comforting. Just beautiful, thanks for sharing this treat with me today it is thoughtful and kind. All The Best..

[Leedah 22]

I'm going to just say one thing....Be patient and take a good look at WHY all this is happening.

I went through some of the same things you are going through (hurdles, hoops, rings of fire, etc).

I ignored all the signs and brought my husband over to the U.S. only 1 month ago after waiting almost a year.

Guess what?...He beat the ####### out of me after 4 days of being here, got a felony assault charge (provoked a fight and it backfired on him), now has his 2 year green card and is living the high life at least for the next 2 years on my hard work.

Honestly, I now WISH I had heeded the signs that you are getting now. Trust me, there is a reason why it is not easy to bring him here. The consulates know what is going on and they take their time for a reason. I thought my consulate was just being stupid for putting me and my husband on AP (waiting). Now I see that they were waiting for me to wake up and smell the coffee (which I'm doing now..but its too late).

I truly hope this is not the issue with your husband,....

but as a word of caution, ...Look....at.....the....signs.

Leedah

[ForeverAmen 0]

Afrilaskan Queen - I bid you the best throughout your journey. The You Tube link shared by momov31 was encouraging. I hope it speaks to you as God sees fit.

Boaz

[It's me 1]

I'm going to just say one thing....Be patient and take a good look at WHY all this is happening.

I went through some of the same things you are going through (hurdles, hoops, rings of fire, etc).

I ignored all the signs and brought my husband over to the U.S. only 1 month ago after waiting almost a year.

Guess what?...He beat the ####### out of me after 4 days of being here, got a felony assault charge (provoked a fight and it backfired on him), now has his 2 year green card and is living the high life at least for the next 2 years on my hard work.

Honestly, I now WISH I had heeded the signs that you are getting now. Trust me, there is a reason why it is not easy to bring him here. The consulates know what is going on and they take their time for a reason. I thought my consulate was just being stupid for putting me and my husband on AP (waiting). Now I see that they were waiting for me to wake up and smell the coffee (which I'm doing now..but its too late).

I truly hope this is not the issue with your husband,....

but as a word of caution, ...Look....at.....the....signs.

Leedah

Although i am a hopeless romantic, I have to agree with you Leedah, from personal experience I know that God gives His children signs for there own protection (God loves us like that)

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

Denials are not all forbears of fraud. Some are test of your spirt and strength. After a denial people are sensitive and having people hop on the fraud band wagon is painful to them. I have been down the path already and yes in the long run it strengthens the soul but it is not a path I would wish on anyone else. She will have to jump through enough extra hoops and have plenty of time for self reflection. My time has caused me to start thinking of what more I can do to help there. I have come to truely understand why people travelled there a centry ago ( besides the colonial gorernments that only wanted to rape a countries resources )

I'm going to just say one thing....Be patient and take a good look at WHY all this is happening.

I went through some of the same things you are going through (hurdles, hoops, rings of fire, etc).

I ignored all the signs and brought my husband over to the U.S. only 1 month ago after waiting almost a year.

Guess what?...He beat the ####### out of me after 4 days of being here, got a felony assault charge (provoked a fight and it backfired on him), now has his 2 year green card and is living the high life at least for the next 2 years on my hard work.

Honestly, I now WISH I had heeded the signs that you are getting now. Trust me, there is a reason why it is not easy to bring him here. The consulates know what is going on and they take their time for a reason. I thought my consulate was just being stupid for putting me and my husband on AP (waiting). Now I see that they were waiting for me to wake up and smell the coffee (which I'm doing now..but its too late).

I truly hope this is not the issue with your husband,....

but as a word of caution, ...Look....at.....the....signs.

Leedah

Although i am a hopeless romantic, I have to agree with you Leedah, from personal experience I know that God gives His children signs for there own protection (God loves us like that)

[Afrilaskan Queen 0]

Hello there to Leedah & IamGodsProperty,

Sorry I had to reply to you both in one post but I wanted to be sure to acknowledge your post because you are sharing your experience and it sounds like a really bad one from the sounds of it. I'm sorry you experienced so much hardship! If someone came home to beat me for days I probably would be very wounded and perhaps want to use my experience to help others. I do wonder how your guy is staying in the US with a felony, if he is not a citizen, I am surprised he was not deported.

As Sylvia has said there are denials given for a multitiude of reasons even down to the most minute problem such as something incorrect on the approved petition. Our case has very specific differences than your own, each and every one is different, but we should all be cautious in all things - I agree. I know where I stand in my own circumstances.. Thank you though.... Words of caution for those who's wound also is painfully close, your helpfulness though well meant may need to be delivered at a time sensitive time. Projecting feelings from your own situation could help or unfortunately do harm too...though not meant to.

All the Best...

[idocare 3]

I have been to the Lagos embassey; I will try to describe to you the way they operated in 2004.

Early morning a Nigerian man will come out and ask all the people interviewing to form a line by him across the street from the entry into the embassey; once everyone is lined up he asks you to follow him into a formed line. At the first gate, they check you and your belongings for weapons etc.( no cell phone allowed inside ) You must have an interview letter to proceed any farther or you'll be denied entrance.

Once cleared you go into one building and pay your money for the interview get your receit and proceed out of that building and walk maybe 300 feet into another building. That where you get to sit and wait your turn to be interviewed.

Sometime in the afternoon another line starts forming for people that want to pick up paperwork (Packet 3 &4 ) and such. You must bring your approval letter Noa2 before they will supply you with the packets and an interview date.

It's only in the second building that an officer can deny an applicant, no Americans work outside the gates of the embassey, nor does any interviewing officers.

If you don't have the proper paperwork you will not be attended too.

Sometimes being in a long distance relationship doesen't give you the opportunity to really know each other. You only hear that someone far away is very interested in you and keeps in constant contact with you telling you how much they miss you and lots of what you want to hear. I don't think the embassey is testing your love for your husband; I'm thinking that the embassey may know things about your husband that he may of forgotten to tell you.

I don't have any answers for your situation; but my thinking is this. The important thing is that you all be together living under the same roof, if not here then find a Country where he'd be able to go and you also will be able to get your needed medical care. Why blame the USCIS for you all being apart ? Remember you do have other options. Just as your asking your husband to leave his home land ( house, job, family ) maybe you can do the same so you and him can be together.

Tomorrow isn't promised to none of us. Why spend all this time apart ? Go to your husband, live there with him and maybe the two of you can decide where you go from there. But at least you will be with the man you married.

Just my thoughts.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

Many people making the journey were not so overcome with the feeling between the legs that we didn't create a valid relationship that we wish to be able to enjoy in the US . In my case the snag in the interview was well know. She withheld the visa for his inablilty to tell her classified information. When she wouldn't listen to me after I reported the attempt of espionage to the DOD and that will take a path longer than visa approval and is being handled as part of a law suit against the government. The government isn't all knowing. They have let partners through that have left petitioners in weeks. I suppose some of those paid the same fees the scammers pay at Lagos to ensure an easy interview. I would not pay such. But for those of you that simnlpy brought a good pubic hair separator to amuse yourself with please stop assuming that the low paid poorly clecks at the consulate have any special mental abilities

[Perseverance 1]

I was there at the end of Dec 06 the procedure was still the same.

I am sure that I will get flamed for this....

The COs at the embasseys have a job to do. Thier job may not make them popular with everyone, but they are doing thier job based on the little bits of information about our relationship that we give them. Thier job is really to protect us, not everyone realises this. There are procedures set in place to make everything run as smoothly as possible for ALL parties involved.

Now, our journey was not easy so I speak from experience. We had 3 interviews, including one with me, which technically would make 4. We were sent to the fraud investigation unit. It sucked, but it was for my protection. It was up to us to prove our case legitimate. We did prove it, but I worked very hard and gave them MORE than what they asked for. I did not just travel to Nigeria one time, I traveled several times, once every 6 months until he got here. I traveled several times BEFORE I ever decided to file for a visa for him. It seemed we had a solid case, but they saw SOMETHING and it was our job to prove otherwise.

When he got here it still was not over at our AOS interview I was asked if I was SURE about this that once the GC was granted there was nothing they could do to protect me.

Yes it was uncomfortable, yes it sucked, yes I hated it at the time, but I did and still do realise that this was all for my protection. I know that when you are in the situation it is hard to step back and take a good look.

Our file was about 3 inches thick, I remember thinking what in the heck could be in there?? Truthfully I dont know, I do know that I did not file 3 inches worth of paper so what was the rest of it?? Not to mention that there was also some information in a data system about us accessed via PC.

You can choose to be angry with what I have to say and you can flame me, I really dont care. Find a way to take your situation into your own hands, I did and it payed off.

And now...let the flaming begin

I have been to the Lagos embassey; I will try to describe to you the way they operated in 2004.

Early morning a Nigerian man will come out and ask all the people interviewing to form a line by him across the street from the entry into the embassey; once everyone is lined up he asks you to follow him into a formed line. At the first gate, they check you and your belongings for weapons etc.( no cell phone allowed inside ) You must have an interview letter to proceed any farther or you'll be denied entrance.

Once cleared you go into one building and pay your money for the interview get your receit and proceed out of that building and walk maybe 300 feet into another building. That where you get to sit and wait your turn to be interviewed.

Sometime in the afternoon another line starts forming for people that want to pick up paperwork (Packet 3 &4 ) and such. You must bring your approval letter Noa2 before they will supply you with the packets and an interview date.

It's only in the second building that an officer can deny an applicant, no Americans work outside the gates of the embassey, nor does any interviewing officers.

If you don't have the proper paperwork you will not be attended too.

Sometimes being in a long distance relationship doesen't give you the opportunity to really know each other. You only hear that someone far away is very interested in you and keeps in constant contact with you telling you how much they miss you and lots of what you want to hear. I don't think the embassey is testing your love for your husband; I'm thinking that the embassey may know things about your husband that he may of forgotten to tell you.

I don't have any answers for your situation; but my thinking is this. The important thing is that you all be together living under the same roof, if not here then find a Country where he'd be able to go and you also will be able to get your needed medical care. Why blame the USCIS for you all being apart ? Remember you do have other options. Just as your asking your husband to leave his home land ( house, job, family ) maybe you can do the same so you and him can be together.

Tomorrow isn't promised to none of us. Why spend all this time apart ? Go to your husband, live there with him and maybe the two of you can decide where you go from there. But at least you will be with the man you married.

Just my thoughts.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

My case was put in Admin Processing for documentation verification and home visit. This system has a process that I found protected me and my country. I feel fortunate to have such a background check done on my husband.

It takes more than just one reason for them to deny you. It usually is several reasons that collaborate into a denial.

Bad people get in and good people are kept out. All part of God’s plan. The process is not perfect, but is in place to protect us.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

But that is not their job. USCIS has a job of determining if enough evidence has been presented to support the visa. The embassy is NOT supposed to have any role in adjucating the petition. They are expressly prohibited from do it and from denying or revoking a petition without concrete evidence of fraud/ misrepresentation ( hence the basis for lawsuits againt the DOS ) The are clerks meant to process paper. But they get their heads all swollen with their titles and get hungry for a little extra flash ( cash) so if you willing to stoop to their levels you can get a quick pass. Our visa was hung up for not disclosing details of classified work. They wanted my hours and details on "what I work on in the office" Not just the name of the company or the number of years I worked or the location of my home office. He had proof of daily contact for over a year. The phone bill records alone where inches thick, there were hundreds of pictures. Are you saying that to get Joseph here should hinge on releasing sensitive data to an uncleared clerk ? I think that totally violates any concept of protecting the country And yes the clerk was reported to the department of defense.

[MAO36 30]

Hello Everybody!

I usually never get involved with controversial subjects but I do have a short comment.

My own personal experience with the Lagos Embassy was really positive. I also have 3 friends who sailed right through as well. I have the utmost respect for anyone who is brave enough to come on VJ and share their story whether happy or heart-breaking it can still be used to help, warn or encourage others.

For the ones who have had a hard time with the embassy, I do feel your pain as well.

It's kind of difficult using your own experience to warn others becasue sometimes the intent isn't taken correctly. The way I see it is keep the warnings coming if your situation didn't work out, if It did then keep the encouragement and well wishes coming.

Most of us in the end will make our own decisions anyway. I had those who were true skeptics about me going over to Nigeria twice and marrying someone I only had physical contact with twice a year. Ofcourse we're all grown and we will and have decided for ourselves to take this journey. There have been times when I want to provide my advice on what I see within a particular situation but because I know there are certain boundaries one cannot cross I keep quiet.

My husband is here, so far so good but it has taken alot of love, patience and praying together to stengthen the marriage.

I do pray for happiness for all of us since we truly deserve it. I always try to find a lesson in all of the personal stories. If it's God's will, things will work out!

[Enlighten one :) 5]

My husband, despite our conversations regarding my job, told the lady he did not know exactly what I did, but he explained what my company did. I have a boaring job that doesn't warrent conversation about. LOL But I purposely explained it to him in preperation for the interview. Might have been a determining factor as why we went into AP.

[Afrilaskan Queen 0]

Hello fellow VJers,

I am posting this after being highly disappointed and horrified at the vicious moral grandstanding, at times toward me and other innocent people struggling through the immigration process. I started this thread just hours after hearing that our REVIEW of our case was set to last 24 months from now, meaning NO one would touch it or read it for approx. for that long, no news for 2 years! You do not know the hardship that this personally has put me and my family through, overseas and locally. You do not know the individual circumstances. It is wrong to "help" a discouraged person by everyone putting themselves on a pedestal of how they did something better than the other. How is that encouraging? What is your purpose here, anyway?

I did not come here to be looked lowly upon by others who may have suffered who now feel they are strong and puff themselves up with their experience. That is not kind OR helpful! Your experience is supposed to strengthen others not be used to hurt, degrade, criticize or blame! You should be ashamed!

As good as your experience is, it does not replace actual legal knowledge. While you were busy feeling superior, you may have not realized you missed some very important facts - yes, FACTS, not feelings. Here are just a few.

1A) In 2007, service centers in the US changed dramatically, both politically and structurally. The change is still going on, in a bungling way, at the same time as their caseload has, literally, doubled. This has resulted in huge inefficiency and injustice in innumerable cases. The long wait for your papers to even be looked at is the issue here, specifically. If you were told you were approved for a visa but had to wait 2 years or more to hear when you could interview, how would you feel? Where is your compassion?

We have actively done everything we could - you don't have to tell everyone how proud you are, and what you have done to make yourselves feel great, while looking down your nose at everyone else. It's harsh, selfish and it says a lot about your capacity, or lack therof, for integrity and compassion.

I am new to the site. I was discouraged about a long wait, as so many here are. Do you even care? Do you care about those reading on the site looking for encouragement? Have you thought that perhaps you're kicking them while they're down?

1B) We were NOT denied a visa;an embassy does not deny visas. FYI: ANY error made on documents initiates a visa being sent back for review. Did you realize that thousands of visas are sent in review for mistakes on birthdates and other minor errors?

2) Did you know that the officials you dealt with personally are not necessarily, or even usually, the same people others are dealing with?

3) Lagos is NOT the only embassy that has trouble! These are imperfect PEOPLE! Mistakes happen, there are bad people everywhere, inside and outside of the consulate - just like in the US where there are bad doctors and lawyers and everything else. If you cannot recognize that mistakes happen, you are both deluded, and you are robbing a victim of their right to stand up for justice which means you are defying what the US is supposedly about: FREEDOM and JUSTICE!

No matter how earnest, every system in this world is corrupt, injust or wrong in some way or another - that's not difficult see. Good people are often disillusioned after getting involved with well-meaning organizations because, no matter how hard you work or try, this world is unfortunately saturated with dishonesty and injustice.

4) Our case was not denied at the gate. But my husband was unable to get inside without his papers that were withheld for the entirety of the 2 months we spent trying to get them. Our Senator's office and our lawyer were annoyed, because they had to FORCE the embassy there locally to do their job. I have no idea why there was an issue - for all I know someone was just feeling moody that day, or they were affected by any number of conditions. It is far more complicated than you obviously realized otherwise you would not make ignorant blanket statements.

If you blissfully went through to the end I'm glad for you, but don't rob others of their right to share their grief! Don't BLAME them for their grief! It's like telling a molested child that they brought it on themselves, and have no right to complain! It's wrong, and you know it, and you should be ashamed that you spend your time looking for a reason to cause struggling people even more pain then they already have.

You can express your experience and your opinions without putting others down!!

I appreciate your opinions, you have the right to them, however, witnessing the way in which they were used to attack others (I was specifically angered by the recent ganging up on Sylvia&Joseph) on this site is incredibly disappointing. I don't know what I was expecting. Clearly, if you complain or vent about injustices and frustrations you are personally experiencing, you should be ready to be crucified!

Thank you to those who posted their experience positive or negative that was encouraging like MAO36, I appreciated your balanced words.

[It's me 1]

Denials are not all forbears of fraud. Some are test of your spirt and strength. After a denial people are sensitive and having people hop on the fraud band wagon is painful to them. I have been down the path already and yes in the long run it strengthens the soul but it is not a path I would wish on anyone else. She will have to jump through enough extra hoops and have plenty of time for self reflection. My time has caused me to start thinking of what more I can do to help there. I have come to truely understand why people travelled there a centry ago ( besides the colonial gorernments that only wanted to rape a countries resources )

I'm going to just say one thing....Be patient and take a good look at WHY all this is happening.

I went through some of the same things you are going through (hurdles, hoops, rings of fire, etc).

I ignored all the signs and brought my husband over to the U.S. only 1 month ago after waiting almost a year.

Guess what?...He beat the ####### out of me after 4 days of being here, got a felony assault charge (provoked a fight and it backfired on him), now has his 2 year green card and is living the high life at least for the next 2 years on my hard work.

Honestly, I now WISH I had heeded the signs that you are getting now. Trust me, there is a reason why it is not easy to bring him here. The consulates know what is going on and they take their time for a reason. I thought my consulate was just being stupid for putting me and my husband on AP (waiting). Now I see that they were waiting for me to wake up and smell the coffee (which I'm doing now..but its too late).

I truly hope this is not the issue with your husband,....

but as a word of caution, ...Look....at.....the....signs.

Leedah

Although i am a hopeless romantic, I have to agree with you Leedah, from personal experience I know that God gives His children signs for there own protection (God loves us like that)

Point of correction, i am in noooo way insinuating that her man is fraudulant!